sweet as
+++
just spelling for th young man
scuse i
resources
no man
th word in th middle is
source
+++
coldplay
'speed of sound'
+++
trekked on th unicycle
to th shop
for some sugar
fascinating sunday afternoon
"and some fuckin sore muscles"
ok we ripped a few
yesterday
a really mellow
unicycle ride
+++
gday underground diary
+++
bits of me hurt
th bmx track was not kind to my body
"yes it was"
it aches
"smoke some more drugs"
"or go for another ride"
it helped ok
+++
"stop whingin"
+++
kevin bloody wilson
'***** chin mi gurlflen'
+++
is she from cambodia too paulie ?
"i dunno"
+++
cute as
+++
"thought it was th blonde white girl gave ya an eyebrow lift"
***** paulie
+++
george
'rain'
+++
i waited a month for that call morticia
burned yur number
"then th other ex girlfriend rang"
+++
nine o clock this morning
i'm woken up to
project bein done downstairs
homework effectively
and yelling
i cant get a sleep in
durin th week anymore
"or th weekend"
time to move again
+++
if i go out singin till six am
and you wake me up at half eight
to nab my phone line
i'll throw a fuckin brick at ya
and dont leave fish tin lids
on th fuckin sink
grrrrr
+++
th body knows
it stays up
late
friday and saturday night
it's pretty ingrained
wot th *****
do you want ?
+++
easy star all stars
'time'
+++
pink floyd cover
reggae version
"must you ?"
+++
have to replace those tap heads this week
+++
"tryin to put em in memory are ya ?"
you'll be ***** struck thursday
+++
all my life will ever bee
is what i leave beehind
me
+++
i was here
i existed
+++
pj harvey
'working for the man'
+++
i spent nearly a year
with irish and her brood
under cover
+++
"not quite stoned enough jen"
scuse i
..
..
..
hey magic girl
jennifer unicycle was well behaved today
forgiven me
it seems
not one spill between here and th shops
and back
+++
"musta liked bein put back"
"in th front seat"
+++
"ya dont wanna live with er do ya ?"
ummm
+++
"not with one chick jenny"
+++
pends wot sort of deal i can cut paulie
+++
city high
'caramel'
+++
not plain jane
versace lady jane
+++
"is wrongly named"
+++
'song for you'
+++
th lookup
really fucked th names for that album
+++
surfers paradise
been in my mind
watchin th indy race and
relivin my past there
and two redheads and i
dancin on a podium
and this guy askin me
how do ya do that ?
if ya have to ask
+++
be a little bit larger than life maybe
+++
"life's too fuckin boring otherwise"
back to th fray
+++
nirvana
'pennyroyal tea'
+++
"th head witch will ring again"
"she's busy"
+++
yeah ?
"she'll know when ya start fcukin again"
"and ring"
+++
gunna give yu wot for
for leavin one redhead in my porn
and th rest disappearin
"on th g drive"
+++
how do i do it man ?
i'm a fucking warlock
+++
out dancin with th head witch of th gold coast's best friend and
a chick we picked up
while dancing
+++
jimmy barnes
'i'd die to be with you tonight'
+++
"well she was a good root"
yeah but th head witch still fucked me
a coupel of hours later
"ah well"
told her th truth
"she liked that"
"chutzpah"
+++
"was a good night in"
"surfers paradise"
+++
***** gettin caught for it
i'll be away this weekend
with my weekend girlfriend
i'll probly be home sunday night
+++
she came before you did
+++
"shutup jeny"
+++
i had to drop em
they both put up with it
+++
do re mi
'1000 mouths'
+++
think this is wrongly named and all
+++
"something about crocodiles"
+++
<<<smile >>>
+++
ok jane
lets sit down
get drunk and stoned
and
see how we feel
+++
bobby mcferrin
'dont worry be happy'
+++
cool
+++
after all th crap i put her thru she still loves me
+++
"both rang on our birthday"
+++
has jane learned to listen ?
"probly not"
have i ?
