From The Palm Beach Post, 8/7/04:
http://www.palmbeachpost.com/opinion/content/opinion/epaper/2004/08/07/m11a_mcevoy_0807.html
Fallback job for W., and, no, I don't jest
By George McEvoy
Saturday, August 07, 2004
If George W. Bush should lose the presidential election and have to
find a new job come January, I've got the perfect spot for him.
Great Britain needs a court jester.
English Heritage, which is the guardian of various historic sites in
the tight little isle, ran an ad in Thursday's London Times, calling
for applicants to be the kingdom's court jester.
The last official jester fled for his life in 1649 after Oliver
Cromwell, a man seriously lacking in sense of humor, had King Charles
I executed.
The jester position has been vacant ever since.
I immediately thought of George W. when I saw the required
qualifications for the job, which read as follows:
"Must be mirthful and prepared to work summer weekends in 2005. Must
have own outfit, with bells."
I can't say I find George W. mirthful, actually, but he always has
this sort of half-smile -- or smirk -- on his face, and nobody else
seems to know exactly what he finds so amusing.
As for the hours, working only on summer weekends would suit him fine.
He takes so many vacations now, it hardly would be a change.
I don't know whether the president has any bells, but he certainly
possesses outfits aplenty.
Who can forget that hilarious moment when, clad in a flight suit, he
strutted across the deck of an aircraft carrier, in front of a huge
banner reading "Mission Accomplished."
Now, that was real first-class jestering.
And it took a lot of nerve for a guy who may have gone AWOL from the
Texas Air National Guard for almost a year during the Vietnam War.
I know it gave me a good laugh.
All the great jesters of centuries past had to do a few magic tricks,
juggle and use smoke and mirrors to distort reality.
George W. has mastered all those skills.
Perhaps his greatest magical illusion was the way he took a hefty
surplus, made it disappear right before our eyes, and replaced it with
a horrendous deficit.
Even Houdini would have been proud of that one.
As for juggling, just listen to George W. on the campaign trail, using
doublespeak to convince a crowd that despite the deficit and pockets
of high unemployment, we are better off since he moved into the White
House.
The smoke and mirrors come in when the war in Iraq is the subject.
Although the people who attacked us almost all were from Saudi Arabia,
we went to war against Iraq.
Following that logic, if Mike Tyson ever hits you, go beat up Woody
Allen.
George W. also is good at doing impersonations, a handy talent for any
jester.
I especially enjoy the way he can pose as a friend of the environment,
while at the same time he wants to cut down centuries-old trees and
allow oil drilling in pristine parts of Alaska.
The London Times ad did not say anything about whether the new jester
would have to be a British subject.
If so, George W. could have Tony Blair make him an honorary citizen.
In return, Tony could be George W.'s second banana, which some folks
in England say he is already.
There is one catch.
The auditions for the jester position are being held today at
Stoneleigh Park, in Warwickshire, England. George W. meanwhile, is out
campaigning in the United States.
But perhaps the British would make an exception and allow the
president to audition later.
As I said, if he loses the election to John Kerry, he'll need a new
job.
And studying his achievements -- or lack of same-- in the oil
business, court jestering seems like something he might be able to
handle.
_______________________________________________________
Come to think of it, the kid's really funny. And he doesn't even mean
to be. "That's* talent!
Harry
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