| Topic: |
Politics > Politics-USA |
| User: |
"" |
| Date: |
04 Sep 2007 05:44:26 AM |
| Object: |
Re: Late-Night Jokes about Sen. Larry Craig's Bathroom Sex Scandal |
On Aug 31, 12:06 pm, John Manning <jrobe...@terra.com.br> wrote:
"How about that poor Senator Craig from Idaho? ... So he gets arrested
in a men's room there at the airport in Minneapolis. And here's the deal
now. He's now in Stage One of a politicalsexscandal: defiance. Stage
Two: stepping down to spend more time with his family. Stage Three: 'I'm
gay and I'm proud!'" --David Letterman
"Don't kid yourself, this Craig is in a tough spot. When you're up for
re-election, you don't want to be known as 'The Restroom Don Juan.'"
--David Letterman
"The guy was arrested for lewd behavior in the men's room, and I'm
thinking, 'Well, hell. I'm lucky if I can get a hand dryer to blow'"
--David Letterman
"Senator Larry Craig declared he won't quit and he's not gay. And then
Craig said 'I'm sorry. I meant to say I won't quit being gay.'" --Conan
O'Brien
"Now there's more trouble for Senator Craig. First he's accused of
soliciting gaysexat an airport. Now he's accused of soliciting gaysex
at a train station. Craig denied the charges and said if you'll excuse
me, I have to get ready for a big night at the bus terminal." --Conan
O'Brien
"Idaho Senator Larry Craig is now being called the hole from Idaho."
--Jay Leno
"A lot of people are calling Senator Craig a hypocrite because he was a
very vocal opponent of same-sexmarriages. ... But to be fair, he has
never come out publicly against anonymous gay bathroomsex." --Jay Leno
"This whole thing has to be very frustrating for the Republican Party.
All these gaysexscandals and they still can't get any support from
Hollywood." --Jay Leno
"Because of thescandalhe had to resign his position on the Mitt Romney
campaign. ... So not much chance of getting his mitts on Romney now."
--Jay Leno
"Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, a married, very anti-guy conservative
Republican, was arrested by a plainclothes police officer for lewd
conduct in a Minneapolis airport men's room. Today the senator's office
said it was all a big misunderstanding. Apparently what happened was
when the senator went in to use the restroom, he accidentally grabbed
the wrong penis." --Jay Leno
"Larry Craig, the conservative senator and hardcore heterosexual from
Idaho, insists that he is not gay. In fact, he's anti-gay marriage and
anti-gays in the military. He's anti-gay everything butsex." --Jimmy Kimmel
"There's a very simple explanation for all of this. Larry Craig is gayer
than a barrel of Andy Dicks." --Jimmy Kimmel
"The undercover police officer said the senator tried to reach under
"the stall to touch him, but the senator said, no, he wasn't trying to
touch him, he was only trying to pick up a piece of paper off the floor.
Who picks up paper off the floor in the men's room? I don't even like
when my shoe laces touch the floor in the men's room." --Jay Leno
"You know who I feel sorry for in this whole thing? The undercover cop.
How'd you like to have that job. Sit in an airport bathroom all day,
your pants around your ankles with a coffee and a donut waiting for guys
to hit on you." --Jay Leno
"Sen. Craig is married. Apparently he told his wife, don't worry about
having dinner ready to me. I'm going to wolf down a hot dog at the
airport." --Jay Leno
"The Democrats may have control of the House, but the Republicans have
control of the bathrooms." --Jay Leno
"Sen. Craig gave a press conference today where he said, I'm not gay,
I've never been way. Then he apologized to his wife, Liza Minelli."
--Jay Leno
"There's anotherscandalin Washington. One of the senator's from Idaho,
Larry Craig, was arrested in airport men's room. Gives new meaning to
the word caucusing.'" --David Letterman
"Sen. Craig said he made a mistake by pleading guilty. And I was
thinking, maybe that was your second mistake." --David Letterman
"The way I look at it, anyone who spends more than two minutes in an
airport men's room is guilty of something." --David Letterman My idea of
getting lucky in the men's room is when the motion censor works on the
faucet" --David Letterman
"Larry Craig has pled guilty to lewd guilty in a men's room. .The
senator said I wanted to reach out to all my constituents and their
penises." --Conan O'Brien
"All of Boise, Idaho, is a buzz with the story of Larry Craig. ... The
police report says he tapped his foot, which means 'I want gaysex.'
And, also means I'll never wear my iPod to the bathroom again." --Jimmy
Kimmel, on Larry Craig's bathroom incident
"Needless to say, Senator Craig is also anti-gay marriage and gays in
the military, which I think, shows he doesn't let his personal needs
interfere with his work." --Jimmy Kimmel
http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/sexandpolitics/a/larrycraigjokes.htm
THE Don Call Family SEX SCANDAL OF Taylor, AZ ((Why local Mormon
leaders covered it up....BY THEIR FRUITS YE SHALL KNOW THEM!!!!))
