My mother has stage II Breast Cancer, they don't know how extensive it is
until after tomorrows surgery.
Seriously I feel bad but I know I should feel more concerned for her then I
do.
I have more anger over my own experiences with cancer. While I lay in the
hospital after finding out I have a malignant cancer, knowing I'll have to
have radiation in order to beat this, knowing I'm going to be sick, knowing
I'm going to have to struggle to be strong while going through it, having to
take care of my elementary and junior high kids and doing it all ALONE
without the comfort or support of my family... Without visits at the
hospital, without visits at my home, without help... Out of work... Sick
and alone...
Now my mother has cancer, my only sister, who is five years older then me,
is a basket case and I'm there for her, being strong, telling her she'll be
fine, and my kids are upset and I'm strong for them telling them she'll be
fine, and I'm there for my mother, telling her to stay positive, that I
truely believe if she believes she can beat it she will.
Yet I can't find it in my heart to feel anything but resentment...
.
|
|
| User: "%" |
|
| Title: Re: So much anger |
27 Nov 2006 07:58:19 PM |
|
|
"Jane" <jarsenal66nospam@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Vf6dnX_Jgt5RC_bYnZ2dnUVZ_u6dnZ2d@adelphia.com...
My mother has stage II Breast Cancer, they don't know how extensive it is
until after tomorrows surgery.
Seriously I feel bad but I know I should feel more concerned for her then
I
do.
I have more anger over my own experiences with cancer. While I lay in the
hospital after finding out I have a malignant cancer, knowing I'll have to
have radiation in order to beat this, knowing I'm going to be sick,
knowing
I'm going to have to struggle to be strong while going through it, having
to
take care of my elementary and junior high kids and doing it all ALONE
without the comfort or support of my family... Without visits at the
hospital, without visits at my home, without help... Out of work... Sick
and alone...
Now my mother has cancer, my only sister, who is five years older then me,
is a basket case and I'm there for her, being strong, telling her she'll
be
fine, and my kids are upset and I'm strong for them telling them she'll be
fine, and I'm there for my mother, telling her to stay positive, that I
truely believe if she believes she can beat it she will.
Yet I can't find it in my heart to feel anything but resentment...
all i can say is i empathize with you
.
|
|
|
| User: "Jane" |
|
| Title: Re: So much anger |
27 Nov 2006 09:32:38 PM |
|
|
"%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:lbmdnbXADJkoCvbYnZ2dnUVZ_vSdnZ2d@giganews.com...
"Jane" <jarsenal66nospam@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Vf6dnX_Jgt5RC_bYnZ2dnUVZ_u6dnZ2d@adelphia.com...
My mother has stage II Breast Cancer, they don't know how extensive it is
until after tomorrows surgery.
Seriously I feel bad but I know I should feel more concerned for her then
I
do.
I have more anger over my own experiences with cancer. While I lay in
the
hospital after finding out I have a malignant cancer, knowing I'll have
to
have radiation in order to beat this, knowing I'm going to be sick,
knowing
I'm going to have to struggle to be strong while going through it, having
to
take care of my elementary and junior high kids and doing it all ALONE
without the comfort or support of my family... Without visits at the
hospital, without visits at my home, without help... Out of work...
Sick
and alone...
Now my mother has cancer, my only sister, who is five years older then
me,
is a basket case and I'm there for her, being strong, telling her she'll
be
fine, and my kids are upset and I'm strong for them telling them she'll
be
fine, and I'm there for my mother, telling her to stay positive, that I
truely believe if she believes she can beat it she will.
Yet I can't find it in my heart to feel anything but resentment...
all i can say is i empathize with you
Thanks your empathy feels sort of like a hug and frankly I could use one of
those.
.
|
|
|
| User: "%" |
|
| Title: Re: So much anger |
27 Nov 2006 09:38:30 PM |
|
|
"Jane" <jarsenal66nospam@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:psydnTGA35K_M_bYnZ2dnUVZ_uSdnZ2d@adelphia.com...
