A Muslim dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter meets him at
the gate and says, "Welcome to heaven my son, please enter!"
The Muslim says "Oh no, no, I cannot enter without seeing Allah." St. Peter
says, "Oh... Allah. He is upstairs."
The Muslim says, "Well of course, Allah is upstairs!" He climbs upstairs and
meets Jesus.
Jesus says "Welcome to heaven my child, please enter!" And the Muslim says
"Oh no, no, with all due respect, I cannot enter without seeing Allah."
Jesus says "But of course...Allah is upstairs, top floor."
The Muslim smiles and thinks to himself, "Of course, Allah is on top of
heaven itself because He is most high!"
At the final gate he meets the all mighty Lord himself who says "Welcome to
heaven my child, please enter."
As expected, the Muslim says he cannot enter without meeting Allah, to which
the Lord replies "I understand, my child...Allah is here. But he is busy
right now. Why don't you have a seat and wait for him?"
The Muslim is so excited that his Allah is so important, after all he always
believed this was so. The Lord says to the Muslim "Why you must be parched,
would you like a drink?"
The Muslim says, "Yes, I would like a drink. I would like that very much."
And the Lord asks, "Would you like a Coke?"
The Muslim says "Yes, that sounds good, thank you."
The Lord says, "It does indeed. I think I'll join you."
And with that the Lord snapped his fingers and said, "Allah, bring two
cokes!"
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| User: "Woodswun" |
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| Title: Re: Here's a good one |
27 Apr 2004 04:57:46 PM |
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In article <ivzjc.31$633.23@doctor.cableinet.net>, "Bigfoot" <johncon2@hotmail.com> wrote:
A Muslim dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter meets him at
the gate and says, "Welcome to heaven my son, please enter!"
The Muslim says "Oh no, no, I cannot enter without seeing Allah." St. Peter
says, "Oh... Allah. He is upstairs."
The Muslim says, "Well of course, Allah is upstairs!" He climbs upstairs and
meets Jesus.
Jesus says "Welcome to heaven my child, please enter!" And the Muslim says
"Oh no, no, with all due respect, I cannot enter without seeing Allah."
Jesus says "But of course...Allah is upstairs, top floor."
The Muslim smiles and thinks to himself, "Of course, Allah is on top of
heaven itself because He is most high!"
At the final gate he meets the all mighty Lord himself who says "Welcome to
heaven my child, please enter."
As expected, the Muslim says he cannot enter without meeting Allah, to which
the Lord replies "I understand, my child...Allah is here. But he is busy
right now. Why don't you have a seat and wait for him?"
The Muslim is so excited that his Allah is so important, after all he always
believed this was so. The Lord says to the Muslim "Why you must be parched,
would you like a drink?"
The Muslim says, "Yes, I would like a drink. I would like that very much."
And the Lord asks, "Would you like a Coke?"
The Muslim says "Yes, that sounds good, thank you."
The Lord says, "It does indeed. I think I'll join you."
And with that the Lord snapped his fingers and said, "Allah, bring two
cokes!"
Would be really cute if it weren't for the fact that Allah/Lord/God/Yahweh are
all the same being.
Woods
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| User: "sUSAn B Anthony" |
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| Title: Re: Here's a good one |
27 Apr 2004 09:38:25 PM |
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Woods wrote:
Would be really cute if it weren't for the
fact that Allah/Lord/God/Yahweh are all
the same being.
And all are non-existent to the atheist.
Just how factual should a joke be?
Lighten up!!
Let's all laugh a little before we die!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahaha
<falls over dead - massive fingertip hemorrhage>
sUSAn ;)
Woods
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| User: "yipee yahoo" |
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| Title: Re: Here's a good one |
28 Apr 2004 05:14:01 AM |
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(sUSAn B Anthony) wrote in message news:<1310-408F1921-29@storefull-3218.bay.webtv.net>...
Woods wrote:
Would be really cute if it weren't for the
fact that Allah/Lord/God/Yahweh are all
the same being.
And all are non-existent to the atheist.
Just how factual should a joke be?
Lighten up!!
Let's all laugh a little before we die!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahaha
<falls over dead - massive fingertip hemorrhage>
sUSAn ;)
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, sweetie-sugar-plum-fairies ;-)
Uncle Wally ;-)
=========================================================================
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| User: "TonyZ2001" |
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| Title: Re: Here's a good one |
28 Apr 2004 06:25:27 AM |
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woodswun@tepidmail.com
wrote:
Would be really cute if it weren't for the >fact that Allah/Lord/God/Yahweh
are all the same being.
Wrong.
"Allah" has nothing whatsoever to do with the God worshipped by Jews and
Christians, no more than the "god" of Satanists for that matter.
