insert funny subject line here
+++
hmmm
+++
"where do i put th batteries ?"
+++
turn th music on paulei and shut th ***** up
+++
kevin bloody wilson
'ailments of the eighties'
+++
little brother is under
the land rover
tryin to put th
new auto
box back in
are land rovers a disease ?
+++
been to see my dealer
she was out
her husband looked after me but
+++
radiohead
'creep'(acapella)
+++
i spoke too soon
got dragged under it
to line it up
+++
hmm
dirty fingers paulie
"sorry"
+++
i've touched a land rover
i ned to smoek some drugs
to get th cooties off
scuse i
..
..
..
fuckin kiffy
wow
i found a solid bit
++
mik
'blues revenge'
+++
jebediah
'harpoon'
+++
hash pipe needs
cleaning
+++
"get to it jennifer"
i will
+++
wandered into th shop
by some durries and get change
to go to my dealers
had my hair up
isnt it fuckin humid ?
and she had trouble recognising me
"th blonde didnt have that trouble"
maybe i should of been wearin a shirt
+++
neither of th other two boys
at th kuta house
had a shirt on
+++
number one reason
for not having a sexchange
+++
comfort
+++
little cold is still buggin me
so i thought
another bag of weed
i wont give a *****
+++
had a ball on th net last night
found a pile of ***** and
it poured outside
"pissed down"
said it was a rain day
+++
supertramp
'the logical song'
+++
we've determined
most of th calls
from th indian call centres
take longer to come thru
all those exchanges
and we just hang up
before it connects
+++
wait five seconds
to listen to a voice
you can barely understand
yur voice coaching is umm
not working
+++
can you repeat that ?
i know yur speakin english i just
dont use any of th words yur usin
in normal conversation
+++
radiohead
'just'(you do it to yourself)
+++
if you fuckers would
stop buyin ***** off em
they;d stop callin
+++
its when
ya call a local institution
and get someone on another continent
there is no
local number
+++
well we know
how you feel about your customers
profit first
gotta keep th shareholders happy
wot an american concept
+++
aussies
dont
tend to
fill out
the customer satisfaction card
they thank you for a lovely meal
and tell all their friends th food is fucked and
and th place has american business principals
+++
budgie
'black velvet stallion'
+++
i.e.
none
+++
i'd turn on th tv
but i'd see an american
tv show
+++
is it
indoor budgie hunting time again ?
+++
th oz government
has shown great surprise
they didnt know those ppl were here
lots of things you dont know
keep tellin ya
i see seven days in advance
+++
my black magic man
"aboriginal witchdoctor"
rules
say i have to watch th borders
+++
and keep my magic bones
ready to point
at inturders
"that's intruders jenny"
they bee inturders when i get done with em
+++
someone in my tribe
chucked a wobblie at me
came clear across th ether
get a big black dog up ya
gave you seven days advance warning
of th last kuta beach bombing
you are a dead *****
+++
i apologize for
only givin one day's warning
to th massive earthqauke
under pakistan
i was a bit ***** up
after we aussies contributed so much
to aceh after th tsunami
and th cunts still bombed us
+++
tenacious d
'hard fucking'
+++
shakespears sister
'you're history'(voodoo mix)
+++
it was a bit
ofay
askin my god
th day before yur big earthquake
to look into
islamic terrorist cunts problem
th very soul of th problem
a week after
the second kuta beach bombing
i claim
it was cause
my religion is
kuta
still tried to warn ya
did it fuckin public
+++
fair bit of voodoo lives in this magic book
+++
the land surfer
pronounced
the kadeecha man of australia
witchdoctor to you and i
worships his land as his god
we are one
+++
"elizabeth shake a spear"
"my twin sister"
"how are you ?"
good thanks kuta man
+++
the aboriginals stand up at last
+++
so smiling one
still smiling ?
+++
when i point th bone
dumb humans
think their
mass murdering christian god
has come back to life
+++
city high
'what would you do'
+++
like i care
+++
maybe i'm just a shitstirring psychic
and i like
feeling ppl ***** their pants
+++
if i got listened to
a bit more
i
would be less
nasty about predicting th future
+++
queen elizabeth of great britain
i explained
i'm a super psychic who write th future
up to you to read it
most things i get
seven days before they happen
and mostly in opposites
i did
say a week before
june 30
i will declare war on you
july one
july seven
th terrorists gave you some bother
+++
nirvana
'oh me'
+++
..
..
