| Topic: |
Sociology > Depression |
| User: |
"pannah" |
| Date: |
05 Jul 2007 01:42:30 PM |
| Object: |
what is it?,. |
being depressed makes me not want to do things, and to have to be doing
everything lonely and depressed is even harder. If If he were home once in a
while, I am sure I'd be less depressed because we would do lots of things
together we cant do now cus he's always at work.
Am I depressed cus I moved in with a workaholic who is only home on weekends
or is that just my new excuse for my (bipolar)depression that I still have
despite being on depakote and respirdal, both of which I believe, helps a
lot of my problems but not the depression at all. I have no will , drive,
ambition or desires. I just want him to come home and do things with me.
When he's home, I'm not depressed at all, I don't sleep 12 hrs , I don't
feel bad, I do whatever he wants, bikeride, hike, kayak, boat, fish, dinner
, whatever. Alone, I stare at walls and watch tv. what's wrong with me?
There's so much I'd like to be doing but I'm not.
.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: what is it?,. |
05 Jul 2007 02:38:51 PM |
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On Jul 5, 11:42 am, "pannah" <pan...@t8kthisoutwildblue.net> wrote:
being depressed makes me not want to do things, and to have to be doing
everything lonely and depressed is even harder. If If he were home once in a
while, I am sure I'd be less depressed because we would do lots of things
together we cant do now cus he's always at work.
Am I depressed cus I moved in with a workaholic who is only home on weekends
or is that just my new excuse for my (bipolar)depression that I still have
despite being on depakote and respirdal, both of which I believe, helps a
lot of my problems but not the depression at all. I have no will , drive,
ambition or desires. I just want him to come home and do things with me.
When he's home, I'm not depressed at all, I don't sleep 12 hrs , I don't
feel bad, I do whatever he wants, bikeride, hike, kayak, boat, fish, dinner
, whatever. Alone, I stare at walls and watch tv. what's wrong with me?
There's so much I'd like to be doing but I'm not.
This is difficult to answer since I can relate to your struggles. I
don't know why you are depressed, except that I know there are both
biological and environmental components for most people. For me, I
get more depressed when I'm alone too. Being lonely is a valid
feeling, but the extreme to which I feel it is exasperated by my
depression...in other words, I don't think that people who don't have
clinical depression (in general, of course there are exceptions such
as those who are grieving loss and/or have other mitigating
circumstances) feel loneliness less than the extremes that I feel it.
Yes, loneliness by itself, even more so combined with depression,
makes it harder to do the things I have to and the things I'd
otherwise enjoy.
I know though that it's unhealthy for me to be overly reliant on my
husband's company to keep me from being as depressed. But I also know
he is gone a lot, a factual statement about the amount of time he's
gone and not just how it seems to me. For me, there's nothing I can
do about it because of the very lengthy commute he has and he needs to
put in a full day's work before coming home. If there was something I
could do about it, if talking to my husband about it to see if we
could come to some better compromise for a schedule that worked for
him but more suited what I needed and wanted, then I would do that.
I can't answer why you are depressed, but if you have been diagnosed
as having bi-polar depression, my thoughts are that you have
depression before external events add to or help ease that
depression. I wouldn't go off of your meds at all, you may not feel
it helps your depression right now, but things could get a lot worse.
I'm sure I don't have to tell you that. I sure wish I knew what to
tell you to do....I could suggest finding other people to build
friendships with, venture out into your community for things that
interest you, or to volunteer in some way if you want to. I hope
things get better for you. Take care....
~Rose
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| User: "pannah" |
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| Title: Re: what is it?,. |
05 Jul 2007 02:58:06 PM |
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<smudgedrose@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1183664331.959064.217350@i13g2000prf.googlegroups.com...
On Jul 5, 11:42 am, "pannah" <pan...@t8kthisoutwildblue.net> wrote:
being depressed makes me not want to do things, and to have to be doing
everything lonely and depressed is even harder. If If he were home once
in a
while, I am sure I'd be less depressed because we would do lots of things
together we cant do now cus he's always at work.
