Hi All,
New to the group, though I've been somewhat of a lurker as of late. Today my
neighbor attempted suicide from jumping out of the second story window onto
the pavement. I just heard a thump and then all this moaning. I immediately
ran outside to see what was going on (along with a few other people in the
building), and I saw Chris lying there on the pavement, bleeding profusely
from his head and also bleeding from the eyes and mouth. He had clearly hit
his head on the pavement and it was at least a fall of 20 feet. It wasn't
like he just fell out the window by accident. He had to make a conscious
effort to climb out onto the deck and then jump. I guess the reason I am
posting any of this is just get it out of my system. It's a helpless feeling
you get when you know you could have done something to prevent this from
happening. Even though we say hi to each other, we aren't friends per se,
but he knows me enough to understand that I would have opened my door and
listened to him and help him in any way I could if I had been given the
chance. I am not blaming myself but merely reflecting on the fact that I
could have been more useful than holding his hand until the paramedics
arrived. I hope that small action gave him some comfort. I'm pretty sure it
could because he held it tightly and recognized my voice. They ended up
bringing him the the brain trauma hospital which is about 20 minutes away.
He is in my thoughts and prayers tonight...
This event today enlightened me to some of what was going on inside myself.
I'm not sure of his diagnosis but I have had depression/anxiety disorder for
the better part of my 32 years. Been on meds and currently am taking 6
different things that hopefully will work in conjunction with each other to
stabalize my symptoms. I'm torn between the relief that I may receive from
this cocktail of drugs and the constant nagging voice that wants to be off
medication completely. Does anyone else experience this? I mean, I'm pretty
fricken sick of not having a sex drive, and of having my memory have more
holes than a hunk of swiss cheese. I mean really.. when do you draw the line
with this stuff? I have an excellent doctor to work with so I know I am
fortunate in that regard. Ok, I guess I'm just writing this to vent a bit
and share some of my own experiences and maybe gain a penpal of two with any
words of wisdom.
Thanks for reading this...
Kimberly