| Topic: |
Science > Philosophy |
| User: |
"svanier" |
| Date: |
20 Jun 2004 09:43:47 AM |
| Object: |
Now to get up at 6 am on Sunday and go to work. |
****SPV....I have nothing but serves in my car while everyone is
starving. I have a pile of work and a pile of bills where the work is
done and Proofed and billed yet they have yet to pay me. I have this
huge account in Denver that pays twice a month like clockwork but I live
with a constant fear of losing this account because they keep changing
things internally and I am at the whim of people that really do not bone
very well. I mean there are 4 women and one has not given me any work
in two weeks but still they are giving me 10 to 15 cases a week and that
comes out to 50 or sixty cases a month and that is a lot. Soon I will
have been working at this rate for them for a year.
But as everyone else is starving in this business because of summer and
people go on vacation and the law business is slow in summer I have no
overhead so it is all gravy to me. Two weeks ago I spent all my money
on my credit cards and paying bills. I had over $2,300 and I was down
to $100 but now I have over a thousand in the checking again and still
some good time left in this month. A full week and a 1/2 and I have two
weekends where the serves are very easy to do. I pray for more business
because I am only working a couple of hours a day during the week
besides answering the phone and then all weekend when I have the work.
So just the facts. I have been reading Rudi's Spiritual Cannibalism to
you and his thoughts are disjointed also and he does not have the grasp
of the material like I do. I feel the guy dying at 47 from the strain
of it and having a heart attack was unfortunate. Have you see what I
call blessing you in person and the strain that it puts on your system.
I am sure that it can ruputure a vessel in the brain or break your
heart and sometimes I come close to fainting from the strain but then I
stopped doing it because it would be awful to just be doing good works
and to die right in front of everyone like Yogananada did when he gave
that speech and croked right in front of the crowd at age 52. That's
what age I am going to be next birthday.
I was born in 1952 just two years after the death of Nityananda and
Gurdjieff.
Oh, well the real proof is in the writing and not in the claims. When
you have someone like the Buddha who says, "Don't believe anything you
read unless it is proven by your own reasoning and experience. Not even
if I have said it." This is from the Buddha.
Now what is the deal with the Ashram. They have one person over there
reading and he went on vacation and now no more messages? I am trying
to get them more creative, trying to get them to reach beyond themselves
so they might taste the wonder of the things I say and they just are
frozen. And why? Because that woman lied and I went to jail like Jesus
did? Because I was mean and nasty to her? Because I said what I said
about Jesus? Because they never get the foundation right so I don't go
in there because they can't seem to talk coherently? Why? And do I
need to start over? Tell me this morning when you get time or bother to
read this and put up your message. Are you out of the game now? Did I
go too far and you quit?
.
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