leigh8bee@optusnet.com.au
(Leigh Bee) wrote:

Do not know if you have seen this one
but it made me laugh. :}

It made me too! LOL! :)

I can relate to more than a few of them.

I even added my own version (below).

Delia's Way 1. Stuff a miniature
marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar
cone to prevent ice cream drips.

The Real Woman's Way: Just suck the
ice cream out of the bottom of the cone,
for God's sake. You are probably lying
on the couch with your feet up eating it
anyway.

sUSAns way:

Why not *straight* out of the carton!

Delia's Way 2. To keep potatoes from
budding, place an apple in the bag with
the potatoes.

The Real Woman's Way: Buy DEB
potato mix and keep it in the pantry for
up to a year.

sUSAn's way:

Throw some peel and a sprout or two in the instant spuds. Nobody will
believe you didn't make them from scratch.

Delia's Way 3. When a cake recipe
calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit
of the dry cake mix instead, and there
won't be any white mess on the outside
of the cake.

The Real Woman's Way: Coles sell
cakes. They even do decorated
versions.

And then sprinkle white flour on the Cole's cake and everybody will
believe you baked it yourself.

Delia's Way 4. If you accidentally
over-salt a dish while it's still cooking,
drop in a potato slice.

The Real Woman's Way: If you over
salt a dish whilst cooking, that's tough
sh*t. Please recite with me the Real
Woman's motto: I made it and you WILL
eat it, however bad it tastes.

sUSAn's way:

Throw chili pepper in your dinner guests eyes. It will neutralize the
salt. ;)

In America, there is this saying: "This is
not Burger King.... either you have it *my* way, or you *don't* get the
son of a b!tch at all!"

Delia's Way 5. Wrap celery in
aluminium foil when putting it in the
refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

The Real Woman's Way: It could keep
forever. Who eats it?

sUSAn's way:

Throw some dirt on the celery before you wrap it in the aluminum foil.
It will multiply for weeks!

Delia's Way 6. Brush some beaten egg
white over pie crust before baking to
yield beautiful glossy finish.

The Real Woman's Way: Coles frozen
pie directions do not include brushing
any egg white over the crust, so I don't
do that.

Use strawberry lip gloss instead...It will hide the freezer-burnt taste
of the crust as well as make it shiney.

Delia's Way 7. Cure for headaches.
Take a lime, cut it in half, and rub it on
your forehead. The throbbing will go
away.

The Real Woman's Way: Cure for
headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and
drop it in 8 ounces of Tequila. Drink it.
You might still have the headache, but
who gives a sh*t?

I'd just like to add...repeat dosage every 4 hours as needed.

Delia's Way 8. If you have a problem
opening jars, try using latex
dishwashing gloves. They give a non
slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

The Real Woman's Way: What's the
point of blokes then?

Good point. Real women can open the jars themselves if they really
wanted.

AND FINALLY, the most important tip -

Delia's Way 9. Freeze leftover wine into
ice cubes for future use in casseroles
and sauces.

The Real Woman's Way: Leftover
wine ?????

Peter Frampton's way:

WHO'S wine?

WHAT wine?

WHERE the hill did I dine?

;)

sUSAn