"Hyena" wrote;
Why all the 'Christian' objection?
Cloning seems to me to be 'following in the footsteps of God'.
Was God not supposed to have said that he created man...'In his
own
likeness?'
Why then should we not follow his example. That's what we are
supposed
to do isn't it?...Follow His example?
Right up and until we start stepping on His Big Toes, trying to
do His job for Him. He wants us to be as 'perfect' as He is, not
as 'powerful', etc., and not to assume His role of 'creator',
'judge', 'executioner', etc.
To digress...I suppose a touch of incest is fine too. After God
cloned
Eve from Adam, well the children of their union must have
united
sexually to produce the next generation. Oh yes, there must
have been
a fair bit of incest about in those days.
You are assuming again. But at least it's a good assumption. I
too have wondered where Cain found his wife upon leaving wherever
he was 'in the Lord's presence. Cain was Adam and Eve's first
child, Abel second. So where did these other people come from?
"Cain and Abel"
1 Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave
birth to Cain. She said, "With the help of the LORD I have
brought forth a man." 2 Later she gave birth to his brother Abel.
<snip>
15 But the LORD said to him, "Not so ; if anyone kills Cain, he
will suffer vengeance seven times over." Then the LORD put a mark
on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him. 16 So Cain
went out from the LORD's presence and lived in the land of Nod,
east of Eden.
17 Cain lay with his wife, and she became pregnant and gave birth
to Enoch. Cain was then building a city, and he named it after
his son Enoch. 18 To Enoch was born Irad, and Irad was the father
of Mehujael, and Mehujael was the father of Methushael, and
Methushael was the father of Lamech.
19 Lamech married two women, one named Adah and the other Zillah.
20 Adah gave birth to Jabal; he was the father of those who live
in tents and raise livestock. 21 His brother's name was Jakov; he
was the father of all who play the skin flute, night and day,
constantly, eventually dwelling in the towns Sodom and Gomorrah.
He never ended up begatting anyone, actually, he just played his
damned skin flute all the livelong day, and night, until his day
of reckoning from the LORD."
(Genesis 4:1-2;15-21 MIV)
The only way I could overcome this dilemma was to 'invent' a
theory. It goes something like this...
In the beginning, after God created the heavens and the earth,
and the beasts of the field, fish, birds, etc., He patted Himself
on His Back, and said, 'Not bad, eh?"
He then looked at the primates He made, and went 'Hmmmm....' He
was especially intrigued with the chimpanzees scrambling around,
and thought to Himself, 'Wouldn't it be cool to one day see these
creatures evolve into something even more clever?'
So, he grabbed a female chimp, which He liked to call Eve
P4-238896, extracted one her ovum, took it back to His Big Lab,
and played around with it. He then re-inserted that mutated egg
back into Eve P4-238896, and allowed it to grow to term, and be
born.
And so thus Cain P5-1 was born. Eve P4-238896, who would go on to
become the stuff of chimp legends for centuries afterwards due to
her giving birth despite not having 'been with a male chimpanzee'
raised Cain P5-1 as her very own child, despite his rather
outsized head (which caused Eve P4-238896 no small amount of
consternation and physical pain during his birth, btw), and his
bizarre habit of masturbating while erect, that is, standing up
straight, and doing so more than any of his male chimp buddies,
combined.
And God said, 'Well, he does at least have a big head, and knows
how to use it well. Perhaps one day, these new creatures I keep
creating will grow a head so big that they will stop that thing
they keep doing with their tallywhackers.'
Fast forward some few million years, after the Australopithecus,
Homo Erectus (figure that name out for yourself, like duh), etc.
there came a time when there were two groups of proto-people
living on the earth, the Neanderthals and the Cro-Magnons.
Now, both 'species' had very, very big heads, which God saw, and
was glad. But He also noticed that the Neanderthals, while having
the slightly bigger head, and uglier I might add, masturbated
inordinately much more than their Cro-Magnon cousins.
So God caused all of the Neanderthals to become sterile, and
within 50 years or so, the entire species died out, leaving only
the Cro-Magnons around to kill each other for a change.
