| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"justpackrat" |
| Date: |
09 Oct 2006 12:43:43 AM |
| Object: |
relationships |
suck
the beginning is such a lie, suck you in and then once your emotions
and heart are involved
SUCKA!!
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| User: "lisa in mass." |
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| Title: Re: relationships |
09 Oct 2006 12:45:11 AM |
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justpackrat wrote...
suck
the beginning is such a lie, suck you in and then once your
emotions and heart are involved
SUCKA!!
:-(
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| User: "jill" |
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| Title: Re: relationships |
09 Oct 2006 10:21:28 AM |
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justpackrat wrote:
suck
the beginning is such a lie, suck you in and then once your emotions
and heart are involved
SUCKA!!
I kept recreating the same bad relationship . It took me a long
time to figure that out. It took me a long time to get it. It was a
pattern. somebody who has a father who is unable to show love is
much more likely to marry a man who is also unable to show love. Its
crazy really but it is all to comman I think. So I think your only
defense is to try to be aware of that craziness and don't give in to
it!
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| User: "cal" |
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| Title: Re: relationships |
09 Oct 2006 11:41:46 AM |
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"jill" <ojj9691@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1160407288.789602.267730@h48g2000cwc.googlegroups.com...
justpackrat wrote:
suck
the beginning is such a lie, suck you in and then once your emotions
and heart are involved
SUCKA!!
I kept recreating the same bad relationship . It took me a long
time to figure that out. It took me a long time to get it. It was a
pattern. somebody who has a father who is unable to show love is
much more likely to marry a man who is also unable to show love.
and a man who had a father who was unable to show love has a hell of a hard
time figuring out how to show love. goes to show how important fathers are.
next, we come to mothers.
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| User: "styrofoamboots" |
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| Title: Re: relationships |
09 Oct 2006 12:20:15 PM |
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and a man who had a father who was unable to show love has a hell of a hard
time figuring out how to show love. goes to show how important fathers are.
next, we come to mothers.
True, as a 25yr old male whose father left before I was born I am
scared shitless about becoming a father myself. Will I be a failure as
my father was, or too protective and smother my child. I look to my
friends and all I see is macho ***** and them desperately trying to
make their sons into 'real men'. Which scares me even more. I honestly
don't want to have kids because I fear I will repeat the mistakes of my
step-father or the kids will be depressive like me.
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| User: "Contrarian" |
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| Title: Re: relationships |
09 Oct 2006 02:21:09 PM |
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styrofoamboots <styrofoamboots81@hotmail.com> wrote:
and a man who had a father who was unable to show love has a hell of a hard
time figuring out how to show love. goes to show how important fathers are.
next, we come to mothers.
True, as a 25yr old male whose father left before I was born I am
scared shitless about becoming a father myself. Will I be a failure as
my father was, or too protective and smother my child. I look to my
friends and all I see is macho ***** and them desperately trying to
make their sons into 'real men'. Which scares me even more. I honestly
don't want to have kids because I fear I will repeat the mistakes of my
step-father or the kids will be depressive like me.
Wish I had some suggestions. But if I understand
correctly, there is no impending event.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: relationships |
09 Oct 2006 02:56:58 PM |
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styrofoamboots wrote:
and a man who had a father who was unable to show love has a hell of a hard
time figuring out how to show love. goes to show how important fathers are.
next, we come to mothers.
True, as a 25yr old male whose father left before I was born I am
scared shitless about becoming a father myself. Will I be a failure as
my father was, or too protective and smother my child. I look to my
friends and all I see is macho ***** and them desperately trying to
make their sons into 'real men'. Which scares me even more. I honestly
don't want to have kids because I fear I will repeat the mistakes of my
step-father or the kids will be depressive like me.
There are many areas where I hope to grow and develop more, (It's
a little embaressing sometimes to be 32 and working on a lot of the
same issues I was dealing with 10,15, 20 years ago) but I'm happy I
don't have to worry about getting married and having children... Even
if I could, I know I could never handle that... I love being an uncle
though... aunts and uncles and grandparents are lucky, I think... they
get to spend time with children without the long term obligations and
responsibilities... as far as sex roles go, it's a shame when they are
too rigid... If we are honest with ourselves we can see that we all
have masculine and femenine elements in all of us... sometimes they are
out of balance, and maybe a good thing to work on is finding more
balance, as balance is a positive thing in all areas of life, I think,
but rigid expectations roles and expections is very unhealthy and fear
based, I believe...
-"Jordy"
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: relationships |
09 Oct 2006 02:46:51 PM |
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justpackrat wrote:
suck
the beginning is such a lie, suck you in and then once your emotions
and heart are involved
SUCKA!!
I've never had a long term romantic relatrionship, but relationships
with familly and friends can be difficult...
-"Jordy"
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| User: "Janithor" |
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| Title: Re: relationships |
09 Oct 2006 05:24:00 AM |
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x-no-archive: yes
justpackrat wrote:
suck
the beginning is such a lie, suck you in and then once your emotions
and heart are involved
SUCKA!!
I don't know how to say this, so I'll just say it and hope it doesn't
sound bad and that you get my meaning. When you're not in good mental
health, when you have low self-esteem, lots of frustration, and are
spinning in circles on your own, it's going to be a lot harder to find
ANY relationship.
I say this because back in my darker days, I knew deep down even though
I wanted a girlfriend desperately, even if I found one, it wouldn't
last, because I was such a mess at the time. Because I did have a
girlfriend briefly, and I chased her because I was clingy pathetic
psycho. Of course she left me, I would have left me too.
The problem is that if you do get into a relationship under these
conditions, if the relationship fails, that just becomes one more brick
dropped down on you, one more reason thrown in your face about why you
suck, one more thing to beat yourself up with and give you a sense of
hopelessness. When in reality, it may be a lot more situational than
you realize. There very likely IS a good relationship out there, for
anybody. It's a question of conditions rather than absolutes.
My $.02, fwiw.
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| User: "styrofoamboots" |
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| Title: Re: relationships |
09 Oct 2006 12:13:40 PM |
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Janithor is so very much on the mark. This happened to me many times.
Getting a girlfriend and losing her to my own insecurities and self
doubt. Being needy and clingy, distant and cold within a few minutes
does not ingratiate yourself with the opposite sex or same sex for that
matter. I'm still working on it to be honest. It is one more reason
to say 'You are not good enough. You are pathetic. How could she love
you." Right now I am avoiding relationships of any kind because I know
that I am not in the correct state mentally to engage in a fulfilling
and reciprocal relationship with anyone. By my standards. Yet I see
jerks and a-holes with girls I know and it does annoy me. Especially
when they complain about their relationships to me!
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