| Topic: |
Politics > Politics-USA |
| User: |
"Captain Compassion" |
| Date: |
24 Apr 2005 10:05:26 PM |
| Object: |
'My lesbian marriage was snatched away' |
'My lesbian marriage was snatched away'
By Matthew Davis
BBC News, Washington
As arguments rage over the issue of gay marriage, BBC News talks to
people caught up in one of the United States' most divisive social
battles.
Mary Li (right) says same-sex marriage is the civil rights issue of
her time
Mary Li and Rebecca Kennedy were the first lesbian couple to get
married in Oregon, in March 2004, but a shadow hung over them even as
they exchanged vows.
Earlier this month - "after a year of living like a normal family" -
the state's Supreme Court annulled their union and more than 3,000
others, in a case that sent a signal across the US.
The couple know they are on the front line of a political struggle,
but it has not stopped them feeling the powerful emotional impact of
the decision.
"I felt that as a lesbian I was never going to have the white dress,
the walk up the aisle," said Li. "So when the chance came I seized it
with both hands.
"But there is a great sadness that the day has been taken away."
Same-sex marriage is the most important civil rights issue of our time
Two weeks before their wedding at a luxury hotel in Portland, the
couple had been tipped off that their local county was about to start
marrying gays and lesbians.
The move came hot on the heels of similar weddings in San Francisco,
later halted by the state of California.
Sworn to secrecy, Li and Kennedy could not even tell their families in
case the news leaked to opponents.
"We knew there were politics attached to it, but we certainly got
married as a reflection of our love for each other," said Li.
Critics on the right fear traditional marriage is threatened
"Becky and I had already been engaged for two years, and when people
ask me when I decided to marry - I say I had been waiting all my
life."
"We were both emotionally preparing for the worst, but hoping for the
best."
When the day came they found their wedding besieged by reporters, but
the ceremony - led by former Supreme Court Justice Betty Roberts - was
able to proceed.
Their joy was inevitably short-lived, Li said.
A coalition of groups challenged the decision and on 14 April 2005 the
state Supreme Court nullified nearly 3,000 marriages, saying a county
could not go against state matrimonial law.
Fight goes on
Gay and lesbian rights groups are fighting similar battles across the
US.
But polling suggests that while many Americans are open to civil
rights for gay couples, they still reserve "marriage" for male-female
relationships.
Same-sex couples can legally marry in Massachusetts, but 37 other
states and the federal government have approved laws or amendments
barring the recognition of gay marriage.
President George W Bush has voiced support for a constitutional
amendment outlawing same-sex marriage, and referred to the need to
protect the institution of marriage in his State of the Union speech.
But for couples like Mary and Becky, the fight goes on.
Li said: "I am a mixed race person - and my parents married before the
courts across America had struck down all the remaining barriers to
mixed race couples. Today, no-one would deny mixed race couples the
right to marry.
"Same sex marriage is the civil rights issue of our time.
"It is like a patchwork of permissiveness and opposition - at some
point you reach a critical mass."
--
"Looking at every bump and wiggle of the record is a waste of time -
it's like trying to figure out the probability of a pair of dice
by looking at the individual rolls. You've got to look at averages.
So, I don't set very much store in looking at the direct evidence."
-- Stephen Schneider
"America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy." -- John Updike
"Why would I listen to losers?" -- Arnold Schwarzenegger
"Long term commitment in relationships is only necessary because it takes
so damn long to raise children. Marriage may well be some kind of trick
to keep the males around beyond sexual satiation." -- Captain Compassion
"Progress is the increasing control of the environment by life.
--Will Durant
Joseph R. Darancette
res0mp8t@NOSPAMverizon.net
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