boot it in th guts
+++
that's th way
+++
ah ***** barbie girl
she's thrown him out again
th nephew's back home again
too wild
supposed to be
for a couple of months this time
we'll see
th durations are gettin longer
and
he might change schools
+++
bloody typical
he goes to log on
no drive
uncle paul
it's gone again paulie
whip th cover off
fiddle with th drive wires and
boot it in th guts
ah there we are
+++
"wow"
"windows xp"
dont get too excited
+++
it was ungly
three stories up
and
dead flat tiels
what do ya call these fuckers ?
i cant repeat that
and i say fuckin *****
all th time
hmm
that bad hey ?
well thongs arent holdin me up here
i'll go get th volleys outta th car
yur kiddin
kennie put volleys on
didnt wash it in bare feet
ok
man
how big was th slide ?
ugly
nah
just a bit freaked by
thirty foot drop to ground
nuthin to hook toes in
we'll get there
at least these barge tiles are straight
"hmm"
"laid into th roof as a setback"
just to make it
that little bit harder
"and a bit further to reach"
mungrel
right
fifty foot back
at sixty k's
looks sweet
+++
"was a better job than that"
shoosh
+++
i duno man
he's on
he can see
thru it
had two coats
worst section of th whoel fuckin roof
he's
go down it a third time
yur a ***** man
get down on th ground and
oh there is a tile up there
on th edge
painted
you'd need fuckin binoculars
ya wet *****
even then
yur mad
+++
look man
spray over there
it's wettin off under my feet
yeah
you do that
+++
"he was in fine form"
funny bugger
+++
"was he right ?"
it was th first
high side we went down
maybe
he has got good eyes
"yeah but no-one else can see what he sees"
why he's almost deaf
+++
"i get it"
+++
"is why i dont listen"
"i see so good"
otherwise yur listening
to someone else's opinion
+++
"i'm not doin that"
"fuckin ever"
+++
"i see seven days in front of me"
"i'll get by thanks"
+++
<<< smiel >>>
+++
"make me lunch dinner"
get fucked
+++
"th water's boiling"
i'm havin a cone first
..
..
..
"average ordinary australian male"
***** yeah
..
..
..
+++
how was yur day man ?
"it was fucked"
+++
ah it's always fucked
+++
so ya bought in a box of peanuts did ya ?
+++
"been ages"
arseholes
+++
got th strains of
fifty cent
comin up th stairs
i'll
pirate it later
music on ***** ya
+++
a perfect circle
'the outsider'
+++
we're just good mates wal
+++
i know she touches
but she's
excitable
+++
he didnt kill th baby on th screen
ah *****
look at th tears
pouring out
th gun had blanks
+++
ok kuta lady
thank you
+++
how do ya spell of ?
*****
and take one letter off
+++
the verve
'the rugs dotn work'
+++
should be
the drugs dont work
but apparently
they do
scuse i
..
..
..
i'll just try th new ones
smoeks alright
+++
let's see how it wears
+++
stop singin jenny
+++
jenny ?
+++
"woke up"
"got out of bed"
"kicked paris hilton in th head"
it was a weird dream
+++
what are you doin down there ?
+++
question i been meaning to ask
while yur there
*****
cant remember it now
+++
robbie williams and nicole kidman
'somethin stupd'
+++
"ooh"
"oh dear"
+++
***** man
+++
"i wasnt lookin at her titties"
"hoenst"
+++
that's honest jennifer
+++
jen
+++
"who hasnt barbie girl defaced ?"
dont think it was her dear
her little sister
+++
"no fair nickie"
told ya
+++
"i deserve that for last night"
you do
+++
U2
'sunday bloody sunday'
+++
"<<<smiel >>>"
shutup
+++
"that's pretty suckie paulie"
"i cant fantasize about someone else"
"windows is against me"
+++
two ways to see it
+++
"just know it's gonna be th next song ?"
now how would i do that ?
+++
"but it came to ya"
"to write it again"
"some hours ago"
and wrote it at th wright time
to be funny
+++
hey jane
+++
"staunch irish"
+++
cat stevens
'where do th children play?'
+++
wherever i fucking please
+++
i got one downstairs
bit liek your youngest
"and th other two boys"
+++
xc panel van
+++
ford nine inch
diff
same rubber
new lifters
bigger carb
more air
more air
+++
only thing he hasnt bolted on
is a supercharger
+++
300 horses is
streetable
"too streetable"
that cam's comin out
flat top pistons
"new crank rods"
do th rockers man
+++
450 i reckon
will drive those wheels
+++
nickelback
'leader of men'
+++
toss th mini spool
before it
spits
care to take a wager young fella ?
