| Topic: |
Science > Physics |
| User: |
"Robert Karl Stonjek" |
| Date: |
23 Oct 2005 03:46:14 AM |
| Object: |
Article: Many happy returns, Earth |
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Many happy returns, Earth
By Jim Schembri
October 23, 2005
TODAY is a special day in the history of the planet. For it was on =
Sunday,
October 23, 4004BC - at precisely 9am - that God created the Earth. Work
was actually supposed to begin at 7.30am, but even back then it was hard
getting hold of tradesmen when you needed them.
This date was calculated by a gentleman called James Ussher (1581-1656) =
who
figured out the exact moment of Creation by working backwards from all =
the
key dates mentioned in a copy of the Old Testament he lifted from the =
local
hotel/motel.
Ussher, by the way, was not some hack academic from the Middle Ages with
too much time on his hands. He was Archbishop of Armagh, Vice-Chancellor =
of
Trinity College in Dublin and Primate of all Ireland - an important =
title
that nonetheless reminds people of the gorilla enclosure at the zoo when
they hear it.
The date is regarded as sacred by hardline creationists who firmly =
believe
the cosmos was made by God in a single business week. This puts them in
conflict with evolutionists, who hold that the planets formed over =
billions
of years from gases, and that man evolved from primitive apes who, in =
turn,
evolved from corporate middle managers.
Earth's biblical birthday was given renewed fame in the historic Monkey
Trial of 1925 in Tennessee, in which teacher John Scopes was prosecuted =
for
teaching Darwin's theory of evolution instead of the Creation.
In the trial, Earth's birthdate was ridiculed for being contrary to
scientific fact, especially given all the million-year-old fossils =
sitting
in museums and working for local councils. These accusations were =
answered
first with defiant assertions of faith in the infinite power and wisdom =
of
God, then by a quick mooning.
Over the decades this issue has led to many fights when creationists go =
to
the same flat-warming party as the Big Bang guys. After a few beers, the
same argument always comes up: if the Earth is only about 6000 years =
old,
then how come science shows the universe to be 14 billion years old, =
give
or take?
After hours of arguing, with points being conceded by both sides, the
theologians and the cosmologists inevitably agree to disagree and end up =
on
the floor with their arms around each other as they consider how the
discrepancies in their conflicting views of how the universe came to be
could all be due to early confusion over the introduction of daylight
saving.
Yet now an exciting new theory has emerged that draws these two =
seemingly
irreconcilable positions together in seamless harmony through the =
unifying
concept of Intelligent Design. This posits that the universe was created =
by
One Almighty God, who didn't make the Earth in six days, but took his =
time
over a number of weekends, with the help of some guys from the office.
Whatever the case, here's wishing Earth a happy 6009th birthday. And =
never
you mind about all those doubting scientists, honey. You don't look a =
day
over 5500.
http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/many-happy-returns-earth/2005/10/2=
2/1129775997120.html
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<DIV>Many happy returns, Earth<BR>By Jim Schembri<BR>October 23,=20
2005<BR><BR>TODAY is a special day in the history of the planet. For it =
was on=20
Sunday,<BR>October 23, 4004BC - at precisely 9am - that God created the =
Earth.=20
Work<BR>was actually supposed to begin at 7.30am, but even back then it =
was=20
hard<BR>getting hold of tradesmen when you needed them.<BR><BR>This date =
was=20
calculated by a gentleman called James Ussher (1581-1656) who<BR>figured =
out the=20
exact moment of Creation by working backwards from all the<BR>key dates=20
mentioned in a copy of the Old Testament he lifted from the=20
local<BR>hotel/motel.<BR><BR>Ussher, by the way, was not some hack =
academic from=20
the Middle Ages with<BR>too much time on his hands. He was Archbishop of =
Armagh,=20
Vice-Chancellor of<BR>Trinity College in Dublin and Primate of all =
Ireland - an=20
important title<BR>that nonetheless reminds people of the gorilla =
enclosure at=20
the zoo when<BR>they hear it.<BR><BR>The date is regarded as sacred by =
hardline=20
creationists who firmly believe<BR>the cosmos was made by God in a =
single=20
business week. This puts them in<BR>conflict with evolutionists, who =
hold that=20
the planets formed over billions<BR>of years from gases, and that man =
evolved=20
from primitive apes who, in turn,<BR>evolved from corporate middle=20
managers.<BR><BR>Earth's biblical birthday was given renewed fame in the =
historic Monkey<BR>Trial of 1925 in Tennessee, in which teacher John =
Scopes was=20
prosecuted for<BR>teaching Darwin's theory of evolution instead of the=20
Creation.<BR><BR>In the trial, Earth's birthdate was ridiculed for being =
contrary to<BR>scientific fact, especially given all the =
