And that guy on the exploding toilet.

We're looking at buying a new house. One that will fit us, and my wife's
mom, a dog, and visitors. Here, that means an absurd amount of money. And
so it makes me think about things. What if the bubble bursts? Maybe we
should sell our house, wait for the bubble to burst, and then buy. But we
need the house now. Just buy it then, and hang on? The heck with it. If
the real estate market's up, and the stock market's down, buy stocks, not
real estate. Buy on the cannons, sell on the trumpets.

Stuff like that.

At some point, there was a pause in all of that, and I wondered what deals
Johnnie Cochran was thinking about when he got his brain tumor diagnosis.

Remember the old science fiction cliche that everything would be different
if one thing were changed? I used to subscribe to that, still do, I guess,
but it doesn't seem to have much traction in the things that are important
to people. What continuing difference to things does Johnnie Cochran make?
It's almost as though he never existed.

"Not with a bang but with a whimper."

Enter John Jenkins of exploding portable toilet fame. Apparently, he was
sitting on the throne, whipped out his lighter, fired that sucker up, and
instantly blew off all the walls and roof of said portable toilet in a
gaesous fireball. Presumably leaving him still sitting there, lighter in
hand, face blackened and tendrils of smoke lifting from his hair.

I wonder when the thought formed itself, "Hey--I could sue for this!"--if it
was when he was still sitting there, drawers around his ankles, looking at
his lighter and trying to figure out if he should give that cigarette
another shot.

Of course, that gives him an exceedingly generous benefit of the doubt. It
seems that methane lines had been crushed, causing methane gas to escape,
and that it was that very methane gas that lit itself in place of his
cigarette. Possible, I guess, but that self-same John Jenkins was an
employee of the self-same methane company responsible for the negligently
supervised methane lines that caused the grievous damage to John Jenkins'
portable toilet.

Kinda makes you wonder. Did said John Jenkins and his 19 year younger wife
dream up the idea of blowing up said John Jenkins for insurance money?

It seems that suit is also being brought by said 19 year younger spouse.
She must be claiming loss of consortium, which is an oblique way of saying,
she isn't getting any. 'Course, how much could she have been getting
anyhow, from a 53 year old smoker, living a couple of States away? If it
was a scheme, it's tempting to think that it got pushed over the top, maybe,
because said 19 year younger wife was thinking 10 million would split better
one way than two.

I wonder if that thought went through John Jenkins' head, too, as he sat
there in that fireball.

"Holy crap!" he must have thought. "This was supposed to be no more than a
little fart of an explosion....On the other hand, maybe we can get more for
now...I wonder if this thing will still light..."

Not with a pop but with a bang.