And one day, after God got bored watching these hairy
proto-humans pound each other's skulls in, making the same stupid
flintheads etc., He extracted an ovum from a female Cro-Magnon he
nicknamed Eve P85-7899843, toyed around with it, and eventually
Cain H1-1 was born, the first true Homo Sapiens (Wise Man).
And Cain H1-1, being very handsome in appearance in the eyes of
the Cro-Magnon women he grew up with, was so busy 'knowing' them
that he had no time to play with his John Thomas, even if he
wanted to.
Eventually, after Cain H1-1's progeny had filled up the world for
a few millennia, God was ready to perform his 'coup de grace',
and on October 10, 4004 BCE, He took a female Homo Sapiens,
extracted one of her ova, and this time, not only did he mutate
it physically, He put His own 'likeness' into it, that is, His
own 'Spirit'. Thus, the child, and all his progeny would pass on
this 'likeness'.
Knowing the child needed protection from all the ever more clever
skullcrushing Homo Sapiens in the world, He built a big playpen
called Eden, and set cherubim with flashing swords and stuff to
keep them out. And God raised Adam Himself, as Adam was half Him.
This 'likeness', or 'soul', being of God's own 'essence', was
also by necessity just as immortal as God was. And He named the
child Adam H2-1. And God was very, very proud of Adam, despite
the fact that upon even before reaching adolescence, way before,
he began showing the same disturbing tendency to touch himself,
'down there', more than even the damned Neanderthals. Shaking His
Grand Stately Head, God muttered to Himself, 'Sheesh...what the
hell do I have to do to make them stop that?'
So, after watching Adam the teenager, having nobody around to
play with, whacking off day in day out, and starting to look at
the female sheep in a bad, bad way, God said, 'We've got to get
Adam H2-1 laid, and soon, I'm not sure if I can handle a
millennium of watching him do that.'
But instead of going outside the pen called Eden and getting him
a girl to bring to Eden, he instead took one of his many fresh
sperms lying all around on the ground, took it back to His Big
Lab, and extracted its DNA, inserted it into a empty ovum from
the outside stock, and, umm, put it back into the womb of that
girl, whom He called Eve H1-34591166, who brought it to term, and
gave birth to Eve H2-2, whom was grabbed by God immediately upon
her birth, and placed in the pen called Eden.
The surrogate mother, incidentally wasn't entirely abandoned by
God thereafter, in case you're wondering, but was compensated
handsomely, putting her up in a condominium in a city in the
northern part of Nod, which is east of Eden, and paying the rent
up front for the next 500 months, the rest of her short life.
Anyhow, back in Eden, Adam didn't know what to make of this
little brat Eve H2-2, but helped God raise her until she grew
into an adolescent. After sprouting the predictable tits, the
curvy bottom and whatnot, Adam suddenly stopped looking at the
sheep, and his incessant masturbating, and noticed Eve, for what
she had become. And so Adam began to know Eve, and never stopped
knowing her, yet without ever getting to understand her
nonetheless. He was happy enough to go about prancing naked with
her in the Big Playpen called Eden. And God was glad.
Jumping to the end of the story, after Cain H2-3 had killed his
brother Abel H2-4, and God kicking his ***** to the east of Eden,
outside of the now decrepit and overgrown, untended Eden, he met
up with the 'girl without an apparent name', from the Homo Sapien
crowd, and passed on the 'likeness' (which he inherited from his
parents, who inherited it from God) onto their children, and so
on, and so forth.
Eventually, the entire planet became of the same 'likeness',
having the same 'essence' of God within themselves, having an
immortal soul.
Well, that's the way I figure it happened, anyhow. It works for
me.
I wonder why it's considered so revolting and immoral now.
After all,
Christians who believe, must realise that we are all are the
result of
an incestuous relationship.
I wonder why God didn't make a larger number of men and
women...to
avoid the problem. Still, I suppose he thought his special
apple more
important than all of this.
Hyena
You shouldn't think so much, Hyena. That's why God gave you a
Tallywhacker. That also works for me, who apparently has WAY too
much time, not to mention other unmentionable 'stuff', on his
hands. I can't wait for this vacation to end so I can go back to
work.
