Satan ate my brain
22/06/2004 11:50 - (SA)
Chris Roper
Every day, I read the stories on 12 of the top news sites across the
world.
Starting with News24, of course. And every day, I'm amazed anew at some of
the drivel that reporters are forced to report on.
Number one on my list this week: the tendency of journalists and police
officials to cry "Satan!" every time they come across a crime involving an
over-sexed, pimply adolescent with a candle fetish and a bad taste in
music.
My current example comes from the sad story of a woman who hanged herself,
or was hanged, from a tree in the Magaliesberg on Thursday. She was found
on Saturday by a family out for a walk. Or, as the reporter describes it,
"An attractive young woman hanging from a tree, a nylon rope around her
neck. This was the horrific find of a family".
Now I'm sorry to point this out to journalist Ms Cindy Zeilhofer of the
Pretoria News, but - what kind of sick person finds a three-day old body
attractive? And as far as I know, with the possible exception of certain
relationships formed with Piet Koornhof in the 90s, necrophilia is illegal
in this country.
'Newsworthy'
We all know the answer to this one." Wrinkled old granny hanging from a
tree" isn't half as newsworthy as "Sexy young girl with bulging eyeballs
hanging from tree". "Fat widow with bad wig in court" isn't worth writing
about, but "Young widow with peroxided highlights in court" is.
But this is the least irritating thing about the hanging story. This is
the bit that really gets my goat (oh oh, shouldn't have admitted I've got
a goat). "Burnt candles and a bottle of alcohol found near a piece of
ground that had been cleared to make way for a circular rock structure
brought members of the police Occult Related Crimes Unit to the scene."
Give me a break! Candles to see by, booze to pluck up courage, and a pile
of rocks to jump off? And suddenly Satan is wandering around in the
Magaliesberg? Surely he has enough to do down at SAFA?
The very fact that we have a Crimes Unit that apparently believes in Satan
makes me laugh. And even if I also believed in Satan, I'd have to say -
you can't even put Winnie Mandela behind bars, but you expect to clap the
cuffs on Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness? Dream on, buddy.
'Proof'
My favourite bit of the hanging story is the quote by a local resident:
"I've heard rumours of satanic rituals taking place on the mountain but I
have personally never seen anything and I climb that mountain myself
sometimes."
Well, there you have it: the absence of evidence PROVES that satanic
rituals take place there. If they weren't Satanists, they'd have nothing
to hide. This is an example of dross in a news story. The quote serves the
function of legitimising the rumour of Satanism, even though its literal
meaning is - there is no Satanism.
But without Satan, our news landscape would be a bleak and uninteresting
place. A place where children kill because society has let them down,
where Hansie Cronje steals because he's a greedy man, and where
suburbanites indulge in weird sexual practices because they're bored out
of their tiny little minds. Nope, we need Satan. It saves having to think
about the real reasons why people do bad things.
http://www.news24.com/News24/South_Africa/News/0,,2-7-1442_1546293,00.html
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| User: "Werewolfy" |
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| Title: Re: Satan Ate My Brain |
24 Jun 2004 05:22:38 PM |
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"Dr. Blunt" <ufocalypse@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<cbeb0902rfb@enews1.newsguy.com>...
Satan ate my brain
22/06/2004 11:50 - (SA)
Chris Roper
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Thanks. This man, Roper, is my sort of journalist.
Brilliant.
Werewolfy
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