beautiful music
***
wasn't surfers paradise packed last night ?
mega crowd
every one was sayin just how many ppl
were out to play
and umm
mostly well behaved
i checked with my regulars
and violence was low
not too many fights
and when i left at like four am
after like five and bit hours
of cavorting around on the unicycle
and singin and *****
[second pass]
"what was that guy sayin about facepaint ?"
i was listening to the music in the headphones
"maybe next time man"
[second pass]
the place was peaceful
did my bit
tryin to keep em smilin
had a whale of a time
***
cone break
i worked hard enough
***
fuckin legs are sore anyway
***
that feels a bit better
happy birthday Jewel
love your music lady
i'll just put on one of your songs
beautiful music
Jewel
"Serve the ego"
lovely beat
***
served our ego last night wiz
"fuckin oath"
"those fuckin chicks though"
"they want that helmet"
"becomin a problem already"
"this one chick came up"
"whike i was stopped at the light"
"Askin to wear it"
"promisin not to knock it off"
[third pass]
apologies for no photos from last night
i can;t do two jobs at once
i was carryin it
the digital camera
but umm
so many many ppl
askin me to do *****
it just doesn;t get a look in
carryin the wizard hat
which has now got a torch pokin out the front of it
shines down wherever i point my head
wireless webcam would be mad wouldn;t it ?
we''ll probably have to settle
for my video camera
handycam
heavy and i gotta build more muscle to carry it on the head
workin on it ok
then put through a video card
and convert to digital
then upload to the net
in mpegs
it'll happen
just gotta get my budgeting right
and not land another girlfriend
this guy
man
five hours
very time i come out of a club
there y are
goin past
how do ya do it ?
you been goin all night
"couldn;t tell ya it's cause"
"i ain;t got a girlfriend stressin on me"
"to come home"
"and play with her"
"***** morticia was cool"
"five am , shower, she'd wake right up and ***** me stupid"
"waiting is"
"it';ll happen again..."
love ya's HARD
[third pass]
"a few tried it on"
"gourgeous"
"and i do mean gourgeous"
"little dark skinned girl"
"and her companion"
"asked me to stop"
"so they could touch it"
"for good luck"
"did that for em"
"but a drunk came up"
"demanding bunny hops"
[second pass]
which they got
[second pass]]
"so we losta little time"
"that the girls wanted"
"i'll see ya again"
"you're pretty"
"hope you get your good luck..."
"and i dig what your were sayin"
"about that white girl in the nurses uniform"
"lotsa fancy dress in the street last night"
"someone had a BIG party""
"i know i did"
***
sang with robert james
he did the
godfather theme for me
so i let go
***** that guy can fingerpick on a guitar
he's taken to slappin the guitar now
comin out mor in his playing
which i like
cause it's kinda how i play the beast too
nowhere near as good as him though
[set music to All Audio Random]
Coldplay
"Shiver"
man
he really pissed ya when he took ya out didn;t he ?
"i was surfin to yellow"
"by coldplay"
take my voice paulie...
i was boppin along
groovin to yellow
and playin with the tiddler waves
and it was nice man
haven't ridden to yellow for a long time
it went off the radio station playlists
and i used to love it in the surf
and this guy
comes spinning out into the water
and takes me out
which mostly is funny
but it was boggy
and hard to get back up
and it spoiled my song
so
umm
i was complainin like
and sayin
let everyone enjoy it man
sorry
ya took me out
durin a song i love
and i haven;t done it for a while
no offense ok
sorry bree
it was real nice
till the cockhead factor crept in
i said it was a fuckin wintersport
it stops the cockheads runnin out into t he surf
to take me out
or shake my hand
although
not all those are cockheads
sittin in charlies cafe
in the early hours of the mornin
after havina rave to the bouncer
and takin a seat
these two guys came up
real enthusiastic
shakin my hands
just chuffed
asked if it was ok
cause i was takin a break like
yeah man
i got time for ppl
i had to ride jennifer 2 unicycle
for half an hour
before goin down on the beach
just get back in the zone
she's kinda weird to ride
bein half a bicycle and all
and twenty seven inches in diameter
with the skinny tyre
one chick though
was not impressed with
the tweenie doll
hangin off the back like she was dead
sorry jen
it ain;t a good look
<<< smile >>>
i got a sick sense of humour
***
get me a cute doll then
like the jennifer doll ya bought versace lady
before ya broke up with her
"wouldn;'t survive two seconds out there"
"in the real world"
"on the back of a unicycle"
"i'll keep it in mind though"
"see what turns up"
***
sorry old lady jennifer steam traction engine
the boys neededa hand
pullin the body off the range rover again
the chassis's not straight enough
apparently
i know you understand
with the constant maintenance you need
keep puffing
we'll come see ya soon...
