| Topic: |
Science > Philosophy |
| User: |
"Gerry" |
| Date: |
23 Jun 2004 09:03:01 AM |
| Object: |
Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
I have been in a relationship for a couple of months with a woman who
has been at various times diagnosed schizophrenic and psychotic. I had
known her for two years before. I realise that some reading this have
been similarly diagnosed and I hope I don't cause any offence here. I
need some feedback to put me better in the picture.
This woman talks of a 'goddess' and a 'muse' and a 'sucubus' and
believes they are not metaphorical fragments of her psyche. At the
same time, she thinks that nothing is real. It's not quite possible to
understand what she means by this (I suppose any more than it's
possible to understand someone making the opposite claim). I suppose
even the cultural make-up of the neurologically atypical is
deconstructable (it's constituent constructs can be undermined) and
intertextual (a product of cross-pollinated ideas rather than
referencing any objective reality) in its frabric.
I'm sometimes scared of her because of her sexuality: she has
impulses to drink blood from quite a deep wound that she'd make, in a
partner, i.e. currently me, and so on.
Her voice and mood changes very suddenly - sometimes she sounds
very refined and intelligent, and other times she becomes girlish. I
feel for her greatly at times, and I've told her I love her. It became
love, I feel, when she told me about being pimped by her own mother
when she was at school. She says she got enjoyment from this sex with
peaodophiles because there was not anything like affection coming from
elsewhere, which i can understand, albeit at the same times as feeling
chilled. I say it became love because I'm in awe at what she's
survived, and feel compassion for her for it, though I myself have far
milder mental health problems, i.e depression and anxiety.
I have a degree and am a published writer and feel I am fairly
lucid. I am also open-minded and have considered what I feel is the
slight pssibility that these muses and goddesses are in some way real.
So I've said to her to ask them to talk to me. I'm not expecting
anything.
This morning I awoke and immediately was in tears because I often
think now that I made a mistake in embarking on this relationship. I
feel often out of my depth and worry that she might kill me or harm
me, though we have shared a bed now, mutually agreeing without sex as
yet, and things seem fine. I can't leave her, because i think - as is
intimated, though not in a blackmailish way, she will try to kill
herself, or at least that it will cause a breakdown of some kind. This
happened at the end of her last relationship. I hope either that the
relationship improves and that my being with her helps her, or that
she tells me she wants ot finish it. I've said to her three times that
if she wants to end it - i was reacting to a suspicion that she might
- I would still be her friend and support her, which she seems happy
with.
I can't bear the thought that I'm meant to abandon her as if she
were a latterday dodo - though I can blackly observe that she may at
times feel like an albatross.
Prior to meeting me she was taking some ridiculous risks, and for
example once escaped being murdered by a man who'd injected her with
rohypnol. She talks of 'crossing boundaries' and being thrilled by
inflicting and feeling pain. Then this week when she expressed pain at
the thought of me looking at other women - which if i _fleetingly_ do
it's when I'm apart from her, living as I do 30 miles away. I would
never shove it in her face. She said to me that she wanted me to be an
'angel' and so on, and that she knows it's an impossible wish; that
is, she has all that dark in her but hasn't grasped that all sorts of
desires are in everyone, without our needing to act on them or regard
them as important. She seems ot have forgotten her own imperfections
at that point. Indeed she would seem to want me to be several hues
lighter than herself.
She has used a number of different names, but it's not like they're
separate personalities - she's aware that the different names are her
choices. She even said that the newest name was her trying to start
anew. I was surprised recently to find that the name i call her isn't
hers, and I'm going to say to her that I want ot call her by the name
on her birth certificate and passport; I wanted to change my name once
to start anew but I think it's a good 'religious choice' to make the
most of what we're saddled with, and sticking with one's name is a
good reminder of this, kind of like a linguistic bindi.
She has medication, she has psychiatrists and nurses and social
workers and so on, and spent a portion of her 20s in hospital. She
says that her diagnosis now is 'psychotic' rather than schizophrenic.
I'm not one for trusting the labels, but going by the hallucinations
she has and the 'muse', etc, she has the traits that come under
schizophrenia.
What do you think? Is this hopeless? I'm not inclined to think she
was born like this, though there may have been some potential
genetically, as her parents are mental health workers and I can see
from my own life how inclinations can be passed on, for example though
I'm adopted both me and my birth father who I'd not met till 2000
played the guitar from the age of 14. She has had such awful
experiences that her ways and beliefs are likely her way of dealing
with this stuff. I tell myself I'd like to go as far to curing her as
love can go, and i can see I've done some good, and it's early days.
She's very grateful for me. I'm attracted to her physically and
personality-wise, with the exception of the stuff about blood, and I
don't like her friends, largely abusive ex-prospective boyfriends that
she's kept hold of. I feel burdened by these and don't want ot have to
get to know them. I suppose she doesn't - yet - have the self-esteem
to get shot of them.
I would also welcome any people with a diagnosis of schizophrenia
who'd be willing to e'mail me and tell me their experience of the
condition (or whatever you regard it to be), particularly if it
involves goddesses and muses, to help me better get the lay of the
land with my girlfriend. I can't see her as often as i like, because
of the distance between our homes, and our finances, so though we'll
get to know each other better, if i come ot know more about others
with the diagnosis I'll be getting more knowledgeable in genreal and
be able ot apply it, which hopefully is a good thing. I will be
looking for up-to-date and well-written internet resources on
schizophrenia, also - some i've found aren't any good, but people here
may know of good ones.
Many thanks for any replies - postings and e'mails equally welcome.
.
|
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| User: "Hawk" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
29 Jun 2004 02:03:50 PM |
|
|
"Gerry" <gerryhandke@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:5b54fc3b.0406230603.6b0199fa@posting.google.com...
I have been in a relationship for a couple of months with a woman who
has been at various times diagnosed schizophrenic and psychotic. I had
known her for two years before. I realise that some reading this have
been similarly diagnosed and I hope I don't cause any offence here. I
need some feedback to put me better in the picture.
This woman talks of a 'goddess' and a 'muse' and a 'sucubus' and
believes they are not metaphorical fragments of her psyche. At the
same time, she thinks that nothing is real. It's not quite possible to
understand what she means by this (I suppose any more than it's
possible to understand someone making the opposite claim). I suppose
even the cultural make-up of the neurologically atypical is
deconstructable (it's constituent constructs can be undermined) and
intertextual (a product of cross-pollinated ideas rather than
referencing any objective reality) in its frabric.
I'm sometimes scared of her because of her sexuality: she has
impulses to drink blood from quite a deep wound that she'd make, in a
partner, i.e. currently me, and so on.
Her voice and mood changes very suddenly - sometimes she sounds
very refined and intelligent, and other times she becomes girlish. I
feel for her greatly at times, and I've told her I love her. It became
love, I feel, when she told me about being pimped by her own mother
when she was at school. She says she got enjoyment from this sex with
peaodophiles because there was not anything like affection coming from
elsewhere, which i can understand, albeit at the same times as feeling
chilled. I say it became love because I'm in awe at what she's
survived, and feel compassion for her for it, though I myself have far
milder mental health problems, i.e depression and anxiety.
I have a degree and am a published writer and feel I am fairly
lucid. I am also open-minded and have considered what I feel is the
slight pssibility that these muses and goddesses are in some way real.
So I've said to her to ask them to talk to me. I'm not expecting
anything.
This morning I awoke and immediately was in tears because I often
think now that I made a mistake in embarking on this relationship. I
feel often out of my depth and worry that she might kill me or harm
me, though we have shared a bed now, mutually agreeing without sex as
yet, and things seem fine. I can't leave her, because i think - as is
intimated, though not in a blackmailish way, she will try to kill
herself, or at least that it will cause a breakdown of some kind. This
happened at the end of her last relationship. I hope either that the
relationship improves and that my being with her helps her, or that
she tells me she wants ot finish it. I've said to her three times that
if she wants to end it - i was reacting to a suspicion that she might
- I would still be her friend and support her, which she seems happy
with.
I can't bear the thought that I'm meant to abandon her as if she
were a latterday dodo - though I can blackly observe that she may at
times feel like an albatross.
Prior to meeting me she was taking some ridiculous risks, and for
example once escaped being murdered by a man who'd injected her with
rohypnol. She talks of 'crossing boundaries' and being thrilled by
inflicting and feeling pain. Then this week when she expressed pain at
the thought of me looking at other women - which if i _fleetingly_ do
it's when I'm apart from her, living as I do 30 miles away. I would
never shove it in her face. She said to me that she wanted me to be an
'angel' and so on, and that she knows it's an impossible wish; that
is, she has all that dark in her but hasn't grasped that all sorts of
desires are in everyone, without our needing to act on them or regard
them as important. She seems ot have forgotten her own imperfections
at that point. Indeed she would seem to want me to be several hues
lighter than herself.