+++
"he wont"
"wise to his dad"
+++
[knock at th door]
[it's th lad]
more spelling
but harder words
+++
scuse i
..
..
..
nice gift
thank you
+++
"all day every day"
***** it can be annoying
+++
would be hard to swallow
care factor
+++
george carlin
'feminist *****'
+++
i'd hate to
have to think of these
song titles
+++
"day after day"
alone on a hill
+++
"fuckin funny that one"
+++
it makes me wet
"i'm th feminine personality"
"*****"
+++
a perfect circle
'the nurse who loved me'
+++
"was lookin at backy and"
"thinkin"
"hmm"
"unicycle to th shops"
"for a new pouch"
"ah *****"
"child minding"
"specially today"
"a perfect circle"
"you wait"
"we ride later"
+++
didnt like
bein thrown in th back seat
"kuta lady says they have a soul"
dont throw me this arv dear
i know i moved ya
+++
dont knock th uni man
it makes great abs
+++
i especially
did NOT
bring yur fuckin girls bike
young man
you got a unicycle there
use that
+++
system of a down
'aerials'
+++
tv head
+++
"time to sneak down for a cuppa"
..
..
..
afroman
'she wont let me *****'
+++
that'll take some of th fat off ya
ya fat black *****
havin th young fella home
ya dont jump on th trampoline enough
+++
ezee posse
'everything starts with an e'
+++
stupid dogs
even comes to that
+++
boot it in th guts
so sorry mr kangaroo
no signs of life
dont jump out
in front of my truck
+++
placebo
'this picture'
+++
wot's wrong with this picture ?
it's our national animal
we eat it
+++
if condition's are good
th roos multiply
+++
"when they can divide"
"we'll stop cullin em"
fair enough
+++
dunno though
i cooked it as dog tucker
jeez you were a fussy woman
every fuckin night
come for a roo steak
are you mad ?
+++
you were well fed billy
no wonder ya got so big
+++
"touch of dingo"
only a quarter
+++
"dog after that was quarter dingo"
red cattle dog
"and she bought a bluey cross"
yeah but no wild dog in it
never fit in
+++
th cat came from th bush
six month old feral
ginger
+++
regurgitator
'g7 ***** electro boogie'
+++
"yeah and she brought th cat back"
"too wild"
"and th other one"
"th red ***** billy"
"brought back to paulei"
"too wild"
"you raise it"
another one downstairs
+++
mine'll be along one day
sheepishly draggin in behind his mother
"too wild"
"cant keep him in school"
+++
"what if he went tame ?"
is it likely ?
i was nickin th old ladys car at thirteen
to go skating
it;s in th blood
+++
janes addiction
'jane says'
+++
dont try this at home
+++
jane's addiction is gambling
+++
"not in th veins"
+++
dont you double word play me young lady
+++
th cocaine was a long time ago
when she was a millionaire
+++
"triple i think"
+++
ah
little brother is home
whack a cone down jen
time to fly
"aye aye land surfer dude"
..
..
..
"gotta beat th storm"
"ridin on a stick of steel"
..
..
..
back
+++
madness
'?'
'i go driving in my car'
+++
no ya stupid computer
why i'm fit
i went on th wheel
*****
+++
hmm
got clapped
chick this time
on a verandha
twice jennnifer
"noted"
+++
coupel of arm waves
a car horn
"all th young fellas next door"
"broad slides in th gravel driveway and"
"cold"
th wheel feels good
+++
hit th big road and
bloody big wind got me
but happy to diarize
no falls
+++
placebo
'20th century boy'
+++
get with it
+++
boy at th door
more spelling
+++
"dont i cast enough spells ?"
+++
"how's honesty ?"