.
|
|
| User: "Hyena" |
|
| Title: Re: In the beginning... |
25 Feb 2004 05:58:28 AM |
|
|
"Dan" <twotrickpony@shaw.ca> wrote in message news:<6KN_b.612728$ts4.126601@pd7tw3no>...
"I can't wait for this vacation to end so I can go back to work."
I have a rather strong, and sad suspicion that your holiday is due to
end on 4 March and you will...vanish as quickly as you arrived.
That's a pity.
I bow down. I openly admit it has been a revelation, a satisfying
suprise to find someone with whom I can cross swords and laugh with,
rather than laugh at.
Your composition above merits a place of honour on the all-time
enjoyable posts from any Ng. I've read, and re-read it. Exceptional!
Now I am going to read it again and save it. It's too good to be lost
within googles data base ;)
What! I (underlined) think too much? You match, possibly surpass me on
that one!
God but I hate saying this....original, brilliant and worthy of a
prize. Thanks;)
Hyena
.
|
|
|
| User: "Dan" |
|
| Title: Re: In the beginning... |
26 Feb 2004 12:19:14 PM |
|
|
"Hyena" >
I have a rather strong, and sad suspicion that your holiday is
due to
end on 4 March and you will...vanish as quickly as you arrived.
Naaahh..this is way too much fun, bud. Regards
.
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "sUSAn B Anthony" |
|
| Title: Re: In the beginning... |
25 Feb 2004 06:12:27 AM |
|
|
Dan wrote:
You shouldn't think so much, Hyena.
That's why God gave you a
Tallywhacker. That also works for me,
who apparently has WAY too much
time, not to mention other
unmentionable 'stuff', on his hands. I
can't wait for this vacation to end so I
can go back to work.
Ick!!!
Go wash your hands!
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "cesar" |
|
| Title: Re: In the beginning... |
24 Feb 2004 10:33:23 PM |
|
|
God, Dear God, oh God. Why, why, why have you created me so weak?
[Pause] No reply.
O God, I want to be is master of my domain and not slave to my beastly
desires.
[Pause] Still no reply.
Thank you Lord. You have just answered my question.
God works in mysterious ways. We, humans operate in devious ways.
Do you whack off in broad daylight, openly like the chimps do? No, you do
it hidden in darkness, in private. Why? Is it because you are ashamed of
your nakedness? Is it because you don't think it is right to be doing
that? If your answer is yes, then you are human. If your answer is no,
then you are a like a beast. Therein the difference. One has Conscience;
the other doesn't.
But, being human is being weak. Therein the challenge and the battle with
one's demons.
3:5 He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I
will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his
name before my Father, and before his angels.
3:21 To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even
as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.
21:7 He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God,
and he shall be my son.
Overcome, Dan, overcome. Not *****. Overcome. Get over it. What is
ecstasy for a fleeting moment compared to eternal joy? Walk in the Light?
Or hide in shame for the nakedness?
Yeah, I know... I know... Who am I to talk? No one is holier than thou.
These are demons that we must fight and overcome. Having sex with the
Serpent was the downfall of Eve and having sex with Eve became the downfall
of mankind. To him who overcomes, paradise will be regained.
cesar
"Dan" <twotrickpony@shaw.ca> wrote in message
news:6KN_b.612728$ts4.126601@pd7tw3no...
"Hyena" wrote;
Why all the 'Christian' objection?
Cloning seems to me to be 'following in the footsteps of God'.
Was God not supposed to have said that he created man...'In his
own
likeness?'
Why then should we not follow his example. That's what we are
supposed
to do isn't it?...Follow His example?
Right up and until we start stepping on His Big Toes, trying to
do His job for Him. He wants us to be as 'perfect' as He is, not
as 'powerful', etc., and not to assume His role of 'creator',
'judge', 'executioner', etc.
To digress...I suppose a touch of incest is fine too. After God
cloned
Eve from Adam, well the children of their union must have
united
sexually to produce the next generation. Oh yes, there must
have been
a fair bit of incest about in those days.
You are assuming again. But at least it's a good assumption. I
too have wondered where Cain found his wife upon leaving wherever
he was 'in the Lord's presence. Cain was Adam and Eve's first
child, Abel second. So where did these other people come from?
