| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Brianversion" |
| Date: |
29 Sep 2005 07:12:56 PM |
| Object: |
(this post too long)This is the first non AD time in years. |
I was on Prozac for 13 years, had to quit because it made my legs go
crazy at night. Have tried 2 more in the past few months. The
wellbutrin (2nd lifetime try) didn't work again and the Zoloft made my
legs go nuts again. With both Zoloft and Prozac, It was HARD to come
off them, because all day long I had a whooshing in my head, and this
is for weeks after stopping the drug. I STILL have it a bit, been a few
weeks off Zoloft. But I have one side effect of non-medication that I
have experienced briefly before, and will now have to get used to; I
cry at the drop of a hat. Or more accurately, I cry when I didn't
expect to cry. I am not a big cryer, I have all that male anti-crying
conditioning. But this I can not stop. It actually feels good, it
just happened a bit watching NYPD blue. Sypowitz (sp) always gets me.
And all this was covered up for over 13 years, because I do not cry on
SSRI drugs like Prozac or Zoloft. I wonder if this is like after a
stroke, people cry a lot. I wonder if I will get over it. I'm not
sure I want to. Feels great afterwards.
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| User: "Bev Thornton" |
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| Title: Re: (this post too long)This is the first non AD time in years. |
30 Sep 2005 12:49:47 AM |
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On 2005-09-30, Brianversion wrote:
And all this was covered up for over 13 years, because I do not cry on
SSRI drugs like Prozac or Zoloft. I wonder if this is like after a
stroke, people cry a lot. I wonder if I will get over it. I'm not
sure I want to. Feels great afterwards.
Maybe you're on the wrong meds. Anti-depressants aren't supposed to blunt
affect, they're supposed to allow you to feel a full range of affect.
People get depression for all sorts of reasons, anti-depressants are not
always the solution. That's what happened to me and one of the
anti-depressants I was prescribed messed me up for good.
--
<bevthornton@despammed.com> Support: <http://www.tibetanaidproject.org/>
Your work is to discover your world
and then with all your heart, give yourself to it.
.
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| User: "Brianversion" |
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| Title: Re: (this post too long)This is the first non AD time in years. |
30 Sep 2005 08:41:53 AM |
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'Maybe you're on the wrong meds. Anti-depressants aren't supposed to
blunt
affect, they're supposed to allow you to feel a full range of affect.
People get depression for all sorts of reasons, anti-depressants are
not
always the solution. That's what happened to me and one of the
anti-depressants I was prescribed messed me up for good. "
*****. You mind telling which one did that "for good"?.
So now, he has me on 2 doses of ritalin a day. Why? I don't know. Or
more accurately, I don't remember. I'm supposed to be taking Abilify
too, but I am not. I'm on such a roller coaster with this doctor, been
on so many drugs, at least 20 with him in 9 years. Yeah, I know, get
another doctor. But everything wears off for me, I've been at this for
20 years with different doctors. Just between me and you, I think a
nice bud of homegrown is the best drug for me. Not a blowout, but a
couple puffs, after a hard days work, watching something worthwhile on
the tube....It's a combination (work/weed/intellectual stimulation)
that keeps me hanging on.
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| User: "lisa in mass." |
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| Title: Re: (this post too long)This is the first non AD time in years. |
30 Sep 2005 10:53:49 PM |
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Brianversion wrote...
I'm supposed to be taking Abilify
too, but I am not.
i'm on abilify now. did a good job at boosting my ad, and also
takes care of the auditory hallucinations i get when my
depression's really bad. it's also the only antipsychotic i've
been able to tolerate. no noticable side-effects at all.
-lisa
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| User: "Brianversion" |
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| Title: Re: (this post too long)This is the first non AD time in years. |
01 Oct 2005 09:19:00 AM |
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"i'm on abilify now. did a good job at boosting my ad, and also
takes care of the auditory hallucinations i get when my
depression's really bad. it's also the only antipsychotic i've
been able to tolerate. no noticable side-effects at all. "
I've got to admit, I have it, I'm not taking it, I thought it worked
early summer, then thought it was making me tired, stopped, re-started,
can't remember why I stopped. Actually I do know why I stopped: It's
as with all my drugs, an incident will happen, and I'll blame the drug.
I would need to be spoon fed this stuff to get a consistent effect.