Am I depressed cus I moved in with a workaholic who is only home on
weekends
or is that just my new excuse for my (bipolar)depression that I still
have
despite being on depakote and respirdal, both of which I believe, helps a
lot of my problems but not the depression at all. I have no will , drive,
ambition or desires. I just want him to come home and do things with me.
When he's home, I'm not depressed at all, I don't sleep 12 hrs , I don't
feel bad, I do whatever he wants, bikeride, hike, kayak, boat, fish,
dinner
, whatever. Alone, I stare at walls and watch tv. what's wrong with me?
There's so much I'd like to be doing but I'm not.
This is difficult to answer since I can relate to your struggles. I
don't know why you are depressed, except that I know there are both
biological and environmental components for most people. For me, I
get more depressed when I'm alone too. Being lonely is a valid
feeling, but the extreme to which I feel it is exasperated by my
depression...in other words, I don't think that people who don't have
clinical depression (in general, of course there are exceptions such
as those who are grieving loss and/or have other mitigating
circumstances) feel loneliness less than the extremes that I feel it.
Yes, loneliness by itself, even more so combined with depression,
makes it harder to do the things I have to and the things I'd
otherwise enjoy.
I know though that it's unhealthy for me to be overly reliant on my
husband's company to keep me from being as depressed. But I also know
he is gone a lot, a factual statement about the amount of time he's
gone and not just how it seems to me. For me, there's nothing I can
do about it because of the very lengthy commute he has and he needs to
put in a full day's work before coming home. If there was something I
could do about it, if talking to my husband about it to see if we
could come to some better compromise for a schedule that worked for
him but more suited what I needed and wanted, then I would do that.
I can't answer why you are depressed, but if you have been diagnosed
as having bi-polar depression, my thoughts are that you have
depression before external events add to or help ease that
depression. I wouldn't go off of your meds at all, you may not feel
it helps your depression right now, but things could get a lot worse.
I'm sure I don't have to tell you that. I sure wish I knew what to
tell you to do....I could suggest finding other people to build
friendships with, venture out into your community for things that
interest you, or to volunteer in some way if you want to. I hope
things get better for you. Take care....
~Rose
Thanks for answering.You're right, he's right, he says the same thing, go
out, do things, get a volunteer job, but it's not that easy. Volunteer jobs
are often jobs that require good social skills and are often social work
jobs. Those are demanding jobs. I don't know who to call cus I don't really
want tow ork with the cancer kids, too depressing, like elderly and
homeless. Then I run out of ideas, besides bagging groceries at
pricechopper. I have a job, it's part time but I still dread going to it and
I go to day treatment 3 times a week. This week we missed a day from the
holiday so I was especially bored.
Sometimes I think the meds are causing me to feel this way, but I remember
without the meds how I was and decide I better stay on them. Plus I love how
much better I sleep now. I've only been on meds 8 months, sometimes I'm
afraid what they will do to me after years of being on them. IF they are
causing me to lose my drive, will I ever get it back if I quit them anyway,
I'll never know.
Take care.
.
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| User: "lisa in mass." |
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| Title: Re: what is it?,. |
05 Jul 2007 03:04:04 PM |
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pannah wrote...
Thanks for answering.You're right, he's right, he says the
same thing, go out, do things, get a volunteer job, but
it's not that easy. Volunteer jobs are often jobs that
require good social skills and are often social work jobs.
Those are demanding jobs. I don't know who to call cus I
don't really want tow ork with the cancer kids, too
depressing, like elderly and homeless. Then I run out of
ideas, besides bagging groceries at pricechopper.
Volunteer at your local library?
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| User: "pannah" |
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| Title: Re: what is it?,. |
05 Jul 2007 03:10:05 PM |
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"lisa in mass." <mccats@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:Xns9964A37268B2Bmccatsjavanetcom@130.133.1.4...
pannah wrote...
Thanks for answering.You're right, he's right, he says the
same thing, go out, do things, get a volunteer job, but
it's not that easy. Volunteer jobs are often jobs that
require good social skills and are often social work jobs.
Those are demanding jobs. I don't know who to call cus I
don't really want tow ork with the cancer kids, too
depressing, like elderly and homeless. Then I run out of
ideas, besides bagging groceries at pricechopper.