"Cain and Abel"
1 Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave
birth to Cain. She said, "With the help of the LORD I have
brought forth a man." 2 Later she gave birth to his brother Abel.
<snip>
15 But the LORD said to him, "Not so ; if anyone kills Cain, he
will suffer vengeance seven times over." Then the LORD put a mark
on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him. 16 So Cain
went out from the LORD's presence and lived in the land of Nod,
east of Eden.
17 Cain lay with his wife, and she became pregnant and gave birth
to Enoch. Cain was then building a city, and he named it after
his son Enoch. 18 To Enoch was born Irad, and Irad was the father
of Mehujael, and Mehujael was the father of Methushael, and
Methushael was the father of Lamech.
19 Lamech married two women, one named Adah and the other Zillah.
20 Adah gave birth to Jabal; he was the father of those who live
in tents and raise livestock. 21 His brother's name was Jakov; he
was the father of all who play the skin flute, night and day,
constantly, eventually dwelling in the towns Sodom and Gomorrah.
He never ended up begatting anyone, actually, he just played his
damned skin flute all the livelong day, and night, until his day
of reckoning from the LORD."
(Genesis 4:1-2;15-21 MIV)
The only way I could overcome this dilemma was to 'invent' a
theory. It goes something like this...
In the beginning, after God created the heavens and the earth,
and the beasts of the field, fish, birds, etc., He patted Himself
on His Back, and said, 'Not bad, eh?"
He then looked at the primates He made, and went 'Hmmmm....' He
was especially intrigued with the chimpanzees scrambling around,
and thought to Himself, 'Wouldn't it be cool to one day see these
creatures evolve into something even more clever?'
So, he grabbed a female chimp, which He liked to call Eve
P4-238896, extracted one her ovum, took it back to His Big Lab,
and played around with it. He then re-inserted that mutated egg
back into Eve P4-238896, and allowed it to grow to term, and be
born.
And so thus Cain P5-1 was born. Eve P4-238896, who would go on to
become the stuff of chimp legends for centuries afterwards due to
her giving birth despite not having 'been with a male chimpanzee'
raised Cain P5-1 as her very own child, despite his rather
outsized head (which caused Eve P4-238896 no small amount of
consternation and physical pain during his birth, btw), and his
bizarre habit of masturbating while erect, that is, standing up
straight, and doing so more than any of his male chimp buddies,
combined.
And God said, 'Well, he does at least have a big head, and knows
how to use it well. Perhaps one day, these new creatures I keep
creating will grow a head so big that they will stop that thing
they keep doing with their tallywhackers.'
Fast forward some few million years, after the Australopithecus,
Homo Erectus (figure that name out for yourself, like duh), etc.
there came a time when there were two groups of proto-people
living on the earth, the Neanderthals and the Cro-Magnons.
Now, both 'species' had very, very big heads, which God saw, and
was glad. But He also noticed that the Neanderthals, while having
the slightly bigger head, and uglier I might add, masturbated
inordinately much more than their Cro-Magnon cousins.
So God caused all of the Neanderthals to become sterile, and
within 50 years or so, the entire species died out, leaving only
the Cro-Magnons around to kill each other for a change.
And one day, after God got bored watching these hairy
proto-humans pound each other's skulls in, making the same stupid
flintheads etc., He extracted an ovum from a female Cro-Magnon he
nicknamed Eve P85-7899843, toyed around with it, and eventually
Cain H1-1 was born, the first true Homo Sapiens (Wise Man).
And Cain H1-1, being very handsome in appearance in the eyes of
the Cro-Magnon women he grew up with, was so busy 'knowing' them
that he had no time to play with his John Thomas, even if he
wanted to.
Eventually, after Cain H1-1's progeny had filled up the world for
a few millennia, God was ready to perform his 'coup de grace',
and on October 10, 4004 BCE, He took a female Homo Sapiens,
extracted one of her ova, and this time, not only did he mutate
it physically, He put His own 'likeness' into it, that is, His
own 'Spirit'. Thus, the child, and all his progeny would pass on
this 'likeness'.
Knowing the child needed protection from all the ever more clever
skullcrushing Homo Sapiens in the world, He built a big playpen
called Eden, and set cherubim with flashing swords and stuff to
keep them out. And God raised Adam Himself, as Adam was half Him.
