| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Franz Bestuchev" |
| Date: |
09 Jan 2007 05:00:48 AM |
| Object: |
Seven Simple Items that Might Change the World (craigslist rant) |
Let me begin by saying how much I love craigslist. My name is Angela,
and I’m a craigslist addict. I love its simplicity, its durability, its
ubiquity, its grass-roots charm. Using craigslist, I was able to furnish
my entire 1-bedroom apartment with truly decent furniture for a total of
less than $200. In a society that is becoming increasingly a-literate
(being able to read but unwilling to do so), craigslist has pretty much
revolutionized the process of selling and buying used goods, apartment
hunting, job searching, even matchmaking. After checking work and
personal email, it’s the first thing I look at in the morning and the
last thing I look at at night. I. Love. Craigslist.
That being said, the following is a rant that has been bubbling in my
brain for a while now. Buckle in and shut up.
Item #1: People are stupid. And they’re usually mean. As the writers of
Scrubs so eloquently put it, people are *****-coated bastards with
***** fillings. You wonder why they’re selling a beautiful brand new
sofa for a fraction of the price they paid six months ago? See Item #1.
You wonder why they’re flagging your completely harmless ad or can’t
seem to distinguish between to, two, and too? See Item #1. You wonder
why they spend hours composing rants that maybe three people are going
to read and even fewer are going to appreciate? See Item #1. You wonder
why they bought that adorable puppy in the first place when they were
gonna move to a no-pets apartment in two months? See Item #1. You might
remember the sentiment in Item #1 from Every Bumper Sticker Ever
Written. But…the upside is that craigslist was developed specifically
for stupid people, those who are just too lazy or too dumb to do
anything but take the easiest way out of life’s irritations. Be aware
that you’ll run into people just like you, who aren’t intelligent or
efficient enough to post a friggin newspaper ad or hang signs from
streetlights. Would YOU buy from anything from you? I thought not. If
you’re gonna use an extremely user-friendly site, start by acknowledging
your own user-friendliness and that of others. Much annoyance can be
avoided when stupidity is embraced rather than hated and feared.
Item #2: Speaking of stupidity, let’s talk about the USE OF CAPITAL
LETTERS. ANYONE WHO HASN’T BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK SINCE THE DAWN OF
THE INTERNET KNOWS THAT PRINTING IN ALL CAPITALS IS THE CYBERSPACE
EQUIVALENT OF YELLING. Anyone who’s lived knows that being yelled at is
exceedingly unpleasant and off-putting. If you really wanna sell that
antique table, try not yelling at me. Yes, it’s beautiful. Your
kindly-added picture probably shows off its nice details very well (see
Item #3). You’re not gonna sell me on it any faster by making me feel
like your enthusiastic spit droplets are moistening my face. We're not
deaf, we're stupid. As the craigslist posting rules suggest, keep
capitals to a minimum. Or, heck, go without them. Really, try it. It
feels kinda good.
Item #3: Pictures. Pictures sell the item better than any words you ever
say ever will. Unless, of course, you fall under Item #1. Take nice
pictures. If they don’t come out nice, take them again. Don’t post them
anyway and then apologize for them. This won’t help you. Make sure they
appear right side up. When they load sideways, I always feel like I must
look like Forrest Gump and Gump Junior when they’re watching TV
together. My head starts to tilt, the drooling begins, it’s not pretty.
Make them clear, make them right side up. If they come out unclear or
upside down, spend the few seconds to retake and reload them. Yes, yes,
sometimes the site itself has problems. So delay your posting until the
problem is resolved. A bad picture is worse than no picture at all. If
you have no digital camera (I’m one of those Neanderthals, myself), say
so. Then describe the HELL outta your items. Height, width, depth,
color, style, everything that can be said about it, say. Better yet, go
to google images, find the closest approximation, and load it. It’s
there, believe me. I’m also a google addict.
Item #4: Detailed descriptions are good. Life stories are not. Unless
you’re posting a rant. In that case, knock yourself out. Please.
(badum-chee!) I don’t need to know what your
roommate/spouse/friend/daughter did that forced you to sell this item. I
do need to know whether it will fit in my 1-bedroom apartment. If I’m
interested enough to contact you, maybe I’ll be interested in your life
story too. (Especially if politely listening and attempting to
understand will get me a cheaper price!) But save it for second contact,
or, better yet, decide it’s possible to sell something without baring
your soul to a complete stranger.
