Recently, George Bush's debate notes came into the possession of one
of the members of the media. Behold! And wonder...for the first time
ever, here is an exclusive look into the mind of a genius.
___________________________________________
10.12.04 - "All right, this one will be different. This time we're
going
offensive. And don't forget, no scowling. Remember what Karl said:
'When you
want to scowl, pretend to take notes.' So here I go, taking notes.
Note to
self: 'this guy makes me want to scowl.' He does. All the time. Look
at him.
Walking around all erect and stuff. I jes' can't help it. I get what
Laura
calls my mean monkey mouth on. Maybe I'll pretend to take notes and
just
draw a picture of Flip Flop Boy with one of the legs of this stool
through
his freakin' head. Although, I could never penetrate that hair helmet
of
his.
Okay, okay, okay, more notes. Notes. Notes. Notes. Oh for crum's sake,
this
has got to look stupid. No normal human takes this many notes. Here,
I'll
just look at him with absolutely no expression on my face. Now, I'll
cross
my eyes. Look at me. Look at me! Damn you smarty pants. He's still not
looking at me. Like I'm not good enough for him. Can't believe you're
losing
to me, can you surfing dude? Chewing my lip isn't scowling is it?
Oops, don't look at the camera; keep watching him. I'm watching you
Brainiac. Yeah, you. He walks like he's got a bumpy stick up his butt.
Ooops, I just said internets. That's right, isn't it? Yeah, everybody
talks
about being on the internet these days; there's got to be more than
one.
Rats, did I call him Senator Kennedy? Wait, no, that's good. I'll
pretend I
meant to do it. Kennedy-Kerry. Can't tell the difference, get it?
Timber? The hell is he talking about? 'Anybody want some wood?' That
should
have gone over better. Isn't my time up yet? Mean monkey mouth go
away. More
notes. Karl is right, this is hard work. Oops, can't say 'hard work'
or
'working hard' anymore either. Supreme Court? Should I do another wood
joke
here? No, wait, I know: 'don't want to mention any names, because I
want
them all voting for me.' Of course, last time it only took five of the
nine
to do the trick. Heh heh heh.
NOW what the hell is he talking about? Orwell? Or well what? There he
goes
flip flopping again. Ooh, I got a good one. 'You can run but you can't
hide.' Yeah, that was a hit. Wait, isn't that the same line I used on
Osama
bin Laden? There's a guy who can hide.
Hey, wait a minute, he can't use Nancy Reagan. All the Reagans are
ours.
Except that fruity kid. Getting near the end here. Got to keep it
straight.
No scowl. Who slipped that mistake question in there? Nope, never made
any
mistakes. Except for agreeing to do this. Aren't we done yet? I feel a
scowl
coming on. Okay, that's it. We're out of here. Oh good, ***** talked to
me
this time. I must have done better. Boy, I sure could use a beer right
about
now."
(c) 2004 WorkingForChange. All Rights Reserved
.
|
