How I Stole Your Election
The first thing I did to steal your election was to make friends with ALL
the manufacturers and code-verifiers of the Electronic Voting Machines.
They were really nice, especially Diebold who gave me $600,000 for my
campaign. Wow, thanks dude!
http://nuclearfree.lynx.co.nz/stealing.htm
Next, I had my attack dog, Karl Rove, convince these companies to either
alter the vote totals on the central tabulator machines (simple PCs running
windows using Remote Access Server -- RAS), or reprogram (via a downloadable
software patch) the voting machines themselves so that they would give the
advantage to ME! Isn't America great?!? A little money and some religious
zealotry goes a looooong, loooong way. Oh, the religious zealotry thing?
That's just a cover. I'm not really a Christian -- or at least I don't act
like one. Anyway, I digress.
http://www.ejfi.org/Voting/Voting-25.htm#rig
Did you ever hear the media complaining about how inaccurate the exit polls
were in prior elections? No. That's because they basically ARE accurate.
But this election, the exit polls showed Kerry WAY ahead. No problem. My
buddies rigged the machines (and all they needed to do was rig it in one
state, Ohio, but they took care of at least Florida for me too) not only to
make me squeak by in the important battleground states, like Florida and
Ohio, but they also made sure that when I did get a state that I was
expected to win, the margin was HUGE so that my "popular" vote would make it
look like I had a mandate.
So let's recap how the popular vote thing worked again. Let's say we didn't
want it to look suspicious by taking states that Kerry really would have won
(except for Ohio and Florida, gotta take those! heh heh). So we let him win
there, but in order once again to boost the "popular" vote (I put that in
quotes because as you know, I'm not REALLY popular), we bring my vote
tallies RIGHT UP NEXT to Kerry's, to jack up the "popular" vote as much as
possible, even if I didn't win the state.
Then, with states like North Carolina, we know we're going to steal the
state anyway (at least according to what the exit polls were telling
everyone.... and according to the long, long lines of new voters were
telling everyone ... because we all know most of those people were voting
for Kerry, not the status quo), so we just jack the crap out of the vote
total to REALLY stuff a crapload of "popular" votes in my pocket. You see,
this way I can get on the TV and declare that I have a "mandate" and that
I'm going to "cash in" on my political "capital" (which I don't really have
of course, but we made it look that way).
Here's a nice chart to show you what I mean. Take special note of how the
electronic voting machine totals compare to the paper ballot totals. And
see what I mean about North Carolina?
http://www.bandsagainstbush.org/cgi-bin/archives/exit_poll.gif
Look folks, if you really want me out of office, first you're going to have
to impeach me. But you know what, if you don't have verifiable paper trails
at the polls like these folks recommend (
http://openvotingconsortium.org/ ), and if you don't take these voting
machines out of the hands of private companies that are aligned with one end
of the political spectrum, then I'm gonna just continue to hose you (and
then my brother Jeb will be president too cause we're into this dynasty
thing, kind of like my buddies the Saudis... ain't it cool?!?). Also, in
2006, we're going to steal about five more senate seats, and then we'll have
the "super-majority". That means the Democrats can't do that confounded
fillerbs... fillas.... filibusters.... CRAP, well, they can't get in the
darn way any more and we can pass ANY laws we want about ANYTHING and put
whoever we want on the Supreme court. Ha ha, then you're REALLY screwed.
So if you don't fix this mess (I mean great system) in two years and have a
verifiable voting system nationwide, America is MINE!!!!! (and Jeb's and my
daddy's and Cheney's and Rove's... hey, we could even pass a law saying I
could be president for FOUR MORE YEARS after 2008! That would be SOOO
cool!) Anyway, I digress once again.
Here's one of my favorite sites:
http://www.nogw.com/electionfraud.html
And that pesky Bev Harris. Man I wish she would go away. If too many of you
contribute to her cause, I might just get in trouble so KNOCK IT OFF!!
http://www.blackboxvoting.org/
I've said it before and I'll say it again, "Fool me once.....", oh CRAP, I
forgot again. Well how about this? "This would be a heck of lot easier if
this was [grammar incorrect] a dictatorship.... just so long as I'm the
dictator. Heh, heh." Well, sorry to say folks, but I got my way. What are
you gonna do about it, huh? Bring it on!!!
http://votergate.tv/votergate/votergatethemovie_64kb.mov
"Sincerely" Yours,
"President" George W. Bush
P.S. Pass it on! I dare ya.
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