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http://www.theonion.com/content/node/47127
Tom DeLay To Pursue Corruption In Private Sector
April 5, 2006 | Issue 42•14
STAFFORD, TX —- Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, who is facing
several ethics violations and felony charges, announced Tuesday that he
will resign from Congress in order to concentrate on corruption in the
private sector. "I can say with a clear lack of conscience that, after
21 years of public disservice, I have done everything I could to the
American people," DeLay said in a televised statement to constituents.
"I have a lot to offer the corporate world, such as money laundering and
influence-peddling." DeLay added that, before assuming his new
irresponsibilities, he looks forward to spending more time alienating
his family and cheating on his wife.
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