(taken from http://unixgirl.com/humor/bible1.html - sorry if you've seen
this before)
Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice And
usually scoldings to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she
said that to an Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according
to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned in any circumstance.
The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident and
also posted on the internet:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the
homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus
18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific
laws and how to follow them.
a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbours.
They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her?
c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how
do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend
of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can
you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
e) I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill
him myself?
f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.
I don't agree. Can you settle this?
g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have
a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does
my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by
Lev.19:27. How should they die?
i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different
crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of
two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends
to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all
the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them?
(Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family
affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you
can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal
and unchanging. Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
.
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| User: "Steven Douglas" |
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| Title: Re: Do you like to use the bible as an excuse to do things? |
21 Feb 2007 10:45:46 PM |
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On Feb 21, 4:28 pm, "mukyuk" <a...@b.com> wrote:
"Steven Douglas" <dste...@flashmail.com> wrote in message
news:1172100043.737245.77700@q2g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
On Feb 21, 3:11 pm, Woodswun <woods...@tepidmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, 20 Feb 2007 21:42:26 -0800, Steven Douglas wrote:
On Feb 19, 8:57 pm, "mukyuk" <a...@b.com> wrote:
In the absence of Laura Schlessinger, I'm sure Steven can answer all
of
those questions for us....
Why? Are you under the assumption that I'm an Orthodox Jew?
Nevertheless, I do have a response to this -- but I know that if I
post it, I'll quickly be referred to as holier-than-thou and preachy.
Therefore, I'll take the advice of a recent poster who reminded me of
the words in Matthew 7:6.
Thus proving, once and for all, that you most certainly do think you're
better than everyone else here.
Damned if I do and damned if I don't. Can't win with you, can I?
There are some who say that God is about surrender rathere than 'winning'
Steven...
Do you believe in God? And you know, in that situation the word "win"
does not mean "prevail" or "victory" (as opposed to "surrender"). Used
in that phrase, the word "win" means "succeed" (as opposed to "fail").
.
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| User: "mukyuk" |
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| Title: Re: Do you like to use the bible as an excuse to do things? |
22 Feb 2007 01:05:52 AM |
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"Steven Douglas" <dsteven@flashmail.com> wrote in message
news:1172119546.499635.183540@a75g2000cwd.googlegroups.com...
On Feb 21, 4:28 pm, "mukyuk" <a...@b.com> wrote:
"Steven Douglas" <dste...@flashmail.com> wrote in message
news:1172100043.737245.77700@q2g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
On Feb 21, 3:11 pm, Woodswun <woods...@tepidmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, 20 Feb 2007 21:42:26 -0800, Steven Douglas wrote:
On Feb 19, 8:57 pm, "mukyuk" <a...@b.com> wrote:
In the absence of Laura Schlessinger, I'm sure Steven can answer
all
of
those questions for us....
Why? Are you under the assumption that I'm an Orthodox Jew?
Nevertheless, I do have a response to this -- but I know that if I
post it, I'll quickly be referred to as holier-than-thou and
preachy.
Therefore, I'll take the advice of a recent poster who reminded me
of
the words in Matthew 7:6.
Thus proving, once and for all, that you most certainly do think
you're
better than everyone else here.
Damned if I do and damned if I don't. Can't win with you, can I?
There are some who say that God is about surrender rathere than 'winning'
Steven...
Do you believe in God?
Since I must be God, yes, I do believe!
And you know, in that situation the word "win"
does not mean "prevail" or "victory" (as opposed to "surrender"). Used
in that phrase, the word "win" means "succeed" (as opposed to "fail").
Suceed or fail at what though? What don't you want to fail?
.
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| User: "Perseid" |
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| Title: Re: Do you like to use the bible as an excuse to do things? |
22 Feb 2007 08:01:37 PM |
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After Much Chewing of Cud and Cogitation, "Steven Douglas"
<dsteven@flashmail.com> Spat the Words
On Feb 21, 4:28 pm, "mukyuk" <a...@b.com> wrote:
"Steven Douglas" <dste...@flashmail.com> wrote in message
news:1172100043.737245.77700@q2g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
On Feb 21, 3:11 pm, Woodswun <woods...@tepidmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, 20 Feb 2007 21:42:26 -0800, Steven Douglas wrote:
On Feb 19, 8:57 pm, "mukyuk" <a...@b.com> wrote:
In the absence of Laura Schlessinger, I'm sure Steven can answer
all of
those questions for us....
Why? Are you under the assumption that I'm an Orthodox Jew?
Nevertheless, I do have a response to this -- but I know that if I
post it, I'll quickly be referred to as holier-than-thou and
preachy. Therefore, I'll take the advice of a recent poster who
reminded me of the words in Matthew 7:6.
Thus proving, once and for all, that you most certainly do think
you're better than everyone else here.
Damned if I do and damned if I don't. Can't win with you, can I?
There are some who say that God is about surrender rathere than
'winning' Steven...
Do you believe in God? And you know, in that situation the word "win"
does not mean "prevail" or "victory" (as opposed to "surrender"). Used
in that phrase, the word "win" means "succeed" (as opposed to "fail").
He may have been referring to 'Islam'.. roughly translated as
'the surrendering'.
.
