| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"Stevhan Hartwell" |
| Date: |
30 Jan 2004 03:42:14 AM |
| Object: |
well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!! owe |
well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!!
i broke my hand today. i was at a sweat lodge today. specifically i
asked for help in releasing anger that has never been voiced, never been
displayed, never vocalized towards those that raped me so many years ago.
well, i let out a LITTLE of that anger today... and whilst i was
screaming at Mr & Mrs Donovan (when i was 3-5 yrs old), Essam and his
brother (9 years old) ... i punched the ground out of anger, more than a
few times. the anger was directed at its true source - those that made me
impotent in life ...
well, i didn't hear the "pop," but everyone else did... i knew there was
something wrong... wow, was there!!! i thought i had dis-located my
knuckle. not a biggie... yeah right! i even tried to straighten it out /
put it back in place... "slight" error in judgement there... lol ... get
to the hospital after the fact... and i have a 40 degree fracture
(meaning angle of fracture). f**king owe ... dang it hurts ... i did NOT
feel a thing when it happened, nor afterwards - adrenaline? or just one
of the body's own pain killing endorphines... *shrugs* ... i feel better
after letting out even a lil of that anger.
but it's gonna feel worse tomorrow, after the freezing is entirely out.
:s
stevhan
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| User: "Amy" |
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| Title: Re: well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!! owe |
30 Jan 2004 01:26:25 PM |
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Kinda reminds me of that Nickolodeon ad where they get all the bad guys from
the Powerpuff Girls into a room for therapy and tell them to release their
anger, and they tear the place apart. Yeah, I watch too many cartoons...
It can actually be a relief IMHO to have a physical symbol of your pain, it
makes it real on the outside as well. Like maybe as your hand heals it a
little of your internal pain and anger might heal as well...maybe a little
idealistic, but it was a nice thought.
"Stevhan Hartwell" <stevhanhartwell@shaw.ca> wrote in message
news:Xns9480114CE9A08StevhanH@24.69.255.211...
well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!!
i broke my hand today. i was at a sweat lodge today. specifically i
asked for help in releasing anger that has never been voiced, never been
displayed, never vocalized towards those that raped me so many years ago.
well, i let out a LITTLE of that anger today... and whilst i was
screaming at Mr & Mrs Donovan (when i was 3-5 yrs old), Essam and his
brother (9 years old) ... i punched the ground out of anger, more than a
few times. the anger was directed at its true source - those that made me
impotent in life ...
well, i didn't hear the "pop," but everyone else did... i knew there was
something wrong... wow, was there!!! i thought i had dis-located my
knuckle. not a biggie... yeah right! i even tried to straighten it out /
put it back in place... "slight" error in judgement there... lol ... get
to the hospital after the fact... and i have a 40 degree fracture
(meaning angle of fracture). f**king owe ... dang it hurts ... i did NOT
feel a thing when it happened, nor afterwards - adrenaline? or just one
of the body's own pain killing endorphines... *shrugs* ... i feel better
after letting out even a lil of that anger.
but it's gonna feel worse tomorrow, after the freezing is entirely out.
:s
stevhan
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| User: "Whiskers" |
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| Title: Re: well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!! owe |
30 Jan 2004 05:18:26 PM |
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On Fri, 30 Jan 2004 09:42:14 +0000, Stevhan Hartwell
<stevhanhartwell@shaw.ca> wrote:
snip
i punched the ground out of anger,
snip
You must have released a /lot/ of anger ;))
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^ Interested in Citroens?
