suicide is the answer

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Topic:	Sociology > Depression
User:	"Amy"
Date:	25 Oct 2003 11:17:22 AM
Object:	suicide is the answer

Well, I finally got the back the nastiest email from my friend's mom last
night. She got all mad and nasty just because I left a message on her
daughter's machine stating I was going to kill myself. But, she had sent an
email to my mom basically blaming me for all of my friend's problems. So, I
sent her an email back saying what I did and also asking her why she said
the things she did. So I felt that that was the end of it. I cannot deal
w/ this 3 ring circus anymore, all based on me and what I did. I feel like
all of this is my fault. If I hadn't done this or that... It is screaming
in my brain that things would be at least semi-normal if I had not done all
the things that I had done. So, I left a message on her mom's email stating
how I was going to do it. I also thanked her in an email for giving me the
perfect excuse to do it. Now, I just have to be brave enough to carry it
out. I am scared and I am feeling quite hopeless at this point that
anything will get any better. I just cannot do it anymore. I am so
emotionally and mentally exhausted I just cannot feel I can cope with
anything. I am supposedly in intense therapy but it seems like my therapist
sugar-coats everything. I cannot afford to go in-patient, though I wish I
could. I cant go until at least the first of the year, when my STD starts
up again at 100%, which by that time I feel I will be too late. I am so
depressed and so out of it I can barely think straight.
AMy
.

User: "owen"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer	26 Oct 2003 02:48:43 AM

"Amy" <bunnyladyus@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:slxmb.47085$W77.33984@bignews6.bellsouth.net...

email to my mom basically blaming me for all of my friend's problems. So,

sent her an email back saying what I did and also asking her why she said

<snip>
Why dont you stop bitching with your so called friend and her mum, forget
about them, and get on with YOUR life.
If you need a "way out" of your problems then why not try something more
pleasant. Just go away for awhile. Take a few weeks out. I reccomend
going somewhere near the sea. The sea is calming and helps you rationalise.
Which you need.
And before you do something stupid just think for a moment about your own
family and what it would do to them.
--
Owen
.

User: "Amy"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer	26 Oct 2003 06:56:39 AM

Personally, I think it would be a big relief to everyone I know. I am only
a burden to everyone and I can't seem to do anything right. Some folks have
told me that suicide is selfish, but in my honest opinion, it is not. It is
a way out of my intense pain that I feel. Besides, life will be better
w/out me. The world and life will go on. I am not that important.
"owen" <spam@spam.com> wrote in message
news:3f9b8a62$0$255$cc9e4d1f@news.dial.pipex.com...

"Amy" <bunnyladyus@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:slxmb.47085$W77.33984@bignews6.bellsouth.net...

Well, I finally got the back the nastiest email from my friend's mom

last

night. She got all mad and nasty just because I left a message on her
daughter's machine stating I was going to kill myself. But, she had

sent

email to my mom basically blaming me for all of my friend's problems.

So,

sent her an email back saying what I did and also asking her why she

said

rationalise.

Which you need.

And before you do something stupid just think for a moment about your own
family and what it would do to them.

--
Owen

User: "Faery :"
Title: Re: suicide is no answer	26 Oct 2003 10:12:48 AM

Amy wrote:
Dear Amy,
Well firstly, don't care about what other people think. Because in the
end, if they are not understanding, and if they make your life a pain,
or even if you feel like you don't get along with them, or nothing is
working, all the more reason not to die for them. The worst kind of
people, or the most ignorant people, are the people who don't take
people seriously when one threatens suicide, even on the worse of days,
no matter how bad you feel, try as hard as you can to keep your head
straight, just calm down, whatever you have to do, because it's a
desperate situation, and the if you can't feel any worse, it's usually a
major turning point, the only way to go is to go feel better, or die
trying.
Everybody else has their own problems, even if it looks like they've got
it made. Why should they blame you for this? You're a person too, just
like they are. Everybody makes mistakes, some people even go to jail
for their mistakes, or rehab, or get themselves into a mess. Somehow
they still don't feel like dying. And i know it's hard because you care
about everyone else, but if you care about everyone else, start caring
about yourself too. Be your own best friend. It's hard to find real
love, and hard to find real friends, so if you're really really
depressed and suicidal, start looking out for yourself. Even if you see
no options right now, just reach out to somebody, like you do here.
There's always going to be someone who can listen, and even if things
are really bad, there's always something that can happen that tips your
world upsidedown, for better or worse, so you have to ride the storm to
see.
Meanwhile, please take care of yourself.
I know, suicide can be really scary. It's really scary when the
thoughts dominate. Another way to find out what suicide really means,
is to talk to some people who have failed suicide, and talk to them
about how they feel now, and what it felt like to nearly die, and then
your whole perspective on life could change.
No matter what life is like now, things do change, albeit slowly. If
you can survive pain, whether that's physically or mentally, to the
brink of death, you have the ability to survive anything, so that's my
mantra. I'm in pain, i wanted to die, I couldn't find the right sword,
(could of bought one in Japan, our teacher didn't let us), hence im
still here. i think healing comes when ur the most desperate, so
continue living, even whilst feeling pain, but try to reach people who
care, and who have the ability to love people no matter what they are
facing.

"Amy" <bunnyladyus@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:slxmb.47085$W77.33984@bignews6.bellsouth.net...

