| Topic: |
Politics > Politics-USA |
| User: |
"Harry Hope" |
| Date: |
24 Mar 2006 01:56:34 PM |
| Object: |
Ten Telltale Signs of GOP Disease. |
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bob-burnett/ten-telltale-signs-of-gop_b_17811.html
Ten Telltale Signs of GOP Disease
By Bob Burnett
You've probably seen the posters or read the pamphlets that warn of
the telltale signs of sexually transmitted diseases.
You know, lovely symptoms like inflamed genitals.
There should be similar warnings about another epidemic threatening
America--dreadful GOP disease.
As a public service, here are the ten telltale signs of Republican
plague:
1. You keep lying, even when it's apparent to everyone that you're
lying:
Insist that the situation in Iraq is not a civil war;
Bush tax cuts are good for the economy;
Republicans are fostering Democracy.
Repeat things that are not only untrue, but are absurd: George W. Bush
cares about civil rights.
You can't stop;
you're sick;
you're a Republican.
2. No matter how bad things get, assert that President Bush is doing a
great job.
Even when there are obvious screw-ups--the reaction to 9/11, the
occupation of Iraq, and the response to Katrina--block all meaningful
investigations, no matter how impartial.
Steadfastly maintain that Dubya knows what he's doing, even when it's
apparent to most of the public that he not only doesn't have a plan to
fix the problem, he doesn't get that there is a problem.
You're inflexible;
you're stuck;
you're a Republican.
3. Keep repeating that the situation in Iraq is getting better.
Say that you see the light at the end of the tunnel, even if there's
no light and it's a bottomless pit.
Tell Americans that Iraqis want us there and our troops believe in
their mission, even when polls say that Iraqis ask us to leave and our
troops want to come home.
Insist that the press isn't reporting the good news, even when the
only positive stories are those planted by your toadies.
You're strident;
you're in denial;
you're a Republican.
4. Don't accept any criticism, no matter how non-partisan or well
intended.
Call your critics ignorant, devious, unwitting pawns of sinister
forces.
Suggest that anyone who criticizes George Bush, ***** Cheney, or Don
Rumsfeld is unpatriotic;
that they are aiding and abetting Al Qaeda.
You're relentless;
you're a fear-monger;
you're a Republican.
5. Stay on offense.
No matter what happens, keep pushing your agenda.
Remember Karl Rove's second commandment:
When in doubt, attack.
If one of your tactics is blocked, such as private social security
accounts, immediately go to the next, reduction of entitlements.
Never let your enemies see you sweat.
Never forget that you owe your supporters, big.
You're aggressive;
you're ruthless;
you're a Republican.
6. Insist that you are pro-women and pro-family.
As "proof," periodically take the time to parade all the "babes" in
the Bush Administration, Condoleezza Rice and Harriet Miers.
Then take action on every level to ensure that women remain
second-class citizens and that American families get the shaft.
Insist that the state rather than a woman and her family should make
private medical decisions.
You're macho;
you're sexist;
you're a Republican,
7. Tell everyone that you're the Party of peace, the Party that wants
to spread democracy throughout the world.
Then create the largest peacetime standing army in US history.
Make sure that America spends more on defense than the entire rest of
the world.
Relentlessly feed the military-industrial complex.
Prowl through the world planting US bases, supporting autocrats, and
protecting the interests of multi-national corporations.
Preach peace and democracy; practice war and plutocracy.
You're predatory;
you're imperialist;
you're a Republican.
8. Maintain the economy is going great.
No matter how bad things get, how large the national debt, or how huge
the gap between America's haves and have-nots, push for more tax cuts.
Insist that they're a panacea, a modern snake oil that will cure all
ills. Keep promising America that good times are just ahead and the
yellow-brick road is lined with tax cuts.
Talk equality and opportunity;
practice elitism and favoritism.
You're shameless;
you're greedy;
you're a Republican.
9. Manipulate the truth.
Whenever there is bad news, blame it on the press.
Accuse the mass media of distortion;
say they aren't telling the whole story.
Help them out, make up some good news.
Harass reporters at all your press conferences;
punish anyone who asks a tough question.
Support the illusion that Fox News is fair and balanced and that Rush
Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly are impartial commentators.
You're duplicitous;
you're biased;
you're a Republican.
10. Above all, never admit a mistake.
Remember Karl Rove's first commandment:
Never show weakness.
Adopt the motto: only wimps admit mistakes;
when the going gets tough, the tough attack their enemies.
Say the Bush Administration hasn't made mistakes;
it's set lofty goals that take hard, hard work to achieve.
Keep your eyes on the stars, your nose to grindstone and both hands
protecting your *****.
You've no shame;
you've contracted an incurable disease;
you're a Republican.
_________________________________________________
Harry
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| User: "Grendel" |
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| Title: Re: Ten Telltale Signs of GOP Disease. |
24 Mar 2006 02:50:06 PM |
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Harry Hoplessly ignorant inanely ranted:
1. You keep lying, even when it's apparent to everyone that you're
lying:
Just because liberal idiots 'know' someone is lying, doesn't make
it true. You are often mistaken about many things.
Insist that the situation in Iraq is not a civil war;
It's not.
Bush tax cuts are good for the economy;
Seeing as the economy has been improving for quite a while, it would
appear its working. Unemployment is down. Payroll is increasing along
with average hourly income.
Republicans are fostering Democracy.
While Democrats are fostering "sensitivity training to understand how
we insulted terrorists'?
Nineteen telltale signs of LIBERAL Desease:
1. You think that if someone is getting richer, someone, somewhere,
must be getting poorer.
2. You think that protestors outside nuclear power plants are dedicated
activists, but protestors outside abortion clinics are dangerous
zealots interfering with a legal activity.
3. You believe that more federal regulations will make your life
better.
4. You believe that even though the top 20 percent of taxpayers pay 80
percent of income taxes, that the rich are not paying their "fair
share."
5. You think that Rush Limbaugh's listeners are mindless
"dittoheads," but you have never doubted anything that you heard from
Michael Moore.
6. You believe in global warming today just as firmly as you believed
in global cooling back in the 1970s.
7. You believe that there was never, ever a problem with biased news
coverage until Fox News went on the air.
8. You mentally subtract 100 points from someone's IQ if the person
speaks with a Southern accent.
9. You think that Dan Rather got a raw deal.
10. You think that the phrase "separation of church and state" is in
the Constitution.
11. You pride yourself on your global awareness, global sensitivity and
global outlook, but can't name your state legislator or school board
representative.
12. You believe that rich people should not be allowed to contribute so
much money to candidates for office (except for George Soros).
13. You believe that government should make a special effort to hire
members of traditionally oppressed groups, such as African-Americans
(except for Clarence Thomas, Colin Powell and Condoleezza
Rice).
14. You think people in south Florida, who can't figure out how to
work a butterfly ballot, ought to have the final say in choosing the
president of the United States.
15. You have no problem with Hollywood movie stars flying around in
private jets to give speeches on the evils of SUVs.
16. You deplore prejudice and bigotry in all its forms, but think that
everyone in the "red states" is an idiot.
17. You are more concerned, more often, with the rights of convicted
felons than you are with the rights of their victims.
18. You are worried about how the French view Americans.
19. You believe that nativity scenes should be banned from public view,
but that anyone objecting to pornography "only has to look the other
way."
(with apologies to Ed Lynch)
Yol Bolsun,
Grendel.
"Never underestimate the stupidity of liberals"
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