-- Whiskers <http://www.aacit.net>
-- ~~~~~~~~~~ <news:alt.autos.citroen>
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| User: "Stevhan Hartwell" |
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| Title: Re: well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!! owe |
30 Jan 2004 06:53:25 PM |
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Whiskers <catwheezel@operamail.com> wrote in
news:pan.2004.01.30.23.18.26.139828@ID-107770.user.uni-berlin.de:
On Fri, 30 Jan 2004 09:42:14 +0000, Stevhan Hartwell
<stevhanhartwell@shaw.ca> wrote:
snip
i punched the ground out of anger,
snip
You must have released a /lot/ of anger ;))
i did. was the first small step in doing so. but it felt good. not the
limited pain, but the emotional release felt great. i've barely felt any
pain with my hand though. *shrugs*
i only wish i had heard the pop when it broke ... oh well ... :P
stevhan
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| User: "Whateverafter" |
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| Title: Re: well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!! owe |
01 Feb 2004 01:58:44 PM |
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Subject: Re: well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!! owe
From: Stevhan Hartwell
Date: 1/30/2004 6:53 PM Central America Standard Time
Message-id: <Xns9480ABC851AC5StevhanH@24.69.255.211>
Whiskers <catwheezel@operamail.com> wrote in
news:pan.2004.01.30.23.18.26.139828@ID-107770.user.uni-berlin.de:
On Fri, 30 Jan 2004 09:42:14 +0000, Stevhan Hartwell
< > wrote:
snip
i punched the ground out of anger,
snip
You must have released a /lot/ of anger ;))
i did. was the first small step in doing so. but it felt good. not the
limited pain, but the emotional release felt great. i've barely felt any
pain with my hand though. *shrugs*
i only wish i had heard the pop when it broke ... oh well ... :P
stevhan
On another post, I had asked you how you broke your hand. Then I saw this
and remembered reading it before. Sorry. A long time ago I broke my hand in
a similar emotion.
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| User: "Stevhan Hartwell" |
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| Title: Re: well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!! owe |
01 Feb 2004 02:44:38 PM |
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(Whateverafter) wrote in
news:20040201145844.27224.00001226@mb-m11.aol.com:
Subject: Re: well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!!
owe From: Stevhan Hartwell
Date: 1/30/2004 6:53 PM Central America Standard Time
Message-id: <Xns9480ABC851AC5StevhanH@24.69.255.211>
Whiskers <catwheezel@operamail.com> wrote in
news:pan.2004.01.30.23.18.26.139828@ID-107770.user.uni-berlin.de:
On Fri, 30 Jan 2004 09:42:14 +0000, Stevhan Hartwell
< > wrote:
snip
i punched the ground out of anger,
snip
You must have released a /lot/ of anger ;))
i did. was the first small step in doing so. but it felt good. not
the limited pain, but the emotional release felt great. i've barely
felt any pain with my hand though. *shrugs*
i only wish i had heard the pop when it broke ... oh well ... :P
stevhan
On another post, I had asked you how you broke your hand. Then I
saw this
and remembered reading it before. Sorry. A long time ago I broke
my hand in a similar emotion.
is all good :D
it was done with a healthy intent - releasing that repressed anger ...
*shrugs*
stevhan
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| User: "zer0 the her0" |
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| Title: Re: well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!! owe |
30 Jan 2004 04:40:07 AM |
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Stevhan Hartwell wrote:
well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!!
i broke my hand today. i was at a sweat lodge today. specifically i
asked for help in releasing anger that has never been voiced, never been
displayed, never vocalized towards those that raped me so many years ago.
well, i let out a LITTLE of that anger today... and whilst i was
screaming at Mr & Mrs Donovan (when i was 3-5 yrs old), Essam and his
brother (9 years old) ... i punched the ground out of anger, more than a
few times. the anger was directed at its true source - those that made me
impotent in life ...
well, i didn't hear the "pop," but everyone else did... i knew there was
something wrong... wow, was there!!! i thought i had dis-located my
knuckle. not a biggie... yeah right! i even tried to straighten it out /
put it back in place... "slight" error in judgement there... lol ... get
to the hospital after the fact... and i have a 40 degree fracture
(meaning angle of fracture). f**king owe ... dang it hurts ... i did NOT
feel a thing when it happened, nor afterwards - adrenaline? or just one
of the body's own pain killing endorphines... *shrugs* ... i feel better
after letting out even a lil of that anger.
but it's gonna feel worse tomorrow, after the freezing is entirely out.