Well, I finally got the back the nastiest email from my friend's mom

last

night. She got all mad and nasty just because I left a message on her
daughter's machine stating I was going to kill myself. But, she had

sent

email to my mom basically blaming me for all of my friend's problems.

So,

sent her an email back saying what I did and also asking her why she

said

rationalise.

Which you need.

And before you do something stupid just think for a moment about your own
family and what it would do to them.

--
Owen

User: "Back Pain Suffer"
Title: Re: suicide is no answer	26 Oct 2003 03:25:55 PM

On Mon, 27 Oct 2003 05:12:48 +1300, Faery :) wrote:
<SNIP>

"Amy" <bunnyladyus@yahoo.com> wrote in message

news:slxmb.47085$W77.33984@bignews6.bellsouth.net...

<SNIP>
Amy
Suicide is a PERMANENT solution to a TEMPORARY problem!
Not a solution that anyone should take, not even you. One thing you can do
is to get new friends, the ones you call friends now aren't friends. What I
have found to help me was to help others, I go to the hospital and give my
time to the old and the kids. I give out toys and candy to the kids I get
from stores that donate and flowers to the old people. It was hard at first
to get donations but I asked them to give me a chance and had the hospital
follow up to the donators with letters of thanks. It works give it a try!
BPS
--
Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember none of it
.

User: "Wrecking Ball"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer	26 Oct 2003 09:24:34 AM

Why are you a burden? OR more importantly why do you think you are a
burden? I have had thoughts like yours for a year--and I have somehow
held myself together I dont know how. Why dont you share a little
more--you have no idea how much I have shared on here! So explain your
pain, problems, etc. and let us talk to you and help you. Have you
talked to a pdoc? Now what are you going to do today to get your mind
off things?
Amy wrote:

"Amy" <bunnyladyus@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:slxmb.47085$W77.33984@bignews6.bellsouth.net...

Well, I finally got the back the nastiest email from my friend's mom

last

night. She got all mad and nasty just because I left a message on her
daughter's machine stating I was going to kill myself. But, she had

sent

email to my mom basically blaming me for all of my friend's problems.

So,

sent her an email back saying what I did and also asking her why she

said

rationalise.

Which you need.

And before you do something stupid just think for a moment about your own
family and what it would do to them.

--
Owen

User: "Amy"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer-my story-long	26 Oct 2003 03:55:50 PM

Hi again everyone,
Well, WB, I was going to get into my story, so please bear with me ;-)
Anyway, I feel like a am a burden b/c I seem to always affect people's
moods. My mom even told me that me talking about suicide to her is causing
her blood pressure to go up. I have talked to my pdoc, but I don't know if
he knows how much pain I am going thru now or if he can even do anything
about it. My previous therapist knows about my suicidal feelings and that
is why she recommended that I go into this DBT program. My new therapist
does indeed know about my suicidal feelings and she tells me that I guess if
I go to the hospital that it won't help me? I guess it sounds like it will
be considered an interuption in my therapy or something and that I won't get
better going to in-patient. But, when I called her Friday and she suggested
that I do something for myself, like a nice bath, etc..., I guess that would
help me be in the here and now and help me relax. She also made me promise
not to attempt suicide until I get to see her again (thursday), but that has
been so hard. There have been many moments where I just want to get on a
last-minute flight back home and just get it over with. But, I have to stay
here for now and continue to be in pain. By the way WB, I did go to Walmart
today and yesterday I went to a friend's house, so that helped with my mind.
Ok, here is my story. I will try to make it as short as possible, but it
may still be considered long, for which I apologize for. Anyway, the friend
that I have been speaking about lives in NY, which is where I am from. We
had been friends ever since high school. We are both in our early 30's.
She had gotten married about a year ago, which was hard for me to deal with,
b/c I felt like I was going to be abandoned. One of her pet peeves was that
I would call and let the phone ring and if nobody answered, I would hang up.
She asked me not to do that and for a while b/f I left I didn't. Then I
moved and we mainly emailed each other Anyway, due to a job relocation, I
had to move down to SC, which has been an extremely hard adjustment. I have
always had suicidal thoughts and have verbalized them to her. There was one
point where she actually just up and decided to not speak to me for a while,
and never bothered telling me. I had tried not to verbalize my suicidal
feelings, just my depressive feelings since I have been down here. Then,
she told me that she was going to start a family. I tried so hard to be
happy, but I could not. Again, I felt that I was going to be abandoned
totally. That is when I really broke down and had to enter one group
therapy program, when I told my pdoc how I was feeling. Anyway, real
problems started happening a few months ago when her mom decided to stick
her nose in her daughter's business. She started emailing me and accusing
me of dragging her down, depressing her etc....,which in turn left me
feeling even more suicidal. Then, things got a little better until a month
or so ago I had started (without thinking) calling her and hanging up w/out
leaving a message. She got real mad at me and yelled at me and when I
started to defend myself, she got mad and decided once again to stop
emailing me and requested that I not call her, which I have not except for a
couple times. Well, her mom and I started emailing each other back and
forth and I verbalized my feelings with her. Well, she got mad, scared,
whatever and had the nerve to email my mom. In the email to my mom she
again started to accuse me of "making" her daughter depressed. I got mad
and did something I regret doing a little but it hurt so much, but I did it
anyway. That is when I called my friend and left a message saying that I
was going to kill myself. I emailed her mom back asking her why she
basically backstabbed me (i felt she backstabbed me b/c she pretending to be
all nice and caring and all in her messages to me). She got so furious and
sent me an email basically stating that she no longer wanted me to contact
her or her daughter. Well, for one thing, her daughter is all grown now, my
friend is really the one that is allowed to tell me not to contact her.
That made me so mad and upset that I really did want to take my life.
But, instead, I ended up calling my friend's mom and leaving a suicidal
message on her machine and as well as a couple of emails stating that I was
going to do it and that she and my can dance on my grave (with happiness
that I am gone, that is), but just not in front of my mom. Then I told her
how I was going to do it. I told her I was going to cut my wrists until I
bled to death, no matter what. I then decided to tell her that I will keep
trying until I succeed. I don't give a damn what she thinks of me, although
I am sure she thinks I am some psycho. I probably am, which is a damn good
reason to leave this sorry-***** world. I just don't care anymore about
anything (at least most of the time-once in a while I have a twing guilt for
hurting others). I don't care, either of what others think of me. I have
had it. I know it may seem selfish, but like I said, I don't give a *****
anymore what others think. I need to think of myself now and how I am going
to get rid of this intense pain and emptiness that is inside of me. I
cannot deal with it. If folks think I am being selfish, then they can live
my life and see what it is like to have so much pain that it is intolerable.
I feel I have been through so much crap, I am emotionally and mentally
exhausted. I would gladly trade someone else's life if they think I have it
made, cause I don't. I feel that my life is so worthless that I would be
more than happy to trade places with someone who died on 9/11, b/c more than
likely, their life is worth a ton more than mine. I have no boyfriend and
barely any friends. I have never been one to easily make any friends and
only once has a guy ever even been attracted to me, if that. I would trade
for a lifetime of poverty if I only had a boyfriend. I don't care. At
least I would not be all alone.
Sorry to ramble on, I know many of you asked for a history of what was going
on. I know it is long, but believe it or not that is the short version :-)
Thanks for reading.
me
"Wrecking Ball" <j39s89384d@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:SGRmb.3668$X22.1423@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...

