| Topic: |
Science > Physics |
| User: |
"Too Many Kooks Spoil the Brothel" |
| Date: |
04 Aug 2005 05:15:38 AM |
| Object: |
Travellers : Beware Bearers of Almond Knapsacks |
The ever-watchful My Five (of whom I am encantadered to count myself a
member) has been gaining intelligence of the extraordinary and wicked
uses to which terrorists are putting ordinary everyday items. We are
happy to share this important information with you, on this our
fortnightly anniversary.
You should watch out for Muslims buying pork bangers in butchers and
supermarkets. They may be planning to set them off on Londonium
transport. Beware especially of Pakistanis eating in MacDonalds. They
are obviously prepared for any desperate venture.
We have intelligence that terrorists are planning to spread bird flu in
the Londonium Blunderground by releasing pigeons into the system.
They'll say, Look! A bird flew!
Commuters on Rittish Brail should particularly be wary of cups of old
tea. They may be thermonuclear bombs, worked by the principle of cold
infusion. (Our sci.physics readers might care to verify the virility
of these fiendish devices. So may Rittish Brail travellers.)
But we are also encouraging measures for the general safety of the
public. We hope in future , dear readers, to get Muslim women to walk
naked in public, to show they have nothing to hide. Especially that
crumpet round the corner with the big, bouncy boobie-doobies. Way
h-e-e-e-y!!!
Readers should, as ever, remain calm, go about their business, but
~*~*~*BE ON THE LOOKOUT*~*~*~
Good luck!
.
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| User: "Uncle Al" |
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| Title: Re: Travellers : Beware Bearers of Almond Knapsacks |
04 Aug 2005 02:28:50 PM |
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Too Many Kooks Spoil the Brothel wrote:
[snip]
You should watch out for Muslims buying pork bangers in butchers and
supermarkets. They may be planning to set them off on Londonium
transport. Beware especially of Pakistanis eating in MacDonalds. They
are obviously prepared for any desperate venture.
[snip]
http://www.wnbc.com/news/4806577/detail.html
http://www.frogfot.com/he/hmtd.html
Detonation velocity of 4511 m/sec.
<http://www.sciencemadness.org/library/HMTD_structure.html>
<http://pubs.nrc-cnrc.gc.ca/cgi-bin/rp/rp2_abst_e?cjc_v99-118_77_ns_nf_cjc>
http://www.chem.ubc.ca/safety/PEC_sorted.pdf
http://www.chm.uri.edu/urichm/brochure/people/jls.html
http://www.chm.uri.edu/urichm/brochure/people/jo.html
The punch line, courtesy of Canukistan
--
Uncle Al
http://www.mazepath.com/uncleal/
(Toxic URL! Unsafe for children and most mammals)
http://www.mazepath.com/uncleal/qz.pdf
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| User: "Too Many Kooks Spoil the Brothel" |
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| Title: Re: Travellers : Beware Bearers of Almond Knapsacks |
06 Aug 2005 04:54:47 AM |
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Unky Alby inscribeth:
Too Many Kooks Spoil the Brothel wrote:
[snip]
You should watch out for Muslims buying pork bangers in butchers and
supermarkets. They may be planning to set them off on Londonium
transport. Beware especially of Pakistanis eating in MacDonalds. They
are obviously prepared for any desperate venture.
[snip]
http://www.wnbc.com/news/4806577/detail.html
Thank you for the news, Uncle! It was highly amusing.
Disappointed you didn't supply anything on *COLD INFUSION*.
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| User: "Uncle Al" |
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| Title: Re: Travellers : Beware Bearers of Almond Knapsacks |
06 Aug 2005 02:48:49 PM |
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Too Many Kooks Spoil the Brothel wrote:
Unky Alby inscribeth:
Too Many Kooks Spoil the Brothel wrote:
[snip]
You should watch out for Muslims buying pork bangers in butchers and
supermarkets. They may be planning to set them off on Londonium
transport. Beware especially of Pakistanis eating in MacDonalds. They
are obviously prepared for any desperate venture.
[snip]
http://www.wnbc.com/news/4806577/detail.html
Thank you for the news, Uncle! It was highly amusing.
Disappointed you didn't supply anything on *COLD INFUSION*.
Does Allah look kindly upon enema nozzles and ice water? We may be
onto a prime cause here. Prince Charles is heavily into coffee
enemas. Even a fool could extrapolate the eventual conflict -
especially a fool.
--
Uncle Al
http://www.mazepath.com/uncleal/
(Toxic URL! Unsafe for children and most mammals)
http://www.mazepath.com/uncleal/qz.pdf
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: Travellers : Beware Bearers of Almond Knapsacks |
06 Aug 2005 10:57:27 PM |
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On Sat, 06 Aug 2005 12:48:49 -0700, Uncle Al <UncleAl0@hate.spam.net>
wrote:
Prince Charles is heavily into coffee enemas.
He doesn't like them to be too sweet though. Probably a one lumper.
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| User: "Too Many Kooks Spoil the Brothel" |
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| Title: Re: Travellers : Beware Bearers of Almond Knapsacks |
08 Aug 2005 04:53:59 AM |
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Uncle Al wrote:
Too Many Kooks Spoil the Brothel wrote:
Unky Alby inscribeth:
Too Many Kooks Spoil the Brothel wrote:
[snip]
You should watch out for Muslims buying pork bangers in butchers and
supermarkets. They may be planning to set them off on Londonium
transport. Beware especially of Pakistanis eating in MacDonalds. They
are obviously prepared for any desperate venture.
[snip]
http://www.wnbc.com/news/4806577/detail.html
Thank you for the news, Uncle! It was highly amusing.
Disappointed you didn't supply anything on *COLD INFUSION*.
Does Allah look kindly upon enema nozzles and ice water? We may be
onto a prime cause here.
We must investigate this possibility more fully. Muslims could convert
*themselves* into bombs, without the need for knapsacks, by introducing
explosives through one or more of their orifices. (Which will be a
matter of personal preference.)
Prince Charles is heavily into coffee
enemas. Even a fool could extrapolate the eventual conflict -
especially a fool.
I will get on to April in the typing puddle about this one. (We can't
afford a pool at the moment.)
MEANWHILE, I MUST REITERATE AN URGENT WARNING ABOUT MUSLIMS FILLING
THEIR BAGGY PANTS (or possibly now their bodies) WITH EXPLODING
STRAWBERRY BLANCMANGE.
***BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR ANYONE RUNNING ALONG A BLUNDERGROUND STATION
PLATFORM WITH HIS BAGGY PANTS GOING GLUG-GLUG-GLUG. (AND PERHAPS WITH
PINK STAINS ON THEM.).***
Our valiant My Five snipers are stationed at strategic points, equipped
with ice bullets in order to puncture the baggy pants without the risk
of an explosion.
We can only stand by and wish them luck.
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