| Topic: |
Science > Physics |
| User: |
"or www.mantra.com/jai Dr. Jai Maharaj" |
| Date: |
22 Aug 2006 04:21:56 PM |
| Object: |
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS |
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS
Forwarded message
Understanding Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students were walking
across a university campus when one
said, "Where did you get such a great
bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I
was walking along yesterday, minding
my own business, when a beautiful
woman rode up on this bike, threw it
to the ground, took off all her
clothes and said, "Take what you
want."
The second engineer nodded
approvingly and said, "Good choice;
the clothes probably wouldn't have
fit you anyway."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half
full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half
empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice
as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer
were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with
those blokes? We must have been
waiting for fifteen minutes!" The
doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but
I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the
greens keeper. Let's have a word with
him." He said, "Hello, George! what's
wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes.
That's a group of blind fire
fighters. They lost their sight
saving our clubhouse from a fire last
year, so we always let them play for
free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
Then the priest said, "That's so sad.
I think I will say a special prayer
for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm
going to contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything
he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they
play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between
mechanical engineers and civil
engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons;
civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a science degree
asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering
degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting
degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree
asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were
gathered together discussing the
possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical
engineer. Just look at all the
joints."
Another said, "No, it was an
electrical engineer. The nervous
system has many thousands of
electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it
had to have been a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste
pipeline through a recreational
area?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
Normal people believe that if it
ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers
believe that if it ain't broke, it
doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one
day, when a frog called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn
into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and
put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If
you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I will stay with
you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his
pocket, smiled at it and returned it
to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss
me and turn me back into a Princess,
I'll stay with you for one week and
do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog
out, smiled at it and put it back
into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the
matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful
princess, and that I'll stay with you
for one week and do anything you
want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "I don't have time
for a girlfriend, but a talking frog,
now that's cool."
End of forwarded message
Jai Maharaj
http://tinyurl.com/a5ljc
http://www.mantra.com/jai
Om Shanti
Hindu Holocaust Museum
http://www.mantra.com/holocaust
Hindu life, principles, spirituality and philosophy
http://www.hindu.org
http://www.hindunet.org
The truth about Islam and Muslims
http://www.flex.com/~jai/satyamevajayate
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|
|
| User: "Sorcerer" |
|
| Title: Re: UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS |
22 Aug 2006 06:23:02 PM |
|
|
Wonderful!
How practical we engineers are.
UNDERSTANDING PHYSICISTS
Understanding physicists - Take One
Two physics students were walking
across a university campus when one
said, "How did you get such a glum
face"
The second student replied, "Well, I
was walking along yesterday, minding
my own business, when a beautiful
woman rode up on this bike, threw it
to the ground, took off all her
clothes and said, "Take what you
want."
The second student shook his head
disapprovingly and said, "Bad choice;
the herpes must be very sore"
Understanding Physicists - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half
full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half
empty.
To the physicist, the glass is half
as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Physicists - Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and a physicist
were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.
The physicist fumed, "What's with
those chap? We must have been
waiting for fifteen minutes!" The
doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but
I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the
greens keeper. Let's have a word with
him." He said, "Hello, George! what's
wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes.
That's a group of blind fire
fighters. They lost their sight
saving our clubhouse from a fire last
year, so we always let them play for
free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
Then the priest said, "That's so sad.
I think I will say a special prayer
for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm
going to contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything
he can do for them."
The physicist said, "Yes, ok, but why
can't they play any faster?"
Understanding Physicists - Take Four
What is the difference between theoretical
physicists and practicing physicists?
Relativity.
Understanding Physicists - Take Five
The graduate with a physics degree asks,
"Why does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting
degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree
asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
The graduate with a math degree asks,
"What are you three blabbing about?
It works, doesn't it? "
Understanding Physicists - Take Six
Three physics students were
gathered together discussing the
possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a software engineer,
look at the intelligence of the mind".
Another said, "No, it was computer scientist.
The nervous system has many thousands of
electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have
been a therotical physicist; Who else would
run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational
area?"
Understanding Physicists - Take Seven
Normal engineers believe that if it
ain't broke, don't fix it. Physicists believe that
if it ain't broke, add Einstein's relativity to it.
Understanding Physicists - Take Eight
A physicist was crossing a road one
day, when a frog called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn
into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and
kissed it.
The frog immediately turned into a
beautiful princess, wiped her lips with
the back of her hand and said "Cheers
mate, I'm off. Have a nice day".