Personally, I think it would be a big relief to everyone I know. I am

only

a burden to everyone and I can't seem to do anything right. Some folks

have

told me that suicide is selfish, but in my honest opinion, it is not.

It is

a way out of my intense pain that I feel. Besides, life will be better
w/out me. The world and life will go on. I am not that important.
"owen" <spam@spam.com> wrote in message
news:3f9b8a62$0$255$cc9e4d1f@news.dial.pipex.com...

"Amy" <bunnyladyus@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:slxmb.47085$W77.33984@bignews6.bellsouth.net...

Well, I finally got the back the nastiest email from my friend's mom

last

night. She got all mad and nasty just because I left a message on her
daughter's machine stating I was going to kill myself. But, she had

sent

email to my mom basically blaming me for all of my friend's problems.

So,

sent her an email back saying what I did and also asking her why she

said

<snip>

Why dont you stop bitching with your so called friend and her mum,

forget

about them, and get on with YOUR life.

If you need a "way out" of your problems then why not try something more
pleasant. Just go away for awhile. Take a few weeks out. I reccomend
going somewhere near the sea. The sea is calming and helps you

rationalise.

Which you need.

And before you do something stupid just think for a moment about your

own

family and what it would do to them.

--
Owen

User: "Amy"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer-my story-long	26 Oct 2003 03:57:33 PM

By the way, this is the email I got back from her mom, nice,huh???
No Amy Sue has not talked to me since I opened your e-mail. As of this
moment I am done. What you did to my daughter with a threat of suicide is
unheard of. How could you? I am explaining nothing to you. How can you
threaten suicide and in the next paragraph say you want things back the way
they use to be and you are intense therapy. I am very angry amy do not
contact me or my daughter. I am not a game player. I wish you the best,
but Sue and I are not the one's to help you. Maybe some day things can be
the same but not until amy is not number 1 and you can relate to other
peoples feelings. Take care I will not take any phone calls or answer any
e-mails. Patti
"Amy" <bunnyladyus@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:LoXmb.56572$W77.11008@bignews6.bellsouth.net...

causing

her blood pressure to go up. I have talked to my pdoc, but I don't know

he knows how much pain I am going thru now or if he can even do anything
about it. My previous therapist knows about my suicidal feelings and that
is why she recommended that I go into this DBT program. My new therapist
does indeed know about my suicidal feelings and she tells me that I guess

I go to the hospital that it won't help me? I guess it sounds like it

will

be considered an interuption in my therapy or something and that I won't

get

better going to in-patient. But, when I called her Friday and she

suggested

that I do something for myself, like a nice bath, etc..., I guess that

would

help me be in the here and now and help me relax. She also made me

promise

not to attempt suicide until I get to see her again (thursday), but that

has

been so hard. There have been many moments where I just want to get on a
last-minute flight back home and just get it over with. But, I have to

stay

here for now and continue to be in pain. By the way WB, I did go to

Walmart

today and yesterday I went to a friend's house, so that helped with my

mind.

