March 29, 2005
News that the 'Rapture' Has Come and Gone Alarms Many Christians
What if the 'Rapture' happened but you were left behind? That's what
millions of Christians are wondering amid mounting evidence that the
Rapture, the much-anticipated event in which God summons his faithful to
the heavens, may have happened earlier this month. Among the startled
'still here': House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, just one of the political
leaders who had expected to be making the trek skyward.


From Capitol Hill to Kansas, finger pointing and questioning: 'why are we
still here?'

By Deanna Swift

WASHINGTON, DC--When House Majority Leader Tom DeLay delivered a moving
speech from the halls of Congress last week, in which he argued that his
political enemies are persecuting him because of his religious faith,
there was just one problem: he wasn't supposed to be there. Earlier this
month, say observers, the 'Rapture,' the much-anticipated event in which
God summons his faithful to the heavens, finally happened.

But instead of Mr. DeLay and millions of other believers making the
skyward trek, the biblical bash appears to have been an exclusive,
invitation-only affair. As of today, fewer than three dozen Christians

confirmed to have been 'raptured,' leaving their rejected brethren to

with seven years of Tribulation, a turbulent period marked by the return
of the anti-Christ.

For those who had hoped to be cashing in on their heavenly rewards, these
are days of soul searching and regret. From Capitol Hill to the
mega-churches of the south, disappointed travelers are asking the same
questions: 'Why not me?' 'What did I do wrong?' and 'Was it something I
said?'

The lucky few
David Dumé, originally of Spring Hill, KS, appears to be among the lucky
few who are currently enjoying the company of the world's most famous
father. Mr. Dumé, who had recently returned to Kansas from Hollywood,
where he enjoyed a short but lucrative career in adult-themed films, was
expected to attend a potluck supper and informal prayer session at the
Spring Hill Baptist Church-but disappeared from site just minutes after
reaching the building.

Stunned onlookers say that they watched aghast as Mr. Dumé "flew up
through the ceiling," leaving a pile of clothing, gold jewelry, an
outsized diamond-covered crucifix, and several piercings and chains
behind. Experts say that the fact that Mr. Dumé and others cast off such
earthly accoutrements is another sure sign that they were indeed

And the not-so-lucky
The pastor of the church, Roy DeLong, who is also an active supporter of
conservative political causes including a constitutional ban on gay
marriage and private Social Security accounts, says that he is personally
shocked that Mr. Dumé was chosen to make the trip, while he and so many
other more faithful believers remain behind. "He was not even a regular
presence around here, that's what's so startling. I don't want to say

mistakes were made, but you really have to wonder about the selection
process here," says Pastor DeLong.

DeLong, who also heads up the Baptist Leadership Council, will join other
prominent Christian leaders, including the Reverends Tim Lahaye, James
Dobson and Franklin Graham, for an emergency meeting later this week. "At
this point, we're concluding that this was probably a practice round
before the real deal," says Pastor DeLong. "That's the only way this

any sense. He left behind all of the wrong people. Why would He do that?"

The right-left behind
Meanwhile, no one appears to have made the trip upwards from Capitol

Beltway observers had speculated that dozens of high-profile leaders,
including President Bush and Representative DeLay, would be raptured,
possibly setting off a complex battle over succession within the halls of
power.

So certain were these men that their earthly tenure was coming to an end,
say sources, that they scheduled a lengthy break over the Easter weekend.
While Stewart Roy, a spokesman for Mr. DeLay, refused to acknowledge that
the House Majority Leader has indeed been left behind, he did confirm

the Texas representative is taking some much-needed time off. "Let's just
say that there are some unexpected openings in his schedule. I'm not

to say anything more than that."

Deanna Swift can be reached at

which offered believers the opportunity to write pre-Rapture letters that
would be sent to family and friends after they were snatched up by God.

;-P

March 29, 2005
News that the 'Rapture' Has Come and Gone Alarms Many Christians
What if the 'Rapture' happened but you were left behind? That's what
millions of Christians are wondering amid mounting evidence that the
Rapture, the much-anticipated event in which God summons his faithful to
the heavens, may have happened earlier this month. Among the startled
'still here': House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, just one of the political
leaders who had expected to be making the trek skyward.

From Capitol Hill to Kansas, finger pointing and questioning: 'why are we
still here?'

By Deanna Swift

WASHINGTON, DC--When House Majority Leader Tom DeLay delivered a moving
speech from the halls of Congress last week, in which he argued that his
political enemies are persecuting him because of his religious faith,
there was just one problem: he wasn't supposed to be there. Earlier this
month, say observers, the 'Rapture,' the much-anticipated event in which
God summons his faithful to the heavens, finally happened.

But instead of Mr. DeLay and millions of other believers making the
skyward trek, the biblical bash appears to have been an exclusive,
invitation-only affair. As of today, fewer than three dozen Christians are
confirmed to have been 'raptured,' leaving their rejected brethren to deal
with seven years of Tribulation, a turbulent period marked by the return
of the anti-Christ.

For those who had hoped to be cashing in on their heavenly rewards, these
are days of soul searching and regret. From Capitol Hill to the
mega-churches of the south, disappointed travelers are asking the same
questions: 'Why not me?' 'What did I do wrong?' and 'Was it something I
said?'

The lucky few
David Dumé, originally of Spring Hill, KS, appears to be among the lucky
few who are currently enjoying the company of the world's most famous
father. Mr. Dumé, who had recently returned to Kansas from Hollywood,
where he enjoyed a short but lucrative career in adult-themed films, was
expected to attend a potluck supper and informal prayer session at the
Spring Hill Baptist Church-but disappeared from site just minutes after
reaching the building.

Stunned onlookers say that they watched aghast as Mr. Dumé "flew up
through the ceiling," leaving a pile of clothing, gold jewelry, an
outsized diamond-covered crucifix, and several piercings and chains
behind. Experts say that the fact that Mr. Dumé and others cast off such
earthly accoutrements is another sure sign that they were indeed raptured.

And the not-so-lucky
The pastor of the church, Roy DeLong, who is also an active supporter of
conservative political causes including a constitutional ban on gay
marriage and private Social Security accounts, says that he is personally
shocked that Mr. Dumé was chosen to make the trip, while he and so many
other more faithful believers remain behind. "He was not even a regular
presence around here, that's what's so startling. I don't want to say that
mistakes were made, but you really have to wonder about the selection
process here," says Pastor DeLong.

DeLong, who also heads up the Baptist Leadership Council, will join other
prominent Christian leaders, including the Reverends Tim Lahaye, James
Dobson and Franklin Graham, for an emergency meeting later this week. "At
this point, we're concluding that this was probably a practice round
before the real deal," says Pastor DeLong. "That's the only way this makes
any sense. He left behind all of the wrong people. Why would He do that?"

The right-left behind
Meanwhile, no one appears to have made the trip upwards from Capitol Hill.
Beltway observers had speculated that dozens of high-profile leaders,
including President Bush and Representative DeLay, would be raptured,
possibly setting off a complex battle over succession within the halls of
power.

So certain were these men that their earthly tenure was coming to an end,
say sources, that they scheduled a lengthy break over the Easter weekend.
While Stewart Roy, a spokesman for Mr. DeLay, refused to acknowledge that
the House Majority Leader has indeed been left behind, he did confirm that
the Texas representative is taking some much-needed time off. "Let's just
say that there are some unexpected openings in his schedule. I'm not going
to say anything more than that."

Deanna Swift can be reached at