Androcles
.
|
|
|
| User: "are we on same page?" |
|
| Title: Re: UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS |
22 Aug 2006 08:11:37 PM |
|
|
so, why are they called the nerds?
"Sorcerer" <Headmaster@hogwarts.physics_a> wrote in message
news:qlMGg.147571$F8.132914@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
Wonderful!
How practical we engineers are.
UNDERSTANDING PHYSICISTS
Understanding physicists - Take One
Two physics students were walking
across a university campus when one
said, "How did you get such a glum
face"
The second student replied, "Well, I
was walking along yesterday, minding
my own business, when a beautiful
woman rode up on this bike, threw it
to the ground, took off all her
clothes and said, "Take what you
want."
The second student shook his head
disapprovingly and said, "Bad choice;
the herpes must be very sore"
Understanding Physicists - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half
full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half
empty.
To the physicist, the glass is half
as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Physicists - Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and a physicist
were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.
The physicist fumed, "What's with
those chap? We must have been
waiting for fifteen minutes!" The
doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but
I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the
greens keeper. Let's have a word with
him." He said, "Hello, George! what's
wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes.
That's a group of blind fire
fighters. They lost their sight
saving our clubhouse from a fire last
year, so we always let them play for
free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
Then the priest said, "That's so sad.
I think I will say a special prayer
for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm
going to contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything
he can do for them."
The physicist said, "Yes, ok, but why
can't they play any faster?"
Understanding Physicists - Take Four
What is the difference between theoretical
physicists and practicing physicists?
Relativity.
Understanding Physicists - Take Five
The graduate with a physics degree asks,
"Why does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting
degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree
asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
The graduate with a math degree asks,
"What are you three blabbing about?
It works, doesn't it? "
Understanding Physicists - Take Six
Three physics students were
gathered together discussing the
possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a software engineer,
look at the intelligence of the mind".
Another said, "No, it was computer scientist.
The nervous system has many thousands of
electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have
been a therotical physicist; Who else would
run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational
area?"
Understanding Physicists - Take Seven
Normal engineers believe that if it
ain't broke, don't fix it. Physicists believe that
if it ain't broke, add Einstein's relativity to it.
Understanding Physicists - Take Eight
A physicist was crossing a road one
day, when a frog called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn
into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and
kissed it.
The frog immediately turned into a
beautiful princess, wiped her lips with
the back of her hand and said "Cheers
mate, I'm off. Have a nice day".
Androcles
.
|
|
|
| User: "or www.mantra.com/jai Dr. Jai Maharaj" |
|
| Title: Re: UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS |
23 Aug 2006 03:29:49 AM |
|
|
Are you referring to software "engineers"?
Jai Maharaj
http://tinyurl.com/a5ljc
http://www.mantra.com/jai
Om Shanti
In article <eXNGg.20388$yO4.18441@dukeread02>,
"are we on same page?" <sayhello@hotmail.com> posted:
so, why are they called the nerds?
Dr. Jai Maharaj posted:
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS
Forwarded message
Understanding Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students were walking
across a university campus when one
said, "Where did you get such a great
bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I
was walking along yesterday, minding
my own business, when a beautiful
woman rode up on this bike, threw it
to the ground, took off all her
clothes and said, "Take what you
want."
The second engineer nodded
approvingly and said, "Good choice;
the clothes probably wouldn't have
fit you anyway."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half
full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half
empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice
as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer
were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with
those blokes? We must have been
waiting for fifteen minutes!" The
doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but
I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the
greens keeper. Let's have a word with
him." He said, "Hello, George! what's
wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes.
That's a group of blind fire
fighters. They lost their sight
saving our clubhouse from a fire last
year, so we always let them play for
free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
Then the priest said, "That's so sad.
I think I will say a special prayer
for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm
going to contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything
he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they
play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between
mechanical engineers and civil
engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons;
civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a science degree
asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering
degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting
degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree
asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were
gathered together discussing the
possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical
engineer. Just look at all the
joints."
Another said, "No, it was an
electrical engineer. The nervous
system has many thousands of
electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it
had to have been a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste
pipeline through a recreational
area?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
Normal people believe that if it
ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers
believe that if it ain't broke, it
doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one
day, when a frog called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn
into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and
put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If
you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I will stay with
you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his
pocket, smiled at it and returned it
to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss
me and turn me back into a Princess,
I'll stay with you for one week and
do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog
out, smiled at it and put it back
into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the
matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful
princess, and that I'll stay with you
for one week and do anything you
want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "I don't have time
for a girlfriend, but a talking frog,
now that's cool."
