| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Wrecking Ball" |
| Date: |
19 Oct 2003 08:19:20 AM |
| Object: |
This morning shittier than yesterday |
I dont like this trend.
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| User: "Wotan" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
20 Oct 2003 07:55:02 AM |
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"Wrecking Ball" <j39s89384d@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:sbwkb.3722$W16.2614@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...
I dont like this trend.
In my "life", there is no trend. Every day is as shitty as the previous one.
Days, weeks, years pass - empty and meaningless.
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| User: "sabra" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 05:02:03 PM |
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Hey, my friend, you back from your drive yet?
You might try the meds. If you don't like what they do, you can
talk to the doc, can't you?. I'd say, go ahead, play your
options.
I hope you're feeling better.
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
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| User: "Wrecking Ball" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 05:13:27 PM |
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sabra wrote:
Hey, my friend, you back from your drive yet?
You might try the meds. If you don't like what they do, you can
talk to the doc, can't you?. I'd say, go ahead, play your
options.
I hope you're feeling better.
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
Yeah I am back. This may sound unbelievable but I passed my ex at an
intersection---no I didnt swerve :) Yeah I am going to start my meds
next week. I am going to knock some important stuff out at work first in
case I need a couple of days to adjust to this stuff. How are you
feeling----I imagine pretty jiggy after you got the lights done :)
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| User: "sabra" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 06:12:16 PM |
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Yeah I am back. This may sound unbelievable but I passed my ex at an
intersection---no I didnt swerve :)
Nice control. ;-)
Yeah I am going to start my meds
next week. I am going to knock some important stuff out at work first
in case I need a couple of days to adjust to this stuff.
Good plan. I'm not sure I would have thought it through that
well.
How are you
feeling----I imagine pretty jiggy after you got the lights done :)
Yeah, I'm pleased. It took six hours, non-stop. Most of the time
in the attic: dark, cramped, sweaty, carcinogenic (I'm sure)
insulation fibers -- yada, yada, yada.
Physically, I'm hurtin'. But, getting past that fear of screwing
it up, and having a nice result is a real emotional high.
I really hope next week and the meds work for you. Will you keep
me posted? (Have you tried to send me any email?)
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
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| User: "Wrecking Ball" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 06:22:44 PM |
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sabra wrote:
Yeah I am back. This may sound unbelievable but I passed my ex at an
intersection---no I didnt swerve :)
Nice control. ;-)
Yeah I am going to start my meds
next week. I am going to knock some important stuff out at work first
in case I need a couple of days to adjust to this stuff.
Good plan. I'm not sure I would have thought it through that
well.
How are you
feeling----I imagine pretty jiggy after you got the lights done :)
Yeah, I'm pleased. It took six hours, non-stop. Most of the time
in the attic: dark, cramped, sweaty, carcinogenic (I'm sure)
insulation fibers -- yada, yada, yada.
Physically, I'm hurtin'. But, getting past that fear of screwing
it up, and having a nice result is a real emotional high.
I really hope next week and the meds work for you. Will you keep
me posted? (Have you tried to send me any email?)
Yes I just sent you two emails actually. You hopefully you just have a
good soreness going for you. I will keep you posted for sure on the
meds. What is your next house project! :)
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| User: "Tracy Barber" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 06:24:19 PM |
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On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 22:13:27 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
sabra wrote:
Hey, my friend, you back from your drive yet?
You might try the meds. If you don't like what they do, you can
talk to the doc, can't you?. I'd say, go ahead, play your
options.
I hope you're feeling better.
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
Yeah I am back. This may sound unbelievable but I passed my ex at an
intersection---no I didnt swerve :) Yeah I am going to start my meds
next week. I am going to knock some important stuff out at work first in
case I need a couple of days to adjust to this stuff. How are you
feeling----I imagine pretty jiggy after you got the lights done :)
Could have at least tossed some hot peppers her way...
Tracy Barber
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| User: "sabra" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 07:45:33 PM |
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Could have at least tossed some hot peppers her way...
There was a time. I lived in NM. Nothing better than Hatch green
chilli!
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
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| User: "Tracy Barber" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 07:45:28 PM |
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On 20 Oct 2003 00:45:33 -0000,
(sabra) wrote:
Could have at least tossed some hot peppers her way...