Ok, here is my story. I will try to make it as short as possible, but it
may still be considered long, for which I apologize for. Anyway, the

friend

that I have been speaking about lives in NY, which is where I am from. We
had been friends ever since high school. We are both in our early 30's.
She had gotten married about a year ago, which was hard for me to deal

with,

b/c I felt like I was going to be abandoned. One of her pet peeves was

that

I would call and let the phone ring and if nobody answered, I would hang

up.

She asked me not to do that and for a while b/f I left I didn't. Then I
moved and we mainly emailed each other Anyway, due to a job relocation, I
had to move down to SC, which has been an extremely hard adjustment. I

have

always had suicidal thoughts and have verbalized them to her. There was

one

point where she actually just up and decided to not speak to me for a

while,

and never bothered telling me. I had tried not to verbalize my suicidal
feelings, just my depressive feelings since I have been down here. Then,
she told me that she was going to start a family. I tried so hard to be
happy, but I could not. Again, I felt that I was going to be abandoned
totally. That is when I really broke down and had to enter one group
therapy program, when I told my pdoc how I was feeling. Anyway, real
problems started happening a few months ago when her mom decided to stick
her nose in her daughter's business. She started emailing me and accusing
me of dragging her down, depressing her etc....,which in turn left me
feeling even more suicidal. Then, things got a little better until a

month

or so ago I had started (without thinking) calling her and hanging up

w/out

leaving a message. She got real mad at me and yelled at me and when I
started to defend myself, she got mad and decided once again to stop
emailing me and requested that I not call her, which I have not except for

couple times. Well, her mom and I started emailing each other back and
forth and I verbalized my feelings with her. Well, she got mad, scared,
whatever and had the nerve to email my mom. In the email to my mom she
again started to accuse me of "making" her daughter depressed. I got mad
and did something I regret doing a little but it hurt so much, but I did

anyway. That is when I called my friend and left a message saying that I
was going to kill myself. I emailed her mom back asking her why she
basically backstabbed me (i felt she backstabbed me b/c she pretending to

all nice and caring and all in her messages to me). She got so furious

and

sent me an email basically stating that she no longer wanted me to contact
her or her daughter. Well, for one thing, her daughter is all grown now,

friend is really the one that is allowed to tell me not to contact her.
That made me so mad and upset that I really did want to take my life.

But, instead, I ended up calling my friend's mom and leaving a suicidal
message on her machine and as well as a couple of emails stating that I

was

going to do it and that she and my can dance on my grave (with happiness
that I am gone, that is), but just not in front of my mom. Then I told

her

how I was going to do it. I told her I was going to cut my wrists until I
bled to death, no matter what. I then decided to tell her that I will keep
trying until I succeed. I don't give a damn what she thinks of me,

although

I am sure she thinks I am some psycho. I probably am, which is a damn

good

reason to leave this sorry-***** world. I just don't care anymore about
anything (at least most of the time-once in a while I have a twing guilt

for

hurting others). I don't care, either of what others think of me. I have
had it. I know it may seem selfish, but like I said, I don't give a *****
anymore what others think. I need to think of myself now and how I am

going

to get rid of this intense pain and emptiness that is inside of me. I
cannot deal with it. If folks think I am being selfish, then they can

live

my life and see what it is like to have so much pain that it is

intolerable.

I feel I have been through so much crap, I am emotionally and mentally
exhausted. I would gladly trade someone else's life if they think I have

made, cause I don't. I feel that my life is so worthless that I would be
more than happy to trade places with someone who died on 9/11, b/c more

than

likely, their life is worth a ton more than mine. I have no boyfriend and
barely any friends. I have never been one to easily make any friends and
only once has a guy ever even been attracted to me, if that. I would

trade

for a lifetime of poverty if I only had a boyfriend. I don't care. At
least I would not be all alone.

Sorry to ramble on, I know many of you asked for a history of what was

going

on. I know it is long, but believe it or not that is the short version

:-)

Thanks for reading.

me

User: "Whiskers"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer-my story-long	26 Oct 2003 06:28:48 PM

In alt.support.depression on Sunday 26 Oct 2003 9:57 pm, Amy
<bunnyladyus@yahoo.com> wrote:
snip

Sorry to ramble on, I know many of you asked for a history of what was
going on. I know it is long, but believe it or not that is the short
version :-)

Thanks for reading.

me

Hello Amy :))
You are in a good bunch of people here in ASD; I'm glad to see that you came
back and started to communicate - that's a good idea, you know, just
talking to people. Doesn't matter /what/ we talk about, simply that we
/are/ talking. (You might have noticed, there isn't much we don't discuss
around here; there isn't much we don't disagree about either!).
So stick around for a bit, it can get quite interesting, even fun. That
other thing, the subject? Well, perhaps not today, hmm? It's one of those
things that can be put off, and put off, and put off, ... Prevarication can
be a handy thing at times ;))
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^ Interested in Citroens?
-- Whiskers <http://www.aacit.net>
-- ~~~~~~~~~~ <news:alt.autos.citroen>
.

User: "Jernau Gurgeh"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer	25 Oct 2003 12:39:10 PM

Amy wrote on 25 Oct 2003 in alt.support.depression
It's not. Really, it isn't.

Things can still get back to semi-normal. That might be hard to see from
where you are now, but they really can.

So, I left a message on her mom's email stating how
I was going to do it. I also thanked her in an email for giving me
the perfect excuse to do it.

BS, if this were the answer you wouldn't need an excuse for it. Another
person cannot be the validation for your decision in this, just as you
are not responsible for all of someone else's problems.