***
Placebo
"Centrefolds"
***
was playin for a bit
musta been blockin
was talkin about versace lady-jane
The Black Eyed Peas
"Smells like funk"
***
about ten minutes from wombles
i rang him
ya home man ?
i'll be there in like ten minutes
put the jug on man
he knows it's a three cone penalty to disobey
wal and womble
had some chicks over
watchin trading places
i hung till the movie finished
got hooked
"jamie lee curtis i think"
ah well
we did multiple cones
and womble was handin out red wines
i had a couple
and those two bourbons earlier
just gettin trashed
to go out and play
hope there's a low tide [there was]
wanta take the big unicycle on the beach
and told the
gathering
how i met womble
and how special he is
ridin around in winter
without a shirt
real fuckin cold
i talk to thousands of ppl
no-one cares
boppin along
not really cold
yoga freak
and ridin hard
in four degrees celsius
wet feet from ridin in the surf
[jane just rang]
[she got a strange call from krystle]
[man]
[she called her some names]
[jane didn;t like it much]
[rang me to complain about it]
[friendly enough]
[but i haven't rung her]
[keeps askin what i'm up to]
[back to doin what i was doin]
[comin home at six am]
[after ridin the unicycle and singin all night]
[third pass]
can;t sleep at your house jane
your son owns the bedroom
can;t come in at sparrow fart and sleep till lunchtime
no respect
this is how i live
"didn;t go that far babe"
no
but i think maybe she's beginning to understand
the man she lived with was not
the unicycle man
"it's cause she don;t listen"
"allocate an hour and half in a night"
'for paulie to go entertain the crowd"
"and then go do what she wants to do"
"just doesn;t dig it..."
[third pass]
womble got me to stop
was bothered i was cold
made me put on a jumper he had
sittin in his guitar case
and he cared
tried to save th buggers who had their lights off
in their cars
for safety
and to stop the coppers gettin em
obvious pullup ya know
just a really nice man
the girls liked the tale
[second pass]
and wal
[second pass]
it is special
cause of how many thousands of ppl
i rode past and talked to
in the freezing winter cold
with wet legs
and sand everywhere
thanks man
you restored my faith in humanity
at a time when i really needed it
and i wil never forget it
and ppl still smile
when i tell em
i met this really nice man
called womble
singin in surfers paradise
with a heart of gold...
***
jane's freakin
"ya get that"
ya weren;t real friendly
"i spoke to her fine"
"and answered all her questions"
"was surprised i came home from the coast"
"she don;t know morticia's in new zealand"
"womble said knock on his window at 4 am"
"and i could crash on the couch"
"thought he might score that chick"
"so i politely declined"
"nah man, i'll go where the wind takes me"
"it's how i like to do it"
"it was good too"
***
Kylie Minogue
"promises"
***
ya gotta share a performer
ya don;t own them
the crowd are always askin em
to do somethin else
for them
hard to live with
unless you;re a performer too
i guess
***
saw your new clip britney
but was still wakin up
the boys got me out of bed
a tad early
and i was waitin for him to stop gasbaggin on the phone
so we could
do the high lift
on the range rover
i wanna see it again though
but not like
for the teasin breast shots ok
i'd rather listen to ya sing
or show me for real
bit tame for me i think...
***
sat with
miri
"that's wrong man"
she can;t remember your name either
friendly but
playin a clarinet ?
movin to brizzie
got some music happening
not plannin on buskin
but we'll see
she likes it
that close crowd
so do i
***
sang with mick under th elights
at the end of the night
last songs
down opposite the granny bar
***** he can sing
i stayed on my feet
and mostly had my eyes open
wasn;t all that drunk
and just nicely stoned
and lettin go
fuckin thank you man
just glorius
"beautiful music"
"must like your groove man"
"its rare i stand up and sing"
+++
goin shoppin with what's left of the weekends budget
for my dinner
and a packet of fags
that'll kill that last fifteen bucks
don;t touch monday to fridays money
till tomorrow
different budget
two hundred for the weekend
had to buy drugs outta that
and that was a fitty
and it cost like thirty to go to surfers
got a hundred to last till thursday
and it;s gotta buy fourty odd in fuel
and i'll smoke like
man i smoke too much
ah well
it's all good
a normal week
goin to the shop
love ya's HARD...
+++
i didn;t touch you
you touched me
***
wolfwhistles
***
"not as skittish of those as you were"
thanks for dinner
was yummie
no i'm not
"last comment for the night from the crowd ?"
a couple of chicks opna balcony
on like the tenth floor
screamin their lungs out
"go hard man..."
it's all good...
***
they like that
360 done in bunny hops
"well i can;t do a 360"
"it's a big wrench"
can do like a 270
"yeah, and fly off the beast into t he crowd"
"occasioanally"
"just for the hell of it"
***
hookup with kuta lady later ?
"she messaged back she'd send an sms when she got back"
you gunna go there that time of night ?