There was a time. I lived in NM. Nothing better than Hatch green
chilli!
Wazzat? Really hot stuff, or what? I have a tought time with the
skull and crossbones level of hotness.
Tracy Barber
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| User: "sabra" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 08:30:41 PM |
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There was a time. I lived in NM. Nothing better than Hatch green
chilli!
Wazzat? Really hot stuff, or what? I have a tought time with the
skull and crossbones level of hotness.
It's pretty hot stuff. I think that it's technically an "Anaheim
Green Chilli," but there's something about the NM soil. HOT, but
better flavor than jalapenos. Some folks say they get addicted
to the pain endorphins . . . =)
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
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| User: "Tracy Barber" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 09:38:52 PM |
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On 20 Oct 2003 01:30:41 -0000,
(sabra) wrote:
There was a time. I lived in NM. Nothing better than Hatch green
chilli!
Wazzat? Really hot stuff, or what? I have a tought time with the
skull and crossbones level of hotness.
It's pretty hot stuff. I think that it's technically an "Anaheim
Green Chilli," but there's something about the NM soil. HOT, but
better flavor than jalapenos. Some folks say they get addicted
to the pain endorphins . . . =)
hehehehe... accompanied by massive sweats? :^)
Tracy Barber
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| User: "Wrecking Ball" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 06:25:43 PM |
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Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 22:13:27 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
sabra wrote:
Hey, my friend, you back from your drive yet?
You might try the meds. If you don't like what they do, you can
talk to the doc, can't you?. I'd say, go ahead, play your
options.
I hope you're feeling better.
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
Yeah I am back. This may sound unbelievable but I passed my ex at an
intersection---no I didnt swerve :) Yeah I am going to start my meds
next week. I am going to knock some important stuff out at work first in
case I need a couple of days to adjust to this stuff. How are you
feeling----I imagine pretty jiggy after you got the lights done :)
Could have at least tossed some hot peppers her way...
Tracy Barber
I would have aimed for the bullseye too.
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| User: "Tracy Barber" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 06:51:10 PM |
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On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 23:25:43 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 22:13:27 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
sabra wrote:
Hey, my friend, you back from your drive yet?
You might try the meds. If you don't like what they do, you can
talk to the doc, can't you?. I'd say, go ahead, play your
options.
I hope you're feeling better.
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
Yeah I am back. This may sound unbelievable but I passed my ex at an
intersection---no I didnt swerve :) Yeah I am going to start my meds
next week. I am going to knock some important stuff out at work first in
case I need a couple of days to adjust to this stuff. How are you
feeling----I imagine pretty jiggy after you got the lights done :)
Could have at least tossed some hot peppers her way...
Tracy Barber
I would have aimed for the bullseye too.
Duck! Fire in the hole! :^P
Tracy Barber
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| User: "Wrecking Ball" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 07:01:21 PM |
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Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 23:25:43 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 22:13:27 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
sabra wrote:
Hey, my friend, you back from your drive yet?
You might try the meds. If you don't like what they do, you can
talk to the doc, can't you?. I'd say, go ahead, play your
options.
I hope you're feeling better.
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
Yeah I am back. This may sound unbelievable but I passed my ex at an
intersection---no I didnt swerve :) Yeah I am going to start my meds
next week. I am going to knock some important stuff out at work first in
case I need a couple of days to adjust to this stuff. How are you
feeling----I imagine pretty jiggy after you got the lights done :)
Could have at least tossed some hot peppers her way...
Tracy Barber
I would have aimed for the bullseye too.
Duck! Fire in the hole! :^P
Tracy Barber
You got it! A Scotch Bonnet in the flower would even things out a bit.
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| User: "Tracy Barber" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 01:24:16 PM |
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On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 13:19:20 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
I dont like this trend.
Repeat after me: Zoloft.
Tracy Barber
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| User: "Wrecking Ball" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 05:10:11 PM |
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Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 13:19:20 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
I dont like this trend.
Repeat after me: Zoloft.
Tracy Barber
Yeah I am getting close to starting soon. I need it! Thanks for your
continued support and advice.
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| User: "Tracy Barber" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 06:23:40 PM |
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On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 22:10:11 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 13:19:20 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
I dont like this trend.
Repeat after me: Zoloft.
