Well hello strangers,

I was emailing a fellow ASD'r and they said something that got me to
thinking about my comment on why I've not been posting much and well

right I should post even when things in my life are going well.

I come here when my life seems to be falling apart, pulling energy from

group to get through my days. I make friends, many friends actually, I am
treated well, and told lots of compliments. This is family,or it seems to
be more of a family then my own, so why not share when things are going
well? I guess it always felt like I was rubbing my "happiness" in
everyone's nose and didn't wanna do that.

So a brief update.

I was dating that cop for a while in fact I was dating more then one

for a while, ya know, checking the waters, slowly falling for the cop,

seeing the cop after a short while and afraid of that feeling, knowing

probably end up breaking my heart, cuz they all do, and sure enough when

came down to me asking him "where we were going" he got cold cold feet and
said he liked the way things were. (He was kind, respectful, non
controlling, generous, etc) Well of course he did, he was getting laid,

didn't have to commit, so I broke it off with him.

In the mean time I had met an accountant. No mental illnesses, no hidden
secret past, no sexual abuse, no meds to regulate moods, no violence, no
past records. Just a normal guy, who lived in a middle class family, from
New York, who graduated from highschool, when to college, and worked. Of
course I wasn't interested in him in a romantic way, he wasn't my usual

boy" type, or anyone I could "fix" so my radar wasn't going bananas, and
figured he'd just be a good friend to have. After a month of just talking
we finally decide to meet for dinner. We'd go out as friends, hang out

town at city place and just talk more. Well we talked from 6pm until 4am,
nothing sexual, just chatting, hanging out, laughing, it was a blast.

we got together the next day and the day after that. That was Memorial
Weekend.

Needless to say here it is three months later and we are officially

in love and enjoying each other. He knows of my past (guys, abuse,

my being BPII, being undmedicated, therapy free and continues to be
supportive, loving, accepting, and well "normal" No violence, just always
calm, always laid back, and always responsible. He doesn't drink, he
doesn't smoke, he pays his bills, works everyday, has a beautiful dog and
well, it's so strange for me to not have a bf I have to fix, or support,

take care of. He's the PILLAR I've always talked about having, and never
succeeded in getting.

Work has been great, I am now the OFFICE manager and the boss is talking
about another big raise. I am doing the book keeping, and executive
assisting, along with receptionist all rolled into one, and I'm loving it
up!!! My son is working there as our draftsman, and my daughter just

16 and is working at the local McDonalds. I bought a new car, traded the
SUV in, gas was getting ridiculous, and the car payment w/gas is less then
the gas was in the SUV.

Lettme see, reflecting on the last year? What have I learned? Finding a
boyfriend/lover/significant other, online in a emotional/mental support
group is probably one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made in my choice

partners. When you put two completely unstable, possibly suicidal,
emotional rollercoasting ppl together and "try" to make it work, can only
mean disaster and as my personal life played out here with Michael, well
kids if you doubt what I'm saying re-read The Valentines Day Massacre in

this year between myself and Gravity. If that don't convince you, I still
have the 180 email messages of complete psychosis to remind me never to

someone who is as mentally ill or more mentally ill then I am.

I've learned that "nice guys" don't have to finish last. They can be just
as exciting even more so then the bad boys. I've learned that I can not

everyone, and fixing someone has/had to start with me. I've learned that
what my family/mother did to me was sickening, and I AM NOT responsible

her illness or behavior, and that's ok that I am not in her good graces,
it's her loss, not mine.

I have more to learn, so much more, Chris (The bf) reminds me that I am
beautiful, inside and out and that someday I may see myself through his

and if that's true, what a wonderful day that will be.

Anyway that's it in a nut shell. Hope everyone is doing well, I do lurk

read almost everyday, I just don't know what to say half the time.

Hugs

Jane

--
----------


"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose
your rest home." Phyllis Diller

Well hello strangers,

I was emailing a fellow ASD'r and they said something that got me to
thinking about my comment on why I've not been posting much and well
they're right I should post even when things in my life are going well.

Well hello strangers,
Work has been great.

I've learned that "nice guys" don't have to finish last. They can be just
as exciting even more so then the bad boys. I've learned that I can not fix
everyone, and fixing someone has/had to start with me.

Well hello strangers,

I was emailing a fellow ASD'r and they said something that
got me to thinking about my comment on why I've not been
posting much and well they're right I should post even when
things in my life are going well.

