On Sat, 07 Jul 2007, Aticineto <Aticin...@aol.com> wrote:

Greetings all,

I am new to this group, and I have been dealing with conflicting
emotions ofr the past two weeks, and I hope you can give me some
spiritual guidance.

You've probably heard about the sad case of wrestler Chris Benoit, how
murdered his wife Nancy and his 7 year old son Daniel before taking
his own life. My greatest sympathy, of course is for Nancy and
Daniel, they were innocent victims, and definitely did not deserve to
die as they did. Still, I can't help but feel a little sad for Chris
as well.

First, a little about myself so I can give you an idea of where i am
coming from. I am 43 years old, legally blind, and I have been a
wrestling fan for 31 years. In school, I was always the kid that the
others made fun of. As an adult, you learn to manage and deal with a
disability, and when you are a kid, you hate anything that makes you
different. While at a friend's house one day (back in 1976), he had
wrestling on, and I was taken buy the individuality of the sport. It
was a world where it was okay to be different, and hardly anyone had
the body builder, steroid induced look you see in wrestling today.
The business was different too - it gave the illusion of a competitive
sport, rather than the over the top choreographed )and dangerous)
moves they perform today.

One story that stuck me back then was that of a wrestler named Bobby
Shane, who died in a plane crash in 1975. Just something about his
story moved me, and I carried it with me into adulthood. In 2002, I
wrote a story about him, and took my first ever plane trip, a trip in
honor of Bobby's memory, to his hometown of St. Louis. There i met
his uncle Larry, and despite a gap in our ages (Larry is 36 years
older than me), he has become the best friend I have ever had. . I
also attend an annual reunion of retired wrestlers, (where last year,
I accepted a posthumous award for Bobby Shane on behalf of his
family). So, in a very real way, wrestling has been a very important
part of my life, and, in a small way, i am a part of that world.
Again, it is a vastly different world than the current wreslting (the
WWE), which I watch from time to time, but i am not a huge fan of.

Chris Benoit was a wrestler that most of us old-time fans admired. He
wrestled in a style that was reminiscent to the heroes of our youth.
He was pretty much a low key wrestler, and we never heard much about
his life away from the ring.

On Monday, June 25, I, like many fans, learned that Benoit and his
family were found dead. In those initial hours, we had very little
information. We thought maybe carbon monoxide poisoning, or something
to that
effect. We mourned Chris Benoit that evening, but our shock turned to
horror as it was revealed that ti was a double murder/suicide. It
seemed so out of character for Benoit to do this, but, of course, we
only knew the man we saw at the arena and on television, we didn't
know him on a personal level.

There are many theories flying around, people trying to explain why he
did what he did. In my case, I am not trying to make excuses for
Chris Benoit, rather, I am trying to understand it all. I've never
known anyone who was killed, anyone who murdered anyone, or committed
suicide. Because of my connection with wrestling (through Bobby Shane
and the wrestling reunion i attend as well), I feel like I almost knew
Benoit by default - we were a part of wrestling, though in very
different ways. And since all this came out, I am trying to come to
grips with it and make some kind of sense of what happened.

There have been many friends of Benoit's who have stated on the news
shows what a kind and gentle guy he was. They don't understand how
he could have done this. Two video clips stand out in my mind - one
of him sobbing uncontrollably at the tribute to his best friend -
fellow wrestler Eddie Guerero - who died two years ago. The other is
of Benoit winning the world title at WrestleMania. Nancy and Daniel
came into the ring to celebrate with him, and Chris hugs and kisses
Daniel. It is such a tender moment, you would never believe in a
million years that Benoit would harm a hair on the boy's head, much
less murder him.

Then, there is the dark side of Chris Benoit. The one that Nancy
filed for divorce from in 2003 and got an order of protection
against. For whatever reason, Nancy decided to reconcile with him,
but by some accounts, their relationship remained rocky.

The theory that seems to be pretty much accepted right now is that
Nancy was planning to leave Chris for good. Instead of getting away
safely while he was on the road, she (courageously) waited to tell him
face to face, and he was enraged and killed her, and then he killed
their son the next day, and himself the day after that, and he left
bibles by Nancy and Daniel's bodies (can you tell me what the
reasoning for that may be. I'm assuming that was his way of praying
for them perhaps?). If this is indeed how it happened, it is
horrifying to say the least. As stated above, neither Nancy nor
Daniel deserved to die like that. I am a man of faith, so I believe
that they are with our Lord now and are in a much better place, but
that still doesn't ease the pain of their family and friends.

I look at a picture of Chris Benoit and I ask "why? Not as a
wrestling fan wanting to know why a great wrestler destroyed his
legacy, but why a man who had more than most people chose to do the
unthinkable. He and Nancy had a stormy marriage form the start, but
she loved him. After his friend Eddie Guererro died, she bought him a
journal to record his thoughts and to work his way through his grief.
How or why did he lash out at a woman who loved him, and tried to
stick by him? Sometime we do lash out most at the people who love us
the most. It just makes no sense.

I pray for Nancy and Daniel, but my sadness for Chris makes me pray
for him as well. Jesus said that for God, all things are possible,
and I do pray that if there was ever any good in Chris Benoit, that he
found salvation despite his acts.

Before all this, I saw things in black and white terms. A murderer
was a murderer, and I thought it was foolish to try to understand why
someone would kill. But now, I am the one looking to understand it, I
see articles where he is called a child killer, and it breaks my heart
that that's his legacy.

So I ask you, is it misguided of me to have such sympathy (sadness,
compassion) for a man who committed such a horrible act? I know he is
not the victim here (and believe me, I have sadness for the victims),
but I sadness for him as well.

Thank you for your time,

Sincerely,

Alfred T

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----

You sound sincere, so I'll attempt to help you to answer your own
question, because all the real answers are within you, so it's up
to you to discover these answers for yourself...

Remember this, all men are Created equal, and all mortal men are
born in sin. Each one of us are born with more than enough bad
karma to go around for everybody. We are essentially born to die,
and of whatever cause, and at whatever age, whether in childhood
or adulthood, by the revolutions of the heavens, as foreordained.

The best way to conquer grief is to conquer--rather master--your
own ego-self. The more love and attention you direct toward God,
and therefore direct toward your fellow human beings, the better
off you'll be. This frail, mortal, human body could die tomorrow,
but our immortal soul-body is eternal, having no beginning, and
no ending. Your spirit-person, your soul, is immortal, as are the
immortal souls of all higher vertebrates (ever-developing souls).

In conclusion, try to help others, including those temporarily-
discarnate souls who're grounded in Limbo,

You sound sincere, so I'll attempt to