She has used a number of different names, but it's not like they're
separate personalities - she's aware that the different names are her
choices. She even said that the newest name was her trying to start
anew. I was surprised recently to find that the name i call her isn't
hers, and I'm going to say to her that I want ot call her by the name
on her birth certificate and passport; I wanted to change my name once
to start anew but I think it's a good 'religious choice' to make the
most of what we're saddled with, and sticking with one's name is a
good reminder of this, kind of like a linguistic bindi.
She has medication, she has psychiatrists and nurses and social
workers and so on, and spent a portion of her 20s in hospital. She
says that her diagnosis now is 'psychotic' rather than schizophrenic.
I'm not one for trusting the labels, but going by the hallucinations
she has and the 'muse', etc, she has the traits that come under
schizophrenia.
What do you think? Is this hopeless? I'm not inclined to think she
was born like this, though there may have been some potential
genetically, as her parents are mental health workers and I can see
from my own life how inclinations can be passed on, for example though
I'm adopted both me and my birth father who I'd not met till 2000
played the guitar from the age of 14. She has had such awful
experiences that her ways and beliefs are likely her way of dealing
with this stuff. I tell myself I'd like to go as far to curing her as
love can go, and i can see I've done some good, and it's early days.
She's very grateful for me. I'm attracted to her physically and
personality-wise, with the exception of the stuff about blood, and I
don't like her friends, largely abusive ex-prospective boyfriends that
she's kept hold of. I feel burdened by these and don't want ot have to
get to know them. I suppose she doesn't - yet - have the self-esteem
to get shot of them.
I would also welcome any people with a diagnosis of schizophrenia
who'd be willing to e'mail me and tell me their experience of the
condition (or whatever you regard it to be), particularly if it
involves goddesses and muses, to help me better get the lay of the
land with my girlfriend. I can't see her as often as i like, because
of the distance between our homes, and our finances, so though we'll
get to know each other better, if i come ot know more about others
with the diagnosis I'll be getting more knowledgeable in genreal and
be able ot apply it, which hopefully is a good thing. I will be
looking for up-to-date and well-written internet resources on
schizophrenia, also - some i've found aren't any good, but people here
may know of good ones.
Many thanks for any replies - postings and e'mails equally welcome.
I would ignore women for the current time.
They will also talk of Magik and spells, don't be sucked into the woman
nightmare of being mysterious etCETERA etCETERA etCETERA when what man wants
is purely a partner who is IN-TER-EST-ING!!!
.
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| User: "Gerry" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? - update |
12 Jul 2004 07:40:58 AM |
|
|
Here’s an update on my situation. It’s ongoing, and
remains strange to say the least, and I am thinking of trying to
solicit some kind of actual outside help, i.e. not just advice.
I’m not meaning to solicit that here, though.
It was awful to come to the point I did, but I ended up trying to
finish the relationship. Because we live in different towns separated
by 30 miles and I don’t drive, I used the phone for this. She
became hysterical. We spoke on the phone for about an hour and I felt
terrible. She was obviously coming quickly unravelled in the head, and
it transpired that after the call she set about deleting all my txts
and realised she could not attend a venue that we both go to –
though I’d also decided not to go there again anyway. I can
understand her behaviour, because when things became unfixable with
my first love 5 years ago I began sending her gifts and photos back to
her, doing the same erasing.
After an hour with my head in my hands she sent me a txt message
saying that she couldn’t ‘cope with this’. I wanted
her to ring. I’d decided that I’d made a mistake and that
all the things she said about me in the call where I’d called an
end to things were very loving, because they were so attentive to what
I’m about, so sensitive to me in ways
no other has been, and I can’t imagine having that again. And
no, I can't view it as emotional blackmail, because someone operating
on that level wouldn't want me anyway, would want someone more
traditionally manly, and materially exploiitable, and would be too
shallow to see what I'm about, my artistic and secularly spiritual
pursuits. ...Then, she did ring. She told
me the trouble she was having with the split and I said, “What
if I made a mistake?” she said she couldn’t imagine being
able to trust me and relax after what had happened and that it was no
good. That was when I offered that we could get engaged. This may seem
somewhat cranky to some people reading, but my thinking was that given
this woman’s harrowing past and my own flagging interest in my
life after a decade or so of
occasionally suicidal depression, helping this woman, and accepting
her love – because she has been encouraging and supportive and
perceptive and so on, all the things you’d want in a
relationship – would be the most dignified, beautiful and right
thing to do with
my life.
The week subsequently was one of phone calls and txts of excitement
about our future. I had anyway just seen the Mike Myers film ‘So
I Married an Axe Muderer’ which seemed to convey what I had
begun thinking about myself and about men and their perceptions of
women and relationships. Perhaps, I thought, seeing as I’m
someone who accepts that everyone has some dark in them, and that I
do, perhaps I’ve merely inflated this woman’s honesty
about her dark, and perhaps I’ve been scared more about
jettisioning my own solitude, having been single all my life.
I’ve spent another weekend with her now, and her child likes
me, and the sexual aspect has progressed, though with mutual agreement
not to any penetration. It is lovely to sleep in a bed with someone,
and experience the other pregnancy- and other risk-avoiding things we
did. I am struggling with some things emotionally, aspects of sexual
activity that might to some signify bad things, such as ejaculating on
the face, which was
requested, even after my seeking assurance that she genuinely wants
and likes it and isn’t just trying to please an archetypal man.
I’ve read Nancy Friday’s Women On Top, and though it
opened my eyes and undid to an extent the twinkly eyelashed, pink bows
view of women that my upbringing upheld, I recognise I’m still
uptight. It upset me to do what I just described, though I also
wanted it too. We have spanked and used a belt on each other, and not
particularly hard, and certainly without any ugly language. I would
not at all allow this if it was not mutual, because I could not
allow a perceivable or actual power imbalance, other than the other
_fluctuating_ one regarding our both having up and down mental health
where one is sometimes doing the supporting and sometimes the other.
As things are, we are enjoying the thrilling sting of the belt and
hand,
rather than it being dark.
We had lots of conversation, which veered between proving her
obvious intelligence, and the most unfounded new age gobbledegook
– numerology, spells, past lives, etc.
I left a bit tired, not being used to being with someone for any
longer than three hours at a time much less 4 days, and then went home
and slept.
This woman allowed me to use her computer. Though I felt bad about
it and initially chose not to, I copied some abandoned letters to
me onto a disk and have read them this morning. There was almost
nothing to worry about, bar - a reference to threatening to bite a
plumber who wanted to get into her attic, and she was keen that I
didn’t follow
her there while I was with her. She has told me she wants to order
some ram’s heads, and surrendered this fact with a query as to
whether this sort of thing freaks me out.
English artists are doing this kind of thing round the clock, and
there’s no reason why an artistic person who doesn’t have
gallery exposure wouldn’t do too. It does make me feel
uncomfortable in varying amounts, but I don’t know whether I
should be feeling
like this. She did as a child kill some cats by crushing their heads
under chair legs. She did this on a couple of occasions, and was
smiling as she told me this, though she was drunk and only talked this
way when drunk; and yes, I am disturbed by this. I have successfully
managed to get her to cut down with the drink on the whole.
I have thought this morning about investigating the attic while
she’s out next time I’m over her’s – but I
think everything is in sacks, which would be a case of investigation
hard to cover up, particularly if I find no reason ot just run off
should I discover
something (and I’ve imagined human skeletons, animals, flesh,
child porn, or maybe just chains, leather bondage gear, and most
likely of all, paintings of disturbing things like the succubus I
mentioned in the original posting). She did also once mention in a txt
when she had cancelled a visit by me once through fear of my being
disgusted with her unclean home,
though mine is not too good either - that she could only put bin bags
out in the dark; I have not attached anything to this before because
she wears sunglasses during the day, doesn’t like natural light
and wouldn’t watch us kiss in a mirror – perhaps
she’s seriously and neurotically misunderstood a book on
vampires.
I have thought about talking to the police and the social services.
I do not want to risk getting her incarcerated, in hospital or prison,
especially when I have no proof, only the unreliable evidence of the
strands of personality that might corroborate to create an echo of my
imaginings in others. She went out to use the phone a couple of times
– no credit on her mobile – and had set her mobile up so
that it would redirect calls (people couldn’t get through, but a
message reached her.) As portrayed, and it’s possible, this was
an accident, as it’s a new phone. She let me look at her phone
and there was nothing untoward – indeed my number was the only
one stored there, and there were no txts
from others.
I worry that I could end up dead in the attic, and that the calls
she was making rather than being to her parents, were to an
accomplice. I worry that she is like a female Ian
Brady looking for an accomplice, and that that is why she was quizzing
me about my sexuality and so on, though this does not tally up with
her admiration of my artistic efforts, some published. I am as you can
tell, not prone to being under-imaginitve, or at least
of filtering my experience through the most fearful newspaper stories,
like Mike Myers’ character in the aforementioned film.