Now, I just have to be brave enough to
carry it out. I am scared and I am feeling quite hopeless at this
point that anything will get any better. I just cannot do it anymore.
I am so emotionally and mentally exhausted I just cannot feel I can
cope with anything. I am supposedly in intense therapy but it seems
like my therapist sugar-coats everything. I cannot afford to go
in-patient, though I wish I could. I cant go until at least the first
of the year, when my STD starts up again at 100%, which by that time I
feel I will be too late. I am so depressed and so out of it I can
barely think straight.

Sorry that you are so deep in the pits, but the one thing you must not do
is make decisions about life and death when you can't think straight
Have you talked to your therp about your feeling that he sugar coats
everything? Does he know you are this depressed?
And since you feel you might benefit from going in-patient, isn't there
way to achieve this for people who are in a crisis yet can't afford it? I
don't know anything about the US health system (I'm assuming you're in
the US), but maybe someone else here can shed light on that.
Hang in there, and don't do anything rash.
Jernau
--
By Endurance We Conquer
-E. Shackleton
.

User: "lisa in mass."
Title: Re: suicide is the answer	26 Oct 2003 10:03:01 AM

Amy wrote...

I cannot afford to go in-patient, though I wish I
could. I cant go until at least the first of the year,
when my STD starts up again at 100%, which by that time I
feel I will be too late.

most hospitals will (in fact, have to) at least help cover in-
patient treatment if the situation's life-threatening. call the
hospital and ask; there will be a person whose job it is to take
care of this. if you have to pay anything, it will be fairly
affordable.
have you told your therapist just how bad and suicidal you feel,
and that you need to be in-patient? maybe your therp could even
help with the calls.
good luck. hope you can get the help you need.
-lisa
.

User: "Wrecking Ball"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer	25 Oct 2003 09:22:33 PM

Amy wrote:

Amy I posted from another box about an hour ago but it did not seem to
go through. How about share some more with us? I know there must be more
than insults from your best friends mom that is affecting you. There is
no need to be hopeless---we all feel this way and we have dug deep
inside us to pull out hope. If your listening jump back on and talk a
bit ok? :)
.

User: "Criswell The Psychic Weatherman"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer	26 Oct 2003 08:42:20 PM

Amy wrote:

While nobody [except me] has really kept track, many years ago, there were quite
a few Amy's and it was rather difficult to remember which Amy was which. At one
time there were so many Amy's that I said that it seemed like an army of Amy's,
and so the Amy Army began. So, how can I refuse to respond to an Amy? While
everyone in your family is telling you that everything is your fault, I hope you
can recognize that not everything that happens in this world can be your faut,
and in fact, you only have control of at most yourself, and when the beast
inside roars, you don't even have that.
Suicides rarely succeed, and if you are lucky enough to not do any physical
damage to yourself, the grief of not even having control of the termination of
your life can drive you down deeper. Please don't. Please please please get
yourself some place safe. Hospitals can't refuse you if you need care. In many
places, that's the law.
a.s.d needs more Amy's. Please stay around for at least a few more days.
--
"A belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses;
it is an idea that possesses the mind." Robert Bolton
Criswell The Psychic Weatherman
ssenate@mindless.com
.

User: "Tracy Barber"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer	25 Oct 2003 11:40:49 AM

On Sat, 25 Oct 2003 12:17:22 -0400, "Amy" <bunnyladyus@yahoo.com>
wrote:

You may think you have your reasons. You aren't exactly thinking
straight here. You said it yourself.
You are not the reason for your friend's problems. they have to take
responsibility for themselves. Who truly cares about your friend's
mom and her nasty 'tude. Maybe at one time you thought she was a
respectful person, who knows.
Could you handle it if your pdoc / therp didn't sugar coat things?
Sounds like you have a pile on your head right now. Could be very
simply he doesn't want to feed you more than you can handle.
How about taking time off of these other worldly type things and do
something good for yourself today? Buy yourself a rose, see a funny
movie (not a depressing one), go out and buy yourself dinner (without
pigging out, of course) or something along those lines.
Give it some time for the smoke to clear, the veil to lift and so that
you're thinking a little clearer.
If that fails, how about an emergency appt. with your therp / pdoc or
even the ER? There's no sense pulling the plug because other people
are "making" you do it. Join the rest of us who have realized that
and are here today because we thought it through and really wanted to
live.
Sounds like you do, otherwise you wouldn't have posted to the ng
looking for support. We're here because we've been in the same boat -
maybe different town - but same boat.
Tracy Barber
.

User: "Teilhard Knight"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer	25 Oct 2003 05:16:09 PM

How about taking time off of these other worldly type things and do
something good for yourself today? Buy yourself a rose, see a funny
movie (not a depressing one), go out and buy yourself dinner (without
pigging out, of course) or something along those lines.

Give it some time for the smoke to clear, the veil to lift and so that
you're thinking a little clearer.

This twit claims to have tried suicide several times and doesn't even know
what is to be suicidal.
--
Teilhard Knight
The Extraterrestrial
Who ate my sandwich?
.

User: "Deminimii"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer	25 Oct 2003 09:07:44 PM

Subject: Re: suicide is the answer
From: "Teilhard Knight"

Date: 10/25/2003 3:16 PM Pacific Daylight Time
Message-id: <bnesnc$10kino$1@ID-140630.news.uni-berlin.de>

This twit claims to have tried suicide several times and doesn't even know
what is to be suicidal.

