Dennis Miller on Palestine

"A brief overview of the situation is always valuable, so as a service
to
all Americans who still don't get it, I now offer you the story of the
Middle East in just a few paragraphs, which is all you really need.


Here we go:


The Palestinians want their own country. There's just one thing about
that:
There are no Palestinians. It's a made up word. Israel was called
Palestine
for two thousand years. Like "Wiccan," "Palestinian" sounds ancient but
is
really a modern invention. Before the Israelis won the land in the 1967
war,
Gaza was owned by Egypt, the West Bank was owned by Jordan, and there
were
no "Palestinians."


As soon as the Jews took over and started growing oranges as big as
basketballs, what do you know, say hello to the "Palestinians," weeping
for
their deep bond with their lost "land" and "nation."


So for the sake of honesty, let's not use the word "Palestinian" any
more to
describe these delightful folks, who dance for joy at our defeats until

someone points out they're being taped. Instead, let's call them what
they
are: "Other Arabs Who Can't Accomplish Anything In Life And Would
Rather
Wrap Themselves In The Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal Struggle And
Death."


I know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN. How about this,
then:
"Adjacent Jew-Haters." Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters want their own
country. Oops, just one more thing: No, they don't. They could've had
their
own country any time in the last thirty years, especially two years ago
at
Camp David. But if you have your own country, you have to have traffic
lights and garbage trucks and Chambers of Commerce, and, worse, you
actually
have to figure out some way to make a living.


That's no fun. No, they want what all the other Jew-Haters in the
region
want: Israel. They also want a big pile of dead Jews, of course
--that's
where the real fun is -- but mostly they want Israel.


Why? For one thing, trying to destroy Israel - or "The Zionist Entity"
as
their textbooks call it -- for the last fifty years has allowed the
rulers
of Arab countries to divert the attention of their own people away from
the
fact that they're the blue-ribbon most illiterate, poorest, and
tribally
backward on God's Earth, and if you've ever been around God's Earth,
you
know that's really saying something.
It makes me roll my eyes every time one of our pundits waxes poetic
about
the great history and culture of the Muslim Mid east. Unless I'm
missing
something, the Arabs haven't given anything to the world since Algebra,
and,
by the way, thanks a hell of a lot for that one.


Chew this around and spit it out: Five hundred million Arabs; five
Million
Jews. Think of all the Arab countries as a football field, and Israel
as a
pack of matches sitting in the middle of it. And now these same folks
swear
that if Israel gives them half of that pack of matches, everyone will
be
pals.


Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about the string of wars to
obliterate the tiny country and the constant din of rabid blood oaths
to
drive every Jew into the sea? Oh, that? We were just kidding.


My friend, Kevin Rooney, made a gorgeous point the other day: Just
reverse
the numbers. Imagine five hundred million Jews and five million Arabs.
I was
stunned at the simple brilliance of it. Can anyone picture the Jews
strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite to themselves? Of course
not.


Or marshaling every fiber and force at their disposal for generations
to
drive a tiny Arab State into the sea? Nonsense. Or dancing for joy at
the
murder of innocents? Impossible. Or spreading and believing horrible
lies
about the Arabs baking their bread with the blood of children?


Disgusting.


No, as you know, left to themselves in a world of peace, the worst Jews

would ever do to people is debate them to death.


Mr. Bush, God bless him, is walking a tightrope. I understand that with

vital operations in Iraq and others, it's in our interest, as
Americans, to
try to stabilize our Arab allies as much as possible, and, after all,
that
can't be much harder than stabilizing a roomful of super models who've
just
had their drugs taken away.


However, in any big-picture strategy, there's always a danger of losing

moral weight. We've already lost some. After September 11th our
president
told us and the world he was going to root out all terrorists and the
countries that supported them. Beautiful. Then the Israelis, after
months
and months of having the equivalent of an Oklahoma City every week (and
then
every day) start to do the same thing we did, and we tell them to show
restraint.


If America were being attacked with an Oklahoma City every day, we
would all
very shortly be screaming for the administration to just be done with
it and
kill everything south of the Mediterranean and east of the Jordan.

Styrbj=F6rn wrote:

FL1PP3D wrote / skrev:

The bible speaks of NOTHING about what is happening and/or will happe=

Its a story of its own. Some parts taking real happenings into
concideration when it was written, taking parts from much older stori=

ideas, and religions. I'm shocked how people can recall the bible to
stories of today. As much as people would want it to, the bible does=

speak of anything that happens in today's world. Its just people who=

connections without valid proof and call it a fact.

So you say, but according to the Bible, the jews would be spread all
over the world (diaspora) and later return again. That's the main story.
Seems like a fact to me.

If people believe something enough, they will subconciously force a way to
'make it happen'. In that sense prohercy is 'valid.

.






"Styrbjörn" <tribe@war.soon> wrote in message
news:xZ9wg.10100$E02.3276@newsb.telia.net...

FL1PP3D wrote / skrev:

The bible speaks of NOTHING about what is happening and/or will happen.
Its a story of its own. Some parts taking real happenings into
concideration when it was written, taking parts from much older stories,
ideas, and religions. I'm shocked how people can recall the bible to
stories of today. As much as people would want it to, the bible doesn't
speak of anything that happens in today's world. Its just people who
make connections without valid proof and call it a fact.

So you say, but according to the Bible, the jews would be spread all over
the world (diaspora) and later return again. That's the main story. Seems
like a fact to me.