I think also of going in there ‘wired for sound and
vision’ by the police, or engaging a private detective – I
don’t have the money but am about to come into £200. (Yes, I
know - that'll be two hours' work paid for.)
I think also that maybe she took some wrong turns and now because
she’s found me, someone who accommodates the higher portions of
her, which were ignored or thwarted by her abusive upbringing, perhaps
she’s turning over a new leaf. I don’t have ‘the
soul of a cop’ and so I can’t just throw her to them.
Even so, if I switch off all of what is possibly just paranoia, I
love the woman that
remains.
"Hawk" <hawk@nowhere.com> wrote in message news:<LWjEc.100$wK6.64@newsfe2-win>...
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| User: "Raan" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
24 Jun 2004 07:22:41 AM |
|
|
"Gerry" <gerryhandke@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:5b54fc3b.0406230603.6b0199fa@posting.google.com...
I have been in a relationship for a couple of months with a woman who
has been at various times diagnosed schizophrenic and psychotic. I had
known her for two years before. I realise that some reading this have
been similarly diagnosed and I hope I don't cause any offence here. I
need some feedback to put me better in the picture.
This woman talks of a 'goddess' and a 'muse' and a 'sucubus' and
believes they are not metaphorical fragments of her psyche. At the
same time, she thinks that nothing is real. It's not quite possible to
understand what she means by this (I suppose any more than it's
possible to understand someone making the opposite claim). I suppose
even the cultural make-up of the neurologically atypical is
deconstructable (it's constituent constructs can be undermined) and
intertextual (a product of cross-pollinated ideas rather than
referencing any objective reality) in its frabric.
I'm sometimes scared of her because of her sexuality: she has
impulses to drink blood from quite a deep wound that she'd make, in a
partner, i.e. currently me, and so on.
Her voice and mood changes very suddenly - sometimes she sounds
very refined and intelligent, and other times she becomes girlish. I
feel for her greatly at times, and I've told her I love her. It became
love, I feel, when she told me about being pimped by her own mother
when she was at school. She says she got enjoyment from this sex with
peaodophiles because there was not anything like affection coming from
elsewhere, which i can understand, albeit at the same times as feeling
chilled. I say it became love because I'm in awe at what she's
survived, and feel compassion for her for it, though I myself have far
milder mental health problems, i.e depression and anxiety.
I have a degree and am a published writer and feel I am fairly
lucid. I am also open-minded and have considered what I feel is the
slight pssibility that these muses and goddesses are in some way real.
So I've said to her to ask them to talk to me. I'm not expecting
anything.
This morning I awoke and immediately was in tears because I often
think now that I made a mistake in embarking on this relationship. I
feel often out of my depth and worry that she might kill me or harm
me, though we have shared a bed now, mutually agreeing without sex as
yet, and things seem fine. I can't leave her, because i think - as is
intimated, though not in a blackmailish way, she will try to kill
herself, or at least that it will cause a breakdown of some kind. This
happened at the end of her last relationship. I hope either that the
relationship improves and that my being with her helps her, or that
she tells me she wants ot finish it. I've said to her three times that
if she wants to end it - i was reacting to a suspicion that she might
- I would still be her friend and support her, which she seems happy
with.
I can't bear the thought that I'm meant to abandon her as if she
were a latterday dodo - though I can blackly observe that she may at
times feel like an albatross.
Prior to meeting me she was taking some ridiculous risks, and for
example once escaped being murdered by a man who'd injected her with
rohypnol. She talks of 'crossing boundaries' and being thrilled by
inflicting and feeling pain. Then this week when she expressed pain at
the thought of me looking at other women - which if i _fleetingly_ do
it's when I'm apart from her, living as I do 30 miles away. I would
never shove it in her face. She said to me that she wanted me to be an
'angel' and so on, and that she knows it's an impossible wish; that
is, she has all that dark in her but hasn't grasped that all sorts of
desires are in everyone, without our needing to act on them or regard
them as important. She seems ot have forgotten her own imperfections
at that point. Indeed she would seem to want me to be several hues
lighter than herself.
She has used a number of different names, but it's not like they're
separate personalities - she's aware that the different names are her
choices. She even said that the newest name was her trying to start
anew. I was surprised recently to find that the name i call her isn't
hers, and I'm going to say to her that I want ot call her by the name
on her birth certificate and passport; I wanted to change my name once
to start anew but I think it's a good 'religious choice' to make the
most of what we're saddled with, and sticking with one's name is a
good reminder of this, kind of like a linguistic bindi.
She has medication, she has psychiatrists and nurses and social
workers and so on, and spent a portion of her 20s in hospital. She
says that her diagnosis now is 'psychotic' rather than schizophrenic.
I'm not one for trusting the labels, but going by the hallucinations
she has and the 'muse', etc, she has the traits that come under
schizophrenia.
What do you think? Is this hopeless? I'm not inclined to think she
was born like this, though there may have been some potential
genetically, as her parents are mental health workers and I can see
from my own life how inclinations can be passed on, for example though
I'm adopted both me and my birth father who I'd not met till 2000
played the guitar from the age of 14. She has had such awful
experiences that her ways and beliefs are likely her way of dealing
with this stuff. I tell myself I'd like to go as far to curing her as
love can go, and i can see I've done some good, and it's early days.
She's very grateful for me. I'm attracted to her physically and
personality-wise, with the exception of the stuff about blood, and I
don't like her friends, largely abusive ex-prospective boyfriends that
she's kept hold of. I feel burdened by these and don't want ot have to
get to know them. I suppose she doesn't - yet - have the self-esteem
to get shot of them.
I would also welcome any people with a diagnosis of schizophrenia
who'd be willing to e'mail me and tell me their experience of the
condition (or whatever you regard it to be), particularly if it
involves goddesses and muses, to help me better get the lay of the
land with my girlfriend. I can't see her as often as i like, because
of the distance between our homes, and our finances, so though we'll
get to know each other better, if i come ot know more about others
with the diagnosis I'll be getting more knowledgeable in genreal and
be able ot apply it, which hopefully is a good thing. I will be
looking for up-to-date and well-written internet resources on
schizophrenia, also - some i've found aren't any good, but people here
may know of good ones.
Many thanks for any replies - postings and e'mails equally welcome.
Out of a sense of duty prompted by a mature love; Be certain she is taking
her medication according to instructions, make sure she keeps appointments
for treatment and follows through, be sure she sleeps well and eats well and
gets exercise, do not encourage nor humor her delusions but stay grounded
and honest, do not hesitate to call for help if she becomes a danger to
herself or to others, if you cannot do this personally see to it that there
is someone to care for her in a responsible fashion. Keep your own sanity.
--
</>
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| User: "Gea Jones" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
23 Jun 2004 04:43:56 PM |
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|
A few ideas, try the newsgroup, alt.love, they can be very helpful,
I think you need to work out exactly what you feel for her and where you
want the relationship to go?
If you are more afraid for/of her when you think about ending it then it
sounds as though you are caught and may need help to get out of the
relationship,
if you really love her then do some research into her illness and be
prepared for sacrificing a lot ,
Good Luck
Gea
"Gerry" <gerryhandke@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:5b54fc3b.0406230603.6b0199fa@posting.google.com...
I have been in a relationship for a couple of months with a woman who
has been at various times diagnosed schizophrenic and psychotic. I had
known her for two years before. I realise that some reading this have
been similarly diagnosed and I hope I don't cause any offence here. I
need some feedback to put me better in the picture.
This woman talks of a 'goddess' and a 'muse' and a 'sucubus' and
believes they are not metaphorical fragments of her psyche. At the
same time, she thinks that nothing is real. It's not quite possible to
understand what she means by this (I suppose any more than it's
possible to understand someone making the opposite claim). I suppose
even the cultural make-up of the neurologically atypical is
deconstructable (it's constituent constructs can be undermined) and
intertextual (a product of cross-pollinated ideas rather than
referencing any objective reality) in its frabric.
I'm sometimes scared of her because of her sexuality: she has
impulses to drink blood from quite a deep wound that she'd make, in a
partner, i.e. currently me, and so on.
Her voice and mood changes very suddenly - sometimes she sounds
very refined and intelligent, and other times she becomes girlish. I
feel for her greatly at times, and I've told her I love her. It became
love, I feel, when she told me about being pimped by her own mother
when she was at school. She says she got enjoyment from this sex with
peaodophiles because there was not anything like affection coming from
elsewhere, which i can understand, albeit at the same times as feeling
chilled. I say it became love because I'm in awe at what she's
survived, and feel compassion for her for it, though I myself have far
milder mental health problems, i.e depression and anxiety.