Yes, that's stupid.
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| User: "Bev Thornton" |
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| Title: Re: (this post too long)This is the first non AD time in years. |
30 Sep 2005 02:00:15 PM |
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On 2005-09-30, Brianversion wrote:
*****. You mind telling which one did that "for good"?.
Effexor. You may have heard of the side effects some people get from it. I
got them worse than any I've ever read about and the effects are still
with me, 9 years later. On my medical records there're big stickers on
some of the pages that read: ADVERSE REACTION: Effexor. I don't see a
regular psychiatrist anymore, now they send me to one who specialises in
PTSD and seizure disorders combined, a neuropsychiatrist. He says that the
Effexor may have made something called 'kindling' possible which makes
both the PSTD and the seizure problems worse. I've been told by unrelated
practitioners that I may have to stay on anti-convulsants and an
anxiolytic for the rest of my life. I haven't been able to find much
useful information on this 'kindling' thing, I don't understand it.
So now, he has me on 2 doses of ritalin a day. Why? I don't know.
They put me on that, too. It did make my attention more normal, but as far
as I'm concerned that was no advantage and the crap made me groggy,
sleepy.
more accurately, I don't remember. I'm supposed to be taking Abilify
too, but I am not.
What's Abilify?
Does the prescribing physician know you're not taking it? It's hard for
them to do their job if they don't know exactly what is going on with us.
I'm on such a roller coaster with this doctor, been on so many drugs, at
least 20 with him in 9 years. Yeah, I know, get another doctor. But
everything wears off for me, I've been at this for 20 years with
different doctors. Just between me and you, I think a nice bud of
homegrown is the best drug for me. Not a blowout, but a couple puffs,
after a hard days work, watching something worthwhile on the
tube....It's a combination (work/weed/intellectual stimulation) that
keeps me hanging on.
Maybe you've had the wrong approach all along. See, I am depressed, many
serious major episodes, and chronic general depression, but
anti-depressants never actually cleared it up entirely and they never did
it as well as what I'm taking now. I take a quarter gram of valproic acid
every six hours and 5mg of buspirone every twelve. I started about a year
ago and I'm still improving. I just have to avoid things that trigger the
PTSD, like news and movies or certain situations, and keep myself from
getting too tired or hungry or anything that can trigger the seizures.
--
<bevthornton@despammed.com> Support: <http://www.amnesty.org/>
Happily shall I live without struggling anxiously among the strivers;
live without striving.
.
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| User: "Brianversion" |
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| Title: Re: (this post too long)This is the first non AD time in years. |
30 Sep 2005 03:33:59 PM |
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"What is Abilify?"
Abilify is an anti-psychotic that has anti-depressant properties. I
will tell him I'm not taking it. I start a drug, then 2 weeks later, I
invariably blame the drug for how lousy I feel. But I have been on so
many that I never give them a chance to work. And if I don't call
him (and he's 80 miles away) He certainly doesn't call me. In 9 years
I've been on them all, except the anti-convulsant Depakote used as a
mood stabilizer (he recommended). I have a thing against it because
they give it to all the prisoners. Yes, that's nuts. Even he
recommends I at least get some talk therapy up here in the wilderness.
He says, "You're not supposed to be working, but you're taking care of
an elderly guy 7 days a week, dealing with end-of-life issues." So at
least he's on my side.
"I take a quarter gram of valproic acid
every six hours and 5mg of buspirone every twelve."
Not familiar with valproic acid, but I was on Buspar with the Prozac
years back. Buspar/buspirone immediately worked to re-activate the
Prozac, which had pooped. But then that stopped working (I think) too.
Actually, maybe I might go back on a low dose of that without an SSRI
chaser. Buspar was dose effective, I mean I felt it when I took it at
3 pm, felt good (I'm just looking for serene). Prozac is like trying
to steer an oil tanker. The real name of the 'restless leg syndrome'
symptoms was Akathesia (I think that's the spelling) caused by SSRIs,
and brutal.
"I just have to avoid things that trigger the
PTSD, like news and movies or certain situations, and keep myself from
getting too tired or hungry or anything that can trigger the seizures.
"
That sucks that Effexor caused such a permanent symptom for you. He
has told me I have PTSD. We're going deep when we go there, probably
we can't really talk about it here. Which sucks, because it's a core
topic. I'm not convinced that the things which happened to me would be
considered by others to be traumatic. That causes mucho loneliness and
isolation.