Tony
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| User: "WillyWaco" |
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| Title: Re: Here's a good one |
28 Apr 2004 10:20:00 AM |
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A re-post that strongly relates to this type of humor. Humor is often =
used to disguise a person's attitude toward a particular subject and, in =
that context, makes it more socially palatable--even though the =
intention is still the same, and that is, attack and denigrate a =
religion, political org., sexual orientation, or just an individual's =
personality.=20
How sweet it is! And down below is my little contribution...and it's =
necessary to read ALL of it to understand why I tossed this "humor" =
in...
Willy
"TonyZ2001" <tonyz2001@aol.com> wrote in message =
news:20040428072527.15479.00000461@mb-m05.aol.com...
woodswun@tepidmail.com
wrote:
=20
Would be really cute if it weren't for the >fact that =
Allah/Lord/God/Yahweh
are all the same being.
=20
Wrong.
=20
"Allah" has nothing whatsoever to do with the God worshipped by Jews =
and
Christians, no more than the "god" of Satanists for that matter.
=20
Tony
John F Lemke" <jflemke@LocalLink.net> wrote in message =
news:G_idnQ3qAtTZBRDdRVn-jw@locallink.net...
=20
"WillyWaco" <g-ray52@excite.com> wrote in message
news:c6irus02jr4@enews3.newsguy.com...
=20
" John F Lemke" <jflemke@LocalLink.net> wrote in message
news:84udnfCNavMnQxHdRVn-gg@locallink.net...
"Ceazer XII" <brianzde@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:916cd0c.0404252253.28eb25c0@posting.google.com...
Do you think the USA will bomb or invade any more countries over =
the
next 5 years?
Ask Cheney, Wolfowitz, Perle and Feith.
What will be the global consequence of another largescale =
terrorist
attack in the U.S ?
What happened after the "small scale" attack on the World Trade =
Center and
the Pentagon?
=20
1) Are you kidding? We've already virtually had this bunch of =
war-farers
guarantee more "liberations" to come. Just which country will be =
"either for
us or against us" is, according to the inmates in the Bushitarium, =
depends
on their compliance with this empire's Great Plan For Peace.
=20
I'm pretty much with you here. If they "Vulcans" don't meet with =
success in
Iraq they may not get up the head of steam they'd need to extend their
vision for a free world thru the use of "American might".
=20
I'd strongly urge anyone that hasn't already to pick up a copy of =
May's
"Vanity Fair" magazine. Easy introduction to the world of "neocon".
=20
=20
But another attack on America might very well make success in Iraq a =
moot
point. There'll be calls for the military to nuke every Arab capitol, =
folks
will be lined up for id cards for blocks, old men will be volunteering =
for
the Marine Corps, Arab-Americans will be taking their lives into their =
own
hands just standing in the windows of their homes.
=20
=20
=20
2) More Constitutional abridgements and probably areas under "martial =
law,"
the reinstitution of a military draft, much more public money =
squandered for
conventional military hardware, much more security everywhere =
including
strip searches, public hangings of terrorists, a cable channel devoted
entirely to terrorist news, named The Terror Channel (sponsored by =
Disney).
Willy
=20
=20
That'll save Eisner's job.
ROFL!!! I think Micky Mouse will introduce each daily show with, "Hi ya, =
boys and girls, what day is it? It's Monday, and that means we've got an =
extra special show for you! Today is Hate Muslims Day, boys and girls, =
and what do we do on this day?! That's right, kids! We call them every =
racist name in the book, tell them their God is less than ours, and =
think about how our Bible warns us these sand niggers will be aligned =
with the Antichrist against Holy Israel in the end times! We've got word =
games coming up next, and mouseketeer Holly will start the fun, with =
'What is another word for camel fucker?' "=20
Willy
=20
One more large attack here will definitely change the complexion of =
the
republic. I think it's only a matter of time and a certain degree of
"planning".
=20
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| User: "Woodswun" |
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| Title: Re: Here's a good one |
28 Apr 2004 09:03:00 PM |
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In article <20040428072527.15479.00000461@mb-m05.aol.com>, (TonyZ2001) wrote:
woodswun@tepidmail.com
wrote:
Would be really cute if it weren't for the >fact that Allah/Lord/God/Yahweh
are all the same being.
Wrong.
"Allah" has nothing whatsoever to do with the God worshipped by Jews and
Christians, no more than the "god" of Satanists for that matter.
Satanists are bad Christians (they got their ideas from Judeo/Christianity,
outside of which Satan does not exist). "Allah" is another word for "God", same
as "Yahweh", just as indicated.
Just because people's beliefs about God, and their mechanism for worship, are
different from yours does NOT mean there is more than one God.
