Who Cares <WC@asda.cac> wrote in message

hits me really hard when Im lonely. Even for a few hours. Today

because I was talking to an old friend about my ex and i discovered that

doesn't know about it.

Now .. that threw me off a little .. because we 3 were mutual friends.

begun doubting the news that my ex is dead. I dont know why .. its

a sick story cooked up by a sick mind. That guy probably just didn't

about it .. or maybe he didn't hear about it because it never happened.
When I think about it .. other than that 1 email I got 8 months ago, I

no proof. no obituary .. no tributes .. nothing .. just a cold
notification.

My head is spinning right now .. and my heart is racing. Its an

wave of emotions that i dont think i'll be able to control much longer.
I've been scanning the net for traces of her for the past 2 hours .. she
doesn't have a common name so the search has brought up her name on a
couple of her old university web-sites .. one of them as recent as 2002

that would've been her 2nd year ..But no email .. no way of contacting

I feel like a stalker, and I feel like a sick, obsessed, sad individual

but I don't think Im really to blame .. what if the news really was fake
..? but then, why would somebody do such a thing ..? at the same time,

afraid of what I might find out .. under both circumstances.

You should find out. It's already upsetting to you, and not knowing
for sure is obviously triggering you big time. Spend the money and
find out, think of it as purchasing a little closure, or at least the
hope of closure. As it stands now, you can't have closure because you
aren't completely sure it's over.

Bobbie



Is fear in control of your mind? Or is your mind in control of fear?