million-year-old=20
fossils sitting<BR>in museums and working for local councils. These =
accusations=20
were answered<BR>first with defiant assertions of faith in the infinite =
power=20
and wisdom of<BR>God, then by a quick mooning.<BR><BR>Over the decades =
this=20
issue has led to many fights when creationists go to<BR>the same =
flat-warming=20
party as the Big Bang guys. After a few beers, the<BR>same argument =
always comes=20
up: if the Earth is only about 6000 years old,<BR>then how come science =
shows=20
the universe to be 14 billion years old, give<BR>or take?<BR><BR>After =
hours of=20
arguing, with points being conceded by both sides, the<BR>theologians =
and the=20
cosmologists inevitably agree to disagree and end up on<BR>the floor =
with their=20
arms around each other as they consider how the<BR>discrepancies in =
their=20
conflicting views of how the universe came to be<BR>could all be due to =
early=20
confusion over the introduction of daylight<BR>saving.<BR><BR>Yet now an =
exciting new theory has emerged that draws these two =
seemingly<BR>irreconcilable=20
positions together in seamless harmony through the unifying<BR>concept =
of=20
Intelligent Design. This posits that the universe was created by<BR>One =
Almighty=20
God, who didn't make the Earth in six days, but took his time<BR>over a =
number=20
of weekends, with the help of some guys from the office.<BR><BR>Whatever =
the=20
case, here's wishing Earth a happy 6009th birthday. And never<BR>you =
mind about=20
all those doubting scientists, honey. You don't look a day<BR>over=20
5500.<BR></DIV>
<DIV>
<DIV><A=20
href=3D"http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/many-happy-returns-earth/2=
005/10/22/1129775997120.html">http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/many=
-happy-returns-earth/2005/10/22/1129775997120.html</A></DIV></DIV></BODY>=
</HTML>
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|
|
| User: "Prai Jei" |
|
| Title: Re: Article: Many happy returns, Earth |
23 Oct 2005 03:37:46 PM |
|
|
Robert Karl Stonjek (or somebody else of the same name) wrote thusly in
message <q5I6f.25560$U51.4961@news-server.bigpond.net.au>:
This date was calculated by a gentleman called James Ussher (1581-1656)
who figured out the exact moment of Creation by working backwards from all
the key dates mentioned in a copy of the Old Testament he lifted from the
local hotel/motel.
He was living there, of course, after the fall of his house :)
Ussher, by the way, was not some hack academic from the Middle Ages with
too much time on his hands. He was Archbishop of Armagh, Vice-Chancellor
of Trinity College in Dublin and Primate of all Ireland - an important
title that nonetheless reminds people of the gorilla enclosure at the zoo
when they hear it.
And not, of course, a chimp, orang utan, gibbon or bonobo?
Whatever the case, here's wishing Earth a happy 6009th birthday.
So why do the Jews (who, of all people, should Know) number the current year
5766?
--
There are very few spiders found on bananas that bite.
Interchange the alphabetic letter groups to reply
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Androcles Androcles@ MyPlace.org" |
|
| Title: Re: Article: Many happy returns, Earth |
23 Oct 2005 06:01:00 AM |
|
|
This is a multi-part message in MIME format.
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"Robert Karl Stonjek" <stonjek@ozemail.com.au> wrote in message =
news:q5I6f.25560$U51.4961@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
Many happy returns, Earth
By Jim Schembri
October 23, 2005
TODAY is a special day in the history of the planet. For it was on =
Sunday,
October 23, 4004BC - at precisely 9am - that God created the Earth. =
Work
was actually supposed to begin at 7.30am, but even back then it was =
hard
getting hold of tradesmen when you needed them.
Almost but not quite correct.
God and Son, Inc.,
Master World Builders
("WE RULE THE SKIES")
didn't have any tradesmen until=20
Noah and Sons, Inc.,=20
Master Ship Builders
("We rule the waves")=20
were invented.
=20
This date was calculated by a gentleman called James Ussher =
(1581-1656) who
figured out the exact moment of Creation by working backwards from all =
the
key dates mentioned in a copy of the Old Testament he lifted from the =
local
hotel/motel.
Ussher was a gentleman? I thought he was a priest... oh well.
Ussher, by the way, was not some hack academic from the Middle Ages =
with
too much time on his hands. He was Archbishop of Armagh, =
Vice-Chancellor of
Trinity College in Dublin and Primate of all Ireland - an important =
title
that nonetheless reminds people of the gorilla enclosure at the zoo =
when
they hear it.
The date is regarded as sacred by hardline creationists who firmly =
believe
the cosmos was made by God in a single business week. This puts them =
in
conflict with evolutionists, who hold that the planets formed over =
billions
of years from gases, and that man evolved from primitive apes who, in =
turn,
evolved from corporate middle managers.
