From The Washington Post, 7/27/03:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A43370-2003Jul24.html
In the Kitchen With W.
By David Martin
Sunday, July 27, 2003; Page B02
Bill Clinton has enlisted the services of dozens of friends to produce
a celebrity cookbook to raise money for his presidential library.
Not to be outdone, President Bush is planning his own celebrity
cookbook complete with these favorite recipes:
Treasury Secretary John Snow's Upside-Down Cake:
Start with one healthy economy with a projected budgetary surplus of
$300 billion. Add $1 trillion in tax cuts over 10 years and several
ongoing wars and bake for 21/2 years. Remove cake from hot oven, turn
upside down and voilà, you've got a $450 billion deficit. Repeat for
the next three years for a decadent confection.
George Tenet's Yellowcake Surprise:
Take one suspect French uranium report from Niger. Sift it carefully
through British intelligence and then let simmer in the CIA for
several months. Goes great with other cooked intelligence!
Arnie Schwarzenegger's California Beefcake:
Add one well-aged, right-wing Hollywood action star to an incipient
California governor recall campaign. Mix in one Kennedy spouse and
100-percent name recognition and you've got Governor Total Recall.
John Ashcroft's Constitutional Purée:
Start with separated church and state. Mix with an assortment of
diluted civil liberties. Add your choice of faith-based initiatives
and simmer surreptitiously until church and state are well blended.
Colin Powell's Misgiving Turkey:
Perfect for those unsure how to handle a big fowl. Grease the bird
thoroughly and stuff with whatever reports are handy. Cook along with
your own reputation. Reluctantly serves an entire Cabinet.
Tony Blair's Poodle on a Stick:
Here's a classic American snack with a decidedly English twist.
Combine one unquestioning British lap dog and a hot dog U.S.
president. Popular at Washington circuses, such as joint sessions of
Congress.
Condi's Wild Rice:
Take a cup of conventional rice, stir with secret ingredients,
something different for every occasion. While cooking, try to keep the
lid on to prevent from boiling over. Although it's not to everyone's
taste, the boss will surely appreciate your efforts.
Paul Wolfowitz's Bombe:
(A dessert not for the faint of heart.) Start with the classic bombe
recipe. Mix in an imperial, interventionist philosophy and half bake
with a handful of neo-conservative nostrums. Very rich, but has a
tendency to fall apart when tested.
***** Cheney's Roast Crow:
Combine one crow and a sprinkling of missing weapons of mass
destruction. (Not a dish to most people's liking; those forced to eat
it will usually only do so when grilled.) Serve with a red wine made
from vintage Democratic sour grapes.
And finally, the president's own Texas-Style Barbecued Goose:
Combine generous dollops of suspect intelligence with a unilateral,
nation-building worldview to justify an ongoing state of war. Mix in
tax-cut giveaways and record-breaking deficits and your goose could be
cooked by Nov. 2, 2004. Serve with a Crawford whine of your choice.
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Eat them at your own risk. Some already have and are now raving
lunatics with severe indigestion.
Harry
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