:s
stevhan
a mere flesh wound
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| User: "Alistaire" |
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| Title: Re: well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!! owe |
30 Jan 2004 11:46:19 AM |
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zer0 the her0 <no@no.net> wrote in message news:<401A3520.7090504@no.net>...
Stevhan Hartwell wrote:
well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!!
i broke my hand today. i was at a sweat lodge today. specifically i
asked for help in releasing anger that has never been voiced, never been
displayed, never vocalized towards those that raped me so many years ago.
well, i let out a LITTLE of that anger today... and whilst i was
screaming at Mr & Mrs Donovan (when i was 3-5 yrs old), Essam and his
brother (9 years old) ... i punched the ground out of anger, more than a
few times. the anger was directed at its true source - those that made me
impotent in life ...
well, i didn't hear the "pop," but everyone else did... i knew there was
something wrong... wow, was there!!! i thought i had dis-located my
knuckle. not a biggie... yeah right! i even tried to straighten it out /
put it back in place... "slight" error in judgement there... lol ... get
to the hospital after the fact... and i have a 40 degree fracture
(meaning angle of fracture). f**king owe ... dang it hurts ... i did NOT
feel a thing when it happened, nor afterwards - adrenaline? or just one
of the body's own pain killing endorphines... *shrugs* ... i feel better
after letting out even a lil of that anger.
but it's gonna feel worse tomorrow, after the freezing is entirely out.
:s
stevhan
a mere flesh wound
Long live Monty Python?
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| User: "old coyote" |
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| Title: Re: well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!! owe |
30 Jan 2004 02:49:42 PM |
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(Alistaire) wrote in
news:5d1ebe4.0401300946.3ed3fec3@posting.google.com:
zer0 the her0 <no@no.net> wrote in message
news:<401A3520.7090504@no.net>...
Stevhan Hartwell wrote:
well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!!
i broke my hand today. i was at a sweat lodge today. specifically
i asked for help in releasing anger that has never been voiced,
never been displayed, never vocalized towards those that raped me
so many years ago. well, i let out a LITTLE of that anger today...
and whilst i was screaming at Mr & Mrs Donovan (when i was 3-5 yrs
old), Essam and his brother (9 years old) ... i punched the ground
out of anger, more than a few times. the anger was directed at its
true source - those that made me impotent in life ...
well, i didn't hear the "pop," but everyone else did... i knew
there was something wrong... wow, was there!!! i thought i had
dis-located my knuckle. not a biggie... yeah right! i even tried to
straighten it out / put it back in place... "slight" error in
judgement there... lol ... get to the hospital after the fact...
and i have a 40 degree fracture (meaning angle of fracture).
f**king owe ... dang it hurts ... i did NOT feel a thing when it
happened, nor afterwards - adrenaline? or just one of the body's
own pain killing endorphines... *shrugs* ... i feel better after
letting out even a lil of that anger.
but it's gonna feel worse tomorrow, after the freezing is entirely
out.
:s
stevhan
a mere flesh wound
Long live Monty Python?
"What are you, yellow?"
--
_
-=oc=-
"you do not need to bargain your well being" - %
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| User: "zer0 the her0" |
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| Title: Re: well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!! owe |
30 Jan 2004 04:18:32 PM |
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Alistaire wrote:
zer0 the her0 <no@no.net> wrote in message news:<401A3520.7090504@no.net>...
Stevhan Hartwell wrote:
well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!!
i broke my hand today. i was at a sweat lodge today. specifically i
asked for help in releasing anger that has never been voiced, never been
displayed, never vocalized towards those that raped me so many years ago.
well, i let out a LITTLE of that anger today... and whilst i was
screaming at Mr & Mrs Donovan (when i was 3-5 yrs old), Essam and his
brother (9 years old) ... i punched the ground out of anger, more than a
few times. the anger was directed at its true source - those that made me
impotent in life ...
well, i didn't hear the "pop," but everyone else did... i knew there was
something wrong... wow, was there!!! i thought i had dis-located my
knuckle. not a biggie... yeah right! i even tried to straighten it out /
put it back in place... "slight" error in judgement there... lol ... get
to the hospital after the fact... and i have a 40 degree fracture
(meaning angle of fracture). f**king owe ... dang it hurts ... i did NOT
feel a thing when it happened, nor afterwards - adrenaline? or just one
of the body's own pain killing endorphines... *shrugs* ... i feel better
after letting out even a lil of that anger.
but it's gonna feel worse tomorrow, after the freezing is entirely out.