--
Teilhard Knight
The Extraterrestrial

Who ate my sandwich?

Nice. Very nice. You have a young woman who by all appearances is extremely ill
and all you can come up with is an insult.
.

User: "Teilhard Knight"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer	25 Oct 2003 09:34:26 PM

"Deminimii" <deminimii@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20031025220744.03579.00000108@mb-m19.aol.com...

Subject: Re: suicide is the answer
From: "Teilhard Knight"

Date: 10/25/2003 3:16 PM Pacific Daylight Time
Message-id: <bnesnc$10kino$1@ID-140630.news.uni-berlin.de>

This twit claims to have tried suicide several times and doesn't even

know

what is to be suicidal.

--
Teilhard Knight
The Extraterrestrial

Who ate my sandwich?

Nice. Very nice. You have a young woman who by all appearances is

extremely ill

and all you can come up with is an insult.

I do not answer the girl herself because I do not have enough elements for a
proper assessment of the situation, or I do not find them in her post. When
I help is because I get some clear clues of what goes on. And to explain you
properly why I have not done this time would not be helpful to the girl.
About the Barber, I just get annoyed that people who doesn't really
understand, feel in position to say whatever idiocy they imagine. Besides,
believe me, this "insult" tells a lot to the girl and contributes something.
--
Teilhard Knight
The Extraterrestrial
Who ate my sandwich?
.

User: "Deminimii"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer	25 Oct 2003 10:01:03 PM

Subject: Re: suicide is the answer
From: "Teilhard Knight"

Date: 10/25/2003 7:34 PM Pacific Daylight Time
Message-id: <bnfbsf$10pbtb$1@ID-140630.news.uni-berlin.de>

"Deminimii" <deminimii@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20031025220744.03579.00000108@mb-m19.aol.com...

Subject: Re: suicide is the answer
From: "Teilhard Knight"

Date: 10/25/2003 3:16 PM Pacific Daylight Time
Message-id: <bnesnc$10kino$1@ID-140630.news.uni-berlin.de>

This twit claims to have tried suicide several times and doesn't even

know

what is to be suicidal.

--
Teilhard Knight
The Extraterrestrial

Who ate my sandwich?

Nice. Very nice. You have a young woman who by all appearances is

extremely ill

and all you can come up with is an insult.

I do not answer the girl herself because I do not have enough elements for a
proper assessment of the situation, or I do not find them in her post.

Your continue use of "girl" is condescending. And no, it does not matter that
she may be young enough to be your daughter. She's not your family and you use
it without any pretense of familial affection.
When

I help is because I get some clear clues of what goes on.

If you have nothing constructive to say, you can always choose to say nothing.
And to explain you

properly why I have not done this time would not be helpful to the girl.
About the Barber, I just get annoyed that people who doesn't really
understand, feel in position to say whatever idiocy they imagine.

What ever you think of Tracey or what he posted, he did post with the best
intentions.
Besides,

believe me, this "insult" tells a lot to the girl and contributes something.

No, I don't believe you and no one else will, either. From your initial post,
no one could tell you weren't directing your comments at Amy. The fact that
you weren't, makes your post no less inappropriate. And don't pretend your
comment had any value for Amy or for anyone else, let alone make any sense.
You want to fight with Tracey, be my guest. He can handle it. But there is a
time and place for everything and this was not it.

Who ate my sandwich?

User: "Teilhard Knight"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer	25 Oct 2003 10:41:41 PM

"Deminimii" <deminimii@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20031025230103.03579.00000111@mb-m19.aol.com...

Subject: Re: suicide is the answer
From: "Teilhard Knight"

Date: 10/25/2003 3:16 PM Pacific Daylight Time
Message-id: <bnesnc$10kino$1@ID-140630.news.uni-berlin.de>

How about taking time off of these other worldly type things and do
something good for yourself today? Buy yourself a rose, see a funny
movie (not a depressing one), go out and buy yourself dinner

(without

pigging out, of course) or something along those lines.

Give it some time for the smoke to clear, the veil to lift and so

that

you're thinking a little clearer.

This twit claims to have tried suicide several times and doesn't even

know

what is to be suicidal.

--
Teilhard Knight
The Extraterrestrial

Who ate my sandwich?

Nice. Very nice. You have a young woman who by all appearances is

extremely ill

and all you can come up with is an insult.

I do not answer the girl herself because I do not have enough elements

for a

proper assessment of the situation, or I do not find them in her post.

Your continue use of "girl" is condescending. And no, it does not matter

that

she may be young enough to be your daughter. She's not your family and you

use

it without any pretense of familial affection.

I do not see what's wrong with calling the poster a girl. It is not
condescending although you say it. I really do not know what is your point
here.

When

I help is because I get some clear clues of what goes on.

If you have nothing constructive to say, you can always choose to say

nothing.
I am sure you do not want me to act here according with your idea of what is
constructive. And I know what to say or not say, I do not need you to
decide.

And to explain you

properly why I have not done this time would not be helpful to the girl.

About the Barber, I just get annoyed that people who doesn't really
understand, feel in position to say whatever idiocy they imagine.

What ever you think of Tracey or what he posted, he did post with the best
intentions.