Tracy Barber
Yeah I am getting close to starting soon. I need it! Thanks for your
continued support and advice.
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
Think of the egg head dude on TV that brings us that wondrous info
about our "conditions". Sure helped me think about what was going on
with me, early on.
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. ... ]
Tracy Barber
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| User: "Wrecking Ball" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 06:25:02 PM |
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Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 22:10:11 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 13:19:20 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
I dont like this trend.
Repeat after me: Zoloft.
Tracy Barber
Yeah I am getting close to starting soon. I need it! Thanks for your
continued support and advice.
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
Think of the egg head dude on TV that brings us that wondrous info
about our "conditions". Sure helped me think about what was going on
with me, early on.
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. ... ]
Tracy Barber
:) Did you get those pc's reconditioned?
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| User: "Tracy Barber" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 06:50:48 PM |
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On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 23:25:02 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 22:10:11 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 13:19:20 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
I dont like this trend.
Repeat after me: Zoloft.
Tracy Barber
Yeah I am getting close to starting soon. I need it! Thanks for your
continued support and advice.
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
Think of the egg head dude on TV that brings us that wondrous info
about our "conditions". Sure helped me think about what was going on
with me, early on.
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. ... ]
Tracy Barber
:) Did you get those pc's reconditioned?
Yes sir! I'm finishing the 2nd one as we speak / commune here.
Watched some Sci-Fi, some Cop stuff and you name it!
Also did some other things while all this was happening, like
housework - dishes, laundry, pick up stuff.
Been thinking about a few things lately, like exercise and a bit more
meditative / introspective reading. The toughest time of the year,
for me, is approaching. I need to lose some weight and while I'm
still pretty clear of focus, zoom in on my readings.
(Some will not appreciate my readings here, so I won't mention them.)
Further, a few other healthy items will be on my plate in order to set
up a basic routine for weekdays. I need to get up earlier and go to
bed earlier. This will avoid some of the SAD indirect effects.
I guess I've found some new energy since I've been off meds. I say
this because I've been there already. Don't take my words verbatim
about your meds, because it sounds like you could get some use from
them. I just don't need them anymore - at least it seems that way!
Well, time to finish din-din - chix, rice and veggies with Diet Cola.
What a connoisseur! hehehehehehehe... (I don't drink.)
Anyhoo, later...
Tracy Barber
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| User: "sabra" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 07:12:59 PM |
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(Some will not appreciate my readings here, so I won't mention them.)
Shoot me your reading list?
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
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| User: "Tracy Barber" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 07:40:30 PM |
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On 20 Oct 2003 00:12:59 -0000,
(sabra) wrote:
(Some will not appreciate my readings here, so I won't mention them.)
Shoot me your reading list?
Ah, OK. They are just recovery texts for NA and AA. If people were
recovering from these things, they'd realize the same techniques are
used in depression recovery.
I won't go into it further because of the woodwork crowd.
I've read some other decent things about self-acceptance /
self-actualization / self-help in the past - most of the titles are
forgotten. My memory isn't as good as it once was, but it is getting
better!
Tracy Barber
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| User: "Wrecking Ball" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 06:56:34 PM |
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Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 23:25:02 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 22:10:11 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 13:19:20 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
I dont like this trend.
Repeat after me: Zoloft.
Tracy Barber
Yeah I am getting close to starting soon. I need it! Thanks for your
continued support and advice.
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
Think of the egg head dude on TV that brings us that wondrous info
about our "conditions". Sure helped me think about what was going on
with me, early on.
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. ... ]
Tracy Barber
:) Did you get those pc's reconditioned?
Yes sir! I'm finishing the 2nd one as we speak / commune here.
Watched some Sci-Fi, some Cop stuff and you name it!
Also did some other things while all this was happening, like
housework - dishes, laundry, pick up stuff.
Been thinking about a few things lately, like exercise and a bit more
meditative / introspective reading. The toughest time of the year,
for me, is approaching. I need to lose some weight and while I'm
still pretty clear of focus, zoom in on my readings.
(Some will not appreciate my readings here, so I won't mention them.)
Further, a few other healthy items will be on my plate in order to set
up a basic routine for weekdays. I need to get up earlier and go to
bed earlier. This will avoid some of the SAD indirect effects.