"probly not"
then we'll get along
+++
goin to sleep
with th dulcet tones of yur girlfriend whingin in yur ear
about yur other girlfriend's
proclivities
talk about th pot callin th kettle black
+++
"ok i've missed it"
"and not"
dig it
+++
my girlfriends
always give me clothes
here wear this
jane on th phone is
all these pants paulie
come and dig thru em
+++
tom petty
'free falling'
+++
th free falling
on unicycles
thru creeks
and surf and
stretes
destroys clothes
+++
"and unicycles"
ok i'll oil it before th next mad ride
+++
i bought my nephew a unicycle
he's moved in
classic
two and a half men
shark thrasher sticker on it
"dont get called sharkie much anymore"
stopped wearin th shark fin wizard hat
yeah i liek
th bunny hops on yur pushie
th wrong way over th jump
shows spunk
but umm
you been out and about with me
and
goin over th combing on a uni
shows a ***** of a lot more
girls bike rider
<<<smiel >>>
+++
"we'll have to take him to th surf again"
"he likes ridin a uni into th waves"
soft crashes
+++
U2
'angel of harlem'
+++
coffee time ...
..
..
..
ah
sleepin tomorrow
he's takin him to school
i do th pickup
+++
inxs
'never tear us apart'
+++
yeah k
just dont stick a chick in th house
always disaster
+++
i used to come home
here
two days a week
+++
he couldnt ride th wheel surfer for *****
+++
blind melon
'no rain'
+++
shoulda put him on a unicycle first
+++
boys were yellin at me
change yur telly to 7
yeah ok
+++
not my fave station
+++
yur flywheel is too big
doin it that way
sittin inside th wheel
+++
noosa beach pplare stil
tryint o figure out how to deal with
th algae probem they have
smells real bad
yur kidding arent you
+++
pj harvey
'teclo'
+++
ya took
one th gems of th coast
built a huge fuckin groin
extending th land
and
it became th highest priced land in oz
for years
all th hippies
specially th mad
mushroom hippies th area engendered
were pushed off th stretes
th huge banana farm is gone
and most of th character th place had
replaced by yuppie cafes
and upmarket
dress shops
and you cant figure out why th place stinks
+++
***** it used to be gorgeous
great fishing and
beautiful waves and
unspoiled
then th money moved in
nothing cheap
for th masses here anymore
you wont be needing that
caravan park
and place to pitch tents
that we all grew up holidaying in
+++
serves ya right
+++
city high
'three way'
+++
bobbie and crackle lived in noosaville
just down th road
on th dole
and fishing for food
just before th place really fired
we'd lob in
catch fish and smoek drugs
and drink *****
and watch th rich
+++
shark fishing
+++
machine gun fellatio
'my ex girlfriends boyfriends got a band'
+++
you have to learn
how to spell
to pirate music
+++
it had beautiful waves
we'd park and
drink fourex
and watch th surfers
ah surf on th telly
cool synchronicity
+++
"a blow up surfboard"
+++
rather surf on my unicycle in th surf
longer waves
are coming to take us
+++
arlo guthrie
'the motorcycle song'
+++
just wanna ride on my uni sickle
+++
jane learned
paulie/jenny rid eunicycle now
yu go away
or ride bicycle
+++
"why am i rolling two smokes ?"