"%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:lbmdnbXADJkoCvbYnZ2dnUVZ_vSdnZ2d@giganews.com...
"Jane" <jarsenal66nospam@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Vf6dnX_Jgt5RC_bYnZ2dnUVZ_u6dnZ2d@adelphia.com...
My mother has stage II Breast Cancer, they don't know how extensive it
is
until after tomorrows surgery.
Seriously I feel bad but I know I should feel more concerned for her
then
I
do.
I have more anger over my own experiences with cancer. While I lay in
the
hospital after finding out I have a malignant cancer, knowing I'll have
to
have radiation in order to beat this, knowing I'm going to be sick,
knowing
I'm going to have to struggle to be strong while going through it,
having
to
take care of my elementary and junior high kids and doing it all ALONE
without the comfort or support of my family... Without visits at the
hospital, without visits at my home, without help... Out of work...
Sick
and alone...
Now my mother has cancer, my only sister, who is five years older then
me,
is a basket case and I'm there for her, being strong, telling her
she'll
be
fine, and my kids are upset and I'm strong for them telling them she'll
be
fine, and I'm there for my mother, telling her to stay positive, that I
truely believe if she believes she can beat it she will.
Yet I can't find it in my heart to feel anything but resentment...
all i can say is i empathize with you
Thanks your empathy feels sort of like a hug and frankly I could use one
of
those.
i gave up on me when they said diabetes , i'm a fk'in diseased defect now ,
i don't want to die , but i just sit and wait for it now
.
|
|
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| User: "Jane" |
|
| Title: Re: So much anger |
27 Nov 2006 09:42:47 PM |
|
|
"%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:muGdnRrrbfitMvbYnZ2dnUVZ_h-dnZ2d@giganews.com...
"Jane" <jarsenal66nospam@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:psydnTGA35K_M_bYnZ2dnUVZ_uSdnZ2d@adelphia.com...
"%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:lbmdnbXADJkoCvbYnZ2dnUVZ_vSdnZ2d@giganews.com...
"Jane" <jarsenal66nospam@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Vf6dnX_Jgt5RC_bYnZ2dnUVZ_u6dnZ2d@adelphia.com...
My mother has stage II Breast Cancer, they don't know how extensive it
is
until after tomorrows surgery.
Seriously I feel bad but I know I should feel more concerned for her
then
I
do.
I have more anger over my own experiences with cancer. While I lay in
the
hospital after finding out I have a malignant cancer, knowing I'll
have
to
have radiation in order to beat this, knowing I'm going to be sick,
knowing
I'm going to have to struggle to be strong while going through it,
having
to
take care of my elementary and junior high kids and doing it all ALONE
without the comfort or support of my family... Without visits at the
hospital, without visits at my home, without help... Out of work...
Sick
and alone...
Now my mother has cancer, my only sister, who is five years older then
me,
is a basket case and I'm there for her, being strong, telling her
she'll
be
fine, and my kids are upset and I'm strong for them telling them
she'll
be
fine, and I'm there for my mother, telling her to stay positive, that
I
truely believe if she believes she can beat it she will.
Yet I can't find it in my heart to feel anything but resentment...
all i can say is i empathize with you
Thanks your empathy feels sort of like a hug and frankly I could use one
of
those.
i gave up on me when they said diabetes , i'm a fk'in diseased defect now
,
i don't want to die , but i just sit and wait for it now
Diabetes is manageable, but I don't have it, so I can't say how I'd feel
should I become a diabetic. It's definitely genetic (my dad has it bad now)
and without seeing a doctor I've tried eating better, no drinking anymore
alcohol, I stay away from sugar most of the time, and exercise and I quit
smoking but.... Not sure how that'll do.
It'll be a sorry and sad day for me if % should lose to the freaking
disease.... I'm rooting for %. Maybe my positive can be projected over
thousands of miles.
.
|
|
|
| User: "%" |
|
| Title: Re: So much anger |
27 Nov 2006 09:51:13 PM |
|
|
"Jane" <jarsenal66nospam@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:a6qdnWAVs_0ZLfbYnZ2dnUVZ_qSdnZ2d@adelphia.com...