I guess I've found some new energy since I've been off meds. I say
this because I've been there already. Don't take my words verbatim
about your meds, because it sounds like you could get some use from
them. I just don't need them anymore - at least it seems that way!
Well, time to finish din-din - chix, rice and veggies with Diet Cola.
What a connoisseur! hehehehehehehe... (I don't drink.)
Anyhoo, later...
Tracy Barber
I hate laundry---I rather buy new clothes once a week. Why is this the
toughest time for you? Do you exercise at all? Well I am not the one to
preach that for sure :( But go out for some long hilly walks it will do
some good cardio wise. Yeah I think I need some meds---I really do. I
have ups and downs but a lot of downs lately. I need to get these
obsessive pepper thoughts out of my head!! I rarely drink myself---In
fact tonight was the first alchohol in months. I didnt even want to
drink it just kind of went with the meal. I would be interested in your
readings.
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| User: "Tracy Barber" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 07:37:19 PM |
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On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 23:56:34 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 23:25:02 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 22:10:11 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 13:19:20 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
I dont like this trend.
Repeat after me: Zoloft.
Tracy Barber
Yeah I am getting close to starting soon. I need it! Thanks for your
continued support and advice.
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
Think of the egg head dude on TV that brings us that wondrous info
about our "conditions". Sure helped me think about what was going on
with me, early on.
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. ... ]
Tracy Barber
:) Did you get those pc's reconditioned?
Yes sir! I'm finishing the 2nd one as we speak / commune here.
Watched some Sci-Fi, some Cop stuff and you name it!
Also did some other things while all this was happening, like
housework - dishes, laundry, pick up stuff.
Been thinking about a few things lately, like exercise and a bit more
meditative / introspective reading. The toughest time of the year,
for me, is approaching. I need to lose some weight and while I'm
still pretty clear of focus, zoom in on my readings.
(Some will not appreciate my readings here, so I won't mention them.)
Further, a few other healthy items will be on my plate in order to set
up a basic routine for weekdays. I need to get up earlier and go to
bed earlier. This will avoid some of the SAD indirect effects.
I guess I've found some new energy since I've been off meds. I say
this because I've been there already. Don't take my words verbatim
about your meds, because it sounds like you could get some use from
them. I just don't need them anymore - at least it seems that way!
Well, time to finish din-din - chix, rice and veggies with Diet Cola.
What a connoisseur! hehehehehehehe... (I don't drink.)
Anyhoo, later...
Tracy Barber
I hate laundry---I rather buy new clothes once a week. Why is this the
toughest time for you?
November ??, 1976. First rehab. 19 months with a month in Florida in
between, when I split.
December 24, 1980. Suicide attempt. Hospitalization. 50, maybe more
Dilantin and about 25 - 30 Fiorinal. Hey, when yas do da drugs, yas
do da drugs! I really don't remember how many. Spent Christmas in
the hospital. Absa-fraggin-lutely nobody to care about me at all
then. I was waiting to go to a rehab anyway, which came 10 months
later.
Somewhere in between, tried to hang myself in jail. It seemed like
the guards were fucking around with my gf in another cell. I took
their attention of her quicklike. It was cold that night only in
shorts. Brrr...
October 14, 1981. Long term rehab #2. Spent almost 18 months there.
Holidays. Halloween. Thanksgiving. Christmas. New Years. All
within a 2 month span. A lot of times to hang with good people, but
when you didn't have good people, well...
Today, this is much different, but I still feel the "pinch" at times.
But - anyway, I think you get the time periods from above.
I don't talk about it much here, because many people who talk about
suicide will either get flamed or shunned, like a leper.
Do you exercise at all? Well I am not the one to
preach that for sure :( But go out for some long hilly walks it will do
some good cardio wise.
That's part of the autumn / winter plan. Got some sweatclothes ready
and thought about them today. Need to for cholesterol reduction. The
next meds I'll try to work off.
Yeah I think I need some meds---I really do. I
have ups and downs but a lot of downs lately. I need to get these
obsessive pepper thoughts out of my head!! I rarely drink myself---In
fact tonight was the first alchohol in months. I didnt even want to
drink it just kind of went with the meal.
This -IS- a social drink. Absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's
those her that think they can get away with getting drunk on meds and
doing the marijauna maintenance plan that are playing Russian
Roulette.
I would be interested in your readings.
