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Werewolfy <Werewolfy1@yahoo.co.uk> wrote in
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.c om
:

On 25 Dec, 01:22, "Docrodile" <swampth...@hellsbayou.net> wrote:

It's part of the contract Rudolph signed ... under duress.
Nicholas had been starving him for days. He got his bale of hay
only after the abused reindeer agreed to use his red nose to
pleasure him and the Mrs.

Is that the raindear?

Werewolfy

Actually, Santa Claws might work also, but Claus is definitely
out. What can I say.. even Santa has been Americanized. I'm not
fully convinced he makes it to any houses outside the USA anyway.
:-)

Every Christmas, meteorologists and NORAD track his sleigh on
radar and he's always leaving the North Pole heading for America.

Indeed. I've heard he must move so fast to complete his alotted
deliveries and his sleigh is so full, that his rig generates enough
kinetic energy to immediately melt and vaporize the lead reindeer,
were it not for some sort of heat shield. Could this be what
Rudolph's nose really is, one massive heat shield ? We've never
really heard what happened to the other reindeers who took the lead
spot (perhaps it's better that we never find out).

Santa these days has to get DHS clearance as well as NORAD/NSC
permission. In Christmas 2001, he'd forgotten America had turned
into a paranoid fortress, so a heat-seeking Hellfire fired off a
Predator drone took out Blitzer and Donner, but failed to explode --
fortunately, thank God, for Santa and the rest of the reindeer!
They later found the two ill-fated reindeer pushed down twenty feet
into a northern Canadian tundra plain. A moose, believed to be
Bullwinkle of "Rocky and Bullwinkle" cartoon fame, was also found
dead in the crater. The Hellfire still hadn't exploded.
USAF investigators recommended in their final report that a
US-owned
missile factory in Shanghai have its quality control inspections
upgraded. Doc :))~

I'm finding all this a bit hard to believe doc.............
I had heard it was an amram air-launched cruise missile and the two
reindeer in question were Prancer and Dancer. Additionally, as the
two stricken animals careened into the Alaska air base, a phalanx gun
firing 3000 rounds per minute opened up on them, ripping them to
shreds. What finally ended up hitting the base were nothing less than
friend venison steaks ready to be eaten ! I'm sure they had to pick
the shrapnel out of the meat though, just as they used to spit the
buck-shot out of their meals in the old west. This is where the term
MRE (Meals Ready to be Eaten) actually came from. It was like manna
from heaven, venison falling from the sky after a successful
engagement with an incoming bogie (two of them).

Well, obviously we could argue about which account is more accurate,
in excruciating detail, Acorn-style, however, dozens of
Canadian/Eskimo sightings of a streaking cigar-shaped aerial object
with two brownish smoking lumps of unidentifiable material on its
forward nose seem to confirm that my account is closer to the truth.
Since they were apparently smoking, that would help confirm your
account of fried venison aerial falls being reported.
Yet, I believe there was still sufficient portions of both reindeer
bodies left on the missile's nose cone when it plowed deep into the
tundra, albeit missing one or two legs, parts of hind quarters,

Good, so we're good then on corroboration of the story, that is, outside
of the acorn disagreeing on some technicality which could throw a monkey-
wrench into the whole business, such as, you know, whether the reindeer
were actually flying east and praying toward Mecca as they flew, which
would have implied terrorist sympathy and actually made them a legitimate
target for NORAD and the Aerospace Defense Grid. The fact that Santa,
an innocent bystander and potential collateral hit for friendly fire was
so nearby wouldn't bother the acorn at all I'm sure. But hey, terrorist
reindeer fry up just the same as US-American reindeer says the acorn
(this apparently justifies his point of view, although only he
understands how it does).

tails, etc. Eskimos were the first on the crash scene and reported the
distinct odor of reindeer roasted meat wafting through the air,
although they could see only a deep hole with the thrust exhaust tail
visible. Obviously, the remains of the two reindeer, whether Donner
and Blitzen, or Prancer and Dancer (and let's not quibble about
details, please!), were hidden from view under the nose section.
Reports of Bullwinkle being found dead proved spurious later today,
when Rocky phoned a Montreal radio talk show host to assure his and
the mooses' many fans that Bullwinkle was, indeed, still alive,
although old and retired from show business.
That's at least some good news. And we certainly need any good news we
can get this dreary year.
Doc :))~~

No
indication in the American news reports he's going anywhere else.
I can only conclude St. Nicholas is a devoted nationalist...on a
true footnote, some Christians used to mention the name, Santa,
could be changed to Satan -- that's probably the same morons that
noted that Elvis could spell Evils. No kidding!
Doc