Besides,

believe me, this "insult" tells a lot to the girl and contributes

something.

No, I don't believe you and no one else will,

Well, this kind of arrogance in assuming what other people will think is
just rubbish. You do not believe me, I can live with that, but do not
appoint yourself as the truth holder.
either. From your initial post,

no one could tell you weren't directing your comments at Amy.

Well, I am sorry you get confused this way, but others just look at the post
before and notice who one is speaking to. Besides there was an extract of
the Barber's post.
The fact that

you weren't, makes your post no less inappropriate.

I do not agree.
And don't pretend your

comment had any value for Amy or for anyone else, let alone make any

sense.
There you are again assuming you are the truth holder. If you do not see
anything of value there it doesn't mean it is not there. And I say unmasking
the deceivers is always positive.

You want to fight with Tracey, be my guest. He can handle it. But there is

time and place for everything and this was not it.

Now you are pissing me off with those kind of assertions like the last one.
Bear in mind you are you one more here and you are not entitled to decide
what is the right moment or not. Next time you address me expressing YOUR
point of view, I am not interested in you as the absolute truth owner.
--
Teilhard Knight
The Extraterrestrial
Who ate my sandwich?
.

User: "Teilhard Knight"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer	25 Oct 2003 10:42:12 PM

"Deminimii" <deminimii@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20031025230103.03579.00000111@mb-m19.aol.com...

Subject: Re: suicide is the answer
From: "Teilhard Knight"

Date: 10/25/2003 3:16 PM Pacific Daylight Time
Message-id: <bnesnc$10kino$1@ID-140630.news.uni-berlin.de>

How about taking time off of these other worldly type things and do
something good for yourself today? Buy yourself a rose, see a funny
movie (not a depressing one), go out and buy yourself dinner

(without

pigging out, of course) or something along those lines.

Give it some time for the smoke to clear, the veil to lift and so

that

you're thinking a little clearer.

This twit claims to have tried suicide several times and doesn't even

know

what is to be suicidal.

--
Teilhard Knight
The Extraterrestrial

Who ate my sandwich?

Nice. Very nice. You have a young woman who by all appearances is

extremely ill

and all you can come up with is an insult.

I do not answer the girl herself because I do not have enough elements

for a

proper assessment of the situation, or I do not find them in her post.

Your continue use of "girl" is condescending. And no, it does not matter

that

she may be young enough to be your daughter. She's not your family and you

use

it without any pretense of familial affection.

I do not see what's wrong with calling the poster a girl. It is not
condescending although you say it. I really do not know what is your point
here.

When

I help is because I get some clear clues of what goes on.

If you have nothing constructive to say, you can always choose to say

nothing.
I am sure you do not want me to act here according with your idea of what is
constructive. And I know what to say or not say, I do not need you to
decide.

And to explain you

properly why I have not done this time would not be helpful to the girl.

About the Barber, I just get annoyed that people who doesn't really
understand, feel in position to say whatever idiocy they imagine.

What ever you think of Tracey or what he posted, he did post with the best
intentions.

Besides,

believe me, this "insult" tells a lot to the girl and contributes

something.

No, I don't believe you and no one else will,

no one could tell you weren't directing your comments at Amy.

Well, I am sorry you get confused this way, but others just look at the post
before and notice who one is speaking to. Besides there was an extract of
the Barber's post.
The fact that

you weren't, makes your post no less inappropriate.

I do not agree.
And don't pretend your

comment had any value for Amy or for anyone else, let alone make any

sense.
There you are again assuming you are the truth holder. If you do not see
anything of value there it doesn't mean it is not there. And I say unmasking
the deceivers is always positive.

You want to fight with Tracey, be my guest. He can handle it. But there is

time and place for everything and this was not it.

User: "Tracy Barber"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer	25 Oct 2003 10:11:05 PM

On 26 Oct 2003 03:01:03 GMT,

(Deminimii) wrote:

Subject: Re: suicide is the answer
From: "Teilhard Knight"

Date: 10/25/2003 7:34 PM Pacific Daylight Time
Message-id: <bnfbsf$10pbtb$1@ID-140630.news.uni-berlin.de>

"Deminimii" <

> wrote in message
news:20031025220744.03579.00000108@mb-m19.aol.com...

Subject: Re: suicide is the answer
From: "Teilhard Knight"

Date: 10/25/2003 3:16 PM Pacific Daylight Time
Message-id: <bnesnc$10kino$1@ID-140630.news.uni-berlin.de>

This twit claims to have tried suicide several times and doesn't even

know

what is to be suicidal.

--
Teilhard Knight
The Extraterrestrial

Who ate my sandwich?

Nice. Very nice. You have a young woman who by all appearances is

extremely ill

and all you can come up with is an insult.

I do not answer the girl herself because I do not have enough elements for a
proper assessment of the situation, or I do not find them in her post.

I help is because I get some clear clues of what goes on.

If you have nothing constructive to say, you can always choose to say nothing.

And to explain you

properly why I have not done this time would not be helpful to the girl.

About the Barber, I just get annoyed that people who doesn't really
understand, feel in position to say whatever idiocy they imagine.

What ever you think of Tracey or what he posted, he did post with the best
intentions.

Besides,

believe me, this "insult" tells a lot to the girl and contributes something.