HEY! Apes evolved from lawyers.=20
What does a lawyer have in common with a sperm?=20
Each has a 1:50,000,000 chance of becoming a human being.
Earth's biblical birthday was given renewed fame in the historic =
Monkey
Trial of 1925 in Tennessee, in which teacher John Scopes was =
prosecuted for
teaching Darwin's theory of evolution instead of the Creation.
In the trial, Earth's birthdate was ridiculed for being contrary to
scientific fact, especially given all the million-year-old fossils =
sitting
in museums and working for local councils. These accusations were =
answered
first with defiant assertions of faith in the infinite power and =
wisdom of
God, then by a quick mooning.
Over the decades this issue has led to many fights when creationists =
go to
the same flat-warming party as the Big Bang guys. After a few beers, =
the
same argument always comes up: if the Earth is only about 6000 years =
old,
then how come science shows the universe to be 14 billion years old, =
give
or take?
TIme dilation, of course. The Earth has a different FoR, its whizzing =
along at
err.... I'll need my lookup table...
gamma Desired velocity
1 0.000000000000000
10 0.994987437106620
100 0.999949998749938
1000 0.999999499999875
10000 0.999999995000000
100000 0.999999999950000
1000000 0.999999999999500
10000000 0.999999999999995
Yep. 0.999999986858234643542352324144c.
Hence the Earth is 6000 years old and the Universe is 14,000,000,000 =
years
old.
After hours of arguing, with points being conceded by both sides, the
theologians and the cosmologists inevitably agree to disagree and end =
up on
the floor with their arms around each other as they consider how the
discrepancies in their conflicting views of how the universe came to =
be
could all be due to early confusion over the introduction of daylight
saving.
Yet now an exciting new theory has emerged that draws these two =
seemingly
irreconcilable positions together in seamless harmony through the =
unifying
concept of Intelligent Design. This posits that the universe was =
created by
One Almighty God, who didn't make the Earth in six days, but took his =
time
over a number of weekends, with the help of some guys from the office.
Whatever the case, here's wishing Earth a happy 6009th birthday. And =
never
you mind about all those doubting scientists, honey. You don't look a =
day
over 5500.
=
http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/many-happy-returns-earth/2005/10/2=
2/1129775997120.html
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</HEAD>
<BODY bgColor=3D#ffffff>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE dir=3Dltr=20
style=3D"PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; =
BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<DIV>"Robert Karl Stonjek" <<A=20
href=3D"mailto:stonjek@ozemail.com.au">stonjek@ozemail.com.au</A>> =
wrote in=20
message <A=20
=
href=3D"news:q5I6f.25560$U51.4961@news-server.bigpond.net.au">news:q5I6f.=
25560$U51.4961@news-server.bigpond.net.au</A>...</DIV>
<DIV>Many happy returns, Earth<BR>By Jim Schembri<BR>October 23,=20
2005<BR><BR>TODAY is a special day in the history of the planet. For =
it was on=20
Sunday,<BR>October 23, 4004BC - at precisely 9am - that God created =
the Earth.=20
Work<BR>was actually supposed to begin at 7.30am, but even back then =
it was=20
hard<BR>getting hold of tradesmen when you needed them.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=3D#ff0000 size=3D4><EM>Almost but not quite=20
correct.</EM></FONT></DIV><FONT color=3D#ff0000=20
size=3D4><EM></EM></FONT></BLOCKQUOTE>
<BLOCKQUOTE dir=3Dltr=20
style=3D"PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; =
BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<DIV><FONT color=3D#ff0000 size=3D4><EM> God and Son, =
Inc.,</EM></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><EM><FONT color=3D#ff0000 size=3D4>Master World =
Builders</FONT></EM></DIV>
<DIV><EM><FONT color=3D#ff0000 size=3D4>("WE RULE THE =
SKIES")</FONT></EM></DIV>
<DIV><EM><FONT color=3D#ff0000 size=3D4>didn't have any tradesmen =
until=20
</FONT></EM></DIV>
<DIV><EM><FONT color=3D#ff0000 size=3D4>Noah and Sons, Inc., =
</FONT></EM></DIV>
<DIV><EM><FONT color=3D#ff0000 size=3D4>Master Ship =
Builders</FONT></EM></DIV>
<DIV><EM><FONT color=3D#ff0000 size=3D4>("We rule the waves") =
</FONT></EM></DIV>
<DIV><EM><FONT color=3D#ff0000 size=3D4>were =
invented.</FONT></EM></DIV>
<DIV><EM><FONT color=3D#ff0000 size=3D4></FONT></EM> </DIV>
<DIV> <FONT></DIV></FONT><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT>
<DIV><BR>This date was calculated by a gentleman called James Ussher=20
(1581-1656) who<BR>figured out the exact moment of Creation by working =
backwards from all the<BR>key dates mentioned in a copy of the Old =
Testament=20