Many of the NA and AA texts / readings, to keep it simple at first.
I've been reading a lot of WWI literature and have a pile of Civil War
books to read. Currently reading on Stanley's travels through Africa.
I think that a review of the basic texts may help, because I've not
read them in 15 or so years. I'll stop here because there are a few
who are UTTERLY OFFENDED at such talk here. [Too f*k*ng bad, I say!]
There are many, many recovery techniques that alcoholics, addicts and
depressed people have in common and are used as such.
Anyhoo, thanks for asking.
Tracy Barber
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| User: "sabra" |
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| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 08:19:28 PM |
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-Snip-
November ??, 1976. First rehab. 19 months with a month in Florida in
between, when I split.
December 24, 1980. Suicide attempt. Hospitalization. 50, maybe more
Dilantin and about 25 - 30 Fiorinal. Hey, when yas do da drugs, yas
do da drugs! I really don't remember how many. Spent Christmas in
the hospital. Absa-fraggin-lutely nobody to care about me at all
then. I was waiting to go to a rehab anyway, which came 10 months
later.
Somewhere in between, tried to hang myself in jail. It seemed like
the guards were fucking around with my gf in another cell. I took
their attention of her quicklike. It was cold that night only in
shorts. Brrr...
October 14, 1981. Long term rehab #2. Spent almost 18 months there.
Holidays. Halloween. Thanksgiving. Christmas. New Years. All
within a 2 month span. A lot of times to hang with good people, but
when you didn't have good people, well...
Today, this is much different, but I still feel the "pinch" at times.
But - anyway, I think you get the time periods from above.
I don't talk about it much here, because many people who talk about
suicide will either get flamed or shunned, like a leper.
-Snip-
That's part of the autumn / winter plan. Got some sweatclothes ready
and thought about them today. Need to for cholesterol reduction. The
next meds I'll try to work off.
-Snip-
I've been reading a lot of WWI literature and have a pile of Civil War
books to read. Currently reading on Stanley's travels through Africa.
I think that a review of the basic texts may help, because I've not
read them in 15 or so years. I'll stop here because there are a few
who are UTTERLY OFFENDED at such talk here. [Too f*k*ng bad, I say!]
There are many, many recovery techniques that alcoholics, addicts and
depressed people have in common and are used as such.
Anyhoo, thanks for asking.
Overwhelmed. :-(
sabra <sabra@hod.aarg.net> or <sabra@blackhole.riot.eu.org>
-=-
This message was posted via two or more anonymous remailing services.
.
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| User: "Tracy Barber" |
|
| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 09:38:20 PM |
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On 20 Oct 2003 01:19:28 -0000,
(sabra) wrote:
-Snip-
November ??, 1976. First rehab. 19 months with a month in Florida in
between, when I split.
December 24, 1980. Suicide attempt. Hospitalization. 50, maybe more
Dilantin and about 25 - 30 Fiorinal. Hey, when yas do da drugs, yas
do da drugs! I really don't remember how many. Spent Christmas in
the hospital. Absa-fraggin-lutely nobody to care about me at all
then. I was waiting to go to a rehab anyway, which came 10 months
later.
Somewhere in between, tried to hang myself in jail. It seemed like
the guards were fucking around with my gf in another cell. I took
their attention of her quicklike. It was cold that night only in
shorts. Brrr...
October 14, 1981. Long term rehab #2. Spent almost 18 months there.
Holidays. Halloween. Thanksgiving. Christmas. New Years. All
within a 2 month span. A lot of times to hang with good people, but
when you didn't have good people, well...
Today, this is much different, but I still feel the "pinch" at times.
But - anyway, I think you get the time periods from above.
I don't talk about it much here, because many people who talk about
suicide will either get flamed or shunned, like a leper.
-Snip-
That's part of the autumn / winter plan. Got some sweatclothes ready
and thought about them today. Need to for cholesterol reduction. The
next meds I'll try to work off.
-Snip-
I've been reading a lot of WWI literature and have a pile of Civil War
books to read. Currently reading on Stanley's travels through Africa.
I think that a review of the basic texts may help, because I've not
read them in 15 or so years. I'll stop here because there are a few
who are UTTERLY OFFENDED at such talk here. [Too f*k*ng bad, I say!]