No, I don't believe you and no one else will, either. From your initial post,
no one could tell you weren't directing your comments at Amy. The fact that
you weren't, makes your post no less inappropriate. And don't pretend your
comment had any value for Amy or for anyone else, let alone make any sense.

You want to fight with Tracey, be my guest. He can handle it. But there is a
time and place for everything and this was not it.

You are right. I shouldn't have replied here, but called him out on
the floor. My bad... :^(
Hopefully, this won't detract from her realizing that these things
happen. :^(
Tracy Barber
.

User: "Wrecking Ball"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer	25 Oct 2003 10:15:16 PM

Tracy Barber wrote:

On 26 Oct 2003 03:01:03 GMT,

(Deminimii) wrote:

Subject: Re: suicide is the answer
From: "Teilhard Knight"

Date: 10/25/2003 7:34 PM Pacific Daylight Time
Message-id: <bnfbsf$10pbtb$1@ID-140630.news.uni-berlin.de>

"Deminimii" <

> wrote in message
news:20031025220744.03579.00000108@mb-m19.aol.com...

Subject: Re: suicide is the answer
From: "Teilhard Knight"

Date: 10/25/2003 3:16 PM Pacific Daylight Time
Message-id: <bnesnc$10kino$1@ID-140630.news.uni-berlin.de>

This twit claims to have tried suicide several times and doesn't even

know

what is to be suicidal.

--
Teilhard Knight
The Extraterrestrial

Who ate my sandwich?

Nice. Very nice. You have a young woman who by all appearances is

extremely ill

and all you can come up with is an insult.

I do not answer the girl herself because I do not have enough elements for a
proper assessment of the situation, or I do not find them in her post.

I help is because I get some clear clues of what goes on.

If you have nothing constructive to say, you can always choose to say nothing.

And to explain you

properly why I have not done this time would not be helpful to the girl.

About the Barber, I just get annoyed that people who doesn't really
understand, feel in position to say whatever idiocy they imagine.

What ever you think of Tracey or what he posted, he did post with the best
intentions.

Besides,

believe me, this "insult" tells a lot to the girl and contributes something.

No, I don't believe you and no one else will, either. From your initial post,
no one could tell you weren't directing your comments at Amy. The fact that
you weren't, makes your post no less inappropriate. And don't pretend your
comment had any value for Amy or for anyone else, let alone make any sense.

You want to fight with Tracey, be my guest. He can handle it. But there is a
time and place for everything and this was not it.

You are right. I shouldn't have replied here, but called him out on
the floor. My bad... :^(

Hopefully, this won't detract from her realizing that these things
happen. :^(

Tracy Barber

Hopefully she is out of the house maybe at a coffeeshop reflecting. She
was on here a week or so ago if you remember. I hope she comes back and
opens up a bit. I really do.
.

User: "Tracy Barber"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer	25 Oct 2003 10:18:05 PM

On Sun, 26 Oct 2003 03:15:16 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:

Tracy Barber wrote:

On 26 Oct 2003 03:01:03 GMT,

(Deminimii) wrote:

Subject: Re: suicide is the answer
From: "Teilhard Knight"

Date: 10/25/2003 7:34 PM Pacific Daylight Time
Message-id: <bnfbsf$10pbtb$1@ID-140630.news.uni-berlin.de>

"Deminimii" <

> wrote in message
news:20031025220744.03579.00000108@mb-m19.aol.com...

Subject: Re: suicide is the answer
From: "Teilhard Knight"

Date: 10/25/2003 3:16 PM Pacific Daylight Time
Message-id: <bnesnc$10kino$1@ID-140630.news.uni-berlin.de>

This twit claims to have tried suicide several times and doesn't even

know

what is to be suicidal.

--
Teilhard Knight
The Extraterrestrial

Who ate my sandwich?

Nice. Very nice. You have a young woman who by all appearances is

extremely ill

and all you can come up with is an insult.

I do not answer the girl herself because I do not have enough elements for a
proper assessment of the situation, or I do not find them in her post.

I help is because I get some clear clues of what goes on.

If you have nothing constructive to say, you can always choose to say nothing.

And to explain you

properly why I have not done this time would not be helpful to the girl.

About the Barber, I just get annoyed that people who doesn't really
understand, feel in position to say whatever idiocy they imagine.

What ever you think of Tracey or what he posted, he did post with the best
intentions.

Besides,

believe me, this "insult" tells a lot to the girl and contributes something.

No, I don't believe you and no one else will, either. From your initial post,
no one could tell you weren't directing your comments at Amy. The fact that
you weren't, makes your post no less inappropriate. And don't pretend your
comment had any value for Amy or for anyone else, let alone make any sense.

You want to fight with Tracey, be my guest. He can handle it. But there is a
time and place for everything and this was not it.

You are right. I shouldn't have replied here, but called him out on
the floor. My bad... :^(

Hopefully, this won't detract from her realizing that these things
happen. :^(

Tracy Barber

Hopefully she is out of the house maybe at a coffeeshop reflecting. She
was on here a week or so ago if you remember. I hope she comes back and
opens up a bit. I really do.

Yup. I posted to her back than also. Sad when the hit and run people
make their entrance. And then don't return. You do wonder about
them.
Tracy Barber
.

User: "Wrecking Ball"
Title: Re: suicide is the answer	25 Oct 2003 10:21:01 PM