This 'likeness', or 'soul', being of God's own 'essence', was
also by necessity just as immortal as God was. And He named the
child Adam H2-1. And God was very, very proud of Adam, despite
the fact that upon even before reaching adolescence, way before,
he began showing the same disturbing tendency to touch himself,
'down there', more than even the damned Neanderthals. Shaking His
Grand Stately Head, God muttered to Himself, 'Sheesh...what the
hell do I have to do to make them stop that?'
So, after watching Adam the teenager, having nobody around to
play with, whacking off day in day out, and starting to look at
the female sheep in a bad, bad way, God said, 'We've got to get
Adam H2-1 laid, and soon, I'm not sure if I can handle a
millennium of watching him do that.'
But instead of going outside the pen called Eden and getting him
a girl to bring to Eden, he instead took one of his many fresh
sperms lying all around on the ground, took it back to His Big
Lab, and extracted its DNA, inserted it into a empty ovum from
the outside stock, and, umm, put it back into the womb of that
girl, whom He called Eve H1-34591166, who brought it to term, and
gave birth to Eve H2-2, whom was grabbed by God immediately upon
her birth, and placed in the pen called Eden.
The surrogate mother, incidentally wasn't entirely abandoned by
God thereafter, in case you're wondering, but was compensated
handsomely, putting her up in a condominium in a city in the
northern part of Nod, which is east of Eden, and paying the rent
up front for the next 500 months, the rest of her short life.
Anyhow, back in Eden, Adam didn't know what to make of this
little brat Eve H2-2, but helped God raise her until she grew
into an adolescent. After sprouting the predictable tits, the
curvy bottom and whatnot, Adam suddenly stopped looking at the
sheep, and his incessant masturbating, and noticed Eve, for what
she had become. And so Adam began to know Eve, and never stopped
knowing her, yet without ever getting to understand her
nonetheless. He was happy enough to go about prancing naked with
her in the Big Playpen called Eden. And God was glad.
Jumping to the end of the story, after Cain H2-3 had killed his
brother Abel H2-4, and God kicking his ***** to the east of Eden,
outside of the now decrepit and overgrown, untended Eden, he met
up with the 'girl without an apparent name', from the Homo Sapien
crowd, and passed on the 'likeness' (which he inherited from his
parents, who inherited it from God) onto their children, and so
on, and so forth.
Eventually, the entire planet became of the same 'likeness',
having the same 'essence' of God within themselves, having an
immortal soul.
Well, that's the way I figure it happened, anyhow. It works for
me.
I wonder why it's considered so revolting and immoral now.
After all,
Christians who believe, must realise that we are all are the
result of
an incestuous relationship.
I wonder why God didn't make a larger number of men and
women...to
avoid the problem. Still, I suppose he thought his special
apple more
important than all of this.
Hyena
You shouldn't think so much, Hyena. That's why God gave you a
Tallywhacker. That also works for me, who apparently has WAY too
much time, not to mention other unmentionable 'stuff', on his
hands. I can't wait for this vacation to end so I can go back to
work.
----== Posted via Newsfeed.Com - Unlimited-Uncensored-Secure Usenet News==----
http://www.newsfeed.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! >100,000 Newsgroups
---= 19 East/West-Coast Specialized Servers - Total Privacy via Encryption =---
.
|
|
|
| User: "sUSAn B Anthony" |
|
| Title: Re: In the beginning... |
25 Feb 2004 06:26:04 AM |
|
|
Cesar wrote:
Yeah, I know... I know... Who am I to
talk? =A0 No one is holier than thou. These
are demons that we must fight and
overcome. =A0 Having sex with the
Serpent was the downfall of Eve and
having sex with Eve became the
downfall of mankind. =A0
Still is. Especially for politicians.
Chicks rule the land! :)
(non burqa(sp?) wearing, of course)
To him who overcomes, paradise will be >regained.
Confucius say:
He who overcomes.......should drink vitamin-packed nutrition milk shake
for breakfast.
.
|
|
|
| User: "Dan" |
|
| Title: Re: In the beginning... |
25 Feb 2004 08:12:31 AM |
|
|
"sUSAn B Anthony" wrote;
Still is. Especially for politicians.