..
will smith
'switch'
+++
got dragged away
guidin th auto magic box
into the land rover
oil all over my back now
+++
we did th
arcane
lplacing of tstraps
her eand there
to rotate th box and
give us some
fleixibility
+++
jewel
'grey matter'(live)
+++
so let me get this straight
you want me to lean in
from th top
pick th box up
there
and
roll it over
and chock it
lucky i;m flexible
+++
th drizzle
just sprinkling in
from outside
like a damp mist
and bits of th land rover
everywhere underfoot
makes sense
+++
hope this box works a bit longer than th last one
awful sick of
layin under a land rover
+++
i continue to watch my borders
i dont trust
our intelligence services
i do trust my forward vision
+++
frank black
'superabound'
+++
the tracker
is on telly tonight
some of us
black trackers
are gifted
can track thru water
anywhere
maybe we're psychic
+++
ya never asked
+++
just assumed
+++
quick
kill the medicine man
our magic is stonger than
yours
+++
"lead poisoning hurts"
ya have to inject it quicker
big fuckin gun
+++
shakespears sister
'catwoman'
+++
just didnt kill em all hey twin psychic brother
+++
"elizabeth shake a spear"
+++
is a big spear hey paulie ?
+++
"well we aussies have a reputation"
"we dont ***** around"
+++
we still a bit attached to
mother england
even us black aussies
musta been all that
swearin of allegiance
back in school
+++
if i can be of
service again
madam
+++
the oracle of kuta
unfolds from her/his ball
and ponders th auto erotica concept
as practised by
th egyptian religions
+++
kevin bloody wilson
'country bumpkin'
+++
so i wandered into this village
and told em
i ask my god
pls god
give us a sign
of your interest in this matter
and we all went to bed
and woke up th next morning
to find
70 00 ppl dead
from th ground
shaking
the hand of god
has spoken
and all th villagers did ***** their pants
and write in their diaries
of th might of the lord
+++
i pulled my copy of
the reluctant messiah out of my pocket
and smiled
+++
now if didnt look
quite so much liek jesus
i'd probly feel
much more comfortable
+++
pink floyd
'time'
+++
time
is not as hard to crack
as it at first appears
+++
you must remember
that there is balance in
all things
+++
i ride my two foot unicycle
in a foot deep of water
th peasants say
i walk on th water
+++
if th future
is being seen
in the past
it reverses
+++
we gloss over th past
and th history
writers
put their spin on everything
+++
i write th future
my task
from my religion
it is not my task
to read it
so wherever possible
i leave as it comes to me
and declare war on my friends
when i'm tryin to tell them
you face grave
danger
my true
friends
understand me
+++
i dont offer you a treaty
but i dont offer you war
one weird mob
+++
the australian spirit
infects it's inhabitants
+++
let me deal with th terrorists
i'll make em
***** their pants
+++
"ok toecutter"
"we get th idea"
+++
i've been dead
dyin is easy
all th pain stops
when th heart stops
+++
jewel
'this way'
+++
i'm not jesus's brother
sabrina
i apologise
+++
roll in th driveway
in my little silver hatch
why so sad
beautiful lady
hose in your hand and
gunna wash yur car
cant find yur
car sponge
as it happens
i bought one on th way here
wondered what i was going to give you
as a gift
thought i'd done something silly
it's layin under th unicycles
in th back
here ya go
wanna wash mine when yur done
oh you'll help me
ok
th wizard does you beautiful magic and you
show yur appreciation by
just givin me a huge shiteating grin
i guess yur pretty enough
+++
the red hot chilli peppers
'road trippin'
+++
ya cant charge for magic
ya wouldnt get it
if ya had that
prostitue my art
logic
+++
i can teach you though
+++
just one thing
very very few
of you
have testicles liek mine
that ache every day
the wizard's
blue balls curse
from livin in a world with women
and their pheremones
i am a savage
with a real curse
and real magic
+++
the source of my
power
+++
my tribe
make certain demands off me
mostly
i'm psychic enough to
read their thoughts
but i too
live in th modern world
and watch th world news
+++
do re mi
'100 mouths'
+++
from th album
domestic harmony
+++
my brother
loves to read his phantom comics
whiel trying to create a sizzler manager
in th toilet
i write my chronicles
for my descendants
and myself
whiel pondering
the old black magic man
who th phantom turns to
when he wants to read
the future
+++
you can know th future
can you change what you see ?
+++
powderfinger
'roll right by you'
+++
i cried
my guts out
when i couldnt stop my mate
being decapitated
on his next ride
i never
tell a man not to ride his bike
it's his life
how could
seing his death
affect me so
profoundly
cryin with th
uncertainty of it
at th fuckin pub
in a pack of motorcyclists
i leave th pub
feeling disgraced
an hour later
part of th pack
is parked on my lawn
outside my flat's window
"he lost his head on a guard rail paulie"
"is yur stomach still churning ?"
"here smoke this"
"he was my friend too"
thanks george
+++
the black eyed peas
'the boogie that be'
+++
havin a bad hair day
"insert coffee and cones"
..
..
..
it's boofie hair weather
..
..
..
th cramps were so bad
just thinkin about it
i need to take drugs
..
..
