| Topic: |
Politics > Politics-USA |
| User: |
"Harry Hope" |
| Date: |
20 May 2007 08:54:06 PM |
| Object: |
Hypothetical questions for Republican dwarfs |
Hats off to Brit Hume of Fox News for posing perhaps the most
preposterous question ever asked at a presidential debate.
Here's the question in full, from last week's Republican debate in
South Carolina:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/15/us/politics/16repubs-text.html?_r=2&pagewanted=all&oref=slogin
Three shopping centers near major U.S. cities have been hit by suicide
bombers.
Hundreds are dead, thousands injured.
A fourth attack has been averted when the attackers were captured off
the Florida coast and taken to Guantanamo Bay, where they are being
questioned.
U.S. intelligence believes that another larger attack is planned and
could come at any time.
First question to you, Senator McCain.
How aggressively would you interrogate those being held at Guantanamo
Bay for information about where the next attack might be?
Gee, Brit.
How long did it take you to come up with that one, not including the
time you spent touching yourself while you were thinking about it?
I mean, it's not even really a question, is it?
You might as well have told the candidates to get their dicks out and
measure them.
Oh well.
Since we're now at the stage where we're encouraging the Republican
candidates to contemplate entirely fictional events in order to
demonstrate the size of their manly genitals, I've got some
submissions for the next Fox News-sponsored debate:
You are on your way to your local Home Depot to buy an MSA Safety
Works U.S. Patriotic Hard Hat.
In the parking lot you find a crowd of suspicious-looking Hispanic
males who appear to be searching for employment.
One of the men approaches you and in a thick accent attempts to sell
you a Remington electric hedge trimmer which he will not admit to
puchasing legally.
When you politely decline he becomes angry and pulls an American flag
from his pocket, which he proceeds to set fire to and stamp upon,
simultaneously taunting you with pro-Mexican slogans.
Congressman Tancredo: how unacceptable do you find this behavior?
You are vacationing in Simi Valley, California, when you decide to
visit the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and pay your respects at
the resting place of our greatest president.
Upon arriving at the tomb, you discover that Osama bin Laden has
exhumed Reagan's coffin, opened it, and is attempting to mount the
former president's dead body.
You are armed only with a decorative ballpoint pen which you purchased
from the gift shop just moments earlier.
Mayor Giuliani: describe in detail the suffering you would inflict
upon bin Laden using only the pen and your bare hands.
You are striding boldly across the surface of the moon when you
discover Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction in an large
brown duffel bag.
Upon further investigation, you discover that the bag bears a nametag
indicating that it is the property of one "M. Ahmadinejad."
Senator McCain: how quickly would you unleash the awesome destructive
power of the United States military on the godless heathens of Iran?
By EarlG
Democratic Underground
http://www.democraticunderground.com/
Harry
.
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