"yyyiiinnnggg" <yyyiiinnnggg@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:chn2mg$if7$0@pita.alt.net...
"Friendly Neighbourhood Vote Wrangler" <gadfly@NOSPAMmeow.org> wrote in
message news:chmsg8$rqi$1@blackhelicopter.databasix.com...
The time has come to announce the results of the August 2004 Usenet
Kook Awards.
*ahem*
What's that ahem for? On the surface, this award seems to be a fine
tradition for a laugh. Below the surface, some people actually get hurt.
The
fact some people are laughing this matter make it worse, should you be a
victim of this kook-run kook-election.
I want to change the rules of this game by adding a clause that anyone who
openly declines the opportunity to be elected should be left alone. This
would clearly divide the candidates in two groups: those who would
participate and accept the rules of the game and those who want have
nothing
to do with this kook-run kook-election.
How am I going to change it? For the first a few months from now on, I
will
mainly intimidate the FNVW and stronge activists of such election while
loppying my idea, pointing out kooks' moral deficiency, poking their
psychiatrical defects. When the time is right, I want to run a parallel
election and call it an extended kook award, which means my count of the
votes will include those FNVW counts plus those FNVW didn't count due to
his
petty requirements and his fuket discretion. If you are an average voter,
this shouldn't affect you. If you think I am doing this for my own profit
or
fame, please take the leadership. I will be your most dedicated assistant.
Please consider this, dear voters, the reason a lot of good people come to
the net was initially for information sharing and idea exchanges. For the
past two years this kook-run kook-election had caused widespread
disrespect
on the Usenet. It seems nothing would have stopped it. Before governments
could take this chaos for excuse in excercise their desired greater
control
over freedom of speach, we as the community should act within our
concience,
within our own powers to encourage what's beneficial for most of us and
contain what's unhealthy for the common. If we do this, then we do this to
pronography on the net, collectively we are re-inventing the internet. Can
you imagine you will tell your children you did this for humanity?
Please don't think I am just another kook. I am not.
yyyiiinnnggg@yahoo.com
BOBO AWARD
----------
The winner is... STEVEN EARL COTTINGHAM!
Yes . . 30
No . . 3
Congratulations, AnthraxMan! Don't forget to come back and make an
acceptance speech if you're ever released from custody. Just don't try
to sell us any Nazi Chess sets next time, OK?
KOOK OF THE MONTH
-----------------
The winner is... STEPHEN P VANIER!
Stephen P Vanier . . . . . . . . 20
Pamela K "MYopinion" Russell . . 16
Linda Gore . . . . . . . . . . . 8
Kavik Kang . . . . . . . . . . . 2
none of the above . . . . . . . 0
Congratulations, Veneer! There were four fine candidates this month,
but there can be only one winner. Maybe the others need to drink more
varnish?
CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
----------------------------
The winner is... CHARLES D BOHNE!
Charles D Bohne . . . . . . . . 24
Lombo243 . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
Mark S "SOHO Solutions" Brey . . 4
none of the above . . . . . . . 9
Well done, Chuckwheat! I hope your ISP's "rules" allow you to see this
post.
COWARD OF THE MONTH
-------------------
The winner is... PIETRO SOMMAVILLA!
Yes . . 36
No . . 2
Congratulations, Pietie! Do you hide under your bed whenever the
postman rings?
GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
------------------------------
The winner is... GORDON ROY "RAY GORDON" PARKER!
Yes . . 35
No . . 2
Congratulations, Ray! Have you ever considered suing God for making
you so kooky?
JOSEPH BARTLO "PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE" AWARD
---------------------------------------------
The winner is... JOSEPH BARTLO!
Yes . . 44
No . . 1
Well done, Foamy! It's been over a year since anybody got so many
votes for *anything*. It looks as if you're making this award your
speciality for some reason.
PALMJOB PADDLE
--------------
The winner is... RUSSELL B WATERS!
Russell B Waters . . 21
Will Dockery . . . . 4
none of the above . . 10
Congratulations, PizzaKKKook! It's nice to see that you've returned to
be spanked yet again.
PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
--------------------------------------------
The winner is... JIMMY SNIBBLER!
Jimmy Snibbler, aka "NCS" . . 15
Jade, aka "Cosmola" . . . . . 13
none of the above . . . . . . 12
Congratulations on a highly entertaining troll, Mr Snibbler! May your
hook never run short of bait.
VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN "WEIRD SCIENCE" AWARD
---------------------------------------------
The winner is... CHARLES D BOHNE!
Charles D Bohne . . . 22
Kavik Kang . . . . . 11
none of the above . . 7
Nice work, Bohnehead! Did you remember to travel ahead in time to bet
on this result?
BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
---------------------
Foam Duck #8 is awarded to... LYNNE "HOOFPRINTS" LYONS!
Yes . . 37
No . . 1
Well done, Goofy! Please don't try to do to your foam duck what you do
to the poor horsies.
BUSTED URINAL AWARD
-------------------
The winners are... THE MICHAEL JACKSON FANS!
Fans of Michael Jackson in AMM-J . . 28
Russell B Waters . . . . . . . . . . 8
Donald L Ferrt . . . . . . . . . . . 7
none of the above . . . . . . . . . 1
Congratulations to the Wack-Pack! Collectively you've created such a
stench that we've had to install air-purifiers in the Cabal fleet of
Rolls Royces [tincforr].
GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER "KICKED @$$" AWARD
------------------------------------------
The winner is... PIETRO SOMMAVILLA!
Pietro Sommavilla . . 18
Stephen P Vanier . . 15
none of the above . . 8
Congratulations again, Virus Pie! I'm looking forward to seeing you
explain how this result is somehow a victory.
ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
-----------------------------
The winner is... LINDA GORE!
Yes . . 35
No . . 0
Well done, Linda! Many people have a sock drawer, but you need a
warehouse to store yours.
UNABOMBER SURPRISE
------------------
The winner is... ILYA SHAMBAT!
Yes . . 34
No . . 3
Congratulations, Spambat! Has anybody *ever* read any of your screed
all the way through?
HAMMER OF THOR
--------------
The winner is... DR.POSTMAN!
Yes . . 42
No . . 0
A unanimous win for a mighty kookologist, and with a huge number of
votes! All hale DrPostman! He hace much grateness!
OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
-----------------------
The winner is... JOSEPH BARTLO!
Joseph Bartlo . . . . . . . . . 28
Pamela K "MYopinion" Russell . . 17
Foamy confirms once again that nobody's quite as idiotic as the
Psocono Psest!
SAEED AL-SAHHAF MEMORIAL OFFICE OF KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
-------------------------------------------------------------
The winner is... ALEXA CAMERON!
Alexa Cameron . . 34
Joseph Bartlo . . 10
Congratulations on proving that even Foamy isn't invincible, Alexa! By
the way, I've told the aliens about the disinformation you're
spreading about them, and they're not pleased. If you see any strange
lights in the sky, *run*.
This concludes the results of the August 2004 ballot. Fifty ballot
papers were received and all were accepted as valid. Until October
1st, farewell, and may "Bob" preserve you all!
--
alt.usenet.kooks award-winners and FAQs:
http://www.insurgent.org/~kook-faq/
(Remove NOSPAM to reply.)
.
