"President Bush announced he has a five-point strategy for getting out
of Iraq. Points six through 10 will be handled by the Kerry
administration." -- David Letterman
"President Bush's campaign is now attacking John Kerry for throwing away
some of his medals to protest the Vietnam War. Bush did not have any
medals to throw away, but in his defense he did have all his services
records thrown out." -- Jay Leno
"President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs.
Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers." -- Craig Kilborn
"Is it me or is Bush going everywhere Kerry goes? So far in the past
week, President Bush has followed John Kerry to Davenport, Iowa; New
Mexico; Las Vegas; Los Angeles; and he follows him to Portland, Oregon.
....The only place he never followed John Kerry was Vietnam." -- Jay Leno
"President Bush said that the people who are attacking our forces in
Iraq are getting more and more desperate because we're making so much
progress. So just remember, the worse it gets, the better it is." -- Jay
Leno
"As of yesterday, the Bush administration still hadn't found the source
of the White House leak that outed a woman as a CIA operative. To recap,
here are the things President Bush can't find: The source of the leak,
weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Osama bin Laden, the link between
Saddam and Osama bin Laden, the guy who sent the anthrax through the
mail, and his butt with two hands and a flashlight." -- Tina Fey,
Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"
"The White House now has disputed allegations by members of the House
Intelligence Committee that President Bush went to war with Iraq based
on vague intelligence. Of course he did: EVERYTHING Bush does is based
on vague intelligence." -- Jay Leno
"Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush will ever be impeached, 'cause
unlike Clinton, Reagan, or even his father, George W. is immune from
scandal. Because, if George W. testifies that he had no idea what was
going on, wouldn't you believe him?" --Jay Leno
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