Volunteer at your local library?
that's not a bad idea. i'm sure they need people to put the books back on
the shelfs, but can I do that? all those letters and numbers jumping around.
not sure, I could try it tho.
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| User: "canewday" |
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| Title: Re: what is it?,. |
07 Jul 2007 12:37:45 AM |
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On Jul 5, 1:42 pm, "pannah" <pan...@t8kthisoutwildblue.net> wrote:
being depressed makes me not want to do things, and to have to be doing
everything lonely and depressed is even harder. If If he were home once in a
while, I am sure I'd be less depressed because we would do lots of things
together we cant do now cus he's always at work.
Am I depressed cus I moved in with a workaholic who is only home on weekends
or is that just my new excuse for my (bipolar)depression that I still have
despite being on depakote and respirdal, both of which I believe, helps a
lot of my problems but not the depression at all. I have no will , drive,
ambition or desires. I just want him to come home and do things with me.
When he's home, I'm not depressed at all, I don't sleep 12 hrs , I don't
feel bad, I do whatever he wants, bikeride, hike, kayak, boat, fish, dinner
, whatever. Alone, I stare at walls and watch tv. what's wrong with me?
There's so much I'd like to be doing but I'm not.
pannah, I can really relate to how you feel. When I go through a
"depression spurt", I also don't feel like doing anything. I would
rather just lay down, cover my head up, and just forget about the
world around me. But unfortunately, I can't because I have a pretty
demanding job that's fulltime, and I have 3 children, plus their
friends that are always around and call me "mom" too. I get so that I
don't want to do the dishes, I don't want to cook or clean- but my
youngest is 8 years old, and there are times I just don't feel like
"playing", I think it's my kids that suffer for my depression.
Although my boys are older, they are pretty supportive, but they are
busy with their own lives, I want to see them happy and active, so I
try not to vent my problems to them. So, my depression is there
whether I'm alone or not. And usually when I'm going through a
depression, that's pretty severe, I don't feel like being around
people, I don't want them to see me that way....so I try to stay away
from everyone. However it is good that this man you are with brings
out the positive things in you and motivates you to do the things you
enjoy doing. I really commend him and you for that. Be happy for what
you have. A lot of people that suffer with depression, do not have
that special person in their lives...it's good that you do. I don't
know that I helped, but I know in some ways I can relate with how you
are feeling. SO. You are not alone. canewday.
.
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| User: "suburban dude" |
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| Title: Re: what is it?,. |
05 Jul 2007 02:40:57 PM |
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On Jul 5, 1:42 pm, "pannah" <pan...@t8kthisoutwildblue.net> wrote:
being depressed makes me not want to do things, and to have to be doing
everything lonely and depressed is even harder. If If he were home once in a
while, I am sure I'd be less depressed because we would do lots of things
together we cant do now cus he's always at work.
Am I depressed cus I moved in with a workaholic who is only home on weekends
or is that just my new excuse for my (bipolar)depression that I still have
despite being on depakote and respirdal, both of which I believe, helps a
lot of my problems but not the depression at all. I have no will , drive,
ambition or desires. I just want him to come home and do things with me.
When he's home, I'm not depressed at all, I don't sleep 12 hrs , I don't
feel bad, I do whatever he wants, bikeride, hike, kayak, boat, fish, dinner
, whatever. Alone, I stare at walls and watch tv. what's wrong with me?
There's so much I'd like to be doing but I'm not.
you don't like being alone, that's natural. i relate to some of
what you said.
while he's not around, can you "and the girls" get together to have
some fun?
just an idea.
.
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| User: "pannah" |
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| Title: Re: what is it?,. |
05 Jul 2007 03:00:30 PM |
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"suburban dude" <suburbanlife@mail.com> wrote in message
news:1183664457.529124.166000@q75g2000hsh.googlegroups.com...
On Jul 5, 1:42 pm, "pannah" <pan...@t8kthisoutwildblue.net> wrote:
being depressed makes me not want to do things, and to have to be doing
everything lonely and depressed is even harder. If If he were home once
in a
while, I am sure I'd be less depressed because we would do lots of things
together we cant do now cus he's always at work.