Yeah, I think I need that talk therapy.
(sorry for chopping up your reply, I keep going back and finding
stuff....)
"Maybe you've had the wrong approach all along. See, I am depressed,
many
serious major episodes, and chronic general depression, but
anti-depressants never actually cleared it up entirely and they never
did
it as well as what I'm taking now."
That's why I am happy to have the oil tanker drydocked. No more AD's.
I think the Ritalin may be helping, and thanks for the Buspar reminder.
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| User: "Bev Thornton" |
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| Title: Re: (this post too long)This is the first non AD time in years. |
30 Sep 2005 06:44:35 PM |
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On 2005-09-30, Brianversion wrote:
"What is Abilify?"
Abilify is an anti-psychotic that has anti-depressant properties. I
will tell him I'm not taking it. I start a drug, then 2 weeks later, I
invariably blame the drug for how lousy I feel. But I have been on so
many that I never give them a chance to work.
I always gave them at least four weeks. I tried some of those and they
were ineffective and made me groggy.
And if I don't call him (and he's 80 miles away) He certainly doesn't
call me. In 9 years I've been on them all, except the anti-convulsant
Depakote used as a mood stabilizer (he recommended).
That's what they gave me. That was the one that the doctor said would take
a few weeks and took only a few days. It was my last thing to try. Because
of the way it worked they shifted me from one department to another and
the medication to valproic acid, also called Depakene. Depakote and
Depacon are similar, but not quite the same.
I have a thing against it because they give it to all the prisoners.
Yes, that's nuts.
Then why go by it?
Even he recommends I at least get some talk therapy up here in the
wilderness. He says, "You're not supposed to be working, but you're
taking care of an elderly guy 7 days a week, dealing with end-of-life
issues." So at least he's on my side.
Yes, you should have someone to talk to, but not necessarily a therapist.
Clergy and grief counsellors usually have more experience with the issues
you'll be coming to.
Not familiar with valproic acid, but I was on Buspar with the Prozac
years back. Buspar/buspirone immediately worked to re-activate the
Prozac, which had pooped. But then that stopped working (I think) too.
Valproic acid is like a rawer form of Depakote. It's more useful for
migraines and seizures. Depakote is better for the manic phase of bipolar.
Actually, maybe I might go back on a low dose of that without an SSRI
chaser. Buspar was dose effective, I mean I felt it when I took it at
3 pm, felt good (I'm just looking for serene). Prozac is like trying
to steer an oil tanker. The real name of the 'restless leg syndrome'
symptoms was Akathesia (I think that's the spelling) caused by SSRIs,
and brutal.
The Buspar is different, so it is worth trying on its own.
That sucks that Effexor caused such a permanent symptom for you. He
has told me I have PTSD. We're going deep when we go there, probably
we can't really talk about it here.
Yeah. Myself, I have trouble when I read certain things. So, I don't write
about them, either.
Which sucks, because it's a core topic. I'm not convinced that the
things which happened to me would be considered by others to be
traumatic. That causes mucho loneliness and isolation.
Yeah, I think I need that talk therapy.
It's not really much good for PTSD, but it can be good for other things
that go along with it. A lot of talk therapy makes PTSD worse. There's no
telling that to the talk therapists, though, and they are definitely
ignoring the data. There is even data that may indicate that both flooding
and reprocessing are harmful.
Specific, goal-oriented therapies are useful, cognitive-behavioural kinds.
That's why I am happy to have the oil tanker drydocked. No more AD's.
I think the Ritalin may be helping, and thanks for the Buspar reminder.
What does the Ritalin do for you? Maybe Depakote would do similar things.
--
<bevthornton@despammed.com> Support: <http://www.dalailamafoundation.org/>
<http://microsoft.com/athome/security>
Let none through anger or ill-will wish harm upon another.
.
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| User: "Brianversion" |
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| Title: Re: (this post too long)This is the first non AD time in years. |
01 Oct 2005 09:13:22 AM |
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"What does the Ritalin do for you? Maybe Depakote would do similar
things"
So far...well I've been posting to the newsgroup a lot. That's not
like me. Last night when I took a break from the computer, I wondered
what everybody here was doing. But I felt I'd been talking too much.
