Peter Terry wrote:

BIG BLACK MEN STILL RULE!!!

Yeah! and here's a good example! White rulers may be assholes and
crooks , but when it comes to murderous bloodthirsty African dictators,
you're right . . . BIG BLACK MEN STILL RULE!!


Copyright © 2004 The American Conservative

October 11, 2004 issue


Heart of Darkness

By Taki

Here’s a tip to those young whippersnappers Sam Francis calls
post-Buckley geniuses. (You know the kind. They call for non-stop war in
order to gain non-stop peace.) There’s a very nice place by the name of
Equatorial Guinea, somewhere below the Sahara, where most of the dirty
work has already been done. Couple of thousand Marines can do the trick,
and we’ll get more oil out of the place than we ever hope to get from
Iraq. No, I have not been drinking.

It’s the fiefdom run by that nice guy Teodoro Obiang Nguema, who came to
power by overthrowing his uncle back in 1979. In order to ensure that
the wicked uncle did not in turn pull a number on him, Teodoro had him
killed and then devoured his testicles. I kid you not. Teodoro is
reputed to eat a lot of testicles (he believes that he absorbs their
power) because he’s killed a hell of a lot of people. In fact, Teodoro
is the African equivalent of Pol Pot, the Cambodian folk hero who
murdered more than a third of his countrymen but had the decency not to
eat their balls.

The good news about Equatorial Guinea is that it’s the third-largest oil
exporter in Africa and has only 500,000 inhabitants, the rest having
been driven out or murdered by Teodoro and his uncle, the first
president, Francisco Macias. This is a kind of country whose heart of
darkness Joseph Conrad could not do justice to. Macias, who was elected
numero uno upon independence in 1968, used to get nervous among educated
folk, so he killed everyone who wore spectacles, a sure sign in his mind
of superior educational accomplishment. Books, too, were a no-no, and
under him forced labor was re-introduced. Papa Macias used to keep the
treasury under his bed. The country’s electricity was turned off when he
traveled outside the capital, and the only imported goods available in
the market were tinned sardines and pink champagne.

Foreign aid during Macias’s time was 90 percent of the gross national
product, but pink champagne, left over from a summit of West African
potentates, was always available. So far so bad. Then Teodoro decided he
had had enough. Macias had not been paying the National Guard, which
Teodoro commanded, so Teodoro knocked him off and feasted on his
you-know-what. Thirteen years later, in 1992, oil was discovered
offshore, and suddenly Equatorial Guinea was rich. Actually, the only
ones who got rich were Teodoro and his family. Equatorial Guinea now
produces more than a barrel of oil per day per inhabitant, but you
wouldn’t know it judging by their standard of living.

The civilized world, of course, sat up and took notice. It demanded that
Teodoro hold elections, which he duly did and does rather regularly.
Surprisingly, he wins every time by gaining 99.99 percent of the votes.
The majority of what’s left of the population lives in extreme poverty,
even by African standards. There is no clean water, no sanitation or
medicine. There are malaria-infested mangrove swamps, dense forests, and
small clearings for mud-hut villages. The peoples’ diet consists mostly
of monkeys, porcupines, and rats.

This, then, is the paradise that has been in the news lately, the one
Sir Mark Thatcher, son of the Iron Lady, is supposed to have plotted to
overthrow six months ago. Well, as luck would have it, I dined with Lady
Thatcher recently, and it’s all poppycock. There was a plot to overthrow
Teodoro, and mercenaries led by an Old Etonian, Simon Mann, were
arrested in Zimbabwe trying to buy arms. Mann was a friend and neighbor
of Mark Thatcher’s in South Africa, which means the British popular
press put two and two together and, as usual, got five. Such are the
joys of conspiracy theories or celebrity or whatever you want to call
it.

Here are the facts: Teodoro, like most bloodthirsty African dictators,
should have been overthrown long ago. Teodoro’s opposition in Spanish
exile contacted Mann, who then put bids out. A rich Lebanese, Ely Calil,
and other businessmen came up with the “wonga.” Obviously they were not
solely motivated by a burning ambition to bring democracy to that
hellhole. I don’t know many businessmen who are, but backing the right
horse in an oil-rich country like EG can come up trumps.

What I’d like to know is why the outrage from some. If Uncle Sam can do
it, why can’t Calil or Mann? Where do you think Teodoro stashes his
loot, having learned from his uncle not to keep it under the bed? In our
very own Washington, D.C. Riggs bank. Despite the billions Teodoro has
squirreled away in D.C., his country still receives foreign aid, mainly
from China, Cuba, France, and Spain. A senior Pentagon official was
tipped off that Teodoro might be in trouble, and American firms such as
Amerada Hess and Exxon might have their oil flow disrupted, so they blew
the whistle on the plotters. Mann is most likely to die in a Zimbabwe
prison, as are others caught in EG, but in the meantime Riggs bank is
doing fine. Perhaps there will even be a dinner soon for Teodoro. I only
hope they don’t serve his favorite dish.