Woods
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| User: "Zak" |
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| Title: Re: Here's a good one |
29 Apr 2004 07:03:31 AM |
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On 28 Apr 2004 11:25:27 GMT, (TonyZ2001) wrote:
woodswun@tepidmail.com
wrote:
Would be really cute if it weren't for the >fact that Allah/Lord/God/Yahweh
are all the same being.
Wrong.
"Allah" has nothing whatsoever to do with the God worshipped by Jews and
Christians, no more than the "god" of Satanists for that matter.
Tony
IDIOT, what's the difference what his name is as long as it is one
"god", or did your Alien buddies give you some inside info? Hahahahaha
.
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| User: "Cuan" |
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| Title: Re: Here's a good one |
28 Apr 2004 08:24:16 AM |
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On 28 Apr 2004 11:25:27 GMT, (TonyZ2001) wrote:
woodswun@tepidmail.com
wrote:
Would be really cute if it weren't for the >fact that Allah/Lord/God/Yahweh
are all the same being.
Wrong.
"Allah" has nothing whatsoever to do with the God worshipped by Jews and
Christians, no more than the "god" of Satanists for that matter.
Tony
oh really? references please? ;-)
Would just looove to know how you can be so sure.
- cuan
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| User: "Bigfoot" |
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| Title: Re: Here's a good one |
27 Apr 2004 05:28:12 PM |
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It's called using your imagination.
"Woodswun" <woodswun@tepidmail.com> wrote in message
news:uHAjc.116260$M3.109368@twister.nyroc.rr.com...
In article <ivzjc.31$633.23@doctor.cableinet.net>, "Bigfoot"
<johncon2@hotmail.com> wrote:
A Muslim dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter meets him
at
the gate and says, "Welcome to heaven my son, please enter!"
The Muslim says "Oh no, no, I cannot enter without seeing Allah." St.
Peter
says, "Oh... Allah. He is upstairs."
The Muslim says, "Well of course, Allah is upstairs!" He climbs upstairs
and
meets Jesus.
Jesus says "Welcome to heaven my child, please enter!" And the Muslim
says
"Oh no, no, with all due respect, I cannot enter without seeing Allah."
Jesus says "But of course...Allah is upstairs, top floor."
The Muslim smiles and thinks to himself, "Of course, Allah is on top of
heaven itself because He is most high!"
At the final gate he meets the all mighty Lord himself who says "Welcome
to
heaven my child, please enter."
As expected, the Muslim says he cannot enter without meeting Allah, to
which
the Lord replies "I understand, my child...Allah is here. But he is busy
right now. Why don't you have a seat and wait for him?"
The Muslim is so excited that his Allah is so important, after all he
always
believed this was so. The Lord says to the Muslim "Why you must be
parched,
would you like a drink?"
The Muslim says, "Yes, I would like a drink. I would like that very
much."
And the Lord asks, "Would you like a Coke?"
The Muslim says "Yes, that sounds good, thank you."
The Lord says, "It does indeed. I think I'll join you."
And with that the Lord snapped his fingers and said, "Allah, bring two
cokes!"
Would be really cute if it weren't for the fact that Allah/Lord/God/Yahweh
are
all the same being.
Woods
.
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| User: "Jean Guernon" |
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| Title: Re: Here's a good one |
27 Apr 2004 07:19:46 PM |
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Bigfoot a écrit:
It's called using your imagination.
Maybe the virgins are the cherries in the coke? ;-)
J.
"Woodswun" <woodswun@tepidmail.com> wrote in message
news:uHAjc.116260$M3.109368@twister.nyroc.rr.com...
In article <ivzjc.31$633.23@doctor.cableinet.net>, "Bigfoot"
<johncon2@hotmail.com> wrote:
A Muslim dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter meets him
at
the gate and says, "Welcome to heaven my son, please enter!"
The Muslim says "Oh no, no, I cannot enter without seeing Allah." St.
Peter
says, "Oh... Allah. He is upstairs."
The Muslim says, "Well of course, Allah is upstairs!" He climbs upstairs
and
meets Jesus.
Jesus says "Welcome to heaven my child, please enter!" And the Muslim
says
"Oh no, no, with all due respect, I cannot enter without seeing Allah."
Jesus says "But of course...Allah is upstairs, top floor."
The Muslim smiles and thinks to himself, "Of course, Allah is on top of
heaven itself because He is most high!"
At the final gate he meets the all mighty Lord himself who says "Welcome
to
heaven my child, please enter."
As expected, the Muslim says he cannot enter without meeting Allah, to
which
the Lord replies "I understand, my child...Allah is here. But he is busy
right now. Why don't you have a seat and wait for him?"