98% and holding
+++
weird
neither of us ride a horse
but honesty
has pride of place on th wall
bumped th old lady from that spot
couldnt believe it
+++
you were a nice horse
came when you were called
and all th rest followed you in
+++
do re mi
'big accident'
+++
sure was uncle genie
that horse is a fuckin dog
comes when it's called
and affectionate as
all th other dumb arabs
all came saunterin in behind er
she th lord mucky muck
+++
"preferred th other uncle's horse stud"
appaloosa's
"bigger"
yur auntie still got a few
+++
"<<< smiel >>>"
+++
ya had to take him up there man
wild country
sixteen year old cousin
got a bar tab
how long he gunna survive at his mum's ?
after that
"bout a week"
+++
his birthday two days ago
11 october
+++
if that project is
up to scratch
we're talkin go karts
you him and robbie
weekend
+++
"they goin to drag th car"
+++
george
'spawn'
+++
we had this big convo
on th way home
from high school
destruction testing
and building muscle cars
theory
one oh one
+++
ya have to evolve beast
he on th phoen right now
thursday ya see
trading post is out
ringin and
pricing
if that engine's comin out four times
i agree young fella
we should have a spare
+++
got rid of th other 351
that was
cluttering up our workshop
wrong for this beast anyway
+++
"big block"
quiet
"big block"
he'll put fuckin gas on it
sick *****
+++
boot it in th guts
i have but
it's on gas
and got no petrol
+++
make five hundred horses
and then throw
best part of a hundred away
+++
make lovely engine
feed it low octane crap
"not"
burn characteristics
dont make th power
+++
that amount of traction
he can go 450
and still street drag
+++
"he go way over that"
"that last big block"
"evolved"
+++
saw a
cobra on th way home
+++
do re mi
'theme from jungle jim'
+++
"replica"
they;re lighter
"pends who made it"
+++
"see a badge ?"
no
+++
ultra wide flair
it's a replica
"too many replicas"
der
+++
ok man
it had two plugs in th head
so
ya put in a cold one
and a hot one
and
change plugs
out at th pub
litle screwdriver
lean out th mixture
and
zow
+++
two stroke power band
and
throw ya over th handlebars
when ya
boot it in th guts
+++
i am not kicking this animal in it's stomach
+++
eric cartman
'block rockin cartman'
+++
i can get co operation
out of a wild animal
without beatin it up
+++
wanna hold my cat ?
+++
seven and a half kilo of solid muscle
th four dogs dont take him on
+++
"and two of them are quarter dingo"
+++
lovely dog
+++
long memory
come out of nowhere
and take old mike out
he remembers
you kicked him when he was a pup
+++
"ankle biter"
only him
+++
?
'predictable'
+++
ankle biter is a kid
when they;re annoyin ya
nip at yer heels
liek a red cattle dog
"a blue cattle dog"
"ankle biter"
red's really bite
+++
right
boot it in th guts
four feet of flames erupt
out of th carburettor
hmm
a bit big those jets
+++
garbage
'queer'
+++
queer in fact
should run a carby this size
just throw away this
restrictor plate
and this
sensor
double th size of th air filter
right
boot it in th guts
ROAR
+++
well that exhaust system has to go
+++
"th parts have started collecting"
+++
if we're goin drag racin
we be
swappin engines pretty regular
"i wont have to pull down th engine crane"
hooray
+++
i found another xf
layin in a backyard
in my travels
hmm
+++
it's close enough
t's a tow job
+++
david essex
'rock on'
+++
"ok"
+++
have to do a bit of door knockin
"wanna wash th paint off first ?"
dont have to happen today
+++
might feel sorry for ya
and let ya go out singin
"yeah right"
+++
"need th unicycle slalom thrill more"
<<<smiel >>>
+++
"i havent cleaned up a post in ages"
+++
bill hicks
'save willie'
+++
"was he a street muso?"
"way back when"
+++
you wont ride town
without stoppin to sing
"true"
+++
nirvana
'breed'
+++
"to pretty girls"
+++
lessee
if th bath'll soak th paint off
"th tap's broken"
i'm too small to bust that many taps
"nother one sorry"
+++
remind me to buy another pair of
tap handles
bloody unicycle
+++
portishead
'all mine'
+++
ah th bath music
you ***** now
all mine
..
..
..
hmm
still playin
but now it's
portishead
'sour times'
+++
rumbling otuside ?
"no that;s th turbo diesel"
and now ?