a coupel days now
+++
i can ride th same path
up and down
and its a different surf
every time
as i
practise
free falling
along on my
baby fly wheel
+++
the offspring
'track 5'
+++
"<<<Smile >>>"
"give me a hand with little jenny jane"
+++
"i hate being pregnant"
men dont have babys
+++
the offspring
'track 8'
+++
"andrew named himself at conception"
"jenny announced her prescence"
"before he came off th tit"
+++
andrew
your son
you asked for
will be born
on a monday at three
+++
monday 2:45 am
"put th smoke out elizabeth"
"its time to go inside"
"otherwise you'll have him out here"
+++
monday 3:01 am
good morning little man
welcome to th world
you arrived right on time
your mother will blow out forever
+++
"***** th *****"
+++
"when ya make an agreement liek that with a wizard"
"you stick to it"
+++
"you got your wish"
+++
we havent got andrews favourite song
"the offspring"
"come out to play"
+++
it's pay the man paulie
+++
you didnt pay th wizard's price
and you broke your wedding vows
+++
"young fella downstairs got a full lockup"
"frozen screen"
sorry
+++
ssshhh
+++
paulei and electricity
dont mix
+++
cycle th power and
see if it's that drive cable again
otherwise call me
and i'll come
trouble shoot
+++
have a look at this paulie
popped up in all music
CRUISELP 0:05
CWMFILM 3:37
that's nickie kidman singin come what may
"and a sound effect from a flight simulator"
it's funnier it's from a
flight simulator
"assuming of course you knew"
"cruise and kidman were married"
"and he'd doen a movie called top gun"
"which isnt real"
"just simulated"
isnt she 37 ?
+++
violent femmes
'gimme the car'
+++
life's weird little coincidences
+++
"cruise long play"
+++
<<<smile >>>
+++
flightsim
'CRUISELP'
+++
"ah *****"
+++
it's still on shuffle isnt it ?
"yeah"
umm paulei
can we write our own music player ?
"piece of *****"
wot random number generator we gunna use ?
+++
the red hot chilli peppers
'higher ground'
+++
"think windows will stop commentin"
"if we've written th random number generator"
"that chooses th songs"
no
i think it'll work
better
+++
"it'll never be a flat line jennifer"
"the universe has a flaw"
+++
for my own piece of mind
+++
the offspring
'the kids aren't alright'
+++
"ok"
"purple wrote a music player"
not like mine
+++
"thought you wanted to write it in java"
+++
i might yet
prone to changin my mind
+++
i want it to paint a picture paulie
"in real time ?"
both
whatever th dumb user requests
"not all users are dumb dear"
+++
hootie and the blowfish
'michelle post'
+++
welcome back online
+++
"yur takin better care of my body"
+++
"since ya stopped dirty dancin with five chicks"
"i've never been so happy"
+++
im still apologising
"just like jane will"
"for stickin my head thru a window"
"keep yur fingers outta th fro"
"if ya cant control yurself"
i dont wanna cut it off again
+++
more isla fisher than nickie kidman
"fiery"
+++
ammonia
'drugs'
+++
i'll sedate th ***** befor ei ***** er
"jennifer"
with pot paulie
and bourbon
+++
now stay off my hand
till yur whacked out of yur scone
"have a cone ya mad *****"
+++
takes a special kind of woman
to live with an online diary
underground or otherwise
that lives in th bedroom
get up in th morning
and read
how she made th bed unlivable th night before
after five or six of th freakiest orgasms
and how im goin to see th other girlfriend
***** friday
+++
fleetwood mac
'tusk'
+++
just writing up my adventures dear
how many gee's in orgasm ?
+++
somehow morticia
maori princess dianna
i dont think
that a dinner party
is a place for th subject of th conversation to be
the size of my penis
i swear
i did not start that conversation
help
+++
U2
'i still havent found what i'm looking for'
+++
fuckin white boys condoms
she'll tell that tale forever
+++
i think maybe
you hadnt seen as many dicks as you
thought you had
like th chick in th paper today
where have we heard htis before
divorce and
i can ***** liek a man
men cant even do it
then oh so experienced
till ya meet a chick
who really has
fucked lots of boys
whiel you were off
being married
+++
average
be fucked
+++
so yur goin out with bob
yur battery operated boyfriend
cant be a girlfriend can it
cause then it'd be a bog
and that just doesnt sound right
+++
primal scream
'get your rocks off'
+++
"sweet as"
+++
alright if it's average
i'll check it's size in yur arse
sorts th girls from th women
real fast
ok then
+++
i might be half girl
but th other half is insane male
+++
"toolin down that spoon"
"drain yesterday"
"out of it and"
"th unicycle struggling for traction"
avoidin th rocks in midstream
"and th fuckin tufts of grass"
"not much water cleared it out"
"lately"
gets my rocks off
+++
just a four inch
stream of water
and
sliding in th algal bloom
+++
squidgey uni cycle
+++
the geraldine fibbers
'dragon lady'
+++
have ya still got th jennifer doll ?