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| User: "Woodswun" |
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| Title: Re: Do you like to use the bible as an excuse to do things? |
21 Feb 2007 05:48:35 PM |
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On Wed, 21 Feb 2007 15:20:43 -0800, Steven Douglas wrote:
On Feb 21, 3:11 pm, Woodswun <woods...@tepidmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, 20 Feb 2007 21:42:26 -0800, Steven Douglas wrote:
On Feb 19, 8:57 pm, "mukyuk" <a...@b.com> wrote:
In the absence of Laura Schlessinger, I'm sure Steven can answer all of
those questions for us....
Why? Are you under the assumption that I'm an Orthodox Jew?
Nevertheless, I do have a response to this -- but I know that if I
post it, I'll quickly be referred to as holier-than-thou and preachy.
Therefore, I'll take the advice of a recent poster who reminded me of
the words in Matthew 7:6.
Thus proving, once and for all, that you most certainly do think you're
better than everyone else here.
Damned if I do and damned if I don't. Can't win with you, can I?
You can't win period, Steven.
Woods
.
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| User: "Steven Douglas" |
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| Title: Re: Do you like to use the bible as an excuse to do things? |
21 Feb 2007 10:43:38 PM |
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On Feb 21, 3:48 pm, Woodswun <woods...@tepidmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, 21 Feb 2007 15:20:43 -0800, Steven Douglas wrote:
On Feb 21, 3:11 pm, Woodswun <woods...@tepidmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, 20 Feb 2007 21:42:26 -0800, Steven Douglas wrote:
On Feb 19, 8:57 pm, "mukyuk" <a...@b.com> wrote:
In the absence of Laura Schlessinger, I'm sure Steven can answer all of
those questions for us....
Why? Are you under the assumption that I'm an Orthodox Jew?
Nevertheless, I do have a response to this -- but I know that if I
post it, I'll quickly be referred to as holier-than-thou and preachy.
Therefore, I'll take the advice of a recent poster who reminded me of
the words in Matthew 7:6.
Thus proving, once and for all, that you most certainly do think you're
better than everyone else here.
Damned if I do and damned if I don't. Can't win with you, can I?
You can't win period, Steven.
That's what I thought. And I don't even mind that you think you're
better than me, though I do find it somewhat ironic.
.
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| User: "Woodswun" |
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| Title: Re: Do you like to use the bible as an excuse to do things? |
22 Feb 2007 04:56:23 PM |
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On Wed, 21 Feb 2007 20:43:38 -0800, Steven Douglas wrote:
On Feb 21, 3:48 pm, Woodswun <woods...@tepidmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, 21 Feb 2007 15:20:43 -0800, Steven Douglas wrote:
On Feb 21, 3:11 pm, Woodswun <woods...@tepidmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, 20 Feb 2007 21:42:26 -0800, Steven Douglas wrote:
On Feb 19, 8:57 pm, "mukyuk" <a...@b.com> wrote:
In the absence of Laura Schlessinger, I'm sure Steven can answer all of
those questions for us....
Why? Are you under the assumption that I'm an Orthodox Jew?
Nevertheless, I do have a response to this -- but I know that if I
post it, I'll quickly be referred to as holier-than-thou and preachy.
Therefore, I'll take the advice of a recent poster who reminded me of
the words in Matthew 7:6.
Thus proving, once and for all, that you most certainly do think you're
better than everyone else here.
Damned if I do and damned if I don't. Can't win with you, can I?
You can't win period, Steven.
That's what I thought. And I don't even mind that you think you're
better than me, though I do find it somewhat ironic.
You're projecting again. I'm merely stating the obvious, since a Pharisee
like yourself cannot win any religious arguments except with other
Pharisees - and that is merely dependent on whose ability to regurgitate
the interpretations of others. Hardly a win, either, IMHO.
Woods
.
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| User: "Steven Douglas" |
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| Title: Re: Do you like to use the bible as an excuse to do things? |
22 Feb 2007 10:46:59 PM |
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On Feb 22, 2:56 pm, Woodswun <woods...@tepidmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, 21 Feb 2007 20:43:38 -0800, Steven Douglas wrote:
On Feb 21, 3:48 pm, Woodswun <woods...@tepidmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, 21 Feb 2007 15:20:43 -0800, Steven Douglas wrote:
On Feb 21, 3:11 pm, Woodswun <woods...@tepidmail.com> wrote:
On Tue, 20 Feb 2007 21:42:26 -0800, Steven Douglas wrote:
On Feb 19, 8:57 pm, "mukyuk" <a...@b.com> wrote:
In the absence of Laura Schlessinger, I'm sure Steven can answer all of
those questions for us....
Why? Are you under the assumption that I'm an Orthodox Jew?
Nevertheless, I do have a response to this -- but I know that if I
post it, I'll quickly be referred to as holier-than-thou and preachy.
Therefore, I'll take the advice of a recent poster who reminded me of
the words in Matthew 7:6.
Thus proving, once and for all, that you most certainly do think you're
better than everyone else here.
Damned if I do and damned if I don't. Can't win with you, can I?
You can't win period, Steven.
That's what I thought. And I don't even mind that you think you're
better than me, though I do find it somewhat ironic.
You're projecting again.
You're doing a bit of projecting yourself.
I'm merely stating the obvious, since a Pharisee like yourself
cannot win any religious arguments except with other Pharisees -
Maybe you don't realize it, but you're a pharisee yourself. The tone
of your post (the one I'm responding to) is a perfect demonstration of
that fact.
and that is merely dependent on whose ability to regurgitate
the interpretations of others.
You've been preaching and interpreting things Biblical for the benefit
of this group since before I ever started posting here.
Hardly a win, either, IMHO.
You've already informed me that I can never win with you, pharisee.
.
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