From The Hartford Advocate, 5/5/05:
http://hartfordadvocate.com/gbase/News/content?oid=oid:110489
Reign of Errors
If you´re wrong, you must be right (wing)
by Alan Bisbort - May 5, 2005
One thing that baffles me about the reigning royalty of right-dum --
O'Reilly, Coulter, Limbaugh, Novak, Peggy Noonan, William Bennett,
etc. -- is how they manage to keep an audience.
Even the most damaging or perverted revelations about their personal
behavior or financial shenanigans don't blunt the size of their
audience.
Even when they can't seem to open their mouths without lying -- and
the lies are exposed to fresh air -- it doesn't matter.
Take Limbaugh, a drug addict who forced his housemaid to score
"Hillbilly heroin" for him.
He's facing criminal prosecution for his drug deals (when, oh Florida
justice system, will you bring this man to justice?!).
He's been in and out of rehab.
He's had at least three failed marriages.
He's a racist (the Donovan McNabb flap was the most benign of his
race-baiting; he regularly refers to black people on his radio show as
having "bones in their noses"), a misogynist (he hates intelligent
liberal women) and an adolescent giggle boy.
Recently, he said this about Al Gore:
"When does he start up this stupid little network? August? Yip yip yip
yahoo. You know what Gore said about this? ... It's going to reflect
the view of young people. What the hell is that, Al? Blow jobs, that's
what they're doing out there. They're out there getting oral sex all
day long ... that's the point of view they can't wait that your boss,
Al made sure that's become the number one sport in high school today.
I guess you're going to have a BJ network out there, Al, is that what
you're going to do? You're going to call your network the Oral Sex
Channel out there?"
Even after insane gaffes like this, Limbaugh's enablers will say that
he's just an entertainer, that he isn't to be taken seriously.
But, he is not.
Entertaining.
He is a willing tool of the Right Wing Propaganda Machine and was
singled out by ***** Cheney during 2004 campaign as the Veep's favorite
news source.
Or, take Bill O'Reilly.
He has lied about his politics (claiming he's registered "independent"
when he's a longtime Republican) and about awards (claiming two
Peabody Awards he never earned).
Thanks to the testimony from his recent sex assault case, we've
learned he's a predator, masturbator and adulterer, and his wife is,
understandably, a regular user of an electrified *****.
The victim of O'Reilly's unwanted advances just purchased a Manhattan
condo with the the money he paid her to drop the case (one that was a
slam dunk victory for her).
And yet, the O'Reilly Factor soldiers on, a cottage industry of
windbaggery unrivaled by all save the fatuous Sean Hannity.
Then there's Robert Novak.
He revealed the name of an undercover CIA agent, whose "outing" may
have led to the deaths of "assets" worldwide who'd helped her keep
tabs on weapons of mass destruction in the hands of terrorists.
Novak's treasonous revelation compromised national security, yours and
mine.
Yet he's still a regular on the TV, syndicated columnist, favored
pundit of the White House, fun-loving criminal.
Or Rudy Giuliani.
Will this guy EVER stop exploiting 911?
Even before 911, St. Rudy was an adulterer who humiliated his wife and
kids by bringing girlfriends to their home.
He's now a money-mad celebrity, pulling down $100,000 per appearance.
In February, he Hoovered $80,000 from a South Carolina tsunami
benefit.
The sponsor said they weren't "sure whether the benefit's total take
had exceeded Mr. Giuliani's fee."
In other words, no money went to the tsunami victims, but as long as
Rudy G. got his payday, who bloody cares?
Or William Bennett.
A proven gambling addict is still a respected churchman and arbiter of
values for the rest of us.
Or Bernard Kerik ... 'nuff said.
Where are the pathological liars, the pathological criminals, the
stalkers and defamers and dirtbags on the left?
Al Franken?
Michael Moore?
Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandan?
All happily married, monogamous, no drugs, no whores, no sleazy deals,
no libel suits, no grand jury appearances.
Likewise, I've been happily married to the same woman for years; we
have a normal, well-adjusted son.
I don't smoke, drink, *****.
I don't even swear that much any more.
The worst any wrong-winger has ever dredged up about me is that I
co-wrote a book called Rhino's Psychedelic Trip and thus, in his view,
I'm a "1960s radical."
(Never mind that I was too young in the 1960s to do anything but read
comics).
So, I ask you: What am I doing wrong? Er, right?
____________________________________________________________
Delightful, Mr. Bisbort, thank you.
Harry
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