+++
"she's so gay"
+++
she doesnt like fuckin boys
"no sex change"
we settled that
+++
gotta show ya what th girls gave me for jenny's birthday
gorgeous little wizard shorts
think i
might
take em into th
fortitude valley one night
with a blowup baseball bat
stickin out of my rear end
and cruise past th gay nightclubs
it's cheeky and
they get cheeky
and
i'll have as much fun doin it
as th last time
oh you rude boy
+++
"its th gay chicks ya gotta watch out for"
+++
kuta lady did ring
by th way
"she's fuckin a boy now"
nothing lasts forever
her and her ex jennifer
are always both threatening
to ***** each other again
+++
kristin hersh and michael stipe
'your ghost'
+++
windows
+++
"besides i dont think"
"thats what either of em said"
ya reckon
+++
for a while there
i thought she was gunna take up with
jen's girlfriend
"its all mad"
+++
anyway
kuta lady sent me a text
"a star, i know"
"to send on"
and back
"no credit"
+++
city high
'so many things'
+++
five years are up
"*****"
+++
it's
'sista'
"kuta lady"
yeah
+++
you said she'd ring
"sent a gift of friendship"
i bitched at her paulei
yack to jenny for three fuckin hours
but see paulie
and forget
paulei was ever there
didnt forget th other girls
that were there
+++
"she reckons it's th gift's fault"
+++
and morticia
+++
bjork
'there's more to life than this'
+++
it's a yoke around my neck
+++
"a magic yoke though"
"all th same"
+++
they were pickin on ya in th paper nickie
jealous bitches
+++
jewel
'the new wild west'
+++
i'll call y back
in about a week
no-one's seen ya
since ya started fuckin a boy
+++
is she little jenny's mum ?
"we cant call her jenny"
she'll name herself
just liek andrew did
"and in th course of events"
"we'll meet"
or have met
but is it my child talking to me
before it's born
or am i just psychic
"or both"
+++
my mother couldnt decide
what name to call me
so she gave me two
+++
repeat
+++
it's been ten years little jenny
"it could be thirty"
+++
too fussy
andrew was easier to deal with
"says you"
+++
i bumped into elizabeth
no i stiffed er
got all these visions
she's gunna ruin my life man
and my wife
is too psychic
she can feel it too
where's th fuckin choice ?
free will
you *****
my six foot one and a half inch
flaming red haired wife
is going ballistic
help me little brother
your ex girlfriend is gunna
take me out
maree couldnt catch
we willed andrew
to get th ***** out
but
maree had enough and left
"and had four kids down th road"
and elizabeth
came a calling
ten months later
with a stack of records and
i want a son
and
bjork
'venus as a boy'
he was born
when i said he would be born
and he was
andrew
named when i came
and elizabeth fulfilled th prophecy id rung to little brother
i owned my own home
with gorgeous
permaculture garden
and kiln for firing my pottery whistles
and walked away with
two and half grand
five years later
litle jenny's painful paulie but
i dont think she's gunna do that to us
"fair enough"
i cant be in th same room as your mother
part of it's pheremones
part of it is
psychic
she'd ring me when i masturbated about her
and scream down th telephone
not normal man
still recovering
dont you do dare hurt me liek she did
+++
laurie anderson
'sweaters'
+++
and
if you threaten th life of my baby
inside you
and you've made an agreement
i'll record it
and play it on th internet
+++
"no ya wont"
+++
i dont wanna go thru that again
it's fuckin torture
+++
"to have that much magic"
+++
jewel
'sometimes it be that way'(live * live *)
+++
thanks jewel
ok
+++
"she was plagued by it too jenny and"
"we both felt"
"th moment of conception"
"was completely outside our control"
"andrew was pulling th strings"
i like fucking coffee little jenny
stop jumping th gun
+++
morticia was so skittish about getting jennifer
she got cut
+++
"i dont blame er"
she was magic enough
+++
city high
'caramel'
+++
"and cute enough"
"she woulda fuckin had you"
