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Colbert Lampoons Bush at White House Correspondents Dinner-- President
Not Amused?

By E&P Staff

April 29, 2006

WASHINGTON

A blistering comedy "tribute" to President Bush by Comedy Centralâs
faux talk show host Stephen Colbert at the White House Correspondent
Dinner Saturday night left George and Laura Bush unsmiling at its
close.

Earlier, the president had delivered his talk to the 2700 attendees,
including many celebrities and top officials, with the help of a Bush
impersonator.

Colbert, who spoke in the guise of his talk show character, who
ostensibly supports the president strongly, urged the Bush to ignore
his low approval ratings, saying they were based on reality, "and
reality has a well-known liberal bias."

He attacked those in the press who claim that the shake-up at the
White House was merely re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.
"This administration is soaring, not sinking," he said.

"If anything, they are re-arranging the deck chairs on the
Hindenburg."

Colbert told Bush he could end the problem of protests by retired
generals by refusing to let them retire.

He compared Bush to Rocky Balboa in the "Rocky" movies, always getting
punched in the face--"and Apollo Creed is everything else in the
world."

Turning to the war, he declared, "I believe that the government that
governs best is a government that governs least, and by these
standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."

He noted former Ambassador Joseph Wilson in the crowd, just three
tables away from Karl Rove, and that he had brought " Valerie Plame."

Then, worried that he had named her, he corrected himself, as Bush
aides might do, "Uh, I mean... he brought Joseph Wilson's wife."

He might have "dodged the bullet," he said, as prosecutor Patrick
Fitzgerald wasn't there.

Colbert also made biting cracks about missing WMDs, "photo ops" on
aircraft carriers and at hurricane disasters, melting glaciers and
Vice President Cheney shooting people in the face.

He advised the crowd, "if anybody needs anything at their tables,
speak slowly and clearly on into your table numbers and somebody from
the N.S.A. will be right over with a cocktail. "

Observing that Bush sticks to his principles, he said, "When the
president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on
Wednesday - no matter what happened Tuesday."

Also lampooning the press, Colbert complained that he was "surrounded
by the liberal media who are destroying this country, except for Fox
News. Fox believes in presenting both sides of the story -- the
presidentâs side and the vice presidentâs side."

He also reflected on the alleged good old days, when the media was
still swallowing the WMD story.

Addressing the reporters, he said, "Let's review the rules. Here's how
it works. The president makes decisions, heâs the decider. The press
secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type
those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Put them through a spell
check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your
wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know,
the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to
stand up to the administration. You know--fiction."

He claimed that the Secret Service name for Bush's new press secretary
is "Snow Job."

Colbert closed his routine with a video fantasy where he gets to be
White House Press Secretary, complete with a special "Gannon" button
on his podium.

By the end, he had to run from Helen Thomas and her questions about
why the U.S. really invaded Iraq and killed all those people.

As Colbert walked from the podium, when it was over, the president and
First Lady gave him quick nods, unsmiling, and handshakes, and left
immediately.

Those seated near Bush told E&P's Joe Strupp, who was elsewhere in the
room, that Bush quickly turned from an amused guest to an obviously
offended target as Colbertâs comments brought up his low approval
ratings and problems in Iraq.

Several veterans of past dinners, who requested anonymity, said the
presentation was more directed at attacking the president than in the
past.

Several said previous hosts, like Jay Leno, equally slammed both the
White House and the press corps.

"This was anti-Bush," said one attendee.

"Usually they go back and forth between us and him."

Another noted that Bush quickly turned unhappy, and left the dais
shortly after while most seated near him, including Colbert and Snow,
glad-handed the crowd.

"You could see he stopped smiling about halfway through Colbert," he
reported.

After the gathering, Snow, while nursing a Heineken outside the
Chicago Tribune reception, declined to comment on Colbert.

"Iâm not doing entertainment reviews," he said.

"I thought the president was great, though."

Strupp, in the crowd during the Colbert routine, had observed that
quite a few sitting near him looked a little uncomfortable at times,
perhaps feeling the material was a little too biting--or too much
speaking "truthiness" to power.

Asked by E&P after it was over if he thought he'd been too harsh,
Colbert said, "Not at all."

Was he trying to make a point politically or just get laughs?

"Just for laughs," he said.

He said he did not pull any material for being too strong, just for
time reasons.

(He later said the president told him "good job" when he walked off.)

Helen Thomas told Strupp her segment with Colbert was "just for fun."

In its report on the affair, USA Today asserted that some in the crowd
cracked up over Colbert but others were "bewildered."

Wolf Blitzer of CNN said he thought Colbert was funny and "a little on
the edge."

Earlier, the president had addrssed the crowd with a Bush impersonator
alongside, with the faux-Bush speaking precisely and the real Bush
deliberately mispronouncing words, such as the inevitable "nuclear."

__________________________________________________________

It Queen Laura and Li'l King Georgie and their apologists can't take
the heat they oughta get out of the kitchen.

Harry