"%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:muGdnRrrbfitMvbYnZ2dnUVZ_h-dnZ2d@giganews.com...
"Jane" <jarsenal66nospam@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:psydnTGA35K_M_bYnZ2dnUVZ_uSdnZ2d@adelphia.com...
"%" <persent@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:lbmdnbXADJkoCvbYnZ2dnUVZ_vSdnZ2d@giganews.com...
"Jane" <jarsenal66nospam@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Vf6dnX_Jgt5RC_bYnZ2dnUVZ_u6dnZ2d@adelphia.com...
My mother has stage II Breast Cancer, they don't know how extensive
it
is
until after tomorrows surgery.
Seriously I feel bad but I know I should feel more concerned for her
then
I
do.
I have more anger over my own experiences with cancer. While I lay
in
the
hospital after finding out I have a malignant cancer, knowing I'll
have
to
have radiation in order to beat this, knowing I'm going to be sick,
knowing
I'm going to have to struggle to be strong while going through it,
having
to
take care of my elementary and junior high kids and doing it all
ALONE
without the comfort or support of my family... Without visits at
the
hospital, without visits at my home, without help... Out of work...
Sick
and alone...
Now my mother has cancer, my only sister, who is five years older
then
me,
is a basket case and I'm there for her, being strong, telling her
she'll
be
fine, and my kids are upset and I'm strong for them telling them
she'll
be
fine, and I'm there for my mother, telling her to stay positive,
that
I
truely believe if she believes she can beat it she will.
Yet I can't find it in my heart to feel anything but resentment...
all i can say is i empathize with you
Thanks your empathy feels sort of like a hug and frankly I could use
one
of
those.
i gave up on me when they said diabetes , i'm a fk'in diseased defect
now
,
i don't want to die , but i just sit and wait for it now
Diabetes is manageable, but I don't have it, so I can't say how I'd feel
should I become a diabetic. It's definitely genetic (my dad has it bad
now)
and without seeing a doctor I've tried eating better, no drinking anymore
alcohol, I stay away from sugar most of the time, and exercise and I quit
smoking but.... Not sure how that'll do.
It'll be a sorry and sad day for me if % should lose to the freaking
disease.... I'm rooting for %. Maybe my positive can be projected over
thousands of miles.
no no , it's ok , i'm ok , you just do for you n yours ,
i'll get over myself , its just a ***** off having a ***** thing ,
that's why i could empathize with you
.
|
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|
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Alan Harding" |
|
| Title: Re: So much anger |
28 Nov 2006 01:50:02 AM |
|
|
In message <Vf6dnX_Jgt5RC_bYnZ2dnUVZ_u6dnZ2d@adelphia.com>, Jane
<jarsenal66nospam@hotmail.com> writes
My mother has stage II Breast Cancer, they don't know how extensive it is
until after tomorrows surgery.
Seriously I feel bad but I know I should feel more concerned for her then I
do.
I have more anger over my own experiences with cancer. While I lay in the
hospital after finding out I have a malignant cancer, knowing I'll have to
have radiation in order to beat this, knowing I'm going to be sick, knowing
I'm going to have to struggle to be strong while going through it, having to
take care of my elementary and junior high kids and doing it all ALONE
without the comfort or support of my family... Without visits at the
hospital, without visits at my home, without help... Out of work... Sick
and alone...
Now my mother has cancer, my only sister, who is five years older then me,
is a basket case and I'm there for her, being strong, telling her she'll be
fine, and my kids are upset and I'm strong for them telling them she'll be
fine, and I'm there for my mother, telling her to stay positive, that I
truely believe if she believes she can beat it she will.
Yet I can't find it in my heart to feel anything but resentment...
You're allowed to be human.
--
The opinions given above may be mine. They might also
just be what I feel like saying right now, okay?
