http://www.newyorker.com/shouts/content/articles/051031sh_shouts
THE BUSH QUIZ: THE TWENTIETH HUNDRED DAYS
by PAUL SLANSKY
Issue of 2006-08-07
Posted 2006-07-31
1. Complete George W. Bush’s quote: "I believe that my job is _____."
(a) to protect life. And sometimes people have to die in order to
protect life, see? And that saddens me.
(b) hard. It’s a heckuva hard job. It’s difficult. But I’m doin’ it,
see, and I’m gonna keep on doin’ it, because that’s the job of a
President.
(c) to go out and explain to people what’s on my mind. That’s why I’m
having this press conference, see? I’m telling you what’s on my mind.
And what’s on my mind is winning the war on terror.
(d) to construe the laws I sign in a Presidential way. Because that’s
part of being a leader, see, is construing with your gut.
2. Who is Peter Wallsten?
(a) The partially blind reporter whom George W. Bush mocked ("Are you
going to ask that question with shades on?") for not removing his
sunglasses while addressing the President.
(b) The wheelchair-bound senior citizen whom George W. Bush mocked
("You look mighty comfortable") for not standing in the presence of
the President.
(c) The C.I.A. employee who, after delivering the "Bin Laden
Determined to Strike in U.S." briefing, was told by George W. Bush,
"All right, you’ve covered your ***** now."
(d) The Iraq-war amputee with whom George W. Bush tried to bond by
telling him about a scratch he got during "combat with a cedar" while
clearing brush.
Match the number with what it quantifies.
3. At least 30,000.
4. More than 5,000.
5. Zero.
6. Around 200.
(a) Dollars’ worth of merchandise that the former Bush domestic-policy
adviser Claude Allen was alleged to have stolen from Target and other
stores through a phony refund scam.
(b) Shotgun pellets embedded in the face and upper body of Harry
Whittington by ***** Cheney.
(c) National monuments or icons that Secretary of Homeland Security
Michael Chertoff said there are in New York City.
(d) dollars donated by Barbara Bush to a hurricane relief fund with
the stipulation that the money be spent on software bought from a
company run by her son Neil.
7. Complete George W. Bush’s quote: "Nobody likes _______."
(a) it when the press commits treason.
(b) being lied to.
(c) Osama bin Laden except the Democrats.
(d) beheadings.
8. Three of these quotes were made by George W. Bush. Which one was
made by Donald Rumsfeld?
(a) "Nobody likes war. It creates a sense of—of uncertainty in the
country."
(b) "The plan [in Iraq] is to prevent a civil war, and, to the extent
one were to occur, to have the, from a security standpoint, have the
Iraqi security forces deal with it to the extent they’re able to."
(c) "Sometimes leaders show up who do a great disservice to the
traditions and people of a country."
(d) "There are limits to how much corn can be used for ethanol. After
all, we got to eat some."
Who’s who?
9. John Green.
10. James B. Comey.
11. James E. Hansen.
12. Harry Taylor.
(a) The "Good Morning America" producer who was suspended after
e-mails he sent, including one in which he wrote, "Bush makes me
sick," were leaked.
(b) The NASA official who said, "It seems more like Nazi Germany or
the Soviet Union than the United States," after the Administration
began censoring climate scientists who tried to speak about global
warming.
(c) The Justice Department official who refused to authorize the
National Security Agency’s domestic surveillance program.
(d) The questioner at a Charlotte event who told George W. Bush, "I
would hope, from time to time, that you have the humility and the
grace to be ashamed of yourself."
13. How did ***** Cheney say that the September 11th attacks might have
been prevented?
(a) If George W. Bush’s father had taken out Saddam Hussein in 1991.
(b) If the Bush Administration had been able to eavesdrop on the
hijackers’ phone conversations without court orders.
(c) If the National Security Agency hadn’t waited until September 12th
to translate two messages warning of the attacks which had been
intercepted on September 10th.
(d) If even one of the F.B.I. agent Harry Samit’s more than seventy
warnings that Zacarias Moussaoui was a terrorist had been heeded.
14. Three of these quotes were made by George W. Bush. Which one was
made by ***** Cheney?
(a) "I do want to give you some thoughts about what I’m thinking
about."
(b) "They ought to learn to sing the national anthem in English."
(c) "We have all the legal authority we need."
(d) "When you turn on your TV screen and see innocent people die day
in and day out, it affects the mentality of our country."
15. What pair of men did George W. Bush refer to as an "interesting
cat" and a "dangerous dude"?
(a) The Iraqi Defense Minister and the Al Qaeda leader Abu Musab
al-Zarqawi.
(b) Elvis Presley and "Colonel" Tom Parker, during the guided tour of
Graceland that Bush gave to Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi.
(c) Owen Wilson and Matt Dillon, after a special White House screening
of "You, Me and Dupree."
16. What was George W. Bush talking about when he declared, "I’m the
decider, and I decide what’s best"?
(a) Pushing ahead with the Dubai ports deal despite not having known
about it until it appeared in the media.
(b) Blocking a Justice Department probe of the Administration’s secret
domestic spying operation.
(c) Keeping Donald Rumsfeld as Defense Secretary despite calls by six
retired generals for his firing.
(d) Vetoing a stem-cell-research bill.
17. What did George W. Bush say was "the best moment" during his years
in the White House?
(a) "The first day I sat at my desk in the Oval Office and thought
about all the history that happened there and realized that now it was
my turn."
(b) "When I caught a seven-and-a-half-pound largemouth bass on my
lake."
(c) "When they told me we caught Saddam in his hidey-hole."
18. True or false: When Tim Russert, the host of "Meet the Press,"
said that "there were a lot of misjudgments made" regarding Iraq, his
guest Condoleezza Rice pointed out, "There are also some misjudgments
that were not made."
19. Which of these words were among the top ten responses in a Pew
Research Center poll that asked voters for the first word that came to
mind when they think about George W. Bush?
(a) "Decisive," "charming," "brilliant," and "truthful."
(b) "Booze," "cocaine," "failure," and "smirk."
(c) "Illegitimate," "simian," "hotheaded," and "torture."
(d) "Incompetent," "idiot," "liar," and "*****."
Answers:
(1) c, (2) a, (3) d, (4) a, (5) c, (6) b, (7) d, (8) b, (9) a, (10) c,
(11) b, (12) d, (13) b, (14) c, (15) a, (16) c, (17) b, (18) True,
(19) d
______________________________________________________
Harry
.
|