There are many, many recovery techniques that alcoholics, addicts and
depressed people have in common and are used as such.
Anyhoo, thanks for asking.
Overwhelmed. :-(
- :) Quite alright now though. That was all 20+ years ago. We can
recover.
Tracy Barber
.
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| User: "Wrecking Ball" |
|
| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 07:58:40 PM |
|
|
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 23:56:34 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 23:25:02 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 22:10:11 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 13:19:20 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
I dont like this trend.
Repeat after me: Zoloft.
Tracy Barber
Yeah I am getting close to starting soon. I need it! Thanks for your
continued support and advice.
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
Think of the egg head dude on TV that brings us that wondrous info
about our "conditions". Sure helped me think about what was going on
with me, early on.
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. ... ]
Tracy Barber
:) Did you get those pc's reconditioned?
Yes sir! I'm finishing the 2nd one as we speak / commune here.
Watched some Sci-Fi, some Cop stuff and you name it!
Also did some other things while all this was happening, like
housework - dishes, laundry, pick up stuff.
Been thinking about a few things lately, like exercise and a bit more
meditative / introspective reading. The toughest time of the year,
for me, is approaching. I need to lose some weight and while I'm
still pretty clear of focus, zoom in on my readings.
(Some will not appreciate my readings here, so I won't mention them.)
Further, a few other healthy items will be on my plate in order to set
up a basic routine for weekdays. I need to get up earlier and go to
bed earlier. This will avoid some of the SAD indirect effects.
I guess I've found some new energy since I've been off meds. I say
this because I've been there already. Don't take my words verbatim
about your meds, because it sounds like you could get some use from
them. I just don't need them anymore - at least it seems that way!
Well, time to finish din-din - chix, rice and veggies with Diet Cola.
What a connoisseur! hehehehehehehe... (I don't drink.)
Anyhoo, later...
Tracy Barber
I hate laundry---I rather buy new clothes once a week. Why is this the
toughest time for you?
November ??, 1976. First rehab. 19 months with a month in Florida in
between, when I split.
December 24, 1980. Suicide attempt. Hospitalization. 50, maybe more
Dilantin and about 25 - 30 Fiorinal. Hey, when yas do da drugs, yas
do da drugs! I really don't remember how many. Spent Christmas in
the hospital. Absa-fraggin-lutely nobody to care about me at all
then. I was waiting to go to a rehab anyway, which came 10 months
later.
Somewhere in between, tried to hang myself in jail. It seemed like
the guards were fucking around with my gf in another cell. I took
their attention of her quicklike. It was cold that night only in
shorts. Brrr...
October 14, 1981. Long term rehab #2. Spent almost 18 months there.
Holidays. Halloween. Thanksgiving. Christmas. New Years. All
within a 2 month span. A lot of times to hang with good people, but
when you didn't have good people, well...
Today, this is much different, but I still feel the "pinch" at times.
But - anyway, I think you get the time periods from above.
I don't talk about it much here, because many people who talk about
suicide will either get flamed or shunned, like a leper.
Do you exercise at all? Well I am not the one to
preach that for sure :( But go out for some long hilly walks it will do
some good cardio wise.
That's part of the autumn / winter plan. Got some sweatclothes ready
and thought about them today. Need to for cholesterol reduction. The
next meds I'll try to work off.
Yeah I think I need some meds---I really do. I
have ups and downs but a lot of downs lately. I need to get these
obsessive pepper thoughts out of my head!! I rarely drink myself---In
fact tonight was the first alchohol in months. I didnt even want to
drink it just kind of went with the meal.
This -IS- a social drink. Absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's
those her that think they can get away with getting drunk on meds and
doing the marijauna maintenance plan that are playing Russian
Roulette.
I would be interested in your readings.
Many of the NA and AA texts / readings, to keep it simple at first.
I've been reading a lot of WWI literature and have a pile of Civil War
books to read. Currently reading on Stanley's travels through Africa.
I think that a review of the basic texts may help, because I've not
read them in 15 or so years. I'll stop here because there are a few
who are UTTERLY OFFENDED at such talk here. [Too f*k*ng bad, I say!]
There are many, many recovery techniques that alcoholics, addicts and
depressed people have in common and are used as such.
Anyhoo, thanks for asking.
Tracy Barber
I have been trying to come up with something to say in response.