I have a degree and am a published writer and feel I am fairly
lucid. I am also open-minded and have considered what I feel is the
slight pssibility that these muses and goddesses are in some way real.
So I've said to her to ask them to talk to me. I'm not expecting
anything.
This morning I awoke and immediately was in tears because I often
think now that I made a mistake in embarking on this relationship. I
feel often out of my depth and worry that she might kill me or harm
me, though we have shared a bed now, mutually agreeing without sex as
yet, and things seem fine. I can't leave her, because i think - as is
intimated, though not in a blackmailish way, she will try to kill
herself, or at least that it will cause a breakdown of some kind. This
happened at the end of her last relationship. I hope either that the
relationship improves and that my being with her helps her, or that
she tells me she wants ot finish it. I've said to her three times that
if she wants to end it - i was reacting to a suspicion that she might
- I would still be her friend and support her, which she seems happy
with.
I can't bear the thought that I'm meant to abandon her as if she
were a latterday dodo - though I can blackly observe that she may at
times feel like an albatross.
Prior to meeting me she was taking some ridiculous risks, and for
example once escaped being murdered by a man who'd injected her with
rohypnol. She talks of 'crossing boundaries' and being thrilled by
inflicting and feeling pain. Then this week when she expressed pain at
the thought of me looking at other women - which if i _fleetingly_ do
it's when I'm apart from her, living as I do 30 miles away. I would
never shove it in her face. She said to me that she wanted me to be an
'angel' and so on, and that she knows it's an impossible wish; that
is, she has all that dark in her but hasn't grasped that all sorts of
desires are in everyone, without our needing to act on them or regard
them as important. She seems ot have forgotten her own imperfections
at that point. Indeed she would seem to want me to be several hues
lighter than herself.
She has used a number of different names, but it's not like they're
separate personalities - she's aware that the different names are her
choices. She even said that the newest name was her trying to start
anew. I was surprised recently to find that the name i call her isn't
hers, and I'm going to say to her that I want ot call her by the name
on her birth certificate and passport; I wanted to change my name once
to start anew but I think it's a good 'religious choice' to make the
most of what we're saddled with, and sticking with one's name is a
good reminder of this, kind of like a linguistic bindi.
She has medication, she has psychiatrists and nurses and social
workers and so on, and spent a portion of her 20s in hospital. She
says that her diagnosis now is 'psychotic' rather than schizophrenic.
I'm not one for trusting the labels, but going by the hallucinations
she has and the 'muse', etc, she has the traits that come under
schizophrenia.
What do you think? Is this hopeless? I'm not inclined to think she
was born like this, though there may have been some potential
genetically, as her parents are mental health workers and I can see
from my own life how inclinations can be passed on, for example though
I'm adopted both me and my birth father who I'd not met till 2000
played the guitar from the age of 14. She has had such awful
experiences that her ways and beliefs are likely her way of dealing
with this stuff. I tell myself I'd like to go as far to curing her as
love can go, and i can see I've done some good, and it's early days.
She's very grateful for me. I'm attracted to her physically and
personality-wise, with the exception of the stuff about blood, and I
don't like her friends, largely abusive ex-prospective boyfriends that
she's kept hold of. I feel burdened by these and don't want ot have to
get to know them. I suppose she doesn't - yet - have the self-esteem
to get shot of them.
I would also welcome any people with a diagnosis of schizophrenia
who'd be willing to e'mail me and tell me their experience of the
condition (or whatever you regard it to be), particularly if it
involves goddesses and muses, to help me better get the lay of the
land with my girlfriend. I can't see her as often as i like, because
of the distance between our homes, and our finances, so though we'll
get to know each other better, if i come ot know more about others
with the diagnosis I'll be getting more knowledgeable in genreal and
be able ot apply it, which hopefully is a good thing. I will be
looking for up-to-date and well-written internet resources on
schizophrenia, also - some i've found aren't any good, but people here
may know of good ones.
Many thanks for any replies - postings and e'mails equally welcome.
.
|
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| User: "Berty" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
24 Jun 2004 04:40:48 AM |
|
|
Dear Gerry,
I am diagnosed with schizophrenia and so is my girlfriend.
gerryhandke@hotmail.com (Gerry) wrote in message news:<5b54fc3b.0406230603.6b0199fa@posting.google.com>...
I have been in a relationship for a couple of months with a woman who
has been at various times diagnosed schizophrenic and psychotic. I had
known her for two years before. I realize that some reading this have
been similarly diagnosed and I hope I don't cause any offense here. I
need some feedback to put me better in the picture.
This woman talks of a 'goddess' and a 'muse' and a 'succubus' and
believes they are not metaphorical fragments of her psyche. At the
same time, she thinks that nothing is real. It's not quite possible to
understand what she means by this (I suppose any more than it's
possible to understand someone making the opposite claim).
I think the condition she is in is being delusional.
She probably needs more medication.
Talking about goddesses and muses and succubus you will
find with somebody who is delusional or psychotic.
I recommend you to talk to her psychiatrist about it.
I suppose
even the cultural make-up of the neurologically atypical is
deconstructable (it's constituent constructs can be undermined) and
intertextual (a product of cross-pollinated ideas rather than
referencing any objective reality) in its frabric.
You need to be more down to earth Gerry.
Does anybody ever talked to you about not being able to understand?
I'm sometimes scared of her because of her sexuality: she has
impulses to drink blood from quite a deep wound that she'd make, in a
partner, i.e. currently me, and so on.
Another indication to talk to her psychiatrist about it.
To me she sounds complete nuts and I never met somebody like
her so far and I know about 50 schizophrenics here.
Sometimes I think p-docs give a diagnosis of schizophrenia to
somebody who is plainly a lunatic because they don't know what
else to call it. I still believe there are lunatics (just plain
crazy) and that it is not a illness but it is just the way their brain
works. I assume she takes medication? If she is not taking medication
it would explain her behaviour , if she does take medication, well
mayb she needs a higher dose...
Her voice and mood changes very suddenly - sometimes she sounds
very refined and intelligent, and other times she becomes girlish. I
feel for her greatly at times, and I've told her I love her. It became
love, I feel, when she told me about being pimped by her own mother
when she was at school. She says she got enjoyment from this sex with
peaodophiles because there was not anything like affection coming from
elsewhere, which i can understand, albeit at the same times as feeling
chilled. I say it became love because I'm in awe at what she's
survived, and feel compassion for her for it, though I myself have far
milder mental health problems, i.e depression and anxiety.
Remember a mental patient is also capable of ly-ing and making things up.
You better keep that in mind.
I have a degree and am a published writer and feel I am fairly
lucid.
Quite a lot of people here have a degree too.
I am also open-minded and have considered what I feel is the
slight pssibility that these muses and goddesses are in some way real.
So I've said to her to ask them to talk to me. I'm not expecting
anything.
This morning I awoke and immediately was in tears because I often
think now that I made a mistake in embarking on this relationship. I
Maybe you better end the relationship if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
I am a mental patient myself and I would not have a relationship with this
person you describe myself, I would feel uncomfortable too.
A lot of mental patients are not capable of having a relationship
with a normal person. It is a complex relationship. Many years ago
we had a discussion here about having a relationship with a normalo.
Most of them found it impossible. I hear better results from relationships
with both mental patients. Maybe it is because of the fact that
they recognize the situation better than a normalo would do.
feel often out of my depth and worry that she might kill me or harm
me, though we have shared a bed now, mutually agreeing without sex as
yet, and things seem fine. I can't leave her, because i think - as is
intimated, though not in a blackmailish way, she will try to kill
herself, or at least that it will cause a breakdown of some kind.
My girlfriend tried to kill herself 3 times last year.
It gives you a lot of stress. Attempts to try to commit suicide are
not very rare in schizo world. Some people try to blackmail their
friends and family with it if they cannot get what they want and just
swallow the pills and call 911 after 5 minutes because they know they
are gonna be rescued.
This
happened at the end of her last relationship. I hope either that the
relationship improves and that my being with her helps her, or that
she tells me she wants ot finish it. I've said to her three times that
if she wants to end it - i was reacting to a suspicion that she might
- I would still be her friend and support her, which she seems happy
with.
I can't bear the thought that I'm meant to abandon her as if she
were a latterday dodo - though I can blackly observe that she may at
times feel like an albatross.
How can a man love a woman like that would most normalo's say?
Is that not also in the back of your head?
<snip>
Many thanks for any replies - postings and e'mails equally welcome.
Good luck, you owe her nothing, if you would walk away from her
nobody would hold anything against you.
Remember you are not a medical professional, although to
pursue a relationship like this you kinda ought to be.
Berty
.
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| User: "Flato" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
24 Jun 2004 12:52:25 PM |
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|
Berty wrote:
I am a mental patient myself and I would not have a relationship with this
person you describe myself, I would feel uncomfortable too.
