| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Kenster" |
| Date: |
20 Mar 2005 08:54:56 PM |
| Object: |
Somewhat of an update |
First of all, I want to thank all of you who posted a reply to me with
such kind and thoughtful words. It was very nice of all of you to do.
I talked things over with my pdoc and we had a rather lengthy
conversation about a few things. I explained to her how I was feeling
and what was going on around the house. These are things that she is
already aware of as they are a constant for me off and on for several
years now. She was kind enough to do this over the phone for no
charge which really surprised me.
I explained to her that there is no need for the hospital as I am not
a danger to myself or others and the only thing accomplished by my
hospitalizations seems to be a few days of boredom at the most part
for me. I've been through so many med changes over the years that
there really isn't anything new to try and adjustments don't seem to
eleviate the issues I have.
To make a long story short I have decided to stick around my family
for awhile and try to talk my mother and father into helping me with
these evil forces and making them go away. I know my mother and
father will end up going with me wherever I go as they are only
interested in tormenting me and nobody else. I've asked them to help
me talk with the evil and beg it to leave so my family will be safe
once again. It doesn't seem fair for me to leave them when such bad
things are here that they have no idea how to handle.
Right now my beagle is aware of the evil and she is able to fend off
some of it by herself. She is able to protect the kids and my wife
from a lot of what the evil tries to do. Our Australian Sheppard is
young and doesn't understand much of this yet and the evil uses her to
some degree to spread itself around the house. I think my beagle is
teaching her though so things should improve in time. I feel sorry
for her because she has no idea she is being possesed and used in such
an evil way. I know I will leave my beagle here when I do decide to
leave so I can be sure there is still some measure of protection still
here once I am gone. She deserves a special place in all our hearts
for the great job she is doing at protecting her family.
I have installed plastic mattress pads on the mattresses in the house
so that the evil cannot come from underneath and be absorbed into the
body during sleep. My beagle has been spending a great deal of time
sleeping with my boys so I am quite alarmed that it may be making an
attempted to do this. I don't have the nerve to check the crawl space
though.
The evil that is within me is something that I have decided I will
have to live with. I have made a promise to my pdoc that I will talk
with her and my wife if the evil tries to do anything. My mom and dad
talk to me about the evil so I think they may know who it/they is/are.
They won't tell me anything about it though. I do know that it will
never leave me and there is no medicine made that can make it leave.
I have talked with a priest about the possibility of having an
exorcism done but haven't really pursued it beyond a talk. I'm not
much into that kind of religion and I'm really scared about what would
happen if I pissed it off.
Anyway, I'm sorry for the out of the way post and I'm not going
anywhere for a while. If it's okay with you guys I would still like
to post here while I'm still living here. I know that the things that
are with me do not make me a very good person to talk with but I hope
some of you can look beyond the things that are attached and would be
willing to just talk. Thanks again all of you for being so nice to
me.
Kenster
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