Item #5: Be available. Don’t post an ad right before your two-week long
trip to Borneo. Don’t respond to my ad with the caveat that you’ll be
away for the weekend and won’t actually have time to come look until
Tuesday. If you’re gonna post or respond, have enough time.
Item #5: Complaints about the seller, the buyer, their behavior, the
price, being unjustly flagged? Please see Item #1. Don’t write a 4-page
rant. Unless you’re me.
Item #6: Spelling and punctuation. Yes, frankly, I AM the grammar
police. It’s wrought iron, not rod iron. It’s shabby "chic", not "sheik"
or "sheek". "It’s" means "it is"; "its" is the possessive you’re looking
for. "Your" is possessive; "you’re" means you are. "Unique" means
"one-of-a-kind", so nothing can be “very” unique, anymore than a woman
can be “very” pregnant. She either is or she isn’t. Chances are good
that your curio cabinet is not unique, but instead is rare or unusual.
Either correct definition will sell it just as quickly. But I’m not
going to be eager to spend my time and money on your “unique armour
(it’s armoire, btw), with rod-iron trim”, since you don’t appear
intelligent enough to handle a toaster, much less an antique (not
anteek). and btw sentences with no punctuation or correctly used
capitals are very hard to read like trying to keep water from draining
between your fingersespeciallyif youveleft onlyanoccasional space
between words like your stillin middleschool orsomething i mean comeon.
I’m much more likely to deal with someone who falls a little further
away from smack-dab in the middle of Item #1, since, if they can write
somewhat legibly, chances are they can also read a clock and maybe even
a map.
Item #7. This is craigslist, online classifieds much simpler than ebay.
People come here for the easy and cheap (you’d think they’d make
prostitutes available—har!). I’m sure your antique king-size
Columbian-wood Argentinian-made Europe-imported bedroom set is gorgeous
and worth every penny of the $14,500.00 you’re asking. That picture does
indeed show entirely beautiful wood grain, and just LOOK at that
engraving. Wow. Craigslist is not the place to sell it. Thank you for
letting us see what’s out there that we’d absolutely love to have but
cannot afford without selling off a few organs or first-borns. Really,
we appreciate it. Now go sell it on ebay or push it to celebrities or
consignment stores. They can give you what you want and even deserve for
it. We’re here for the cheap and easy. $14,500.00 is a bit too much for
99% of craigslisters (and you wouldn’t wanna deal with the other 1%
anyway, believe me). This goes for professional dealers too. We look
here for the cheap. Don’t push your brand new and therefore more
expensive crap on us. The next time I see a craigslist ad that is really
just a link to your store, I’m taking hostages. And I'll never shop
there, ever. You just lost a customer, buddy. So there.
.
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| User: "GlennT" |
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| Title: Re: Seven Simple Items that Might Change the World (craigslist rant) |
09 Jan 2007 05:44:33 AM |
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Franz Bestuchev wrote:
Let me begin by saying how much I love craigslist. My name is Angela,
and I'm a craigslist addict.
Franz is really called Angela?
.
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| User: "Franz Bestuchev" |
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| Title: Re: Seven Simple Items that Might Change the World (craigslist rant) |
09 Jan 2007 07:42:38 AM |
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GlennT wrote:
Franz Bestuchev wrote:
Let me begin by saying how much I love craigslist. My name is Angela,
and I'm a craigslist addict.
Franz is really called Angela?
I have many names, just like that fellow Lucifer
.
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| User: "CyberDroog" |
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| Title: Re: Seven Simple Items that Might Change the World (craigslist rant) |
09 Jan 2007 02:38:20 PM |
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On Tue, 09 Jan 2007 04:00:48 -0700, Franz Bestuchev
<franz.bestuchev@gmail.com> wrote:
EQUIVALENT OF YELLING. Anyone who’s lived knows that being yelled at is
exceedingly unpleasant and off-putting. If you really wanna sell that
Not when it's during sex.
.
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| User: "Franz Bestuchev" |
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| Title: Re: Seven Simple Items that Might Change the World (craigslist rant) |
09 Jan 2007 03:25:04 PM |
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then CyberDroog wrote, On 1/9/2007 1:38 PM:
On Tue, 09 Jan 2007 04:00:48 -0700, Franz Bestuchev
<franz.bestuchev@gmail.com> wrote:
EQUIVALENT OF YELLING. Anyone who’s lived knows that being yelled at is
exceedingly unpleasant and off-putting. If you really wanna sell that
Not when it's during sex.
It's not my rant, just a repost of one I found on craigslist.
.
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