"i fucked yu for three years afterwards"
+++
"COFFEE"
+++
our union of souls
was destroyed in th pregnancy
new to both of us
even if she'd had
four kids
+++
"but i stayed five years"
+++
my son is magic
i'm magic
my next child will be magic
if you;re not magic
you wont be her mother
fussy liek her brother
+++
elizabeth was skinny
blonde
never fat
rakish thin
and fucking magic
+++
if ya didnt pick fights with me
th car door locks wouldnt
go up and down liek that
this is not fair on th children
+++
pj harvey
'down by the water'
+++
i remember having three daughters
and playin on th steam engine
on a sunday morning
th whole family out for a ride
on my two man sidecar
+++
elizabeth
sitting with a picnic hamper
under th coastal trees
and we'd have breakfast
whiel watching th bay of
happy rock
"gladstone"
maybe i should move back to happy rock and be gyro gearloose
+++
jewel
'grey matter'
+++
i hate you
i love you
+++
well jewel knows you elizabeth
+++
you've never met paulie
he was born after you left me
+++
i had to program
and understand
passing messages
from one
area of memory
to another
through a memory mapped file
+++
open wide
grey matter
+++
give me some control over this
gift
i dint liek it
when she complained i was givin her migraines
cause i woulda turned it off
+++
"she couldnt turn her mouth off"
+++
the verve
'the drugs dont work'
+++
stoned
and in th shower
under water
and no psychic i;ve met
chick anyway
can feel me
it's th only place i can fantasize
about certain ppl
without th phone ringing
+++
five so far jenny
+++
"i am not off to new zealand"
what did she say ?
"she can get fucked"
+++
maybe it's cause our jane is a kiwi
"no it was little jenny"
"i know my daughter"
"she might be background"
"but she's a fuckin strong psychic"
"ease up"
+++
she's got a bee in her bonnet
"a black chip on her shoulder"
+++
"you seriously think new zealand is any better ?"
last two chicks you dropped on me were kiwis
+++
pirate jenny
'wheel tail monkey'
+++
"i wish you;d do a new one"
+++
too slow
"does everything around here have to have two names?"
kutaman
+++
least new zealand had an official wizard
"doesnt he live here now ?"
"at surfers paradise"
something similar
+++
he retired
+++
"how much magic did he have ?"
+++
sorry
arch wizard
"<<<smiel >>>"
+++
pj harvey
'i think i'm a mother'
+++
i call a spade a spade
when i see you do
magic
that cant be my doing
i make a note of it
and if i liek ya
i do magic
and i make a note of that
liek pullin into sabrinas driveway
standin there with a hose in yur hand
ready to wash th car and
cant find th carsponge
to wash th car
hi beautiful why arent ya smilin at me ?
oh
i bought a car sponge on th way here
thought it was for a ***** pad for th unicycle
but it doesnt fit
didnt buy ya a present
that must be it
i'll just get it
out of th car
now yur smilin
<<<smiel >>>
+++
do re mi
man overboard'(remix)
+++
i try not to listen to th things i say
cause i know i speak truth
and truth fuckin hurts
what was that ?
no comment
i dont read comment
and i dont provide any
th diary writing stands on it's own
paulie isnt here to defend himself
in real life
he's mute
my brother
but he can talk all the same
..
..
..
jenny
+
"paulie"
=
land surfer dude
+++
p.s.
when his nuts start hurting every day
and you realise that
my god
he really is a fucking black and white wizard
with a curse
knock gently
or th ex president of a motorcycle club inside me
in my past
will talk to you gently
+++
budgie
'breadfan'
+++
"hmm"
+++
efua somewhere has started downloading again by itself paulie
"sweet as"
+++
"that's th video version"
"i still want that remix"
k
+++
have to kill th redirection bug first
before we can grab lyrics
"they're out there somewhere"
"im downloading new definitions"
+++
th joys of th internet
nighs nighs underground internet diary
.
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