.
|
|
|
| User: "Jane" |
|
| Title: Re: So much anger |
28 Nov 2006 04:36:20 PM |
|
|
"Alan Harding" <Alan@harding.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:n3vgW1Jqo+aFFwYk@harding.demon.co.uk...
In message <Vf6dnX_Jgt5RC_bYnZ2dnUVZ_u6dnZ2d@adelphia.com>, Jane
<jarsenal66nospam@hotmail.com> writes
My mother has stage II Breast Cancer, they don't know how extensive it is
until after tomorrows surgery.
Seriously I feel bad but I know I should feel more concerned for her then
I
do.
I have more anger over my own experiences with cancer. While I lay in the
hospital after finding out I have a malignant cancer, knowing I'll have to
have radiation in order to beat this, knowing I'm going to be sick,
knowing
I'm going to have to struggle to be strong while going through it, having
to
take care of my elementary and junior high kids and doing it all ALONE
without the comfort or support of my family... Without visits at the
hospital, without visits at my home, without help... Out of work... Sick
and alone...
Now my mother has cancer, my only sister, who is five years older then me,
is a basket case and I'm there for her, being strong, telling her she'll
be
fine, and my kids are upset and I'm strong for them telling them she'll be
fine, and I'm there for my mother, telling her to stay positive, that I
truely believe if she believes she can beat it she will.
Yet I can't find it in my heart to feel anything but resentment...
You're allowed to be human.
--
The opinions given above may be mine. They might also
just be what I feel like saying right now, okay?
Thanks Alan! I really appreciate all the comments in this thread.
.
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Contrarian" |
|
| Title: Re: So much anger |
29 Nov 2006 10:02:06 PM |
|
|
Jane <jarsenal66nospam@hotmail.com> wrote:
My mother has stage II Breast Cancer, they don't know how extensive it is
until after tomorrows surgery.
Seriously I feel bad but I know I should feel more concerned for her then I
do.
I have more anger over my own experiences with cancer....
Yet I can't find it in my heart to feel anything but resentment...
But you *are* being there for them, whether they ever
have been there for you or not, and feeling anger and
resentment are not unusual in this situation.
It's not unusual for the anger to well in families
there *wasn't* any neglect or abuse.
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "used2be" |
|
| Title: Re: So much anger |
27 Nov 2006 08:50:16 PM |
|
|
aw jane, why wasn't your family there for you? that just doesn't make any
sense and it's just not FAIR!!!!
:(
--
~u2b
+*+*+*+*+*+*+
"I only please one person per day. Today is not your day and tomorrow isn't
looking good either."
"Jane" <jarsenal66nospam@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Vf6dnX_Jgt5RC_bYnZ2dnUVZ_u6dnZ2d@adelphia.com...
My mother has stage II Breast Cancer, they don't know how extensive it is
until after tomorrows surgery.
Seriously I feel bad but I know I should feel more concerned for her then
I do.
I have more anger over my own experiences with cancer. While I lay in the
hospital after finding out I have a malignant cancer, knowing I'll have to
have radiation in order to beat this, knowing I'm going to be sick,
knowing I'm going to have to struggle to be strong while going through it,
having to take care of my elementary and junior high kids and doing it all
ALONE without the comfort or support of my family... Without visits at
the hospital, without visits at my home, without help... Out of work...
Sick and alone...
Now my mother has cancer, my only sister, who is five years older then me,
is a basket case and I'm there for her, being strong, telling her she'll
be fine, and my kids are upset and I'm strong for them telling them she'll
be fine, and I'm there for my mother, telling her to stay positive, that I
truely believe if she believes she can beat it she will.
Yet I can't find it in my heart to feel anything but resentment...
.
|
|
|
| User: "Jane" |
|
| Title: Re: So much anger |
27 Nov 2006 09:32:04 PM |
|
|
"used2be" <used2be@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:ItNah.4268$_H5.3716@tornado.texas.rr.com...
aw jane, why wasn't your family there for you? that just doesn't make any
sense and it's just not FAIR!!!!