A lot of mental patients are not capable of having a relationship
with a normal person. It is a complex relationship. Many years ago
we had a discussion here about having a relationship with a normalo.
Most of them found it impossible. I hear better results from relationships
with both mental patients. Maybe it is because of the fact that
they recognize the situation better than a normalo would do.
I disagree with you that two people with sz should have relationships.
Maybe yours works, but the odds are against it. One person needs to be
a stabilizing influence, and if both are sz that doesn't happen.
Flato
.
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| User: "Tea" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
24 Jun 2004 03:04:22 PM |
|
|
"Flato" <phatax@lotagas.com> wrote in message
news:3wECc.33389$Nz.1712377@news20.bellglobal.com...
Berty wrote:
I am a mental patient myself and I would not have a relationship with
this
person you describe myself, I would feel uncomfortable too.
A lot of mental patients are not capable of having a relationship
with a normal person. It is a complex relationship. Many years ago
we had a discussion here about having a relationship with a normalo.
Most of them found it impossible. I hear better results from
relationships
with both mental patients. Maybe it is because of the fact that
they recognize the situation better than a normalo would do.
I disagree with you that two people with sz should have relationships.
Maybe yours works, but the odds are against it. One person needs to be
a stabilizing influence, and if both are sz that doesn't happen.
Flato
I'd go further. I say she sounds dangerous- because her risk-taking may
lead to STDs. It seems she may have an interest in sadomasochistic
behavior, which doesn't have to be a sign of mental illness. However, she
sounds too unstable to be a partner in sexual games. The pain she talks
about when thinking of you with other women sounds different from the pain
associated with kinky sex.
Still, she does not sound well. I would agree that psychosis is the
manifestation of a symtom, not an illness itself. I'm also not sure that
she's schizophrenic. What I do think is that she's manipulative- which
means you need to get out.
.
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| User: "Marsupial Dingo" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
12 Jul 2004 08:55:32 AM |
|
|
For what it's worth - if you love someone and you really don't know why then
you're in the right place. The rest, for the sake of maintaining your own
grounding in whatever sense of reality you are accustomed to -- try to
perceive it as being merely "kinky" or some comic book fantasy - then have a
good life.
The anxiety you feel is your sense of losing control - and you never really
have control ... it's an illusion caused by repetition and familiarity
leading to predictability and perceived reliability - thus the perception:
"control".
My own wife of ten years is a bit outside the text book - not quite to the
point of multiple expressions of self, but - nonetheless - adaptation and
proper framing is all that is needed - the hallmark of human sentience,
sometimes called "freewill".
Once all parties are as happy in the ciscumstance as can be expected, the
rest is just life ... let go and have fun.
.
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| User: "Cubit" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
24 Jun 2004 12:27:53 PM |
|
|
Holly crap. She must be damn good looking.
Despite your great intelligence and writing skills, you have lost touch with
reality. You need to save yourself. If rejecting her is a problem, you
need to sour the milk. Make yourself undesirable. Getting caught cheating
on her would be a big step toward her hating you instead of hating herself
from your rejection. Do a make-over of yourself into whatever she hates,
assuming you aren't harming yourself.
Making a wound in you, and drinking your blood is a warning sign. -bigtime
Get the f*ck out!
"Gerry" <gerryhandke@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:5b54fc3b.0406230603.6b0199fa@posting.google.com...
I have been in a relationship for a couple of months with a woman who
has been at various times diagnosed schizophrenic and psychotic. I had
known her for two years before. I realise that some reading this have
been similarly diagnosed and I hope I don't cause any offence here. I
need some feedback to put me better in the picture.
This woman talks of a 'goddess' and a 'muse' and a 'sucubus' and
believes they are not metaphorical fragments of her psyche. At the
same time, she thinks that nothing is real. It's not quite possible to
understand what she means by this (I suppose any more than it's
possible to understand someone making the opposite claim). I suppose
even the cultural make-up of the neurologically atypical is
deconstructable (it's constituent constructs can be undermined) and
intertextual (a product of cross-pollinated ideas rather than
referencing any objective reality) in its frabric.
I'm sometimes scared of her because of her sexuality: she has
impulses to drink blood from quite a deep wound that she'd make, in a
partner, i.e. currently me, and so on.
Her voice and mood changes very suddenly - sometimes she sounds
very refined and intelligent, and other times she becomes girlish. I
feel for her greatly at times, and I've told her I love her. It became
love, I feel, when she told me about being pimped by her own mother
when she was at school. She says she got enjoyment from this sex with
peaodophiles because there was not anything like affection coming from
elsewhere, which i can understand, albeit at the same times as feeling
chilled. I say it became love because I'm in awe at what she's
survived, and feel compassion for her for it, though I myself have far
milder mental health problems, i.e depression and anxiety.
I have a degree and am a published writer and feel I am fairly
lucid. I am also open-minded and have considered what I feel is the
slight pssibility that these muses and goddesses are in some way real.
So I've said to her to ask them to talk to me. I'm not expecting
anything.
This morning I awoke and immediately was in tears because I often
think now that I made a mistake in embarking on this relationship. I
feel often out of my depth and worry that she might kill me or harm
me, though we have shared a bed now, mutually agreeing without sex as
yet, and things seem fine. I can't leave her, because i think - as is
intimated, though not in a blackmailish way, she will try to kill
herself, or at least that it will cause a breakdown of some kind. This
happened at the end of her last relationship. I hope either that the
relationship improves and that my being with her helps her, or that
she tells me she wants ot finish it. I've said to her three times that
if she wants to end it - i was reacting to a suspicion that she might
- I would still be her friend and support her, which she seems happy
with.
I can't bear the thought that I'm meant to abandon her as if she
were a latterday dodo - though I can blackly observe that she may at
times feel like an albatross.
Prior to meeting me she was taking some ridiculous risks, and for
example once escaped being murdered by a man who'd injected her with
rohypnol. She talks of 'crossing boundaries' and being thrilled by
inflicting and feeling pain. Then this week when she expressed pain at
the thought of me looking at other women - which if i _fleetingly_ do
it's when I'm apart from her, living as I do 30 miles away. I would
never shove it in her face. She said to me that she wanted me to be an
'angel' and so on, and that she knows it's an impossible wish; that
is, she has all that dark in her but hasn't grasped that all sorts of
desires are in everyone, without our needing to act on them or regard
them as important. She seems ot have forgotten her own imperfections
at that point. Indeed she would seem to want me to be several hues
lighter than herself.
She has used a number of different names, but it's not like they're
separate personalities - she's aware that the different names are her
choices. She even said that the newest name was her trying to start
anew. I was surprised recently to find that the name i call her isn't
hers, and I'm going to say to her that I want ot call her by the name
on her birth certificate and passport; I wanted to change my name once
to start anew but I think it's a good 'religious choice' to make the
most of what we're saddled with, and sticking with one's name is a
good reminder of this, kind of like a linguistic bindi.
She has medication, she has psychiatrists and nurses and social
workers and so on, and spent a portion of her 20s in hospital. She
says that her diagnosis now is 'psychotic' rather than schizophrenic.
I'm not one for trusting the labels, but going by the hallucinations
she has and the 'muse', etc, she has the traits that come under
schizophrenia.
What do you think? Is this hopeless? I'm not inclined to think she
was born like this, though there may have been some potential
genetically, as her parents are mental health workers and I can see
from my own life how inclinations can be passed on, for example though
I'm adopted both me and my birth father who I'd not met till 2000
played the guitar from the age of 14. She has had such awful
experiences that her ways and beliefs are likely her way of dealing
with this stuff. I tell myself I'd like to go as far to curing her as
love can go, and i can see I've done some good, and it's early days.
She's very grateful for me. I'm attracted to her physically and
personality-wise, with the exception of the stuff about blood, and I
don't like her friends, largely abusive ex-prospective boyfriends that
she's kept hold of. I feel burdened by these and don't want ot have to
get to know them. I suppose she doesn't - yet - have the self-esteem
to get shot of them.
I would also welcome any people with a diagnosis of schizophrenia
who'd be willing to e'mail me and tell me their experience of the
condition (or whatever you regard it to be), particularly if it
involves goddesses and muses, to help me better get the lay of the
land with my girlfriend. I can't see her as often as i like, because
of the distance between our homes, and our finances, so though we'll
get to know each other better, if i come ot know more about others
with the diagnosis I'll be getting more knowledgeable in genreal and
be able ot apply it, which hopefully is a good thing. I will be
looking for up-to-date and well-written internet resources on
schizophrenia, also - some i've found aren't any good, but people here
may know of good ones.
Many thanks for any replies - postings and e'mails equally welcome.