Everytime I would write something I would re-read it and look for ways
that it could be mis-interpreted----which I did not want to happen. So I
would erase and start over only to repeat. I dont think I have been
"experienced" enough to respond totally yet. I didnt want to sound like
I was preaching or giving a sermon on something I really have no idea
about. So how does this sound for starters--I hope it is ok:
[snip]
Life is precious. Your courage to share helps us all. ***** the
dis-believers.
[snip]
.
|
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| User: "Tracy Barber" |
|
| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 09:36:25 PM |
|
|
On Mon, 20 Oct 2003 00:58:40 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 23:56:34 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 23:25:02 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 22:10:11 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Tracy Barber wrote:
On Sun, 19 Oct 2003 13:19:20 GMT, Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com>
wrote:
I dont like this trend.
Repeat after me: Zoloft.
Tracy Barber
Yeah I am getting close to starting soon. I need it! Thanks for your
continued support and advice.
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
Think of the egg head dude on TV that brings us that wondrous info
about our "conditions". Sure helped me think about what was going on
with me, early on.
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. Zoloft. ]
[ Zoloft. Zoloft. ... ]
Tracy Barber
:) Did you get those pc's reconditioned?
Yes sir! I'm finishing the 2nd one as we speak / commune here.
Watched some Sci-Fi, some Cop stuff and you name it!
Also did some other things while all this was happening, like
housework - dishes, laundry, pick up stuff.
Been thinking about a few things lately, like exercise and a bit more
meditative / introspective reading. The toughest time of the year,
for me, is approaching. I need to lose some weight and while I'm
still pretty clear of focus, zoom in on my readings.
(Some will not appreciate my readings here, so I won't mention them.)
Further, a few other healthy items will be on my plate in order to set
up a basic routine for weekdays. I need to get up earlier and go to
bed earlier. This will avoid some of the SAD indirect effects.
I guess I've found some new energy since I've been off meds. I say
this because I've been there already. Don't take my words verbatim
about your meds, because it sounds like you could get some use from
them. I just don't need them anymore - at least it seems that way!
Well, time to finish din-din - chix, rice and veggies with Diet Cola.
What a connoisseur! hehehehehehehe... (I don't drink.)
Anyhoo, later...
Tracy Barber
I hate laundry---I rather buy new clothes once a week. Why is this the
toughest time for you?
November ??, 1976. First rehab. 19 months with a month in Florida in
between, when I split.
December 24, 1980. Suicide attempt. Hospitalization. 50, maybe more
Dilantin and about 25 - 30 Fiorinal. Hey, when yas do da drugs, yas
do da drugs! I really don't remember how many. Spent Christmas in
the hospital. Absa-fraggin-lutely nobody to care about me at all
then. I was waiting to go to a rehab anyway, which came 10 months
later.
Somewhere in between, tried to hang myself in jail. It seemed like
the guards were fucking around with my gf in another cell. I took
their attention of her quicklike. It was cold that night only in
shorts. Brrr...
October 14, 1981. Long term rehab #2. Spent almost 18 months there.
Holidays. Halloween. Thanksgiving. Christmas. New Years. All
within a 2 month span. A lot of times to hang with good people, but
when you didn't have good people, well...
Today, this is much different, but I still feel the "pinch" at times.
But - anyway, I think you get the time periods from above.
I don't talk about it much here, because many people who talk about
suicide will either get flamed or shunned, like a leper.
Do you exercise at all? Well I am not the one to
preach that for sure :( But go out for some long hilly walks it will do
some good cardio wise.
That's part of the autumn / winter plan. Got some sweatclothes ready
and thought about them today. Need to for cholesterol reduction. The
next meds I'll try to work off.
Yeah I think I need some meds---I really do. I
have ups and downs but a lot of downs lately. I need to get these
obsessive pepper thoughts out of my head!! I rarely drink myself---In
fact tonight was the first alchohol in months. I didnt even want to
drink it just kind of went with the meal.
This -IS- a social drink. Absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's
those her that think they can get away with getting drunk on meds and
doing the marijauna maintenance plan that are playing Russian
Roulette.
I would be interested in your readings.
Many of the NA and AA texts / readings, to keep it simple at first.
I've been reading a lot of WWI literature and have a pile of Civil War
books to read. Currently reading on Stanley's travels through Africa.