"yeah"
***
lisa marie
"***** she was gorgeous"
***
mick and i were talkin
lotsa incentive out there tonight
look at the fuckin women
man
hot chicks everywhere
after 3
and most of the clubs were in lock out
"thaT were left open"
the ppl stayed int he street
and partied
but mellow
we were there
singin away with mick
goin like
nah man
i wanna sing
dont wanna do bunnyhops i've done my gig
"but ya gave em to him"
his girlfriend was cute
"mad *****"
***
had a white pointer wizard hat last night
took some white tape
electrical tape
and wound it round th epeak of the shark fin
wizard hat
with womble
and the lady
runnin critique
on how big it should be
and yeah that;'s it
its all art...
***
chicks dig the hat anyway
guys are into other things
but ya try man
"as ya do"
***
car slaloms
don;t do em ok
dont do this at home
unless you;re a maniac
and i didn;t put you up to it
ok ?
cars bumper to bumper
creepin forward
come down the line
the wrong way
and play chicken with every car
as they move forward
to the next stop
some of the reactions are
interesting
"to say the least"
"it's fuckin fun but"
oh
and don;t do drugs and alcohol while you;re doin it neither
we been doin it for a long time...
***
someone;s gotta be
out there
to entertain the more
out there section of the community
thanks folks
your enthusiasm for what i do
was lovely
only a couple of cockheads
a couple of chicks
different places
tryin to knock me down
a guy in the surf
got me ata disadvantage there
i's kinda critical already
and doesn;t take as much to knock me off
those chicks had buckleys
welded to the seat
wizard man
it's a fuckin winter sport
ridin a unicycle inthe surf
womble's telly
had like this
guy jumpin a hole
ina frozen lake
and i went like
that's why man
it;s on the edge
but umm
i didn;t wanna destroy
my two week old
mp3 player
had it in my pocket
while i was int he surf
tryin to resist
goin deper thana foot
and here comes this guy
ah man
windmiling and spinning
and havina good time
he';s gunna take me out
hope the mp3 player survives
it did
i landed on my feet
this time
gunnna HAVE to waterproof it
don;t know what it is
btu some ppl can;t resist
guy in the surf
a wizard
dancing on a unicycle
let's go knock him down man
winter sport
colder the better
didn;t need the wetsuit pants last night
player's not waterproof yet
will be soon
if it;s really fuckin cold
they goota b way out there
to run out
and crash tackle me
but it still happens
njsut not as much
summertime
it just ain;t a propostion
too many ppl onm the beach
and way drunk
and man
i'm gunna knock the clown down
be careful but
if the coppers see ya
they will charge you with assault
they have ripped ppl fromthe crowd inthe past
for gettina little too enthusiastic
there's a human being under the hat
and it;s not legal
to run up and knock him down
and they take a dim view of it
so do i
cause you might not have enough money
to pay the law suits
when ya break my legs
spoil my balance
by jumpin on top of me
and crash tacklin me to the ground
yeah
it's funny
you;re takin a risk though
and i ride int he spotlight
so the cameras can see me
and
YOU
i may be aunicyclemaniac
and ride with my eyes closed and *****
the danger i face though
is ppl
forgetting
that i'm a human being
and thinkin that hurting me
is funny
there's balance in it though
i scared the ***** out of this pne guy
went past him
with like
an inch to spare
and he had a great fright
bitched about it at length to his friends
they were laughin
ah well
it's not how ya get the laugh
bu that you get the laugh
and we've all got
different things that twist us
hope i twisted you...
..
..
..
love ya's hard
..
..
..
the wizard
***
p.s.
cause they don;t see
the unicycle man
now
now they see a wizard...
"ppl judge a book by it's cover...:"
***
p.p.s
pak protector
"you have to protect your species"
why ?
"if you're really psychic"
"what are your responsibilities ?"
to warn of danger
FOR YOUR TRIBE KUTAMAN
"and if you do your job properly"
"you give enough warning"
"and things turn out"
"as ya saw in the future anyway"
"but the warning still has to be given"
"how can you not be an oracle"
"if you;re truly psychic"
"if you care about ppl"
"don;t you have to do what you can ?"
but it hurts us
and i'm sure it hurts others as well
"what's more important jennifer ?"
"survival or feelings"
survival obviously
the race has to survive
"ok then"
"We work on training this gift"
"and we continue"
"As we have done"
"for three years"
next month
"to try"
"to have our psyhcic diary"
"that reads the fututre"
"publish on the web"
course
they won't give ya a pc
and an internet connection
in prison man
"dig it"
"i have a problem with the all using me"
"and it hurts"
"and it comes with too many rules"
"so i fight it"
"i deserve a little break"
"the government"
"kindly sent me a piece of paper"
"they'll start payin off that last fine"
"just sign it and send it back"
"we'll sign it and send it back"
"and see what comes"
the all won;t let ya stop
"i dig it"
"but i have fun tryin"
"it's a trying thing to do"
"especially if YOU DON'T GIVE A *****"
"BUT I'M PSYCHIC"
"AND I WOULD BE A LESSER BEING"
"IF I SAT DOWN ON MY COUCH"
"AND DIDN;T TRY"
"AND I REFUSE TO BE A LESSER BEING..."
"PAUL"
.
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