| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"packrat" |
| Date: |
29 Sep 2005 10:20:27 AM |
| Object: |
relationships? |
Just wondering if relationships with another person with depression works
any better or worse than a relationship with someone without depression. I
know in my last relationship he didn't understand my problems with
depression what so ever and the depression caused problems. Albeit, he also
made it worse since he was mean and abusive. Now I'm curious about if
becoming involved with someone again if it is more difficult with 2
depressives, or maybe a bit easier since each other can empathize and
support.
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| User: "Rebecca Jo" |
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| Title: Re: relationships? |
29 Sep 2005 10:32:38 AM |
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"packrat" <maddie_75@yahoo.com> wrote:
Just wondering if relationships with another person with depression works
any better or worse than a relationship with someone without depression.
I know in my last relationship he didn't understand my problems with
depression what so ever and the depression caused problems. Albeit, he
also made it worse since he was mean and abusive. Now I'm curious about
if becoming involved with someone again if it is more difficult with 2
depressives, or maybe a bit easier since each other can empathize and
support.
In my experience, both situations have their own ups & downs. Two
depressives together have understanding but it's also easy to drag the other
person down if you're down yourself. Also if anyone is harboring any of the
"fix-it" attitude, it can make it difficult because as we all know, it
cannot be "fixed". It's easy to feel a failure if your partner is always
depressed & you can't do anything to help.
The trick is finding someone who understands they can't fix anything but
will be there for you while you're hurting & will offer you a hand to hold
until you feel better. That someone could be a depressive or not. With
everything, it all depends on specific personalities.
Hugs!
rj
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| User: "packrat" |
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| Title: Re: relationships? |
29 Sep 2005 11:31:21 AM |
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that's what I kind of thought, it all comes down to the 2 individuals in the
long run.
"Rebecca Jo" <rebeccajodreams@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:3q2fofFcsje8U1@individual.net...
"packrat" <maddie_75@yahoo.com> wrote:
Just wondering if relationships with another person with depression works
any better or worse than a relationship with someone without depression.
I know in my last relationship he didn't understand my problems with
depression what so ever and the depression caused problems. Albeit, he
also made it worse since he was mean and abusive. Now I'm curious about
if becoming involved with someone again if it is more difficult with 2
depressives, or maybe a bit easier since each other can empathize and
support.
In my experience, both situations have their own ups & downs. Two
depressives together have understanding but it's also easy to drag the
other person down if you're down yourself. Also if anyone is harboring any
of the "fix-it" attitude, it can make it difficult because as we all know,
it cannot be "fixed". It's easy to feel a failure if your partner is
always depressed & you can't do anything to help.
The trick is finding someone who understands they can't fix anything but
will be there for you while you're hurting & will offer you a hand to hold
until you feel better. That someone could be a depressive or not. With
everything, it all depends on specific personalities.
Hugs!
rj
.
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| User: "Rhiannon" |
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| Title: Re: relationships? |
29 Sep 2005 07:17:36 PM |
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"packrat" <maddie_75@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:tFU_e.376739$_o.199587@attbi_s71...
that's what I kind of thought, it all comes down to the 2 individuals in
the
long run.
I agree. Personally, I would rather be with someone who understands my
illness either directly - themselves - or indirectly - family or friend.
--
Rhiannon
rhianon@sympatico.ca
The Labyrinth
http://thelabyrinthofr.blogspot.com
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| User: "Brianversion" |
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| Title: Re: relationships? |
29 Sep 2005 10:34:38 AM |
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I sometimes think that i'd be less depressed with a person who is prone
to depression. Then the next day, I think I'm happy that I don't have
to torment someone the way I torment myself.
I remeber when I was in recovery programs, people would pair off. Then
they'd break up when a spouse would chide another: "You look like you
need a meeting," The last thing I want is for a spouse to think she
can cure me just because she's having a few better days than me. It's
emasculating. So I don't know. Anything is better than having my feet
stuck in the ice of my brain. So I'd like to apply for the job.
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| User: "jill" |
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| Title: Re: relationships? |
29 Sep 2005 10:47:57 AM |
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emasculating thats a funny word to use there. So as a man you feel its
your job not to need a meeting? Hunh?
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| User: "Franz Bestuchev" |
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| Title: Re: relationships? |
29 Sep 2005 11:39:38 AM |
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"jill" <janeohara50@msn.com> wrote in message
news:1128008877.898954.30180@g44g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
emasculating thats a funny word to use there. So as a man you feel its
your job not to need a meeting? Hunh?
Men seek support in different ways, pushing a guy into some situations isn't
a "macho" thing it's a matter of putting him in an uncomfortable situation.
Emasculation is associated with strength, virility and so on. But it's also
a sort of "spirit", it's imposing influence on psyche, makes him feel
uneasy.
That's not going to be conducive to any help a "meeting" would offer. It
will only cause tension and resentment.
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| User: "Brianversion" |
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| Title: Re: relationships? |
29 Sep 2005 01:48:51 PM |
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"That's not going to be conducive to any help a "meeting" would offer.
It
will only cause tension and resentment."
Yes, that has been my experience. I neglected to say originally that I
was one of the people who "paired off". The program got in the way. I
can tell you that she did marry a guy in the program, and I have no
idea if they are happy. She's a divorce lawyer. That mattered to me
too.
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| User: "Brianversion" |
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| Title: Re: relationships? |
29 Sep 2005 11:03:24 AM |
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So as a man you feel its
your job not to need a meeting? Hunh?
No, just not be told by a spouse I need a meeting. It's like she's
saying, "There are big strong men there to help you through your little
problems, of which I am prone, yet today I am free. Go see the big
strong men, then come home and you'll be all better, like me."
I don't want a committee involved in my relationships.
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| User: "Dark Butterfly" |
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| Title: Re: relationships? |
29 Sep 2005 01:30:28 PM |
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The only relationship that ever worked for me is the one i'm in. We
both have depression and other mental problems, and we get along great
together. We're perfect together.
packrat wrote:
Just wondering if relationships with another person with depression works
any better or worse than a relationship with someone without depression. I
know in my last relationship he didn't understand my problems with
depression what so ever and the depression caused problems. Albeit, he also
made it worse since he was mean and abusive. Now I'm curious about if
becoming involved with someone again if it is more difficult with 2
depressives, or maybe a bit easier since each other can empathize and
support.
.
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| User: "Rhiannon" |
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| Title: Re: relationships? |
29 Sep 2005 07:21:49 PM |
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"Dark Butterfly" <dark.butterfly24@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:rpW_e.89798$Zp.64225@lakeread04...
The only relationship that ever worked for me is the one i'm in. We
both have depression and other mental problems, and we get along great
together. We're perfect together.
I'm glad you found someone special. You sound so in love. :)
--
Rhiannon
rhianon@sympatico.ca
The Labyrinth
http://thelabyrinthofr.blogspot.com
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| User: "Dark Butterfly" |
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| Title: Re: relationships? |
29 Sep 2005 08:52:18 PM |
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Thanks.
Rhiannon wrote:
"Dark Butterfly" <dark.butterfly24@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:rpW_e.89798$Zp.64225@lakeread04...
The only relationship that ever worked for me is the one i'm in. We
both have depression and other mental problems, and we get along great
together. We're perfect together.
I'm glad you found someone special. You sound so in love. :)
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| User: "%" |
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| Title: Re: relationships? |
29 Sep 2005 08:55:25 PM |
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no
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