:(
--
~u2b
I don't know hon, I was 50 minutes away at the time? Too much effort? I
got out on Thanksgiving day 2000, and my family couldn't even figure out a
meal for me.
There were so mamy times I wished I had just died in that damn hospital, but
I knew my kids regardless of how sick I was, would have had it much worse if
I wasn't there. They kept me going. They gave me the strength.
I would get up in the mornings, drive my daughter and son to school, come
home sleep all day, they would get home, wake me up, fix me something to
eat, do dishes, laundry, check the mail etc. Keep me company while I was
awake, which might have been a few hours a day. This went on from November
21 to the middle of March. My family visited once, Christmas eve, cuz I
couldn't get out. You'd think awww how sweet huh? Well they told me, since
I couldn't go to them for Christmas, they'd come over there since I had the
biggest house anyway. You think they'd help clean for it? Cook? Clean up
After? No it was left to my kids and I, and i couldn't even eat what
everyone else was having, because of the treatments.
It was a horrible lonley time and I guess her getting cancer just reminded
me of all the support I DIDN'T get.
Jane
+*+*+*+*+*+*+
"I only please one person per day. Today is not your day and tomorrow
isn't looking good either."
"Jane" <jarsenal66nospam@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Vf6dnX_Jgt5RC_bYnZ2dnUVZ_u6dnZ2d@adelphia.com...
My mother has stage II Breast Cancer, they don't know how extensive it is
until after tomorrows surgery.
Seriously I feel bad but I know I should feel more concerned for her then
I do.
I have more anger over my own experiences with cancer. While I lay in
the hospital after finding out I have a malignant cancer, knowing I'll
have to have radiation in order to beat this, knowing I'm going to be
sick, knowing I'm going to have to struggle to be strong while going
through it, having to take care of my elementary and junior high kids and
doing it all ALONE without the comfort or support of my family...
Without visits at the hospital, without visits at my home, without
help... Out of work... Sick and alone...
Now my mother has cancer, my only sister, who is five years older then
me, is a basket case and I'm there for her, being strong, telling her
she'll be fine, and my kids are upset and I'm strong for them telling
them she'll be fine, and I'm there for my mother, telling her to stay
positive, that I truely believe if she believes she can beat it she will.
Yet I can't find it in my heart to feel anything but resentment...
.
|
|
|
| User: "used2be" |
|
| Title: Re: So much anger |
27 Nov 2006 09:59:48 PM |
|
|
"Jane" <jarsenal66nospam@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:pNGdnXbNN6udM_bYnZ2dnUVZ_tqdnZ2d@adelphia.com...
"used2be" <used2be@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:ItNah.4268$_H5.3716@tornado.texas.rr.com...
aw jane, why wasn't your family there for you? that just doesn't make
any sense and it's just not FAIR!!!!
:(
--
~u2b
I don't know hon, I was 50 minutes away at the time? Too much effort? I
got out on Thanksgiving day 2000, and my family couldn't even figure out a
meal for me.
There were so mamy times I wished I had just died in that damn hospital,
but I knew my kids regardless of how sick I was, would have had it much
worse if I wasn't there. They kept me going. They gave me the strength.
I would get up in the mornings, drive my daughter and son to school, come
home sleep all day, they would get home, wake me up, fix me something to
eat, do dishes, laundry, check the mail etc. Keep me company while I was
awake, which might have been a few hours a day. This went on from
November 21 to the middle of March. My family visited once, Christmas
eve, cuz I couldn't get out. You'd think awww how sweet huh? Well they
told me, since I couldn't go to them for Christmas, they'd come over there
since I had the biggest house anyway. You think they'd help clean for it?
Cook? Clean up After? No it was left to my kids and I, and i couldn't
even eat what everyone else was having, because of the treatments.
It was a horrible lonley time and I guess her getting cancer just reminded
me of all the support I DIDN'T get.
this just breaks my heart. i just can't believe your MOTHER would treat you
this way. :( no wonder you are having a really hard time working up any
sympathy!!!!