The problem is bad all over the Church. I won't be a Mormon because of
the hypocrisy. Sex is such a huge problem for Mormons that when girls
especially get away from their very protective fathers they finally
get to explore and experiment.
They learn sad lessons on their own which causes mental disorders.
Mental illness is a huge issue for Mormon Women. LDS women and in
particular Utah and Arizona women lead the nation in mental illness
and consumption of anti-depressants.
Mormon parents teach their children how to say no, but never how to
say yes. Consequently, they either go into marriage still saying no,
which creates huge problems, or they cheat on their spouse and are
promiscuous. Mormon women also tend to have the belief that they can
let themselves go and their men will HAVE to be faithful or they will
be given another dreamboat to replace their traying spouse. So, you
get these women who pound out a bunch of babies, their uteri are
hanging out their vaginas, they are grossly overweight, no muscle tone
and wonder why their spouse strays. Their bishops consoles them by
telling them their husbands will be punished and that all will be
better. Well it never is. It is the patriarchal lie Mormons tell
women.
Younger Mormon women get it a little better and are starting to take
care of themselves but end up being Stepford-esque and highly
promiscuous. HORNY! and there are lots of wife swapping. Mormons who
adapt have sex parties. Men throw their car keys in a dish. The women
grab a set of keys and go home with the husband who belongs to the
car. This behavior is starting to create some mental disorders as
these women start turning 35 and their husbands want the 20 somethings
again.
I heard of one highly dysfunctional family involving all types of
abuse all stemming from the parents abandonment. Don & Laree Call of
Taylor, AZ followed their church leaders revelations and business
deals and bought a farm in Missouri. (The revelation is that is where
the chosen 144,000 high priests would be called together for a secret
convocation and they want to already have land there. Maybe they could
sell parking space on their land or have a jello salad concession.)
In the process of getting their farm off the ground they would leave
their children alone for several weeks at a time; come home and check
on them for a couple of days and then return. During this same
timeframe, the Calls had foster children and were getting money from
the state to take care of them but they were really left on their own
to be abused by the children. The children were cruel to them, who hit
them and involved them in sexual activity. One of the sons, Dale, was
very sexually active and the Call property became known as the place
to hang out to have a good time sexually. Dale became invoved
sexually with his sister, Laurie Call and in turn he brought his high
school friends home to try his sister out, too. On one occasion, they
playfully dragged her to the shed by the beaver pens and Laurie seemed
to object fearfully at first, but later became addicted to the
activity. She talked to her friends about fantasizing about being
manhandled by a bunch of boys at the same time thereafter. It was
clear that she referred to sexual activity. She became known as the
***** tease at school. They would dare her to do things; let boys feel
her up behind the curtains on the stage, french kiss the new kids, or
upper classmen, or the entire football team, even other girls. She
would do anything other kids asked and she liked it. Even her
chiropractor knew of her reputation and got to third base with her.
Her mother encouraged it because she got discounts from it.
No one investigated. No one reported it. She just had to put on the
appearance of being a virgin at church.
After graduation, she got a boyfriend, John, and her own apartment.
John essentially lived with her, sneaking in each night so they could
have sex. Laurie did not want to deal with the guilt of actually
consenting to the sex and the rape fantasy was very real for her. The
way she dealt with it was to insist that John hold a loaded gun to her
head while they had sex. That way she could rationalize the act for
herself and when she eventually told her pastor aboutit, she could cry
and pretend like it was horrible.
After three failed marriages, none of which was she faithful, she
considers herself happy because she can still find someone to screw
her. (She is a very pretty woman, although she is in her later 40s.
She has had help of plastic surgeons to help her strip away the
twinkie fat because exercise is too difficult.) She has screwed for
lawyers fees (dated an attorney named Daniel Miller of Phoenix) while
also sleeping with two other men. The other Mormon women in her
neighborhood are envious of all the attention she gets and stay close
to her so they might get some of her collateral action.
I don't know personally about her mental health but allegedly she has
several mental disorders including the favorite of Mormon women
lately, bipolar disorder. I think it comes from being depressed but
being forced to put on the happy face.
Yes, Mormons have not figured out how to handle sex yet. They are our
Latter-Day Puritans.
.
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| User: "David Bowie" |
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| Title: Re: Late-Night Jokes about Sen. Larry Craig's Bathroom Sex Scandal |
04 Sep 2007 06:41:11 AM |
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wrote:
<snip>
Yes, Mormons have not figured out how to handle sex yet. They are our
Latter-Day Puritans.
Duwayne Anderson got a new email address?
(Followups trimmed.)
David, thinking it could also be JLK returned from the missing
--
David Bowie University of Central Florida
Jeanne's Two Laws of Chocolate: If there is no chocolate in the
house, there is too little; some must be purchased. If there is
chocolate in the house, there is too much; it must be consumed.
.
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