Chicks rule the land! :)
(non burqa(sp?) wearing, of course)
To him who overcomes, paradise will be >regained.
Confucius say:
He who overcomes.......should drink vitamin-packed nutrition milk
shake
for breakfast.
Ewwww...and they call me disgusting. How you girls can bring
yourselves to do that, and still hold The Head up is beyond me.
Dinner at 8:00 p.m. sharp, bring the burqa(sp?), wearing nothing
else, of course :)
.
|
|
|
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|
| User: "Dani" |
|
| Title: Re: In the beginning... |
24 Feb 2004 11:56:08 PM |
|
|
On Tue, 24 Feb 2004 23:33:23 -0500, "cesar" <cesar@no.email> wrote:
God, Dear God, oh God. Why, why, why have you created me so weak?
[Pause] No reply.
O God, I want to be is master of my domain and not slave to my beastly
desires.
[Pause] Still no reply.
Thank you Lord. You have just answered my question.
God works in mysterious ways. We, humans operate in devious ways.
Do you whack off in broad daylight, openly like the chimps do? No, you do
it hidden in darkness, in private. Why? Is it because you are ashamed of
your nakedness? Is it because you don't think it is right to be doing
that? If your answer is yes, then you are human. If your answer is no,
then you are a like a beast. Therein the difference. One has Conscience;
the other doesn't.
But, being human is being weak. Therein the challenge and the battle with
one's demons.
3:5 He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I
will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his
name before my Father, and before his angels.
3:21 To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even
as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.
21:7 He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God,
and he shall be my son.
Overcome, Dan, overcome. Not *****. Overcome. Get over it. What is
ecstasy for a fleeting moment compared to eternal joy? Walk in the Light?
Or hide in shame for the nakedness?
Yeah, I know... I know... Who am I to talk? No one is holier than thou.
These are demons that we must fight and overcome. Having sex with the
Serpent was the downfall of Eve and having sex with Eve became the downfall
of mankind. To him who overcomes, paradise will be regained.
You're a scary dude.
Dani
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Dan" |
|
| Title: Re: In the beginning... |
24 Feb 2004 11:47:02 PM |
|
|
Thank you cesar, your words are wise, and full of it; In the
words of Chief Dan George, after he died in 1991, "I will
endeavour to persevere, and to not play with my
tallywhacker..eh?."
"cesar" <cesar@no.email> wrote in message
news:403c2594_2@127.0.0.1...
God, Dear God, oh God. Why, why, why have you created me so
weak?
[Pause] No reply.
O God, I want to be is master of my domain and not slave to my
beastly
desires.
[Pause] Still no reply.
Thank you Lord. You have just answered my question.
God works in mysterious ways. We, humans operate in devious
ways.
Do you whack off in broad daylight, openly like the chimps do?
No, you do
it hidden in darkness, in private. Why? Is it because you are
ashamed of
your nakedness? Is it because you don't think it is right to
be doing
that? If your answer is yes, then you are human. If your
answer is no,
then you are a like a beast. Therein the difference. One has
Conscience;
the other doesn't.
But, being human is being weak. Therein the challenge and the
battle with
one's demons.
3:5 He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white
raiment; and I
will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will
confess his
name before my Father, and before his angels.
3:21 To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my
throne, even
as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his
throne.
21:7 He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will
be his God,
and he shall be my son.
Overcome, Dan, overcome. Not *****. Overcome. Get over it.
What is
ecstasy for a fleeting moment compared to eternal joy? Walk
in the Light?
Or hide in shame for the nakedness?
Yeah, I know... I know... Who am I to talk? No one is holier
than thou.
These are demons that we must fight and overcome. Having sex
with the
Serpent was the downfall of Eve and having sex with Eve became
the downfall
of mankind. To him who overcomes, paradise will be regained.
cesar
"Dan" <twotrickpony@shaw.ca> wrote in message
news:6KN_b.612728$ts4.126601@pd7tw3no...
"Hyena" wrote;
Why all the 'Christian' objection?
Cloning seems to me to be 'following in the footsteps of
God'.