Crashed, slept, and now I'm fine. I have a lot of circumstance
happening now, don't know how I feel really.
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| User: "Bev Thornton" |
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| Title: Re: (this post too long)This is the first non AD time in years. |
01 Oct 2005 02:19:29 PM |
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On 2005-10-01, Brianversion wrote:
So far...well I've been posting to the newsgroup a lot. That's not
like me. Last night when I took a break from the computer, I wondered
what everybody here was doing. But I felt I'd been talking too much.
Crashed, slept, and now I'm fine. I have a lot of circumstance
happening now, don't know how I feel really.
With a lot of stuff going on, it could be difficult to tell what is caused
by medication and what is caused by circumstance.
--
<bevthornton@despammed.com> Support: <http://www.space4peace.org/>
<http://microsoft.com/athome/security>
If it is harmful, avoid doing it.
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| User: "Contrarian" |
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| Title: Re: (this post too long)This is the first non AD time in years. |
30 Sep 2005 04:02:46 PM |
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Bev Thornton <Sender@not.invalid> wrote:
On 2005-09-30, Brianversion wrote:
****. You mind telling which one did that "for good"?.
Effexor. You may have heard of the side effects some people get from it. I
got them worse than any I've ever read about and the effects are still
with me, 9 years later.
makes me still less enthusiastic about trying Effexor (after
ZZZZZoloft and Prozzac) is there some secret rule about not
Rx'g SNRI's in the US?
--
but the edge is still Out there. Or maybe it's In... HST (1967)
when i got to the edge , i built a deck % (2005)
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| User: "lisa in mass." |
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| Title: Re: (this post too long)This is the first non AD time in years. |
30 Sep 2005 10:30:58 PM |
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Contrarian wrote...
Bev Thornton <Sender@not.invalid> wrote:
On 2005-09-30, Brianversion wrote:
****. You mind telling which one did that "for good"?.
Effexor. You may have heard of the side effects some
people get from it. I got them worse than any I've ever
read about and the effects are still with me, 9 years
later.
makes me still less enthusiastic about trying Effexor
(after ZZZZZoloft and Prozzac) is there some secret rule
about not Rx'g SNRI's in the US?
effexor was one of two meds, out of all of antidepressants,
that helped me. i did best with a combination of effexor and
remeron. after a few years it pooped out and i went off it.
the only common problem with effexor is that you have to go
off very slowly if you don't want terrible withdrawal effects.
other thanthat, i had a very good experience with effexor.
-lisa
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| User: "Bev Thornton" |
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| Title: Re: (this post too long)This is the first non AD time in years. |
30 Sep 2005 06:48:17 PM |
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On 2005-09-30, Contrarian wrote:
Bev Thornton <Sender@not.invalid> wrote:
On 2005-09-30, Brianversion wrote:
****. You mind telling which one did that "for good"?.
Effexor. You may have heard of the side effects some people get from it. I
got them worse than any I've ever read about and the effects are still
with me, 9 years later.
makes me still less enthusiastic about trying Effexor (after
ZZZZZoloft and Prozzac) is there some secret rule about not
Rx'g SNRI's in the US?
Most people do really well with Effexor. There are very few who have a
reaction like I did, so few that there were none on the approval trials
for it.
--
<bevthornton@despammed.com> Support: <http://www.amnesty.org/>
You, yourself, as much as anybody in the universe,
deserve your love and affection.
.
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| User: "Contrarian" |
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| Title: Re: (this post too long)This is the first non AD time in years. |
01 Oct 2005 08:16:08 PM |
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Bev Thornton <Sender@not.invalid> wrote:
On 2005-09-30, Contrarian wrote:
makes me still less enthusiastic about trying Effexor (after
ZZZZZoloft and Prozzac) is there some secret rule about not
Rx'g SNRI's in the US?
Most people do really well with Effexor. There are very few who have a
reaction like I did, so few that there were none on the approval trials
for it.
And most ppl don't become criminal monsters on cannibis,
I believe. But some do.
I don't like the idea of mixing the *SRI and the *NRI.
Cannot risk the ZZZZ again and then up the dose ha ha
to become energized.
--
but the edge is still Out there. Or maybe it's In... HST (1967)
when i got to the edge , i built a deck % (2005)
.
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