Subject: Fw: FW: I'm heading to Mexico]


MR. PRESIDENT, I'M HEADED TO MEXICO

David M. Bresnahan

April 1, 2006

NewsWithViews.com

Dear President Bush:

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended
family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to
walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need
to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this.
I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports,
immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things
the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your
buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please
let him know that I will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I
might
need, whether I use them or not.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and
history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on
the top of the flag
pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower
down.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast
and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so
I can get easy access to
government services.
9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make
any effort
to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get
the memo
from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that
all police officers speak English.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag
decals on
my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I
do not want any complaints or negative comments from the
locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any
taxes, and
don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely
nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the
strain I might place on the economy.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all
these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from
Mexico. I am sure that
Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him
nicely. However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him
to go quail hunting with your V.P. Thank you so much for your
kind help.


Sincerely,

David M. Bresnahan