he lifted from the local<BR>hotel/motel.<BR></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Ussher was a gentleman? I thought he =
was a=20
priest... oh well.</FONT></DIV></BLOCKQUOTE>
<BLOCKQUOTE dir=3Dltr=20
style=3D"PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; =
BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<DIV><BR>Ussher, by the way, was not some hack academic from the =
Middle Ages=20
with<BR>too much time on his hands. He was Archbishop of Armagh,=20
Vice-Chancellor of<BR>Trinity College in Dublin and Primate of all =
Ireland -=20
an important title<BR>that nonetheless reminds people of the gorilla =
enclosure=20
at the zoo when<BR>they hear it.<BR><BR>The date is regarded as sacred =
by=20
hardline creationists who firmly believe<BR>the cosmos was made by God =
in a=20
single business week. This puts them in<BR>conflict with =
evolutionists, who=20
hold that the planets formed over billions<BR>of years from gases, and =
that=20
man evolved from primitive apes who, in turn,<BR>evolved from =
corporate middle=20
managers.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT></BLOCKQUOTE>
<BLOCKQUOTE dir=3Dltr=20
style=3D"PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; =
BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>HEY! Apes evolved from lawyers. =
</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>What does a lawyer </FONT><FONT =
face=3DArial=20
size=3D2>have in common with a sperm? </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Each has a 1:50,000,000 chance of =
becoming a=20
human being.</FONT></DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT><FONT =
face=3DArial=20
size=3D2></FONT>
<DIV><BR><BR>Earth's biblical birthday was given renewed fame in the =
historic=20
Monkey<BR>Trial of 1925 in Tennessee, in which teacher John Scopes was =
prosecuted for<BR>teaching Darwin's theory of evolution instead of the =
Creation.<BR><BR>In the trial, Earth's birthdate was ridiculed for =
being=20
contrary to<BR>scientific fact, especially given all the =
million-year-old=20
fossils sitting<BR>in museums and working for local councils. These=20
accusations were answered<BR>first with defiant assertions of faith in =
the=20
infinite power and wisdom of<BR>God, then by a quick =
mooning.<BR><BR>Over the=20
decades this issue has led to many fights when creationists go =
to<BR>the same=20
flat-warming party as the Big Bang guys. After a few beers, =
the<BR>same=20
argument always comes up: if the Earth is only about 6000 years =
old,<BR>then=20
how come science shows the universe to be 14 billion years old, =
give<BR>or=20
take?</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>TIme dilation, of course. The Earth =
has a=20
different FoR, its whizzing along at</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>err.... I'll need my lookup =
table...</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>gamma Desired=20
velocity<BR> =20
1 0.000000000000000<BR> =20
10 0.994987437106620<BR> =20
100 0.999949998749938<BR> =20
1000 0.999999499999875<BR> =20
10000 0.999999995000000<BR> =20
=
100000 0.999999999950000<BR> 1000000 0.9999999=
99999500<BR>10000000 0.999999999999995<BR></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Yep.=20
0.999999986858234643542352324144c.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Hence the Earth is 6000 years old and =
the=20
Universe is 14,000,000,000 years</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>old.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT><BR>After hours of arguing, =
with points=20
being conceded by both sides, the<BR>theologians and the cosmologists=20
inevitably agree to disagree and end up on<BR>the floor with their =
arms around=20
each other as they consider how the<BR>discrepancies in their =
conflicting=20
views of how the universe came to be<BR>could all be due to early =
confusion=20
over the introduction of daylight<BR>saving.<BR><BR>Yet now an =
exciting new=20
theory has emerged that draws these two seemingly<BR>irreconcilable =
positions=20
together in seamless harmony through the unifying<BR>concept of =
Intelligent=20
Design. This posits that the universe was created by<BR>One Almighty =
God, who=20
didn't make the Earth in six days, but took his time<BR>over a number =
of=20
weekends, with the help of some guys from the office.<BR><BR>Whatever =
the=20
case, here's wishing Earth a happy 6009th birthday. And never<BR>you =
mind=20
about all those doubting scientists, honey. You don't look a =
day<BR>over=20
5500.<BR></DIV>
<DIV>
<DIV><A=20
=
href=3D"http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/many-happy-returns-earth/2=
005/10/22/1129775997120.html">http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/many=
-happy-returns-earth/2005/10/22/1129775997120.html</A></DIV></DIV></BLOCK=
QUOTE></BODY></HTML>
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