End of forwarded message
Jai Maharaj
http://tinyurl.com/a5ljc
http://www.mantra.com/jai
Om Shanti
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Sorcerer" |
|
| Title: Re: UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS |
22 Aug 2006 08:36:33 PM |
|
|
NE-gative_thinking R-elativist D-ork = NE .R.D.
Androcles
"are we on same page?" <sayhello@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:eXNGg.20388$yO4.18441@dukeread02...
| so, why are they called the nerds?
|
|
| "Sorcerer" <Headmaster@hogwarts.physics_a> wrote in message
| news:qlMGg.147571$F8.132914@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
| > Wonderful!
| > How practical we engineers are.
| >
| >
| > UNDERSTANDING PHYSICISTS
| >
| > Understanding physicists - Take One
| >
| > Two physics students were walking
| > across a university campus when one
| > said, "How did you get such a glum
| > face"
| >
| > The second student replied, "Well, I
| > was walking along yesterday, minding
| > my own business, when a beautiful
| > woman rode up on this bike, threw it
| > to the ground, took off all her
| > clothes and said, "Take what you
| > want."
| >
| > The second student shook his head
| > disapprovingly and said, "Bad choice;
| > the herpes must be very sore"
| >
| > Understanding Physicists - Take Two
| >
| > To the optimist, the glass is half
| > full.
| >
| > To the pessimist, the glass is half
| > empty.
| >
| > To the physicist, the glass is half
| > as big as it needs to be.
| >
| >
| > Understanding Physicists - Take Three
| >
| > A priest, a doctor, and a physicist
| > were waiting one morning for a
| > particularly slow group of golfers.
| >
| > The physicist fumed, "What's with
| > those chap? We must have been
| > waiting for fifteen minutes!" The
| > doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but
| > I've never seen such inept golf!"
| >
| > The priest said, "Here comes the
| > greens keeper. Let's have a word with
| > him." He said, "Hello, George! what's
| > wrong with that group ahead of us?
| > They're rather slow, aren't they?"
| >
| > The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes.
| > That's a group of blind fire
| > fighters. They lost their sight
| > saving our clubhouse from a fire last
| > year, so we always let them play for
| > free anytime."
| >
| > The group fell silent for a moment.
| > Then the priest said, "That's so sad.
| > I think I will say a special prayer
| > for them tonight."
| >
| > The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm
| > going to contact my ophthalmologist
| > colleague and see if there's anything
| > he can do for them."
| >
| > The physicist said, "Yes, ok, but why
| > can't they play any faster?"
| >
| > Understanding Physicists - Take Four
| >
| > What is the difference between theoretical
| > physicists and practicing physicists?
| >
| > Relativity.
| >
| >
| > Understanding Physicists - Take Five
| >
| > The graduate with a physics degree asks,
| > "Why does it work?"
| >
| > The graduate with an accounting
| > degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
| >
| > The graduate with an arts degree
| > asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
| >
| > The graduate with a math degree asks,
| > "What are you three blabbing about?
| > It works, doesn't it? "
| >
| > Understanding Physicists - Take Six
| >
| > Three physics students were
| > gathered together discussing the
| > possible designers of the human body.
| > One said, "It was a software engineer,
| > look at the intelligence of the mind".
| >
| > Another said, "No, it was computer scientist.
| > The nervous system has many thousands of
| > electrical connections."
| >
| > The last one said, "No, actually it had to have
| > been a therotical physicist; Who else would
| > run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational
| > area?"
| >
| >
| > Understanding Physicists - Take Seven
| >
| > Normal engineers believe that if it
| > ain't broke, don't fix it. Physicists believe that
| > if it ain't broke, add Einstein's relativity to it.
| >
| >
| > Understanding Physicists - Take Eight
| >
| > A physicist was crossing a road one
| > day, when a frog called out to him
| > and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn
| > into a beautiful princess."
| >
| > He bent over, picked up the frog and
| > kissed it.
| > The frog immediately turned into a
| > beautiful princess, wiped her lips with
| > the back of her hand and said "Cheers
| > mate, I'm off. Have a nice day".
| >
| > Androcles
| >
| >
| >
|
|
.
|
|
|
| User: "or www.mantra.com/jai Dr. Jai Maharaj" |
|
| Title: Re: UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS |
23 Aug 2006 03:36:58 AM |
|
|
NERD - Not Engineer, Really Dull.