Was God not supposed to have said that he created man...'In
his
own
likeness?'
Why then should we not follow his example. That's what we
are
supposed
to do isn't it?...Follow His example?
Right up and until we start stepping on His Big Toes, trying
to
do His job for Him. He wants us to be as 'perfect' as He is,
not
as 'powerful', etc., and not to assume His role of 'creator',
'judge', 'executioner', etc.
To digress...I suppose a touch of incest is fine too. After
God
cloned
Eve from Adam, well the children of their union must have
united
sexually to produce the next generation. Oh yes, there must
have been
a fair bit of incest about in those days.
You are assuming again. But at least it's a good assumption.
I
too have wondered where Cain found his wife upon leaving
wherever
he was 'in the Lord's presence. Cain was Adam and Eve's first
child, Abel second. So where did these other people come
from?
"Cain and Abel"
1 Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and
gave
birth to Cain. She said, "With the help of the LORD I have
brought forth a man." 2 Later she gave birth to his brother
Abel.
<snip>
15 But the LORD said to him, "Not so ; if anyone kills Cain,
he
will suffer vengeance seven times over." Then the LORD put a
mark
on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him. 16 So
Cain
went out from the LORD's presence and lived in the land of
Nod,
east of Eden.
17 Cain lay with his wife, and she became pregnant and gave
birth
to Enoch. Cain was then building a city, and he named it
after
his son Enoch. 18 To Enoch was born Irad, and Irad was the
father
of Mehujael, and Mehujael was the father of Methushael, and
Methushael was the father of Lamech.
19 Lamech married two women, one named Adah and the other
Zillah.
20 Adah gave birth to Jabal; he was the father of those who
live
in tents and raise livestock. 21 His brother's name was
Jakov; he
was the father of all who play the skin flute, night and day,
constantly, eventually dwelling in the towns Sodom and
Gomorrah.
He never ended up begatting anyone, actually, he just played
his
damned skin flute all the livelong day, and night, until his
day
of reckoning from the LORD."
(Genesis 4:1-2;15-21 MIV)
The only way I could overcome this dilemma was to 'invent' a
theory. It goes something like this...
In the beginning, after God created the heavens and the
earth,
and the beasts of the field, fish, birds, etc., He patted
Himself
on His Back, and said, 'Not bad, eh?"
He then looked at the primates He made, and went 'Hmmmm....'
He
was especially intrigued with the chimpanzees scrambling
around,
and thought to Himself, 'Wouldn't it be cool to one day see
these
creatures evolve into something even more clever?'
So, he grabbed a female chimp, which He liked to call Eve
P4-238896, extracted one her ovum, took it back to His Big
Lab,
and played around with it. He then re-inserted that mutated
egg
back into Eve P4-238896, and allowed it to grow to term, and
be
born.
And so thus Cain P5-1 was born. Eve P4-238896, who would go
on to
become the stuff of chimp legends for centuries afterwards
due to
her giving birth despite not having 'been with a male
chimpanzee'
raised Cain P5-1 as her very own child, despite his rather
outsized head (which caused Eve P4-238896 no small amount of
consternation and physical pain during his birth, btw), and
his
bizarre habit of masturbating while erect, that is, standing
up
straight, and doing so more than any of his male chimp
buddies,
combined.
And God said, 'Well, he does at least have a big head, and
knows
how to use it well. Perhaps one day, these new creatures I
keep
creating will grow a head so big that they will stop that
thing
they keep doing with their tallywhackers.'
Fast forward some few million years, after the
Australopithecus,
Homo Erectus (figure that name out for yourself, like duh),
etc.
there came a time when there were two groups of proto-people
living on the earth, the Neanderthals and the Cro-Magnons.
Now, both 'species' had very, very big heads, which God saw,
and
was glad. But He also noticed that the Neanderthals, while
having
the slightly bigger head, and uglier I might add, masturbated
inordinately much more than their Cro-Magnon cousins.
So God caused all of the Neanderthals to become sterile, and
within 50 years or so, the entire species died out, leaving
only
the Cro-Magnons around to kill each other for a change.