:s
stevhan
a mere flesh wound
Long live Monty Python?
MONTY!!!
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| User: "Stevhan Hartwell" |
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| Title: Re: well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!! owe |
30 Jan 2004 06:45:09 AM |
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zer0 the her0 <no@no.net> wrote in news:401A3520.7090504@no.net:
Stevhan Hartwell wrote:
well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!!
i broke my hand today. i was at a sweat lodge today. specifically i
asked for help in releasing anger that has never been voiced, never
been displayed, never vocalized towards those that raped me so many
years ago. well, i let out a LITTLE of that anger today... and whilst
i was screaming at Mr & Mrs Donovan (when i was 3-5 yrs old), Essam
and his brother (9 years old) ... i punched the ground out of anger,
more than a few times. the anger was directed at its true source -
those that made me impotent in life ...
well, i didn't hear the "pop," but everyone else did... i knew there
was something wrong... wow, was there!!! i thought i had dis-located
my knuckle. not a biggie... yeah right! i even tried to straighten it
out / put it back in place... "slight" error in judgement there...
lol ... get to the hospital after the fact... and i have a 40 degree
fracture (meaning angle of fracture). f**king owe ... dang it hurts
... i did NOT feel a thing when it happened, nor afterwards -
adrenaline? or just one of the body's own pain killing endorphines...
*shrugs* ... i feel better after letting out even a lil of that
anger.
but it's gonna feel worse tomorrow, after the freezing is entirely
out.
:s
stevhan
a mere flesh wound
and one "wound" that will heal in a few short weeks ... :D .... unlike
what i've been living with.
stevhan
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| User: "Rhiannon" |
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| Title: Re: well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!! owe |
30 Jan 2004 03:18:15 PM |
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x-no-archive: yes
"Stevhan Hartwell" <stevhanhartwell@shaw.ca> wrote in message
news:Xns9480114CE9A08StevhanH@24.69.255.211...
well, when i do things, there are no half measures!!!
i broke my hand today. i was at a sweat lodge today. specifically i
asked for help in releasing anger that has never been voiced, never been
displayed, never vocalized towards those that raped me so many years ago.
well, i let out a LITTLE of that anger today... and whilst i was
screaming at Mr & Mrs Donovan (when i was 3-5 yrs old), Essam and his
brother (9 years old) ... i punched the ground out of anger, more than a
few times. the anger was directed at its true source - those that made me
impotent in life ...
well, i didn't hear the "pop," but everyone else did... i knew there was
something wrong... wow, was there!!! i thought i had dis-located my
knuckle. not a biggie... yeah right! i even tried to straighten it out /
put it back in place... "slight" error in judgement there... lol ... get
to the hospital after the fact... and i have a 40 degree fracture
(meaning angle of fracture). f**king owe ... dang it hurts ... i did NOT
feel a thing when it happened, nor afterwards - adrenaline? or just one
of the body's own pain killing endorphines... *shrugs* ... i feel better
after letting out even a lil of that anger.
but it's gonna feel worse tomorrow, after the freezing is entirely out.
:s
stevhan
Strangely symbolic. Good for you though, for having the courage and the
strength to confront those memories, share them with others, and process
some of that anger. The little boy in you must be beaming with pride over
all the good work you did today. :) ((((Steve))))
--
Rhiannon
rhiannon_@rogers.com
(rhiannon underscore at rogers dot com)
The Labyrinth of the Divine Miss Rhiannon
a.k.a. The Wondrous One
"I tremble for my country when I reflect that
God is just."
--Thomas Jefferson
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