I come here when my life seems to be falling apart, pulling
energy from the group to get through my days. I make
friends, many friends actually, I am treated well, and told
lots of compliments. This is family,or it seems to be more
of a family then my own, so why not share when things are
going well? I guess it always felt like I was rubbing my
"happiness" in everyone's nose and didn't wanna do that.

So a brief update.

Well hello strangers,

I was emailing a fellow ASD'r and they said something that got me to
thinking about my comment on why I've not been posting much and well they're
right I should post even when things in my life are going well.

I come here when my life seems to be falling apart, pulling energy from the
group to get through my days. I make friends, many friends actually, I am
treated well, and told lots of compliments. This is family,or it seems to
be more of a family then my own, so why not share when things are going
well? I guess it always felt like I was rubbing my "happiness" in
everyone's nose and didn't wanna do that.

So a brief update.

I was dating that cop for a while in fact I was dating more then one person
for a while, ya know, checking the waters, slowly falling for the cop, just
seeing the cop after a short while and afraid of that feeling, knowing he'd
probably end up breaking my heart, cuz they all do, and sure enough when it
came down to me asking him "where we were going" he got cold cold feet and
said he liked the way things were. (He was kind, respectful, non
controlling, generous, etc) Well of course he did, he was getting laid, but
didn't have to commit, so I broke it off with him.

In the mean time I had met an accountant. No mental illnesses, no hidden
secret past, no sexual abuse, no meds to regulate moods, no violence, no
past records. Just a normal guy, who lived in a middle class family, from
New York, who graduated from highschool, when to college, and worked. Of
course I wasn't interested in him in a romantic way, he wasn't my usual "bad
boy" type, or anyone I could "fix" so my radar wasn't going bananas, and
figured he'd just be a good friend to have. After a month of just talking
we finally decide to meet for dinner. We'd go out as friends, hang out down
town at city place and just talk more. Well we talked from 6pm until 4am,
nothing sexual, just chatting, hanging out, laughing, it was a blast. Then
we got together the next day and the day after that. That was Memorial
Weekend.

Needless to say here it is three months later and we are officially dating,
in love and enjoying each other. He knows of my past (guys, abuse, family),
my being BPII, being undmedicated, therapy free and continues to be
supportive, loving, accepting, and well "normal" No violence, just always
calm, always laid back, and always responsible. He doesn't drink, he
doesn't smoke, he pays his bills, works everyday, has a beautiful dog and
well, it's so strange for me to not have a bf I have to fix, or support, or
take care of. He's the PILLAR I've always talked about having, and never
succeeded in getting.

Work has been great, I am now the OFFICE manager and the boss is talking
about another big raise. I am doing the book keeping, and executive
assisting, along with receptionist all rolled into one, and I'm loving it
up!!! My son is working there as our draftsman, and my daughter just turned
16 and is working at the local McDonalds. I bought a new car, traded the
SUV in, gas was getting ridiculous, and the car payment w/gas is less then
the gas was in the SUV.

Lettme see, reflecting on the last year? What have I learned? Finding a
boyfriend/lover/significant other, online in a emotional/mental support
group is probably one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made in my choice of
partners. When you put two completely unstable, possibly suicidal,
emotional rollercoasting ppl together and "try" to make it work, can only
mean disaster and as my personal life played out here with Michael, well
kids if you doubt what I'm saying re-read The Valentines Day Massacre in ASD
this year between myself and Gravity. If that don't convince you, I still
have the 180 email messages of complete psychosis to remind me never to date
someone who is as mentally ill or more mentally ill then I am.

I've learned that "nice guys" don't have to finish last. They can be just
as exciting even more so then the bad boys. I've learned that I can not fix
everyone, and fixing someone has/had to start with me. I've learned that
what my family/mother did to me was sickening, and I AM NOT responsible for
her illness or behavior, and that's ok that I am not in her good graces,
it's her loss, not mine.

I have more to learn, so much more, Chris (The bf) reminds me that I am
beautiful, inside and out and that someday I may see myself through his eyes
and if that's true, what a wonderful day that will be.

Anyway that's it in a nut shell. Hope everyone is doing well, I do lurk and
read almost everyday, I just don't know what to say half the time.

Hugs

Jane

Well hello strangers,

I was emailing a fellow ASD'r and they said something that got me to
thinking about my comment on why I've not been posting much and well they're
right I should post even when things in my life are going well.

Then we got together the next day and the day after that. That was Memorial
Weekend. Needless to say here it is three months later and we are officially dating,
in love and enjoying each other.