NERD - A person with limited social, but average skills and interests.
"swot: an insignificant student who is ridiculed as being affected
or studying excessively"
- http://wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn%3Fs%3Dnerd
Jai Maharaj
http://tinyurl.com/a5ljc
http://www.mantra.com/jai
Om Shanti
In article <BiOGg.147585$F8.130789@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk>,
"Sorcerer" <Headmaster@hogwarts.physics_a> posted:
NE-gative_thinking R-elativist D-ork = NE .R.D.
Androcles
"are we on same page?" <sayhello@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:eXNGg.20388$yO4.18441@dukeread02...
| so, why are they called the nerds?
|
|
| "Sorcerer" <Headmaster@hogwarts.physics_a> wrote in message
| news:qlMGg.147571$F8.132914@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
|
| > Wonderful!
| > How practical we engineers are.
| >
| >
| > UNDERSTANDING PHYSICISTS
| >
| > Understanding physicists - Take One
| >
| > Two physics students were walking
| > across a university campus when one
| > said, "How did you get such a glum
| > face"
| >
| > The second student replied, "Well, I
| > was walking along yesterday, minding
| > my own business, when a beautiful
| > woman rode up on this bike, threw it
| > to the ground, took off all her
| > clothes and said, "Take what you
| > want."
| >
| > The second student shook his head
| > disapprovingly and said, "Bad choice;
| > the herpes must be very sore"
| >
| > Understanding Physicists - Take Two
| >
| > To the optimist, the glass is half
| > full.
| >
| > To the pessimist, the glass is half
| > empty.
| >
| > To the physicist, the glass is half
| > as big as it needs to be.
| >
| >
| > Understanding Physicists - Take Three
| >
| > A priest, a doctor, and a physicist
| > were waiting one morning for a
| > particularly slow group of golfers.
| >
| > The physicist fumed, "What's with
| > those chap? We must have been
| > waiting for fifteen minutes!" The
| > doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but
| > I've never seen such inept golf!"
| >
| > The priest said, "Here comes the
| > greens keeper. Let's have a word with
| > him." He said, "Hello, George! what's
| > wrong with that group ahead of us?
| > They're rather slow, aren't they?"
| >
| > The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes.
| > That's a group of blind fire
| > fighters. They lost their sight
| > saving our clubhouse from a fire last
| > year, so we always let them play for
| > free anytime."
| >
| > The group fell silent for a moment.
| > Then the priest said, "That's so sad.
| > I think I will say a special prayer
| > for them tonight."
| >
| > The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm
| > going to contact my ophthalmologist
| > colleague and see if there's anything
| > he can do for them."
| >
| > The physicist said, "Yes, ok, but why
| > can't they play any faster?"
| >
| > Understanding Physicists - Take Four
| >
| > What is the difference between theoretical
| > physicists and practicing physicists?
| >
| > Relativity.
| >
| >
| > Understanding Physicists - Take Five
| >
| > The graduate with a physics degree asks,
| > "Why does it work?"
| >
| > The graduate with an accounting
| > degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
| >
| > The graduate with an arts degree
| > asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
| >
| > The graduate with a math degree asks,
| > "What are you three blabbing about?
| > It works, doesn't it? "
| >
| > Understanding Physicists - Take Six
| >
| > Three physics students were
| > gathered together discussing the
| > possible designers of the human body.
| > One said, "It was a software engineer,
| > look at the intelligence of the mind".
| >
| > Another said, "No, it was computer scientist.
| > The nervous system has many thousands of
| > electrical connections."
| >
| > The last one said, "No, actually it had to have
| > been a therotical physicist; Who else would
| > run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational
| > area?"
| >
| >
| > Understanding Physicists - Take Seven
| >
| > Normal engineers believe that if it
| > ain't broke, don't fix it. Physicists believe that
| > if it ain't broke, add Einstein's relativity to it.
| >
| >
| > Understanding Physicists - Take Eight
| >
| > A physicist was crossing a road one
| > day, when a frog called out to him
| > and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn
| > into a beautiful princess."
| >
| > He bent over, picked up the frog and
| > kissed it.
| > The frog immediately turned into a
| > beautiful princess, wiped her lips with
| > the back of her hand and said "Cheers
| > mate, I'm off. Have a nice day".
| >
| > Androcles
| >
| >
| >
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