And one day, after God got bored watching these hairy
proto-humans pound each other's skulls in, making the same
stupid
flintheads etc., He extracted an ovum from a female
Cro-Magnon he
nicknamed Eve P85-7899843, toyed around with it, and
eventually
Cain H1-1 was born, the first true Homo Sapiens (Wise Man).
And Cain H1-1, being very handsome in appearance in the eyes
of
the Cro-Magnon women he grew up with, was so busy 'knowing'
them
that he had no time to play with his John Thomas, even if he
wanted to.
Eventually, after Cain H1-1's progeny had filled up the world
for
a few millennia, God was ready to perform his 'coup de
grace',
and on October 10, 4004 BCE, He took a female Homo Sapiens,
extracted one of her ova, and this time, not only did he
mutate
it physically, He put His own 'likeness' into it, that is,
His
own 'Spirit'. Thus, the child, and all his progeny would pass
on
this 'likeness'.
Knowing the child needed protection from all the ever more
clever
skullcrushing Homo Sapiens in the world, He built a big
playpen
called Eden, and set cherubim with flashing swords and stuff
to
keep them out. And God raised Adam Himself, as Adam was half
Him.
This 'likeness', or 'soul', being of God's own 'essence', was
also by necessity just as immortal as God was. And He named
the
child Adam H2-1. And God was very, very proud of Adam,
despite
the fact that upon even before reaching adolescence, way
before,
he began showing the same disturbing tendency to touch
himself,
'down there', more than even the damned Neanderthals. Shaking
His
Grand Stately Head, God muttered to Himself, 'Sheesh...what
the
hell do I have to do to make them stop that?'
So, after watching Adam the teenager, having nobody around to
play with, whacking off day in day out, and starting to look
at
the female sheep in a bad, bad way, God said, 'We've got to
get
Adam H2-1 laid, and soon, I'm not sure if I can handle a
millennium of watching him do that.'
But instead of going outside the pen called Eden and getting
him
a girl to bring to Eden, he instead took one of his many
fresh
sperms lying all around on the ground, took it back to His
Big
Lab, and extracted its DNA, inserted it into a empty ovum
from
the outside stock, and, umm, put it back into the womb of
that
girl, whom He called Eve H1-34591166, who brought it to term,
and
gave birth to Eve H2-2, whom was grabbed by God immediately
upon
her birth, and placed in the pen called Eden.
The surrogate mother, incidentally wasn't entirely abandoned
by
God thereafter, in case you're wondering, but was compensated
handsomely, putting her up in a condominium in a city in the
northern part of Nod, which is east of Eden, and paying the
rent
up front for the next 500 months, the rest of her short life.
Anyhow, back in Eden, Adam didn't know what to make of this
little brat Eve H2-2, but helped God raise her until she grew
into an adolescent. After sprouting the predictable tits, the
curvy bottom and whatnot, Adam suddenly stopped looking at
the
sheep, and his incessant masturbating, and noticed Eve, for
what
she had become. And so Adam began to know Eve, and never
stopped
knowing her, yet without ever getting to understand her
nonetheless. He was happy enough to go about prancing naked
with
her in the Big Playpen called Eden. And God was glad.
Jumping to the end of the story, after Cain H2-3 had killed
his
brother Abel H2-4, and God kicking his ***** to the east of
Eden,
outside of the now decrepit and overgrown, untended Eden, he
met
up with the 'girl without an apparent name', from the Homo
Sapien
crowd, and passed on the 'likeness' (which he inherited from
his
parents, who inherited it from God) onto their children, and
so
on, and so forth.
Eventually, the entire planet became of the same 'likeness',
having the same 'essence' of God within themselves, having an
immortal soul.
Well, that's the way I figure it happened, anyhow. It works
for
me.
I wonder why it's considered so revolting and immoral now.
After all,
Christians who believe, must realise that we are all are
the
result of
an incestuous relationship.
I wonder why God didn't make a larger number of men and
women...to
avoid the problem. Still, I suppose he thought his special
apple more
important than all of this.
Hyena
You shouldn't think so much, Hyena. That's why God gave you a
Tallywhacker. That also works for me, who apparently has WAY
too
much time, not to mention other unmentionable 'stuff', on his
hands. I can't wait for this vacation to end so I can go back
to
work.
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