The Muslim is so excited that his Allah is so important, after all he
always
believed this was so. The Lord says to the Muslim "Why you must be
parched,
would you like a drink?"
The Muslim says, "Yes, I would like a drink. I would like that very
much."
And the Lord asks, "Would you like a Coke?"
The Muslim says "Yes, that sounds good, thank you."
The Lord says, "It does indeed. I think I'll join you."
And with that the Lord snapped his fingers and said, "Allah, bring two
cokes!"
Would be really cute if it weren't for the fact that Allah/Lord/God/Yahweh
are
all the same being.
Woods
.
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| User: "tw" |
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| Title: Re: Here's a good one |
28 Apr 2004 04:20:01 AM |
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|
"Jean Guernon" <jguernon@globetrotter.net> wrote in message
news:CMCjc.14208273$Of.2372125@news.easynews.com...
Bigfoot a écrit:
It's called using your imagination.
Maybe the virgins are the cherries in the coke? ;-)
Maybe they have a little jesus-on-a-cross swizzle stick to stir it with? :-)
J.
"Woodswun" <woodswun@tepidmail.com> wrote in message
news:uHAjc.116260$M3.109368@twister.nyroc.rr.com...
In article <ivzjc.31$633.23@doctor.cableinet.net>, "Bigfoot"
<johncon2@hotmail.com> wrote:
A Muslim dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter meets
him
at
the gate and says, "Welcome to heaven my son, please enter!"
The Muslim says "Oh no, no, I cannot enter without seeing Allah." St.
Peter
says, "Oh... Allah. He is upstairs."
The Muslim says, "Well of course, Allah is upstairs!" He climbs
upstairs
and
meets Jesus.
Jesus says "Welcome to heaven my child, please enter!" And the Muslim
says
"Oh no, no, with all due respect, I cannot enter without seeing Allah."
Jesus says "But of course...Allah is upstairs, top floor."
The Muslim smiles and thinks to himself, "Of course, Allah is on top of
heaven itself because He is most high!"
At the final gate he meets the all mighty Lord himself who says
"Welcome
to
heaven my child, please enter."
As expected, the Muslim says he cannot enter without meeting Allah, to
which
the Lord replies "I understand, my child...Allah is here. But he is
busy
right now. Why don't you have a seat and wait for him?"
The Muslim is so excited that his Allah is so important, after all he
always
believed this was so. The Lord says to the Muslim "Why you must be
parched,
would you like a drink?"
The Muslim says, "Yes, I would like a drink. I would like that very
much."
And the Lord asks, "Would you like a Coke?"
The Muslim says "Yes, that sounds good, thank you."
The Lord says, "It does indeed. I think I'll join you."
And with that the Lord snapped his fingers and said, "Allah, bring two
cokes!"
Would be really cute if it weren't for the fact that
Allah/Lord/God/Yahweh
are
all the same being.
Woods
.
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| User: "Cuan" |
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| Title: Re: Here's a good one |
28 Apr 2004 07:13:24 AM |
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On Tue, 27 Apr 2004 21:39:31 +0100, "Bigfoot" <johncon2@hotmail.com>
wrote:
A Muslim dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter meets him at
the gate and says, "Welcome to heaven my son, please enter!"
The Muslim says "Oh no, no, I cannot enter without seeing Allah." St. Peter
says, "Oh... Allah. He is upstairs."
The Muslim says, "Well of course, Allah is upstairs!" He climbs upstairs and
meets Jesus.
Jesus says "Welcome to heaven my child, please enter!" And the Muslim says
"Oh no, no, with all due respect, I cannot enter without seeing Allah."
Jesus says "But of course...Allah is upstairs, top floor."
The Muslim smiles and thinks to himself, "Of course, Allah is on top of
heaven itself because He is most high!"
At the final gate he meets the all mighty Lord himself who says "Welcome to
heaven my child, please enter."
As expected, the Muslim says he cannot enter without meeting Allah, to which
the Lord replies "I understand, my child...Allah is here. But he is busy
right now. Why don't you have a seat and wait for him?"
The Muslim is so excited that his Allah is so important, after all he always
believed this was so. The Lord says to the Muslim "Why you must be parched,
would you like a drink?"
The Muslim says, "Yes, I would like a drink. I would like that very much."
And the Lord asks, "Would you like a Coke?"
The Muslim says "Yes, that sounds good, thank you."
The Lord says, "It does indeed. I think I'll join you."
And with that the Lord snapped his fingers and said, "Allah, bring two
cokes!"
The Muslem should have known something was up when God offered him a
Coke. It is an american product afterall.
He failed the test. No more virgin wifes for him.
- cuan
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