.
|
|
|
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| User: "Chzwmn" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
04 Jul 2004 07:34:03 PM |
|
|
If she drinks blood then you are at serious risk from infection from hepatitus
or even HIV - get another girl
.
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| User: "J" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
23 Jun 2004 02:55:44 PM |
|
|
If these replies you've recieved are form true sufferers of diagnosed
schizophrenics then im losing my hope of recovery, I could tell you my
theory Gerry, mental illness to me is spiritual and i believe there are more
spirits on this planet than just us human ones and they like pissing people
off and fucking with the heads of others. UNTIL THE APPOINTED TIME
"Gerry" <gerryhandke@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:5b54fc3b.0406230603.6b0199fa@posting.google.com...
I have been in a relationship for a couple of months with a woman who
has been at various times diagnosed schizophrenic and psychotic. I had
known her for two years before. I realise that some reading this have
been similarly diagnosed and I hope I don't cause any offence here. I
need some feedback to put me better in the picture.
This woman talks of a 'goddess' and a 'muse' and a 'sucubus' and
believes they are not metaphorical fragments of her psyche. At the
same time, she thinks that nothing is real. It's not quite possible to
understand what she means by this (I suppose any more than it's
possible to understand someone making the opposite claim). I suppose
even the cultural make-up of the neurologically atypical is
deconstructable (it's constituent constructs can be undermined) and
intertextual (a product of cross-pollinated ideas rather than
referencing any objective reality) in its frabric.
I'm sometimes scared of her because of her sexuality: she has
impulses to drink blood from quite a deep wound that she'd make, in a
partner, i.e. currently me, and so on.
Her voice and mood changes very suddenly - sometimes she sounds
very refined and intelligent, and other times she becomes girlish. I
feel for her greatly at times, and I've told her I love her. It became
love, I feel, when she told me about being pimped by her own mother
when she was at school. She says she got enjoyment from this sex with
peaodophiles because there was not anything like affection coming from
elsewhere, which i can understand, albeit at the same times as feeling
chilled. I say it became love because I'm in awe at what she's
survived, and feel compassion for her for it, though I myself have far
milder mental health problems, i.e depression and anxiety.
I have a degree and am a published writer and feel I am fairly
lucid. I am also open-minded and have considered what I feel is the
slight pssibility that these muses and goddesses are in some way real.
So I've said to her to ask them to talk to me. I'm not expecting
anything.
This morning I awoke and immediately was in tears because I often
think now that I made a mistake in embarking on this relationship. I
feel often out of my depth and worry that she might kill me or harm
me, though we have shared a bed now, mutually agreeing without sex as
yet, and things seem fine. I can't leave her, because i think - as is
intimated, though not in a blackmailish way, she will try to kill
herself, or at least that it will cause a breakdown of some kind. This
happened at the end of her last relationship. I hope either that the
relationship improves and that my being with her helps her, or that
she tells me she wants ot finish it. I've said to her three times that
if she wants to end it - i was reacting to a suspicion that she might
- I would still be her friend and support her, which she seems happy
with.
I can't bear the thought that I'm meant to abandon her as if she
were a latterday dodo - though I can blackly observe that she may at
times feel like an albatross.
Prior to meeting me she was taking some ridiculous risks, and for
example once escaped being murdered by a man who'd injected her with
rohypnol. She talks of 'crossing boundaries' and being thrilled by
inflicting and feeling pain. Then this week when she expressed pain at
the thought of me looking at other women - which if i _fleetingly_ do
it's when I'm apart from her, living as I do 30 miles away. I would
never shove it in her face. She said to me that she wanted me to be an
'angel' and so on, and that she knows it's an impossible wish; that
is, she has all that dark in her but hasn't grasped that all sorts of
desires are in everyone, without our needing to act on them or regard
them as important. She seems ot have forgotten her own imperfections
at that point. Indeed she would seem to want me to be several hues
lighter than herself.
She has used a number of different names, but it's not like they're
separate personalities - she's aware that the different names are her
choices. She even said that the newest name was her trying to start
anew. I was surprised recently to find that the name i call her isn't
hers, and I'm going to say to her that I want ot call her by the name
on her birth certificate and passport; I wanted to change my name once
to start anew but I think it's a good 'religious choice' to make the
most of what we're saddled with, and sticking with one's name is a
good reminder of this, kind of like a linguistic bindi.
She has medication, she has psychiatrists and nurses and social
workers and so on, and spent a portion of her 20s in hospital. She
says that her diagnosis now is 'psychotic' rather than schizophrenic.
I'm not one for trusting the labels, but going by the hallucinations
she has and the 'muse', etc, she has the traits that come under
schizophrenia.
What do you think? Is this hopeless? I'm not inclined to think she
was born like this, though there may have been some potential
genetically, as her parents are mental health workers and I can see
from my own life how inclinations can be passed on, for example though
I'm adopted both me and my birth father who I'd not met till 2000
played the guitar from the age of 14. She has had such awful
experiences that her ways and beliefs are likely her way of dealing
with this stuff. I tell myself I'd like to go as far to curing her as
love can go, and i can see I've done some good, and it's early days.
She's very grateful for me. I'm attracted to her physically and
personality-wise, with the exception of the stuff about blood, and I
don't like her friends, largely abusive ex-prospective boyfriends that
she's kept hold of. I feel burdened by these and don't want ot have to
get to know them. I suppose she doesn't - yet - have the self-esteem
to get shot of them.
I would also welcome any people with a diagnosis of schizophrenia
who'd be willing to e'mail me and tell me their experience of the
condition (or whatever you regard it to be), particularly if it
involves goddesses and muses, to help me better get the lay of the
land with my girlfriend. I can't see her as often as i like, because
of the distance between our homes, and our finances, so though we'll
get to know each other better, if i come ot know more about others
with the diagnosis I'll be getting more knowledgeable in genreal and
be able ot apply it, which hopefully is a good thing. I will be
looking for up-to-date and well-written internet resources on
schizophrenia, also - some i've found aren't any good, but people here
may know of good ones.
Many thanks for any replies - postings and e'mails equally welcome.
.
|
|
|
| User: "spacemouse" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
23 Jun 2004 03:03:32 PM |
|
|
"J" <jamie.d.moroney@btopenworld.com> wrote in message
news:cbcn7v$8ir$1@sparta.btinternet.com...
If these replies you've recieved are form true sufferers of diagnosed
schizophrenics then im losing my hope of recovery, I could tell you my
theory Gerry, mental illness to me is spiritual and i believe there are
more
spirits on this planet than just us human ones and they like pissing
people
off and fucking with the heads of others. UNTIL THE APPOINTED TIME
You funnythinkin religious superstious about mental illness....man you
crazier than us!!!
-- sm
.
|
|
|
| User: "Robert Smrdelj" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
23 Jun 2004 07:38:43 PM |
|
|
"spacemouse" <manuballista@msn.com> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
news:mmlCc.13056$ly2.13022@doctor.cableinet.net...
"J" <jamie.d.moroney@btopenworld.com> wrote in message
news:cbcn7v$8ir$1@sparta.btinternet.com...
If these replies you've recieved are form true sufferers of diagnosed
schizophrenics then im losing my hope of recovery, I could tell you my
theory Gerry, mental illness to me is spiritual and i believe there are
more
spirits on this planet than just us human ones and they like pissing
people
off and fucking with the heads of others. UNTIL THE APPOINTED TIME
You funnythinkin religious superstious about mental illness....man you
crazier than us!!!
-- sm
Why? He´s right. I see those spirits every day.
.
|
|
|
| User: "Berty" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
24 Jun 2004 04:45:29 AM |
|
|
"Robert Smrdelj" <robert_smrdelj@web.de> wrote in message news:<2jumk0F16dhekU1@uni-berlin.de>...
Why? He´s right. I see those spirits every day.
Maybe you should try other medication?
Berty
.
|
|
|
| User: "Robert Smrdelj" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
24 Jun 2004 06:16:19 PM |
|
|
"Berty" <adamskirasputin@yahoo.com> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
news:b0c38c05.0406240145.12358db6@posting.google.com...
"Robert Smrdelj" <robert_smrdelj@web.de> wrote in message
news:<2jumk0F16dhekU1@uni-berlin.de>...
Why? He´s right. I see those spirits every day.
Maybe you should try other medication?
Berty
I´m content with my medication. I still see them but they´re not that
present any more.
.
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Chzwmn" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
04 Jul 2004 07:35:50 PM |
|
|
My brother is schizophrenic - he's been like that for 24 years.
It's a long road and you have to be super understanding - have you got the
guts?
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Leon Hoeneveld" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
24 Jun 2004 12:38:48 PM |
|
|
Maybe you're wondering about regrets. They come and go.
It's natural to have regrets, whatever reason they might
have.
But there should be moments for pride also. If they are not
balanced in some way or another something should change.
Then there is the question of rights. You wonder: "Do I have
a right to be happy?"