.
|
|
|
| User: "Jane" |
|
| Title: Re: So much anger |
28 Nov 2006 04:35:11 PM |
|
|
"used2be" <used2be@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:UuOah.4281$_H5.3621@tornado.texas.rr.com...
this just breaks my heart. i just can't believe your MOTHER would treat
you this way. :( no wonder you are having a really hard time working up
any sympathy!!!!
Thanks for listening to me whine... I seriously wasn't looking for
sympathy, just feeling off due to all of this.
.
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "mighty mouse" |
|
| Title: Re: So much anger |
28 Nov 2006 02:59:28 AM |
|
|
"Jane" <jarsenal66nospam@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:pNGdnXbNN6udM_bYnZ2dnUVZ_tqdnZ2d@adelphia.com...
"used2be" <used2be@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:ItNah.4268$_H5.3716@tornado.texas.rr.com...
aw jane, why wasn't your family there for you? that just doesn't make
any sense and it's just not FAIR!!!!
:(
--
~u2b
I don't know hon, I was 50 minutes away at the time? Too much effort? I
got out on Thanksgiving day 2000, and my family couldn't even figure out a
meal for me.
There were so mamy times I wished I had just died in that damn hospital,
but I knew my kids regardless of how sick I was, would have had it much
worse if I wasn't there. They kept me going. They gave me the strength.
I would get up in the mornings, drive my daughter and son to school, come
home sleep all day, they would get home, wake me up, fix me something to
eat, do dishes, laundry, check the mail etc. Keep me company while I was
awake, which might have been a few hours a day. This went on from
November 21 to the middle of March. My family visited once, Christmas
eve, cuz I couldn't get out. You'd think awww how sweet huh? Well they
told me, since I couldn't go to them for Christmas, they'd come over there
since I had the biggest house anyway. You think they'd help clean for it?
Cook? Clean up After? No it was left to my kids and I, and i couldn't
even eat what everyone else was having, because of the treatments.
It was a horrible lonley time and I guess her getting cancer just reminded
me of all the support I DIDN'T get.
Jane
Sounds to me like your rection is totally justified.
Don't be too hard on yourself Jane
Kylie
.
|
|
|
| User: "Jane" |
|
| Title: Re: So much anger |
28 Nov 2006 04:35:43 PM |
|
|
"mighty mouse" <kye_99@NOSPAMyahoo.com> wrote in message
news:ekgtp1$nlv$1@news.datemas.de...
"Jane" <jarsenal66nospam@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:pNGdnXbNN6udM_bYnZ2dnUVZ_tqdnZ2d@adelphia.com...
"used2be" <used2be@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:ItNah.4268$_H5.3716@tornado.texas.rr.com...
aw jane, why wasn't your family there for you? that just doesn't make
any sense and it's just not FAIR!!!!
:(
--
~u2b
I don't know hon, I was 50 minutes away at the time? Too much effort? I
got out on Thanksgiving day 2000, and my family couldn't even figure out
a meal for me.
There were so mamy times I wished I had just died in that damn hospital,
but I knew my kids regardless of how sick I was, would have had it much
worse if I wasn't there. They kept me going. They gave me the strength.
I would get up in the mornings, drive my daughter and son to school, come
home sleep all day, they would get home, wake me up, fix me something to
eat, do dishes, laundry, check the mail etc. Keep me company while I was
awake, which might have been a few hours a day. This went on from
November 21 to the middle of March. My family visited once, Christmas
eve, cuz I couldn't get out. You'd think awww how sweet huh? Well they
told me, since I couldn't go to them for Christmas, they'd come over
there since I had the biggest house anyway. You think they'd help clean
for it? Cook? Clean up After? No it was left to my kids and I, and i
couldn't even eat what everyone else was having, because of the
treatments.
It was a horrible lonley time and I guess her getting cancer just
reminded me of all the support I DIDN'T get.
Jane
Sounds to me like your rection is totally justified.
Don't be too hard on yourself Jane
Kylie
Yeah I'm trying not to, but it showed up at the office. My boss is cool.
.
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