..
felt liek my girlfriend's
period cramps
+++
kirsten would
sit next to me
on th couch
after a good hard soccer game
ok favourite daughter
why you
wantin to sit next to dad
rubbin yur shins and a sly smile on yur face
oh ok
now i've got em
and you havent
time to open my mouth dear
get thee th hell away form me
go and have a bath
gettin em to suck th pain
just transfers th
signals
doesnt
fix anything
you dig sweetheart ?
it feels pretty savage today
i never get shin splints
poor thing
get a pain pill off yur mum
and i'll run ya a nice hot bath
no i wont grab it first
and i'll shanghai th young fella
if he comes runnin in th door
ya know he's psychic
can hear th water runnin
from three houses away
<<<smiel >>>
+++
garbage
'androgeny'
+++
my androgenous daughter
+++
you gave me much trouble
when yur mother and i were first screwin
so sensitive
psychic like yur mother and
if we started goin over th edge
no matter how little noise
you'd sleepwalk
and walk into our fuckin bedroom door
was exasperating
till we found
buffers
you couldnt read us thru
so we didnt disturb yur sleep
we screwed in th shower
for three months
then discovered
if we smoked pot
you wouldnt disturb us
when we went
tantric sex
+++
"and vice versa"
+++
it really harmed our relationship
and elizabeth had already been thru th
callin me
when i masturbated about her
+++
royksopp
'kings of convenience-i dont know what i can save you from'(remix)
+++
i'm still recovering
+++
"i do know"
"what i can save you from"
"first though"
"you have to be listening"
"i've listened to ppl liek you"
"And ppl like you"
"do nothing"
+++
we met
and both went operant on th spot
trapped in th US mind
them and us became a haunting song
we both clamoured for freedom
i cant get out of here
+++
psychic love sex was
absolute dissolution
and we both
so fucked up with
where am i in this
is there no
free will
we screamed
+++
pink floyd
'sheep'
+++
we made love
one quiet afternoon
both feeling led
like
sheep
lost
a countless number of
mindlblowing orgasms later
i came
with th name
andrew
coming out of my lips
i felt you pass
this day
you are born
you express no surprise
not acceptance
screamin at yur fate
you have a son
his name is andrew
he has culry hair liek mine
but
fairer
more blonde
liek my mother when she was young
i see him
round age four
crying
but
mixed up
with
me at an airport
cryin
at same age
wot day ?
you ask much dear
didnt you already ask
for a son
monday
at three
and behold
born
on a monday at three
a boy
curlie blonde hair
same as his fathers
and
age four and half
you locked him in his bedroom
and told me to get out of your house
then told th cops i
locked you
in yur bedroom
got you a police protection order
on me
somethin troublin yur conscience ?
i'v never seen im since
+++
dont ***** with th wizard
i have a long memory
+++
the lord is my shepard
i shall not want
he maketh me
ride my unicycle
thru nightclubbing crowds
and sing on street corners
he maketh me
tell th future
by writing truth
the catch ?
is difficult to read
till after th fact
he maketh me
to confuse
those that seek
to read th future from my words
he gives me th strength
to write truth
+++
ancient magic land
i ask nothing more
than to have th priviledge
to live and die on yur soil
i thank you
from the blackest part of my soul
+++
the
jet black
labrador
jumped all over me
tryin to lick me death
we're trtint o put th landie
bak together
give me a break girl
+++
jewel
'i wont walk away'
+++
cant
i'm an aboriginal warrior
..
..
..
elizabeth shake a spear
+++
p.s.
i'm not a dumb *****
i know it takes less
energy
to ride a uncicyle
as personal transport
than walking
i cover more ground
and i'm a reverend
+++
animal with th most
energy efficient form of
locomotion
the kangaroo
i umm
beg to differ
human australian aboriginal witchdoctor
on a unicycle
get yur facts straight
+++
be fucked
i'm smarter than brother roo
+++
i wouldnt walk away
i'd be fuckin rolling
falling off th front of a
flywheel
that stores inertia
and you think im th clown
<<<smiel>>>
+++
i love being
100% wrong
cause i read
drirk gentlys
holistic
detective agancey
+++
coldplay
'the scientist'
+++
make way
mad half dutch
scientist
at work
+++
beware
this book is magic
+++
occasionally it bites
bit liek reality really
+++
read it any way ya fuckin want
what do YOU believe ?
+++
oh i believe
this band of
nomads in th desert
couple of thousand years ago
got everything right
even though
i''m totally
with th
status quo
+++
i dont know if god exists
i think of god
as
everything
everywhere
everywhen
and th everywhen intrigues th hell out of me
i write to th future
and it writes back
i cant always read
what i've written
neither can you
but
i'm gettin better at it
+++
the monkees
'im a believer'
+++
***** what you think
i have enough trouble with what i think
im already stoned ok
+++
i live in a self made hovel
i figure i deserve to
i can see th future
+++
too much sometimes
i asked for it
i got it
just like elizabeth with her magic son
do th car doorlocks
go up and down by emselves dear
when he's in a bad mood
th wizard would liek to know
if this one bred true
+++
tenacious d
'tribute'
+++
i dedicate my book
the book of paulie
of the stoners bible
of the religion of kuta
to my son
andrew
..
..
..
one of many...
.
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