| Topic: |
Science > Philosophy |
| User: |
"" |
| Date: |
21 Dec 2004 01:00:16 PM |
| Object: |
The structure of the Universe |
The structure of the Universe
Contained in human chest
The orderly and mutinous
The motion and the rest
From single singularity
That no one can explain
Creates the flying galaxies
And all that they contain.
The magnetism and gravity
The forces weak and strong
Eternity and brevity
Combine into a song
That rings through all the galaxies
Through all of space and time
And with inspired melodies
Nurtures the human mind.
The structure of the Universe
Contained in human heart
In each stop, a continuance
In each end, a new start
And as blood passes through the lungs
With every passing breath
From every lie the truth is wrung
And birth, from every death.
The universal passion
Contained in human brain -
Recombinance and clashing
Of Galilean frames
Eternity in brevity -
They pass each other by
Reshaping with their gravity
Each other's space and time,
Consigning to oblivion
Each other's sense of self
And bringing the dominion
Of wherefrom they all delve.
The structure of the universe
Contained in human eye
The protons and the neutrons dressed
In cloud that whizzes by
That won't give you the answer
How fast they fly or where,
But like a ballet dancer
Command and fix the stare -
That soar dispelling fear
Where nobody can find
And are the see-through mirror
Into the human mind.
The structure of the Universe
Contained in human soul
The ever-present superstrings
Connecting each to all
Containing like a hologram
The whole in each part,
Incorporating all of them
In universal heart -
The ultimate affinity
Of each and every soul
Approaches infinity
And merges with the whole
That manifests through timespaces
In fractal twists and swirls
The curvatures and chaoses
Contained in people's souls.
The electromagnetic field
Within the human voice
Contains the power people wield
In mechanism of choice
That shape, create and structure
The world in which they live,
Make wholesome or else rupture
Engender or deceive
Contain the inspiration
For newer better worlds,
Or, lacking integration,
Remain just empty words.
I'll find the truth in sunshine
And tease it out of night
I'll feel it with my passion
And know it with my mind
Combining and refining,
Destroying what is wrong
Explaining and defining
And crafting a new song -
A song that rings through timespace
With message that is new,
That solves each passing crisis
And makes the dreams come true,
Through neutrons and through protons
And electronic fields
Through forces, weak and strong ones,
And through the superstrings,
Through universal whole
And through each precious part
Will manifest man's soul
Contained within God's heart.
Ilya Shambat.
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| User: "m II" |
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| Title: Re: The structure of the Universe |
21 Dec 2004 06:37:22 PM |
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wrote:
my critique.
Yours:
That manifests through timespaces
In fractal twists and swirls
The curvatures and chaoses
Contained in people's souls.
My alterations:
Which manifest in time and space
As fractals twist and swirl.
The curvature and chaos
Contained in a people's soul.
Gets rid of the repetitive sibilance, see? Throws in a Jungian
collective subconscious for good measure.
The rest of it could perhaps be beaten into shape as easily, but what
do I know....
mike
--
"The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is
probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners."
Ernst Jan Plugge
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| User: "Publius" |
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| Title: Re: The structure of the Universe |
21 Dec 2004 11:34:21 PM |
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m II <ohmworkLEOPARD@spots.ca> wrote in news:6l3yd.12745$nN6.12141
@edtnps84:
ilya_shambat2004@yahoo.com wrote:
my critique.
Yours:
That manifests through timespaces
In fractal twists and swirls
The curvatures and chaoses
Contained in people's souls.
My alterations:
Which manifest in time and space
As fractals twist and swirl.
The curvature and chaos
Contained in a people's soul.
Gets rid of the repetitive sibilance, see? Throws in a Jungian
collective subconscious for good measure.
The rest of it could perhaps be beaten into shape as easily, but what
do I know....
Yup, she could benefit from a few sessions with good poetry tutor. But she
does have a gift.
PS: I'd rewrite the last couplet as,
The curvature and chaos that
Inhabit mankind's soul.
Cleans up the meter.
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| User: "m II" |
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| Title: Re: The structure of the Universe |
22 Dec 2004 12:09:55 AM |
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Publius wrote:
Yup, she could benefit from a few sessions with good poetry tutor. But she
does have a gift.
She? I think there may be a librarian who strongly disagrees with you.
There was this *episode*, see....
mike
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| User: "Publius" |
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| Title: Re: The structure of the Universe |
22 Dec 2004 04:29:16 AM |
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m II <ohmworkLEOPARD@spots.ca> wrote in
news:Tc8yd.6467$uj2.3154@clgrps12:
Publius wrote:
Yup, she could benefit from a few sessions with good poetry tutor.
But she does have a gift.
She? I think there may be a librarian who strongly disagrees with you.
There was this *episode*, see....
Oops.
LOL
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| User: "m II" |
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| Title: Re: The structure of the Universe |
22 Dec 2004 12:17:40 AM |
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Publius wrote:
m II <ohmworkLEOPARD@spots.ca> wrote in news:6l3yd.12745$nN6.12141
@edtnps84:
ilya_shambat2004@yahoo.com wrote:
my critique.
Yours:
That manifests through timespaces
In fractal twists and swirls
The curvatures and chaoses
Contained in people's souls.
My alterations:
Which manifest in time and space
As fractals twist and swirl.
The curvature and chaos
Contained in a people's soul.
Gets rid of the repetitive sibilance, see? Throws in a Jungian
collective subconscious for good measure.
The rest of it could perhaps be beaten into shape as easily, but what
do I know....
Yup, she could benefit from a few sessions with good poetry tutor. But she
does have a gift.
PS: I'd rewrite the last couplet as,
The curvature and chaos that
Inhabit mankind's soul.
Cleans up the meter.
How about
The curvature and chaos
twisting mankind's soul.
or
The curvature and chaos
twisting man and soul
mike
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: The structure of the Universe |
22 Dec 2004 01:20:34 PM |
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Publius wrote:
m II <ohmworkLEOPARD@spots.ca> wrote in news:6l3yd.12745$nN6.12141
@edtnps84:
ilya_shambat2004@yahoo.com wrote:
my critique.
Yours:
That manifests through timespaces
In fractal twists and swirls
The curvatures and chaoses
Contained in people's souls.
My alterations:
Which manifest in time and space
As fractals twist and swirl.
The curvature and chaos
Contained in a people's soul.
Maybe "contained in human soul." "A people's" is ungrammatical.
Gets rid of the repetitive sibilance, see? Throws in a Jungian
collective subconscious for good measure.
The rest of it could perhaps be beaten into shape as easily, but
what
do I know....
I'll see.
Yup, she could benefit from a few sessions with good poetry tutor.
But she
does have a gift.
Where do I find a good poetry tutor?
.
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| User: "m II" |
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| Title: Re: The structure of the Universe |
23 Dec 2004 09:31:18 PM |
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wrote:
Where do I find a good poetry tutor?
They're in the Yellow Pages...no..wait...that's pottery..sorry...
mike
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