I think that a review of the basic texts may help, because I've not
read them in 15 or so years. I'll stop here because there are a few
who are UTTERLY OFFENDED at such talk here. [Too f*k*ng bad, I say!]
There are many, many recovery techniques that alcoholics, addicts and
depressed people have in common and are used as such.
Anyhoo, thanks for asking.
Tracy Barber
I have been trying to come up with something to say in response.
Everytime I would write something I would re-read it and look for ways
that it could be mis-interpreted----which I did not want to happen. So I
would erase and start over only to repeat. I dont think I have been
"experienced" enough to respond totally yet. I didnt want to sound like
I was preaching or giving a sermon on something I really have no idea
about. So how does this sound for starters--I hope it is ok:
[snip]
Life is precious. Your courage to share helps us all. ***** the
dis-believers.
That's quite good enough for me. :^)
Tracy Barber
.
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| User: "Indigo Moon Man" |
|
| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 08:37:07 AM |
|
|
Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com> spake thusly:
I dont like this trend.
I seem to be following about the same trend. I hope it gets better for you
soon.
--
A good summary of my beliefs:
http://www.upci.org/doctrine
.
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| User: "Wrecking Ball" |
|
| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 08:50:54 AM |
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Indigo Moon Man wrote:
Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com> spake thusly:
I dont like this trend.
I seem to be following about the same trend. I hope it gets better for you
soon.
It sucks. I have to get some help. I am so wound up this morning with
anger at myself I have go to leave my house. Gotta get out and take my
mind off but nothing works anymore. Worthless doctors, worthless
friends. That is why I am here. Actually I am here cuz of me--I am the
chief idiot. If I would have not been so nice and helping to someone
obviously using me none the events would have happened. Ok I need to go
drive---that is what I do when I get worked up. I just drive. Now you
start working yourself better Indigo.
.
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| User: "Indigo Moon Man" |
|
| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 09:10:32 AM |
|
|
Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com> spake thusly:
Indigo Moon Man wrote:
Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com> spake thusly:
I dont like this trend.
I seem to be following about the same trend. I hope it gets better for
you soon.
It sucks. I have to get some help. I am so wound up this morning with
anger at myself I have go to leave my house. Gotta get out and take my
mind off but nothing works anymore. Worthless doctors, worthless
friends. That is why I am here. Actually I am here cuz of me--I am the
chief idiot. If I would have not been so nice and helping to someone
obviously using me none the events would have happened. Ok I need to go
drive---that is what I do when I get worked up. I just drive. Now you
start working yourself better Indigo.
Hey, that's like me. Sometimes when things are getting to me really bad and
I'm getting upset, especially with myself, a drive really does me good. You
can't change what happened in the past but you can just be good to yourself
today. You deserve it. Thank you for writing.
--
A good summary of my beliefs:
http://www.upci.org/doctrine
.
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| User: "Hedda" |
|
| Title: Re: This morning shittier than yesterday |
19 Oct 2003 09:23:05 AM |
|
|
"Indigo Moon Man" <indigomoon@bonbon.net> wrote in message
news:bmu615$qm9mr$1@ID-70710.news.uni-berlin.de...
Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com> spake thusly:
Indigo Moon Man wrote:
Wrecking Ball <j39s89384d@yahoo.com> spake thusly:
I dont like this trend.
I seem to be following about the same trend. I hope it gets better for
you soon.
It sucks. I have to get some help. I am so wound up this morning with
anger at myself I have go to leave my house. Gotta get out and take my
mind off but nothing works anymore. Worthless doctors, worthless
friends. That is why I am here. Actually I am here cuz of me--I am the
chief idiot. If I would have not been so nice and helping to someone
obviously using me none the events would have happened. Ok I need to go
drive---that is what I do when I get worked up. I just drive. Now you
start working yourself better Indigo.
Hey, that's like me. Sometimes when things are getting to me really bad
and
I'm getting upset, especially with myself, a drive really does me good.
You
can't change what happened in the past but you can just be good to
yourself
today. You deserve it. Thank you for writing.
--
A good summary of my beliefs:
http://www.upci.org/doctrine
what's the farthest you've gotten ? on you drive. i'd be affraid i
wouldn't stop till i came to the ocean.....
Hedda
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