Other people are sometimes so miserable that you think
yourself gratefull with just the absence of extremes. Sure
you have a right to be happy. But you can't be happy all of
the time. Sometimes the situation makes it hard to be
totally happy. Maybe you think, well at least the situation
isn't that bad. It's true. But here also, when the balance
is at one side for too long, something will change.
There are many people that live a lie. They surround
themselves with false images both as objects as with
beliefs. They will not be able to explain what is happening
with a clear view. Somehow after a few of these experiences
the truth will come out and confront the person involved.
They can either choose to build up even more false images
and beliefs or choose to be sober for a while. The truth is
hard and painfull, you cannot escape it. They may even try
suicide. That is when the truth is near. Keep these moments
as an opportunity to build up a world witout false images.
Some are necessary hope and play, but most of the time you
can do without them.
Regards, Léon
.
|
|
|
| User: "Leon Hoeneveld" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
24 Jun 2004 12:41:40 PM |
|
|
Leon Hoeneveld wrote:
All I wanted to say: "Give her the mirror"
.
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Nom dePlume nomdeplume1000-at-yahoo.com" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
24 Jun 2004 11:51:18 PM |
|
|
My first thought is that you need to think about what attempting to
maintain this kind of relationship is likely to do to *you*. You won't
be doing her any favors if the stress of dealing with her illness
wreaks havoc with your emotions. You would just be letting her illness
damage you as well as her. Nothing you do is going to fix her.
--
Nom dePlume, Ph.D
Why, yes, in fact, I am a rocket scientist.
Guide to Medications for Mental Illness:
http://www.geocities.com/nomdeplume1000
=====
"Gerry" <gerryhandke@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:5b54fc3b.0406230603.6b0199fa@posting.google.com...
I have been in a relationship for a couple of months with a woman
who
has been at various times diagnosed schizophrenic and psychotic. I
had
known her for two years before. I realise that some reading this
have
been similarly diagnosed and I hope I don't cause any offence here.
I
need some feedback to put me better in the picture.
This woman talks of a 'goddess' and a 'muse' and a 'sucubus' and
believes they are not metaphorical fragments of her psyche. At the
same time, she thinks that nothing is real. It's not quite possible
to
understand what she means by this (I suppose any more than it's
possible to understand someone making the opposite claim). I suppose
even the cultural make-up of the neurologically atypical is
deconstructable (it's constituent constructs can be undermined) and
intertextual (a product of cross-pollinated ideas rather than
referencing any objective reality) in its frabric.
I'm sometimes scared of her because of her sexuality: she has
impulses to drink blood from quite a deep wound that she'd make, in
a
partner, i.e. currently me, and so on.
Her voice and mood changes very suddenly - sometimes she sounds
very refined and intelligent, and other times she becomes girlish. I
feel for her greatly at times, and I've told her I love her. It
became
love, I feel, when she told me about being pimped by her own mother
when she was at school. She says she got enjoyment from this sex
with
peaodophiles because there was not anything like affection coming
from
elsewhere, which i can understand, albeit at the same times as
feeling
chilled. I say it became love because I'm in awe at what she's
survived, and feel compassion for her for it, though I myself have
far
milder mental health problems, i.e depression and anxiety.
I have a degree and am a published writer and feel I am fairly
lucid. I am also open-minded and have considered what I feel is the
slight pssibility that these muses and goddesses are in some way
real.
So I've said to her to ask them to talk to me. I'm not expecting
anything.
This morning I awoke and immediately was in tears because I often
think now that I made a mistake in embarking on this relationship. I
feel often out of my depth and worry that she might kill me or harm
me, though we have shared a bed now, mutually agreeing without sex
as
yet, and things seem fine. I can't leave her, because i think - as
is
intimated, though not in a blackmailish way, she will try to kill
herself, or at least that it will cause a breakdown of some kind.
This
happened at the end of her last relationship. I hope either that the
relationship improves and that my being with her helps her, or that
she tells me she wants ot finish it. I've said to her three times
that
if she wants to end it - i was reacting to a suspicion that she
might
- I would still be her friend and support her, which she seems happy
with.
I can't bear the thought that I'm meant to abandon her as if she
were a latterday dodo - though I can blackly observe that she may at
times feel like an albatross.
Prior to meeting me she was taking some ridiculous risks, and for
example once escaped being murdered by a man who'd injected her with
rohypnol. She talks of 'crossing boundaries' and being thrilled by
inflicting and feeling pain. Then this week when she expressed pain
at
the thought of me looking at other women - which if i _fleetingly_
do
it's when I'm apart from her, living as I do 30 miles away. I would
never shove it in her face. She said to me that she wanted me to be
an
'angel' and so on, and that she knows it's an impossible wish; that
is, she has all that dark in her but hasn't grasped that all sorts
of
desires are in everyone, without our needing to act on them or
regard
them as important. She seems ot have forgotten her own imperfections
at that point. Indeed she would seem to want me to be several hues
lighter than herself.
She has used a number of different names, but it's not like
they're
separate personalities - she's aware that the different names are
her
choices. She even said that the newest name was her trying to start
anew. I was surprised recently to find that the name i call her
isn't
hers, and I'm going to say to her that I want ot call her by the
name
on her birth certificate and passport; I wanted to change my name
once
to start anew but I think it's a good 'religious choice' to make the
most of what we're saddled with, and sticking with one's name is a
good reminder of this, kind of like a linguistic bindi.
She has medication, she has psychiatrists and nurses and social
workers and so on, and spent a portion of her 20s in hospital. She
says that her diagnosis now is 'psychotic' rather than
schizophrenic.
I'm not one for trusting the labels, but going by the hallucinations
she has and the 'muse', etc, she has the traits that come under
schizophrenia.
What do you think? Is this hopeless? I'm not inclined to think
she
was born like this, though there may have been some potential
genetically, as her parents are mental health workers and I can see
from my own life how inclinations can be passed on, for example
though
I'm adopted both me and my birth father who I'd not met till 2000
played the guitar from the age of 14. She has had such awful
experiences that her ways and beliefs are likely her way of dealing
with this stuff. I tell myself I'd like to go as far to curing her
as
love can go, and i can see I've done some good, and it's early days.
She's very grateful for me. I'm attracted to her physically and
personality-wise, with the exception of the stuff about blood, and I
don't like her friends, largely abusive ex-prospective boyfriends
that
she's kept hold of. I feel burdened by these and don't want ot have
to
get to know them. I suppose she doesn't - yet - have the self-esteem
to get shot of them.
I would also welcome any people with a diagnosis of schizophrenia
who'd be willing to e'mail me and tell me their experience of the
condition (or whatever you regard it to be), particularly if it
involves goddesses and muses, to help me better get the lay of the
land with my girlfriend. I can't see her as often as i like, because
of the distance between our homes, and our finances, so though we'll
get to know each other better, if i come ot know more about others
with the diagnosis I'll be getting more knowledgeable in genreal and
be able ot apply it, which hopefully is a good thing. I will be
looking for up-to-date and well-written internet resources on
schizophrenia, also - some i've found aren't any good, but people
here
may know of good ones.
Many thanks for any replies - postings and e'mails equally
welcome.
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Flato" |
|
| Title: Re: Schizophrenic girlfriend - advice? |
23 Jun 2004 02:53:38 PM |
|
|
You can ignore the flippant, disappointing remarks you've read so far.
The people here really aren't that shallow.
Love can't cure schizophrenia. Since love itself is a form of madness,
it is likely to exacerbate schizophrenia. That's if she loves you.
Your love for her can bring you to a point where you accept her ss she
is, but it will NOT make her condition any better. So get rid of that
foolish Romantic notion right off the bat.
I'm not going to go into detail about my schizophrenic experience
because schizophrenia is extremely individual. Every one of us has his
own demons, delusions, and fears. The only way you will find out about
hers is with gentle probing and encouraging her to explain herself. You
haven't described how articulate she is, so I don't know how much
success you'll have at that.
Before you do anything rash, make sure that you truly do love her and
don't merely pity her. From your message it sounds like the latter is
the case. Also don't feel that you are trapped in the relationship
because she might attempt suicide if you leave. That would be you being
held hostage in a relationship you don't want, which would be far worse
for you and her than a clean break.
Most importantly, be honest with yourself about how you feel. Try to
peel away the little vanities that lead people to deceive themselves and
try to evaluate your feelings and your situation as lucidly as you can.
I wish you luck.
Flato
Gerry wrote:
I have been in a relationship for a couple of months with a woman who
has been at various times diagnosed schizophrenic and psychotic. I had
known her for two years before. I realise that some reading this have
been similarly diagnosed and I hope I don't cause any offence here. I
need some feedback to put me better in the picture.