Am I depressed cus I moved in with a workaholic who is only home on
weekends
or is that just my new excuse for my (bipolar)depression that I still
have
despite being on depakote and respirdal, both of which I believe, helps a
lot of my problems but not the depression at all. I have no will , drive,
ambition or desires. I just want him to come home and do things with me.
When he's home, I'm not depressed at all, I don't sleep 12 hrs , I don't
feel bad, I do whatever he wants, bikeride, hike, kayak, boat, fish,
dinner
, whatever. Alone, I stare at walls and watch tv. what's wrong with me?
There's so much I'd like to be doing but I'm not.
you don't like being alone, that's natural. i relate to some of
what you said.
while he's not around, can you "and the girls" get together to have
some fun?
just an idea.
good idea if there were some girls, I don't have any friends. no one wants
to leave their own house. you make friends with someone and it's all
dependent on being at their house or you dont see them at all. that's what I
get from people I make friends with, their house or no where.
.
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| User: "Fast Recovery" |
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| Title: Re: what is it?,. |
05 Jul 2007 02:37:35 PM |
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On Thu, 5 Jul 2007 14:42:30 -0400, "pannah"
<pannah@t8kthisoutwildblue.net> wrote:
being depressed makes me not want to do things, and to have to be doing
everything lonely and depressed is even harder. If If he were home once in a
while, I am sure I'd be less depressed because we would do lots of things
together we cant do now cus he's always at work.
Am I depressed cus I moved in with a workaholic who is only home on weekends
or is that just my new excuse for my (bipolar)depression that I still have
despite being on depakote and respirdal, both of which I believe, helps a
lot of my problems but not the depression at all. I have no will , drive,
ambition or desires. I just want him to come home and do things with me.
When he's home, I'm not depressed at all, I don't sleep 12 hrs , I don't
feel bad, I do whatever he wants, bikeride, hike, kayak, boat, fish, dinner
, whatever. Alone, I stare at walls and watch tv. what's wrong with me?
There's so much I'd like to be doing but I'm not.
I suspect you're not facing your fears. You're trying to run away. In
order to turn it around you have to face your fears and reconnect with
humanity.
That's what helped me along with sitting down and doing CBT and REBT
nearly every day for 20 years. By the way, it didn't take 20 years to
get better. It took a promise to myself to keep trying no matte what
and work, work, work.
Books:
Feeling Good by David Burns.
A New Guide to Rational Living by Albert Ellis.
.
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| User: "pannah" |
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| Title: Re: what is it?,. |
05 Jul 2007 03:04:17 PM |
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"Fast Recovery" <flying14@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:crhq83l63qjle6qufovb0gb1bflg92tg09@4ax.com...
On Thu, 5 Jul 2007 14:42:30 -0400, "pannah"
<pannah@t8kthisoutwildblue.net> wrote:
being depressed makes me not want to do things, and to have to be doing
everything lonely and depressed is even harder. If If he were home once in
a
while, I am sure I'd be less depressed because we would do lots of things
together we cant do now cus he's always at work.
Am I depressed cus I moved in with a workaholic who is only home on
weekends
or is that just my new excuse for my (bipolar)depression that I still have
despite being on depakote and respirdal, both of which I believe, helps a
lot of my problems but not the depression at all. I have no will , drive,
ambition or desires. I just want him to come home and do things with me.
When he's home, I'm not depressed at all, I don't sleep 12 hrs , I don't
feel bad, I do whatever he wants, bikeride, hike, kayak, boat, fish,
dinner
, whatever. Alone, I stare at walls and watch tv. what's wrong with me?
There's so much I'd like to be doing but I'm not.
I suspect you're not facing your fears. You're trying to run away. In
order to turn it around you have to face your fears and reconnect with
humanity.
That's what helped me along with sitting down and doing CBT and REBT
nearly every day for 20 years. By the way, it didn't take 20 years to
get better. It took a promise to myself to keep trying no matte what
and work, work, work.
Books:
Feeling Good by David Burns.
A New Guide to Rational Living by Albert Ellis.
I'll check those books out, thanks.
.
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