From The Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 8/31/07:
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/parvaz/329915_parvaz01.html
Republicans dig deep into the excuse vault
By D. PARVAZ
P-I COLUMNIST
Some are afraid of black men.
Some plead guilty because they can't take the pressure an innocent
plea would bring.
Others just felt compelled to forgo treatment by a trained massage
therapist, favoring the tender massage only a prostitute could
deliver.
Welcome to the excuse vault of the scandalized Republican politician.
Of course, philandering Democrats have excuses, too, but they tend to
hinge on the common (a drinking problem as in the case of San
Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom) or the peculiarly semantic (President
Clinton positing, "It all depends on what the meaning of the word 'is'
is")
But not the morally upright Republicans, for whom allegations of gay
sex are much worse than heterosexual indiscretions.
Despite pleading guilty to charges of disorderly conduct (after asking
an undercover cop for sex in a Minneapolis airport bathroom through an
elaborate ritual of toe taps and hand motions. Oh, and repeatedly
peering into the officer's stall), Republican Idaho Sen. Larry Craig
says he's not gay.
Sure, just refer to the "Boys of Boise" -- the title of a 1965 book on
the state's homosexual, hypocritical political underground.
Craig maintains that the guilty plea was a "mistake."
He was under pressure.
He was being "hounded" by the press.
You know how it is.
Okay, you might not, but there's a bunch of Republicans who do.
Forget about all the other scandals -- Scooter Libby's indictment, or
the coke-dealing Thomas Ravenel, the South Carolina chairman for Rudy
Giuliani's presidential campaign.
Focusing on the sex scandals alone offers plenty of fodder.
Let's see...
In July, Florida State Rep. Bob Allen was busted propositioning an
undercover male cop in a park bathroom.
He offered the officer $20 for oral sex.
But Allen also says he's not guilty and that that he's not gay.
No, he's not denying that he propositioned the cop, and he's not
saying that he was misunderstood when he made the offer.
He says he did it because he was afraid the black cop would hurt him.
"This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other
black guys around in the park," Allen said, in describing the officer
who approached him.
Allen, who was also the co-chairman of Sen. John McCain's campaign,
said that he went along with it because he feared that if he didn't
offer to perform oral sex on the stranger, he "was about to be a
statistic."
Well, that's the normal response any of us would have when we find
ourselves (irrationally) intimidated by a stranger, right?
Either that, or (to paraphrase Jerri Blank from "Strangers with
Candy"), "I guess what I'm trying to say is Bob, you're a racist."
Last year, Florida Rep. Mark Foley quit the House after it was
discovered that he had sent naughty e-mails to pages.
Male and underage, natch.
Some guys, like Louisiana's Sen. David Vitter, go pro.
They don't dilly-dally in men's bathrooms.
The married man's digits were found on the D.C. Madam's client list.
Vitter, incidentally, filled the seat emptied by Louisiana Rep. Bob
Livingston, who stepped down in 1999 after Hustler publisher Larry
Flynt found evidence of Livingston's "indiscretions" and threatened to
go public with them.
Just prior to that, Livingston was to succeed Newt Gingrich as House
speaker, and in March we learned that Gingrich was having an
extramarital affair while he was hammering President Clinton over his
affair with intern Monica Lewinsky.
Back to the D.C. Madam, aka Deborah Jeane Palfrey.
She's been charged with running a prostitution ring, which also
boasted Deputy Secretary of State Randall L. Tobias, as a client.
Taking a page out of the Ted Haggard playbook (the evangelical
preacher initially claimed that he repeatedly hired a gay prostitute
for massages and not sex), Tobias said he didn't use the escort
service for sex but, "to have gals come over to the condo to give me a
massage."
He stepped down in April for "personal reasons" having nothing to do
with the massages he claims he's now getting through a service "with
Central Americans."
Dude.
You couldn't make this stuff up if you tried.
_________________________________________________
Harry
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