This woman talks of a 'goddess' and a 'muse' and a 'sucubus' and
believes they are not metaphorical fragments of her psyche. At the
same time, she thinks that nothing is real. It's not quite possible to
understand what she means by this (I suppose any more than it's
possible to understand someone making the opposite claim). I suppose
even the cultural make-up of the neurologically atypical is
deconstructable (it's constituent constructs can be undermined) and
intertextual (a product of cross-pollinated ideas rather than
referencing any objective reality) in its frabric.
I'm sometimes scared of her because of her sexuality: she has
impulses to drink blood from quite a deep wound that she'd make, in a
partner, i.e. currently me, and so on.
Her voice and mood changes very suddenly - sometimes she sounds
very refined and intelligent, and other times she becomes girlish. I
feel for her greatly at times, and I've told her I love her. It became
love, I feel, when she told me about being pimped by her own mother
when she was at school. She says she got enjoyment from this sex with
peaodophiles because there was not anything like affection coming from
elsewhere, which i can understand, albeit at the same times as feeling
chilled. I say it became love because I'm in awe at what she's
survived, and feel compassion for her for it, though I myself have far
milder mental health problems, i.e depression and anxiety.
I have a degree and am a published writer and feel I am fairly
lucid. I am also open-minded and have considered what I feel is the
slight pssibility that these muses and goddesses are in some way real.
So I've said to her to ask them to talk to me. I'm not expecting
anything.
This morning I awoke and immediately was in tears because I often
think now that I made a mistake in embarking on this relationship. I
feel often out of my depth and worry that she might kill me or harm
me, though we have shared a bed now, mutually agreeing without sex as
yet, and things seem fine. I can't leave her, because i think - as is
intimated, though not in a blackmailish way, she will try to kill
herself, or at least that it will cause a breakdown of some kind. This
happened at the end of her last relationship. I hope either that the
relationship improves and that my being with her helps her, or that
she tells me she wants ot finish it. I've said to her three times that
if she wants to end it - i was reacting to a suspicion that she might
- I would still be her friend and support her, which she seems happy
with.
I can't bear the thought that I'm meant to abandon her as if she
were a latterday dodo - though I can blackly observe that she may at
times feel like an albatross.
Prior to meeting me she was taking some ridiculous risks, and for
example once escaped being murdered by a man who'd injected her with
rohypnol. She talks of 'crossing boundaries' and being thrilled by
inflicting and feeling pain. Then this week when she expressed pain at
the thought of me looking at other women - which if i _fleetingly_ do
it's when I'm apart from her, living as I do 30 miles away. I would
never shove it in her face. She said to me that she wanted me to be an
'angel' and so on, and that she knows it's an impossible wish; that
is, she has all that dark in her but hasn't grasped that all sorts of
desires are in everyone, without our needing to act on them or regard
them as important. She seems ot have forgotten her own imperfections
at that point. Indeed she would seem to want me to be several hues
lighter than herself.
She has used a number of different names, but it's not like they're
separate personalities - she's aware that the different names are her
choices. She even said that the newest name was her trying to start
anew. I was surprised recently to find that the name i call her isn't
hers, and I'm going to say to her that I want ot call her by the name
on her birth certificate and passport; I wanted to change my name once
to start anew but I think it's a good 'religious choice' to make the
most of what we're saddled with, and sticking with one's name is a
good reminder of this, kind of like a linguistic bindi.
She has medication, she has psychiatrists and nurses and social
workers and so on, and spent a portion of her 20s in hospital. She
says that her diagnosis now is 'psychotic' rather than schizophrenic.
I'm not one for trusting the labels, but going by the hallucinations
she has and the 'muse', etc, she has the traits that come under
schizophrenia.
What do you think? Is this hopeless? I'm not inclined to think she
was born like this, though there may have been some potential
genetically, as her parents are mental health workers and I can see
from my own life how inclinations can be passed on, for example though
I'm adopted both me and my birth father who I'd not met till 2000
played the guitar from the age of 14. She has had such awful
experiences that her ways and beliefs are likely her way of dealing
with this stuff. I tell myself I'd like to go as far to curing her as
love can go, and i can see I've done some good, and it's early days.
She's very grateful for me. I'm attracted to her physically and
personality-wise, with the exception of the stuff about blood, and I
don't like her friends, largely abusive ex-prospective boyfriends that
she's kept hold of. I feel burdened by these and don't want ot have to
get to know them. I suppose she doesn't - yet - have the self-esteem
to get shot of them.
I would also welcome any people with a diagnosis of schizophrenia
who'd be willing to e'mail me and tell me their experience of the
condition (or whatever you regard it to be), particularly if it
involves goddesses and muses, to help me better get the lay of the
land with my girlfriend. I can't see her as often as i like, because
of the distance between our homes, and our finances, so though we'll
get to know each other better, if i come ot know more about others
with the diagnosis I'll be getting more knowledgeable in genreal and
be able ot apply it, which hopefully is a good thing. I will be
looking for up-to-date and well-written internet resources on
schizophrenia, also - some i've found aren't any good, but people here
may know of good ones.
Many thanks for any replies - postings and e'mails equally welcome.
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "John Jones" |
|
| Title: neurolgically untypical response |
25 Jun 2004 03:09:54 PM |
|
|
You stuck up tit
Gerry <gerryhandke@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:5b54fc3b.0406230603.6b0199fa@posting.google.com...
I have been in a relationship for a couple of months with a woman who
has been at various times diagnosed schizophrenic and psychotic. I had
known her for two years before. I realise that some reading this have
been similarly diagnosed and I hope I don't cause any offence here. I
need some feedback to put me better in the picture.
This woman talks of a 'goddess' and a 'muse' and a 'sucubus' and
believes they are not metaphorical fragments of her psyche. At the
same time, she thinks that nothing is real. It's not quite possible to
understand what she means by this (I suppose any more than it's
possible to understand someone making the opposite claim). I suppose
even the cultural make-up of the neurologically atypical is
deconstructable (it's constituent constructs can be undermined) and
intertextual (a product of cross-pollinated ideas rather than
referencing any objective reality) in its frabric.
I'm sometimes scared of her because of her sexuality: she has
impulses to drink blood from quite a deep wound that she'd make, in a
partner, i.e. currently me, and so on.
Her voice and mood changes very suddenly - sometimes she sounds
very refined and intelligent, and other times she becomes girlish. I
feel for her greatly at times, and I've told her I love her. It became
love, I feel, when she told me about being pimped by her own mother
when she was at school. She says she got enjoyment from this sex with
peaodophiles because there was not anything like affection coming from
elsewhere, which i can understand, albeit at the same times as feeling
chilled. I say it became love because I'm in awe at what she's
survived, and feel compassion for her for it, though I myself have far
milder mental health problems, i.e depression and anxiety.
I have a degree and am a published writer and feel I am fairly
lucid. I am also open-minded and have considered what I feel is the
slight pssibility that these muses and goddesses are in some way real.
So I've said to her to ask them to talk to me. I'm not expecting
anything.
This morning I awoke and immediately was in tears because I often
think now that I made a mistake in embarking on this relationship. I
feel often out of my depth and worry that she might kill me or harm
me, though we have shared a bed now, mutually agreeing without sex as
yet, and things seem fine. I can't leave her, because i think - as is
intimated, though not in a blackmailish way, she will try to kill
herself, or at least that it will cause a breakdown of some kind. This
happened at the end of her last relationship. I hope either that the
relationship improves and that my being with her helps her, or that
she tells me she wants ot finish it. I've said to her three times that
if she wants to end it - i was reacting to a suspicion that she might
- I would still be her friend and support her, which she seems happy
with.
I can't bear the thought that I'm meant to abandon her as if she
were a latterday dodo - though I can blackly observe that she may at
times feel like an albatross.
Prior to meeting me she was taking some ridiculous risks, and for
example once escaped being murdered by a man who'd injected her with
rohypnol. She talks of 'crossing boundaries' and being thrilled by
inflicting and feeling pain. Then this week when she expressed pain at
the thought of me looking at other women - which if i _fleetingly_ do
it's when I'm apart from her, living as I do 30 miles away. I would
never shove it in her face. She said to me that she wanted me to be an
'angel' and so on, and that she knows it's an impossible wish; that
is, she has all that dark in her but hasn't grasped that all sorts of
desires are in everyone, without our needing to act on them or regard
them as important. She seems ot have forgotten her own imperfections
at that point. Indeed she would seem to want me to be several hues
lighter than herself.
She has used a number of different names, but it's not like they're
separate personalities - she's aware that the different names are her
choices. She even said that the newest name was her trying to start
anew. I was surprised recently to find that the name i call her isn't
hers, and I'm going to say to her that I want ot call her by the name
on her birth certificate and passport; I wanted to change my name once
to start anew but I think it's a good 'religious choice' to make the
most of what we're saddled with, and sticking with | |