"ah yeah"
"dirty big storm"
+++
humid as
+++
t be a zen master
you dont have to achieve a
100% score
i'm frequently wrong
but th truth evades me
for only so long
+++
the rolling stones
'angie'
+++
hmm
media player had a conniption
before it came on
"paulei not liek libby"
"her song"
+++
boot it in the guts
"paulei"
+++
some ex wives should be
not seen and not heard
+++
"and ex husbands"
too true
+++
98%
my car beaks down in th driveway
that two percent
i deserve
+++
i did umm
pretty much what i told ya
i was gunna do
five years before that
th visions i had
when we met
and after every orgasm
still got some way to go but
still havent seen
anythin
not happen
+++
violent femmes
'jesus walking on the water'
+++
i use a two foot unicycle
in one foot of water
looks about right
+++
i threw ya a coupel of curves libby
i ahd to
+++
"had to go to surfers paradise"
"and unicycle in th surf"
+++
and sing in th street
"and operant condition our gift"
+++
"only one name you havent tried on"
dont be ridiculous
"bree thought you were his brother"
+++
shakespears sister
'catwoman'
+++
not talkin about you
other witch of eastwick
jeez you girls catty
+++
tell ehr to ***** sabrina
+++
sabrina prayed for a saint
"and morticia wanted a warlock"
"catwoman ?"
a dancing partner
"and a witch"
+++
"send a text"
"cookin bacon and eggs for dinner"
wot's for breakfast paulie ?
+++
write it down catwoman
trust it
it's real
+++
stop it hurting you
acknowledge it
+++
"and train it"
"liek a loyal dog"
shutup jenny
fill th bong
+++
"scuse i"
"."
"."
"."
acdc
'girls got rhythm'
+++
hope so
otherwise i'm whinging
+++
get on th big drum and
"boot it in th guts"
maybe tomorrow
+++
is a nice feeling
wailing on th heart beat drum
watchin th pretty girls dance
"i liek to dance paulie"
cant when yur drummin dear
+++
the kinks
'see my friend'
+++
"busted"
not this time
+++
"can i try it again ?"
<<< smile >>>
it's your diary too
"woke up"
"got out of bed"
"kicked paris hilton in th head"
"NEXT"
+++
nirvana
'all apologies'
+++
"ah paulie"
+++
when ya wore th heiress t shirt
we all saw a good way into yur soul
+++
i think th NEXT line jenny
was a bit
"made it funnier"
+++
"boot it in th guts and"
"you comin clubbin cow ?"
"or y gunna lay there all night"
but is she alone ?
+++
coldplay
'the scientist'
+++
"nice looking planet"
"just get these water samples and"
"me for home and a hot bath"
CLUNK
"ya ***** of a space ship"
"where's my bloody phone ?"
boot it in th guts again
nup
drive plate's misaligned
i can tow ya in
but
yur spaceship insurance has lapsed
it'll be full fair
pretty pale skin ya got there
this a hot planet
ya wanna discuss this inside over a cold drink ?
<<< smile >>>
+++
bill hicks
'people who hate people'
+++
tenacious d
'lee'
+++
look catwoman
+++
"she wont be forgotten"
"cant mention either of th other two"
amazing
+++
city high
'you dont know me'
+++
"well that aint in th plan"
+++
it's my diary
do you have a right to judge me ?
+++
to have zen
is to be one with god
i ask my god a question
my god answers
pronto
+++
i feign to ask
th replies are always
in
biblical proportion
+++
i thank
the all
for my gift and
all
th help you provide
+++
"wears some times"
balance
"in all things"
+++
mother brought up by maids
"father by peasants"
+++
black white
male female
rich poor
+++
i give thanks to
the all
+++
david bowie
'the man who sold the world'
+++
"200 million is peanuts paulie"
i know
+++
tracks in th sky
what happens when th light
waves pile up
in th windscreen
of th
faster than light craft
if th light is awash
pure white
will th
dark matter
be visible
+++
the monkees
'i'm a believer'
+++
"cant see th stars"
"can see th planets"
+++
be tricky
if reality proves it
"theory"
+++
there's light everywhere
no such thing as darkness
at multiples of th speed of light
you hit many light particles
+++
ernie watts
'highway blues'
+++
how to find our way
at light speed
and beyond
+++
i liek that concept
what you see
out of th windscreen
at over light speed
is yur rear end
your drive's light
+++
a perfect circle
'renholder'
+++
yur accelerating that fast
all you can see is
you get th light
coming back at you
from your own rear end
cause it's at light spped
and you aren;t
+++
send a robot on th first trip
"and a jillion sensors"
+++
"does my bum look big in this?"
+++
regurgitator
'pop porn'
+++
<<<smiel >>>
+++
i'm outta here
"later land surfer dude"
..
..
..
"jenny"
+
paulie
=
land surfer dude
+++
p.s.
E&OE
.
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